


A New Beginning

by EEVEE300



Category: Harvest Moon, Harvest Moon: A New Beginning
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 98,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EEVEE300/pseuds/EEVEE300
Summary: This is a story about Rachael's New Beginning in Echo Village and about how she fell in love with a certain Animal Dealer along the way. This is my first real attempt at a Fan Fiction story. All rights go to Natsume! Enjoy!
Relationships: Neil/Rachel | Rio
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7
Collections: Harvest Moon Classic





	1. A New Beginning

It was the first day of spring. As I walked down the winding forest mountain path a gentle burst of fresh clean invigorating wind caressed my skin and blew small strands of hair around my head. All of the former traces of winter had melted away with the dawning of the warm new sun and the start of a new season. Butterflies gracefully fluttered in the breeze and honey bees buzzed overhead. The lush green rolling banks, on either side, were beautifully decorated in all variations of colourful wild flower. The towering pine trees stood proudly as they circled the forest, on all sides, and cast ever lengthening shadows across the ground. The grass blew placidly, in the tranquil spring breeze, sending the serene smell of wild chamomile and lavender to my nostrils in the process. I inhaled deeply, I couldn't help but being humbled by my beautiful surroundings.

As I walked down the path I couldn't help but to unwind and let my mind wander. I had traveled quite a way from my home, in the city, and was in the process of making my way to a small town called Echo Village. I was to go there to revive my father's old farm that had fell into disrepair. It was my coming of age present, my chance to get out into the world and to be an independent adult, my father had told me. A chance to embark on a new life experience and to create new opportunities. I wasn't so sure about that myself. I know my father loved his ancestor's farmland and missed it dearly, he had given it up when he met and fell in love with my mother. My father moved to the city to marry and to be with her. I hadn't expected to be moving away from home to start a farm of all things. However, when my father had told me he had had a twinkle in his eye and a huge grin plastered on his face. I couldn't find it in me to refuse him or to let him down, to break his new found happiness. The prospect of the farm being passed on, and brought back to life, awoken a light inside of him. I think that maybe he realized that there was a chance that I could fulfill his old dream when he never seemed to have a chance to do so. So there I was trekking through the wilderness, leaving everything behind, trying to convince myself that perhaps the prospect of working on a farm wouldn't be too bad after all.

As I was pondering the path widened out into a clearing as I came out of the shadows of the proximity of the trees. A small cry escaped my lips as I spotted a hunched-over dark unmoving figure, blocking the path, in front of me. Frantically, I ran over to see what it was and I hoped my first thoughts about the still figure weren't true. As I quickly got closer it became quite unwelcomingly clear to me that my fears, about the situation, had indeed been confirmed. An elderly man lay passed out unconscious on the road in front of me. As I knelt down next to him I blew out a sigh of relief as I realized he was still breathing slightly; by the shallow small rise of continuous movement that came from his chest. After I had gently rolled the man onto his side I retrieved my water-bottle, from my rucksack, so that I could carefully splash some cold water over his face.

The stranger suddenly let out a startled gasp, as though the water that had touched his skin were poisonous, and his eyelids snapped open. The stranger's storm grey eyes met my own, large midnight blue ones, with a look of shock and bewilderment. He shrank away from my unexpected proximity as he lurched unsteadily to his feet from fear and confusion.

Now that the stranger was stood up straight, standing in front of me, I could get a much better look at him. He had a long slim slender face with a long pointy nose to match, he had a grey pointed beard to go along with his large curling mustache, he had small round eyes covered by grey bushy eyebrows, he had a thin mane of shoulder length shaggy uneven grey hair, and most peculiarly he wore a pointed battered light brown pilgrim hat with a buckle around the front and with a notepad and pencil sticking out of it.

As I stood there cautiously watching him the man began to unsteadily sway slightly on his feet. I quickly steadied him, and offered him my support, whilst I pulled him over to sit-down on a gnarled weathered tree trunk sitting just off the path.

After a while, with the help of a little rest and water, the man seemed to have finally begun to restore a little of his health. A little colour had reappeared back in his cheeks, he seemed to have regained a better sense of balance as he could sit up straight without his body swaying, and he seemed to be a little more coherent and aware of his surroundings.

"Uhhh... where am I? What …. happened to me?" the man croaked in a gruff voice as he looked up at me.

"I found you passed out unconscious on the path" I calmly explained, as I stared at him, half expecting him to start swaying again at any moment.

"Ah now I remember." The man replied "I was searching for some food and collapsed due to the heat"

The man observed me with a grateful smile as he added "It looks like I have you to thank for saving me. I appreciate it."

I averted my eyes embarrassed as I said "You're most welcome. I couldn't very well leave your there now could I?"

"No, I suppose not." The man said with a small smile as he continued "I can't say I've ever seen you in these parts though."

Of course not, I silently thought, we're in the middle of nowhere. Keeping my thoughts to myself, however, I replied to his unasked question by stating that I was indeed not from around these parts but had instead traveled a long way from the city to be here.

The man looked at me contemplatively as though he had just connected two dots together in his head and that somehow that connection had something to do with me. I inwardly squirmed under the stranger's continuous gaze as he said "I hope you won't take offense if I've got this wrong, but are you Rachael?"

"Yes." I replied automatically quite taken aback.

"Ah you are!" The man exclaimed enthusiastically, seeming not to notice my astonished expression, as he continued "Did your parents tell you about me? I'm Dunhill."

An invisible light-bulb flickered on in my mind at the mention of his name. A knowing look replaced my confused expression as I suddenly realized who he was, with that my worries about the stranger were swept away.

"Yes, Dunhill." I acknowledged as I added "My father has told me so much about you."

As Dunhill observantly looked at me he stated "There's such a strong family resemblance, it caught me of guard." With a warm friendly smile he added "It feels like I already know you."

I couldn't help but blush a little, at his forwardness, even though I could understand the meaning behind his sentiment. For any person who simultaneously knew me and my father it would be quite instantly clear to them just how much we looked alike. We had the same midnight blue eyes and light golden blonde hair. In my case, however, my hair fell just below the bottom of my back and stopped in a fringe that fell just above my eyes. I had the habit of impatiently blowing it out of the way whenever it fell in my eyes. However, I had also inherited some of my less prominent features from my mother. I had inherited her heart-shaped face, her soft features, and her petite frame.

I knew that Dunhill and my father had known each other for a very long time and had built a very strong friendship. I knew the pair had been extremely close when they had lived together in the same town. I knew from the endless stories my father would fondly tell me about the shenanigans the pair would get up to. I could clearly see that neither time, distance nor absence had hindered that friendship in any way. Perhaps when Dunhill looked at me he couldn't help but to be reminded of my father and to recall the moments that they had shared. I would venture to say that It felt like I knew him a little already too. I felt comforted by the knowledge that I may have already gained a friend before I had even reached the town.

I looked down, and gave Dunhill a shy smile, as I replied "I'd dare to say I feel I know you a little already too".

Dunhill's friendly smile just grew wider, pronouncing the wrinkles around his kind eyes. Dunhill said "Well I have known your folks for a long time. They sent me a letter actually saying you were coming."

I snapped my head up to bluntly stare at the elderly man. It just seemed he had more and more surprises to throw at me, the longer our encounter grew, I had a feeling this one wouldn't be the last either.

"What do you mean?" I questioned him. "Well, what did it say?" I could feel the curiosity leaking into my voice as my features twisted with anticipation.

Dunhill stood up from the tree trunk and came to stand over me. Dunhill's friendly smile morphed into a straight line as he looked down at me with all the seriousness of an interrogator. I began to sweat, to shrink back from him, as my thoughts ran wild. What could have possibly been in that letter? I thought to myself.

After what felt like longer than what it could have actually been Dunhill looked me dead in the eye and said "Only that they were sending me an extremely hard worker, and that I should make use of them however I pleased!"

I stumbled back from him in shock, almost tripping over a fallen branch in the process. My cheeks began to burn with embarrassment as I worked on righting myself. I pathetically tried to gain back whatever dignity I could. Standing up straight I managed to splutter out " E..E..Excuse me!" as I tried to look him in the eyes.

To my utter astonishment Dunhill all of a sudden dropped his serious demeanor and started to loudly chortle, bending over slightly in the process. My cheeks burned even deeper as I thought he was surely making fun of me, it seemed he had completely recovered from his dizzy spell. I squared my shoulders and crossed my arms as I glared at him. I was just about to give him a piece of my mind when he managed to stop laughing enough to say " Hah hah hah I'm just joking."

I didn't know whether to be irritated, relieved or amused at this revelation. Dunhill wiped a tear from his eye as his laughter slowly faded to an end. I was still trying to form some sort of response when Dunhill turned and started walking down the path, waving his hand behind him. I stood rooted to the spot with surprise as I blankly stared at his retreating figure. As he continued to walk away he turned his head back to call over his shoulder "Aren't you coming? The town is this way. Follow me."

I shook my head to try to clear it out of the confounded state it had been frequently forced in and out off throughout my interaction with Dunhill. Not quite managing to achieve this I managed to at least move my numb legs forward to follow after him. As I walked faster to catch up I shook my head again as I thought about what such a peculiar man Dunhill was. I smiled to myself a little as I thought I liked him all the more for it and I was looking forward to being able to interpret his odd character further. With that thought I carried on following Dunhill down the path to Echo Village, to my new home and to my new life. I had a sudden comforting feeling that perhaps this new beginning wouldn't be so bad after all.


	2. Echo Village

"Here we are. This is Echo Village." Dunhill proudly exclaimed as he swept his arm across the width of the town. My gaze followed his movement as I greedily soaked up the views of the town that was to be my new home. I looked, then I looked again, as my eyes scanned back and forth over the expanse of the town. Surely this couldn't be all of it; I secretly thought to myself. My wandering eyes came slowly to a standstill when I realized that there was nothing more to find, that there was no larger town somewhere hidden behind the microscopic barren one that I saw before me.

From what I could see the town was constituted of a few small buildings, scattered amongst a variety of different trees, with a singular dirt path running down the middle. The town looked like it had been picked right out of the dark ages, it didn't even have a bench or a single street light. The only objects that decorated the town were a number of wooden barrels and boxes; that were stacked up in one corner.

As I stood there I could feel a crushing disappointment diminishing my hopes and causing my heart to sink in my chest. I may have been biased, coming from the city, but I knew that Echo Village was so minuscule it would barley qualify to be on the map. Seeming to sense my disappointment Dunhill looked over at me, his smile had vanished into a tight line, his brow had creased and the sadness was prominent in his eyes. Guilt suddenly surged through my chest as I realized that I must have been the cause for that look, I quickly tried to rein my dissatisfaction in by plastering a smile on my face. At my effort Dunhill's lips turned slightly up at the corners but it didn't reach his eyes. Before I could apologize, or before Dunhill could start to explain about the town, I heard the sound of a carts wheels coming from the distance. I snapped my head up to try to discover the source of the sound. There were four figures gathered in the middle of the dirt path: There were two women, one man and a young child gathered around a large horse and wooden cart. As I curiously watched the scene unfold I could just about overhear what they were saying...

"Well thanks for everything." The man said to the two ladies in front of him.

The man was large. He wore a straw coloured trilby hat over his dark blonde hair that fell in a under-turned bowl cut shape around his ears, he had small eyes set deeply into his chubby face, and the whiskers of a mustache could be seen to have started to grow over his top lip. I couldn't look at the man without being reminded of a chipmunk.

"Hossan. You really are leaving town?" One of the women asked the man, apparently named Hossan, dejectedly.

The woman looked quite colourful and quirky. She wore a white apron, that was decorated with two large apples at the bottom of it, over a short-sleeved red and white polka dotted blouse. The woman wore a baby blue and white polka dotted beret over her beautifully curled shoulder-length strawberry coloured hair. She had kind round chocolate almond eyes; that were adorned by long lashes. She had a pair of full lips the colour of apples. However, most peculiarly of all the woman wore bright yellow elbow length rubber gloves.

Hossan tilted his hat and gazed at the women. He turned his eyes dismally to the ground as he stated "Everyone here has been so good to us, but there's no point in an inn with no one coming to stay."

The other woman replied to Hossan's reflection by saying in a small sympathetic detached voice "Yes... you're right, of course."

The woman was elderly, and even from here, I could see the deep wrinkles that were set in her face. The elderly woman wore a wide brimmed straw hat that covered her white hair,she had a small round face that didn't quite match with her rather large ears, she had small close set eyes that were set deeply into her face. I couldn't help but think that she looked very sweet and grand-motherly.

Hossan looked up with a new sense of determination in his eyes, his jaw was set, as he said "Were going to try running an inn in another town. I don't know if it will work out but we're going to give it a try." He looked down at the small child to the side of him and carried on to say "Right, Niko?"

The child, called Niko, looked up at his father and tried to put on a brave smile. He answered his father by firmly saying "Yes. We'll try!"

The child looked very much like a smaller version of his father. The only difference was that the child had large round eyes, innocent with childhood.

The elderly woman gave them both a small smile as she said "I understand... But do say you'll eventually come back, okay? We'll be waiting for you!"

Hossan genuinely smiled at the elderly woman's kindness as he replied determinedly "This is our hometown. We'll be back!" Hossan then added as an after-thought "We may even make it big in another town and come back rich."

It seemed he was trying to make light of the situation. It seemed to work as it pulled a smile and a small laugh from the elderly woman as she declared "Yes, you may indeed! I hope you'll remember us when that happens."

Hossan let out a small chortle at that as he said "Hah hah hah, of course." He then cast his eyes down and finally said in a more serious tone, after a small dejected sigh, "It's time for us to be going anyway."

The other younger woman replied by saying "We'll see you to the exit of the town then." She seemed to be trying to put on a brave face but it couldn't quite tackle her evident sadness. Her lips trembled slightly as she breathed "I guess this is goodbye for … for a while."

Hossan gave the two women a grateful smile as he said "Thankyou so much. Shall we, ladies?"

With that all four of them turned to go to, what I presumed was, the exit from the town. The horse and cart trailed behind them as they reached the other side of the town and disappeared from view. As I continued to stand there I could hear the sound of the trailing horse and cart growing more and more distant as it moved further away.

I thought about the scene I had just witnessed, for a moment, before I remembered that Dunhill was still standing next to me. I turned around to face him already anticipating what I would find there. Dunhill was hunched over slightly, his figure casting a long shadow across the ground, his head was cast downwards while his hat was titled to cover his face.

"Dunhill?" I said tentatively. With the sound of my voice Dunhill stood up straight and turned to face me. His eyes widened, as he remembered I was still there, and he apologetically said "Oh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to stop for so long."

I gave him an understanding smile and reached out to place a consoling hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong Dunhill?" I asked him softly.

Dunhill flashed me a small smile. He let out a small sigh as he explained "Those were some of our residents. The lady in the straw hat was Hana, and the one in the white apron was Emma."

At the mention of the names and brief descriptions he gave I mentally matched the names to the people I had seen earlier. I made a mental note to remember those names for future reference.

Dunhill continued on to explain further "The father and son, that were standing by the cart, are going to be leaving town today."

The realization of what had just happened seemed to hit Dunhill harder as he spoke about it out loud. His shoulders sagged forward and his eyes were hollow. His brow was creased and his mouth was set into a tight line. He looked so fragile and exhausted, so different from the man I had met not an hour before, and he seemed to have aged years in seconds. I felt an overpowering need to hug him and to tell him everything was going to be alright.

Even without Dunhill's explanation it was obvious that the residents were leaving town. I didn't want to make him feel worse by stating so instead I put on a surprised mask while I asked "Why would they be doing that?"

Instead of answering me Dunhill looked me straight in the eyes. His eyes that were so dim moments ago now burned with determination. In fact he looked absolutely resolute on telling me something. Dunhill continued to look at me dead on while he pointedly said "I'm not going to lie to you, as you may have figured out by now, we don't have many people living here."

His energy seemed to ebb away, he cast his gaze towards the ground as he went on to quietly say "In fact... You can count them on one hand."

Before I could reply to this Dunhill looked at me with an angry fire in his eyes. I raised my eyes as I was taken aback by his sudden changes in emotion. Dunhill stood up straight, and he curled his hand into a fist, as he passionately said "This town is not without it's appeal though! It's overflowing with nature and all the people here are kind and honest."

The sudden fire left his gaze, his features contorted with bitterness, as he went on to resentfully say "But that alone isn't enough to operate a successful town." Dunhill seemed to forget that he was talking to me, he clenched his fist tighter, as he continued fervently "The falling number of people means there's no work, and that drives more people away. A viscous cycle!".

I stood there saying nothing; silenced by the surprise of his sudden outburst. After a few moments Dunhill seemed to have reigned himself in as he apologetically said "Ah sorry for hitting you with all this right after you got here, I just don't want to misinterpret to you what's happening here in town."

I didn't want Dunhill to think that I was led here under false pretenses. I shook my head slightly and waved my hands in front of me as I objected "No, no. That's not what you were doing at all. If anything I appreciate your honesty, thankyou."

Wanting to make light of the situation, perhaps maybe even to cheer Dunhill up a little in the process, I continued to say "Besides good things come in small packages."

Dunhill laughed slightly, he seemed to appreciate my effort. Dunhill sighed as he tried to plaster a smile on his face. He raised his eyebrows as he said "Let's put troubling talk aside us for now anyway and go and see the farm, come on!"

I nodded my head in agreement as Dunhill started to walk into town and presumably toward my farm. At the prospect of finally being able to see my new farm a burst of anticipation and excitement shot threw me. This was enough to remove my worries about the town away, for the time being, as I enthusiastically began to follow Dunhill into town. As I jogged to catch up with his long strides one thought crossed my mind. I silently promised myself, with a strong conviction, that I would do everything within my power to help this town...


	3. Echo Farm

"Here we are. This is the land that you have now taken on. You may use it however you like."Dunhill stated as we rounded the corner that led to my new farm.

The thankyou, that I was about to say, had barley formed on my lips when it was suddenly stopped by my first real view of the farm. My eyes widened in shock, and my mouth dropped open, as I surveyed the area in front of me. I blinked repeatedly and swept my gaze over the length of the land again and again. However, no matter what I did the disastrous vision I saw before me didn't change. After I even went as far as rubbing my eyes and pinching myself I had to accept the harsh reality of what I saw before me was indeed real. The farm was in such a state of disrepair that you couldn't distinguish were one part of it started and another ended, it was not an over exaggeration to state that it looked like World War Three had secretly taken place there. There were thick large branches and huge wide boulders spread out randomly all across the farm. There was a vast number of trees spread out ,so much so, that it looked like a farm within a forest. The grass was so over-grown that It reached up to touch just below my shin and weeds covered every available inch. There were even large potholes scattered around. The many obstacles in the way prevented me from seeing the full perimeter of the farm, I couldn't tell how far back it went.

I whirled back around to Dunhill who stood there cautiously examining my reaction, like I was bomb that could go off at any moment. I raised my eyes questioningly to silently prompt him to explain to me the devastation that I was witnessing, I was to stunned to command my lips to form the words to ask him verbally. I was secretly holding on to the hope that he had mistakenly took me to the wrong farm, that he would say so, and that we would depart to the correct one immediately. My hopes were shattered as Dunhill explained "Your farm... Hasn't been touched in a number of years, it's pretty wild."

Dunhill took a small step back and scrunched up his eyes with anticipation, he seemed to be preparing himself for the reaction that he expected to follow.

"I can see that Dunhill!" I nearly screamed at him as I waved my arms frantically in the air. I inwardly cursed my father, a warning would have been nice. I knew that I had to compose myself and took a long deep breath to do so. My heart was racing, I could feel my blood pressure rising, and my head was already beginning to ache from stress. As I managed to calm down a little I was able to slightly get over the first initial shock of what I had seen. Once some of the panic had left my mind I was able to think more coherently again. Then a thought began to emerge in my mind, like a sproutling starting to emerge from the soil, and I began to think about just how exactly I was going to clean up the complete nightmare that was my new farm. Another round of panic, stress and worry possessed me. I could feel my face getting hotter, scrunching up from frustration, I began to wave my arms at Dunhill again as I cried at him "What am I going to do about this mess? It's going to take me forever to clean it up!"

Dunhill bravely came over to place a comforting hand on my shoulder, the way I had bellowed at him I would have expected him to take five steps back from me. Dunhill looked at me sympathetically, he gave my shoulder an understanding squeeze, as he softly explained "After hearing that you were coming we all worked to clean up the house and garden as much as we could".

The frustration seemed to dissipate from my being, like the air from a balloon that had just been let loose, it was immediately replaced by a strong feeling of guilt and remorse. Here I was taking my grievances out on Dunhill after everything he had done to prepare my farm as much as he could for my arrival. I shamefully cast my gaze to the ground as I apologetically said "I had no clue, I'm so sorry for taking my frustrations out on you!"

Dunhill gave my shoulder another understanding squeeze as he said "That's quite all right, I know this has come as a shock to you."

Dunhill then turned me around to face the expanse of the farm. I could feel him smiling as he quietly said "But I bet if you dealt with all these branches, rocks, trees and weeds you'd get this place looking spick and span in no time. I think that's the best place to start anyway."

I looked up at Dunhill who was looking down at me with reassuringly. I was met by his warm smile, the smile that made his eyes crinkle in the corners. He grasped me softly by both shoulders as he confidently exclaimed "I bet there's a whole functioning farm, underneath this mess, just waiting to be thawed out and cultivated."

With a spark of hope I realized that he was right, that I just needed to find the potential beneath the catastrophe. I gave Dunhill a grateful smile. I took a deep breath and let it out in a large sigh, I prepared myself to turn around again to face the sight that awaited me. This time I managed to look past the initial disarray to what could be seen behind it. I was surprised to see that there was much more to the farm that had first met my eye. As I took a few steps farther in I could see what it held. There was a large wooden barn, with a metallic navy roof, and large wooden double doors. It was situated to the left of the farm; close to the entrance. The barn was enclosed by a simple wooden fence and it was accessible through a large plain wooden arch. Opposite the barn there was a large farm house, made out of wooden panels, with a bright red tiled roof, and with large carved double wooden front doors. There appeared to be some sort of cylinder tower like structure attached to the house on the right, it looked to be like some kind of studio. To the right of the farm, not far from the house, situated a stone rectangular pumping well amongst the trees, it was surrounded by weeds and the iron tap had gathered rust with age. The land of the farm heightened considerably toward the back on the far right. Here the land steeped upwards into small cliff that created a small ledge of land.

As I slowly gazed over the farm I realized that It was not as completely unmanageable nor as impractical as I first thought it to be. I continued to study the farm and the possibilities of it seemed to leap out at me. Cynical pessimism to into excited optimism. The gears in my mind began to whirl into overdrive as I began to imagine the potentials that the farm could produce. I began to mentally form a plan about how I was going to start to go about preparing the farm and land. I was contemplating about how I was going to go about removing the trees and boulders when I was snapped out of my reverie by a gruff voice. I turned around to find that Dunhill was still standing behind me, I had rudely forgotten him while I had been lost in my thoughts. I refocused back on him to catch what he was saying "Now that I've shown you your farm I need to show you your house."

Dunhill smiled as he took in my bright eyes, he started to walk towards the farm house's large wooden double front doors. Urged by curiosity I turned around to hastily follow him.

"Well this is the house you'll be living in from now on." I heard Dunhill explain as I closed the farm house doors shut behind me.

As I walked into the house I let my eyes curiously wander over the interior of it. The house was quite plain but it was sweet in it's simplicity. The walls were white and decorated with equally integrated dark wooden panels. The floor consisted of light wooden floorboards and there was a green rug in the center. The majority of the furniture was wooden, simple and light: Table, chairs, bed, wardrobe. The windows were made of wood and were embellished by green curtains. There was a simple kitchen in one corner and a door that, I presumed, led to the washroom in the other. I saw my suitcase, that had arrived earlier, sitting at the foot of the bed.

As I stood there I couldn't help but feel grateful that the house didn't need as nearly as much work as the farm did. I felt a huge grin forming on my face as I took in my new home, as soon as I was settled in and unpacked it would be. The prospect of living on my own, of being independent, didn't feel as nearly as uninviting as it did only a few hours before. I realized, for the first time in my life, I had something that I could truly call my own. Something that I could mold and do whatever I wanted to do with. In that moment it felt easier to leave the city and my old live behind.

Dunhill smiled as he observed the broad grin on my face. "I'm glad you like it." He stated.

I gave a fervent nod of my head as he went on to say "Well I'll leave you to settle in and I'll come by tomorrow morning to show you the town, if you have any questions before then feel free to come and ask me."

Before I could express my gratitude Dunhill had already turned around and was making his way toward the door.

I quickly shouted to him "Thanks for everything Dunhill!"

He simply waved a hand behind his head in acknowledgement. Again I thought to myself what a strange man Dunhill was and I contemplated if he made a habit out of hasty exits. I knew that I was already fond of the man, he'd done so much for me.

Now that I had finally arrived, and the day was quickly starting to come to an end, I began to feel the signs of exhaustion. Like a child I ran to my bed and threw myself down on it. I couldn't keep the grin of my face as I looked around my new home once again. My new home, I really liked the sound of that. Despite my excitement my heavy eyelids started to involuntarily flutter shut. My last thoughts were about what tomorrow would bring, about how I would start to repair my farm and help the town. I realised that I was going to take on a whole lot more than what I ever had anticipated to. I gave a contented sigh as my hectic thoughts slowed down enough for me to sink into a sweet oblivion...


	4. Meeting the animal dealer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> I'm sorry if this chapter is a little long winded and descriptive. I have tried to fit two chapters, and a lot of information, into one. If you want to go straight onto Neil and Rachael's encounter then just skip forward in the story a little. :)

It had been nearly three weeks since I had first moved into my farm in Echo Village. The Spring continued to move lazily forward bringing with it an abundance of new life, fresh air and bright warm sunshine. I'd like to think that I had settled into the small town rather well. All of the villagers few residents had been so welcoming, kind and helpful. I was happy to say that I had adapted to farm life like a duck to water, it was in my blood after all. In the space of a few weeks the desolate farm, that I had first laid eyes on, had been transformed into a new nearly unrecognizable one all together. The rocks, trees, branches, potholes, weeds and debris had almost all been cleared away to leave space for a new farm to grow afresh in it's place.

After the space had been cleared I had really set to work. I had ploughed the almost unresisting earth to create an abundance of numerous seedbeds. I happily filled them with all sorts of various Spring crops: Turnips, potatoes, Marguerite flowers, Spring tea leaves and fruit trees.

The townsfolk had generously offered their assistance but I couldn't have asked for anymore from them. Especially old Hana and Dunhill was older than he appeared to be. Instead Dunhill had checked on me persistently to make sure that I hadn't fell down a pothole or knocked my head against a rock.

As my farm grew more and more so did my experience and knowledge along with it. After what I had thought was a little bit of a shaky start the farm was finally starting to come into it's own. As the farm flourished so did it's income, little by little. From this aspect, and the savings I had managed to bring with me, I was able to afford a more diverse range of crops: cotton, flax and wheat. I even managed to add a few paddies to start to cultivate rice in. I also added mushroom logs and beehives to my growing expansion. I had been quite the carpenter back in the city, it was a hobby of mine that I had always liked to do, and I didn't think I was being too arrogant by stating that I wasn't to shabby at it either. I had started of using building blocks and had gradually worked my way up to building chairs and tables as I grew older. From this skill I was able to decorate my farm and add more facilities to it. The construction studio, that was built into the side of my house, had some old blueprints and materials buried deep within it. I was able to build pretty flowerbeds, sturdy benches, funny looking scarecrows, and more wooden boxes and barrels for storage. I was even able to build a small storage shed; which was very handy in my line of work.

As my farm flourished I hoped that the town would begin to flourish along with it. I hoped the income and shipments from my farm would add to the town's economy and revenue as it grew. I hoped then, that from this, that more people would start to return to the town again and that it's where-abouts would become more well known. I hoped that once one person had returned it would set of a chain reaction that would cause everyone else to return too, one by one, I had an unwelcome feeling it wasn't going to be as easy as that though. At the moment I had no other larger plans to help the town to escape the crisis that it had fallen into. I just hoped that for the minute my farm would be enough to stop it from falling further into misfortune. Despite this aspect, to everyone's utter amazement, one new resident did come to town not too long after I had arrived. Her name was Iroha...

Iroha was the blacksmith that had come to Echo Village looking to find some of the rare oars that existed in the small mine, just outside the town, inside the outskirts of the woods. Iroha had wanted to stay in the town's Inn while she conducted her research, however, with Hossan gone that was impossible. This left quite the conundrum as no one wanted the long awaited new resident to have to leave again so soon after she arrived, despite how long she intended to stay for. Dunhill promptly came to the rescue by suggesting that Iroha could stay in the one empty house that was still left in town. As it just so happened that vacant house actually turned out to contain a forge, after finding that factor out Iroha couldn't wait to move in. As I later found out a part of Iroha's enthusiasm came from her desperate need for independence. Iroha came from a whole family of blacksmiths, with a pack of brother's to compete with too. I had found out that life for her growing up was tough as she tried to establish herself as a fully fledged blacksmith amongst her family, however, this was extremely difficult for her as she had to coincide with her brothers. It was hard for her to try to get her family to take her seriously especially combined with the fact that she was female. Iroha's family thought she would be better suited as a housewife and to being a mother.

That's the story of how Iroha came to Echo village, and thinking about it, it was really handy to have a blacksmith in town to mend my farm tools. Two new residents, in the space of a few weeks, had really helped to lift everyone's spirits. However, it seemed the increase in population was at a standstill for the moment.

It was really pleasing to have another girl my age in town. Iroha and I had gotten on well together right from the start, being in similar situations we had stuck together like glue. I couldn't help but to like her relaxing and sincere demeanor. Even though I had only known Iroha for a short time I knew that she was the type of person you felt you could trust and confide in, the type of person you could count on for honest advice. She was the type of person who was comfortable in silence and was just happy to keep you company, she always spoke straight to the point and said what was on her mind. If Iroha had one fault, however, it was that she was just a tad to serious on occasion and found it hard to unwind. Iroha was extremely hard working, I would often find her with a new injury she had gained from pushing herself to hard while working at the forge. With no current town doctor I had given myself the demanding task of looking out for her health and welfare. I could picture her in my mind now...

Iroha was the incantation of simple but real beauty. She had long silken straight hair, as black as a raven, and skin as pale as snow. In fact her looks could be compared to those of Snow White. Iroha had wide knowing dark eyes, perfectly nestled into her heart shaped face, framed by dark long lashes. She always wore her hair up in a high pony tail and a headband kept her hair out of her face. Iroha wore a sleeveless Eastern styled navy blue jumpsuit with plain red Eastern styled pointed shoes. She could always be seen with some tool, or another, in her hands.

As I had been contemplating my time on the farm, the town and my new budding friendship with Iroha, I had been getting along with that morning's chores. I had found that my mind often wandered when partaking in farm chores. I was just finishing off the last of my chores for the morning, the farm was still quite small and expanding, the workload for the moment was not too time-consuming. I had just about finished watering the last of my crops, a patch of sprouting turnips close the barn, when I heard a loud "Moo!"

Bewildered I snapped my head up. I must have imagined it. My eyes scanned the area in front of me and they quickly found the origin of the noise. Walking down the path towards me, from the north entrance of my farm, was a cow! I stood rooted to the spot as the cow trotted it's way over to me without a care in the world. As my mind finally wrapped itself around the fact that a cow was moving towards me from nowhere I felt my face brake into a huge grin. I dropped my old rusted iron watering can to the ground as I began to hurry towards the ever approaching cow. As I reached the animal it stopped in it's tracks and looked up to gaze at me with wide soft dark brown eyes. I began to affectionately stroke the cow's soft head as I warmly asked it "Where on Earth did you come from?"

In answer the cow only responded with another loud "Moo!" as I continued to pet her head.

"Hey, you there! Are you Rachael?"

For the second time my head briskly snapped up, in response to the loud questioning voice that had just called my name. I stopped petting the cow as my curious eyes darted towards the farm's entrance, where I had heard the exclaiming voice come from. A stranger was quickly making his may down the path towards us. My eyes lit up in understanding as I realized perhaps this stranger was the owner of this adorable cow, it would explain a lot anyway. The stranger came to a stop in front of me as I answered "Yes, I am. You wouldn't happen to be the owner of this cow now would you?"

I looked at the stranger, waiting for him to reply, and realized that he was looking down at me with a cold icy glare. I reflexively shrank back from the stranger's frosty appraisal, his eyes looked me up and down as though he were examining a cockroach under a microscope and was disgusted with what he found. As the stranger continued to appraise me I couldn't look away from his glacial eyes, they seemed to trap me like a rabbit frozen under a pair of headlights. In my subconscious I realized that the stranger's eyes where a peculiar colour. They were the colour of amethyst and like the stone they were just as hard.

With a scowl the stranger finally replied, snapping me out of my trance. "I'm Neil. I run the Animal Store in this town. Old man Dunhill sends me to give his regards"

That explained why he was here but it still didn't explain the presence of the cow. I looked at him confused as I tilted my head towards the cow. The stranger, named Neil, flickered his eyes from my own to the cow's and back to mine again."Oh, this? Think of it as contribution towards your stock." He stated.

I stared at Neil blankly for a few moments until I realized what he had said meant. I lit up with delight, my face broke into a huge grin as I looked at the cow. I realized that Dunhill must have sent Neil to help me to introduce livestock to my farm. Before I got ahead of myself, however, I knew it was only right that I should thank Neil properly for his generous gift. As I opened my mouth, to say thankyou, Neil quickly waved his hands and shook his head. "Don't get me wrong! It's a present from Dunhill. I'm just the messenger." He exclaimed.

I felt my face falter for a moment as I realized my mistake. It soon returned to a grin as I realized that I still got to keep the cow, from Neil or not. I let out a small squeal of glee and I clasped my hands together. I excitedly flung my arms around the cows neck, in response it gave out a happy loud "Moo!". I made a mental note to thank Dunhill later.

Neil gave an irritated sigh as he said "How about picking a name?"

I came out of my embrace with my new cow and unwillingly turned my attention back to Neil . In my excitement I hadn't really thought about giving the cow a name, however, it was only right if I was going to keep it.

"Hmmm a name..." I said thoughtfully to myself as I gazed at the cow, looking for inspiration. I titled my head as I began to ponder about possible names, it was at that moment that I saw that a bell was tied around the cow's neck with light blue ribbon. I gasped, as inspiration hit, and I turned back towards Neil with bright eyes and a wide grin. I clasped my hands together as I proclaimed "Oh. I know, I'll name her Belle. It's perfect! It means beautiful in French." She really was with a blonde tuft of fur on her head, with a soft pink snout, and with a shiny white coat covered with large black spots.

Neil looked at me with bored weary eyes as though he were getting ever increasingly tired with our encounter the longer it drew on. He rolled his eyes as he said "Humph, I guess it will do."

My features twitched slightly in annoyance. Neil's continued rudeness and hostility was becoming irritating. I didn't know what I had done to provoke such dislike in the man so quickly, he was starting to get on my nerves. I folded my arms defensively preparing to ask Neil just what his problem was. I was sidetracked when Belle gave a loud delighted "Moo!"

I felt my face falter as I hesitated to speak what I was about to say. I looked at Neil for a few more seconds, thought better of it, then turned my attention back to Belle. When I looked into those soft brown eyes I felt myself melt like butter. How could anyone feel anything else but adoration when in the presence of such an adorable creature. I bent my head to Belle's, and began to caress her smooth tuft of fur, as I affectionately said "I guess you like your new name then Belle."

In response Belle happily wagged her tail and gave out a contended soft "Moo."

I felt a gaze, on the back of my head, watching me. I stood up straight and turned to look at Neil. Neil's eyes flickered from my own to the cow's and back to my own again. He regarded me with a contemplative look, they curiously narrowed as he stated "This one doesn't normally trust people. I had a hard time bringing her here. I think she's quite fond of you."

Neil continued to ponderingly look between the two of us as though he couldn't quite figure something out, like he couldn't accept the animal's quick fondness towards me.

Neil's eyes suddenly widened as he snapped his head up and stood up rigidly, he looked as though he had just remembered something very important as he asked "Wait, do you even know how to take care of livestock?"

I giggled slightly, at his sudden alarm, as I replied "I do. My farther was an excellent farmer, he taught me everything he knows about farming and livestock. You don't have to worry."

I may not have gone to the country much as a child but that hadn't stopped my father from passing down what he knew. I fondly remembered the small garden that I would help him cultivate at the back of the house. We even used to have a pet cow we kept on a field we rented a few miles away. That wasn't to mention the fact my bookshelf was packed with books on how to effectively raise crops and livestock.

Neil's rigid posture relaxed, he let out a sigh of relief as he said "Good. In that case, your good to go! If you have any doubts you can come and find me."

I gave Neil a grateful smile as I appreciatively replied "I will, thankyou!"

Neil scowled and looked at me in a way that made me think he immediately regretted his offer for help, liked he wished he hadn't spoken so soon. Neil looked me over once more before he gave me a quick firm nod of his head. He then commenced to turn on his heel, without another word, as he began to make his way back towards the entrance of the farm.

I was left staring open mouthed at his hasty departure. As I watched Neil's withdrawing figure he suddenly stopped in his tracks, like he had forgotten something. Neil spun back around and turned to face me. Neil glared at me accusatively, like it were my fault he had to stop, as he begrudgingly said "I forgot to tell you about my Animal Shore. It's open from Monday to Thursday, from 10AM to 6PM, on the town plaza."

He scowled as he continued to say as an afterthought "We're closed on rainy days, Keep that in mind!"

With that Neil turned on his heel again as though he couldn't bear to be in my company one minute longer than he had to. I was left gawping before I could think to say anything. I shook my head in complete amazement as I watched Neil walk further and further away; he eventually disappeared out of the farm and out of my view. I thought how could anyone be so hostile or dislike anyone so quickly. I made a mental note to myself to avoid Neil wherever necessary as I was not too keen to run into his super sunny personality again.

I started to lead Belle towards the barn whilst trying to get thoughts of Neil out of my head. I didn't want to waste a second more of my time thinking about him but something about him just really stuck my back up, really got to me. I wanted to know just what his problem was.

As I thought about him a mental image of him came to mind. Neil had a messy unkept mop of golden blonde hair that fell into his striking amethyst coloured eyes. It was a shame those alluring eyes were narrowed into what appeared to be a constant scowl, a scowl that seemed to be sewed onto his features. His features were sharp and angular. The more I thought about him the more I couldn't help but think that the animal dealer was actually quite attractive under his scowl. He looked like a rock star, any young girl couldn't help to fall for, with his surly looks and combat boots.

I blushed a little to myself and shook my head hard to shake off the unwelcome train of thought my mind had taken. I didn't want to think about how attractive I thought the animal dealer was as his looks were overshadowed by his vulgar personality. I knew he couldn't know that I was thinking these types of things about him but I didn't want to give him any satisfaction all the same. As I worked at getting Belle settled into her new home I tried to stop my thoughts from wondering back to the animal dealer but I couldn't help but to think, and secretly wish, about when I would see him again...


	5. Meeting the farmer - Neil's P.O.V

I grumbled to myself as I slowly trudged my way over to Echo farm to get acquainted with the new farmer. I had been out of town for a quite a while on an extended business trip. As soon as I had come back Dunhill had not hesitated in cornering me whilst he had explained about the new resident farmer. He had also explained about another young woman who had recently come to town, Iroha, a blacksmith. I had then somehow let the old man twist my arm into agreeing to deliver a cow to the new farmer the day right after I had came back. To be honest a small part of me was driven by curiosity to see what all the excitement was over just because a new resident had come to town. I knew a new resident was a complete shock to this small town, let alone two, but Dunhill had spoken about her like she were something he couldn't quite believe. It was like she was this shinning new toy that everyone couldn't help but to fawn over. Well I wasn't going to fall for her antics, I liked the town the way it was without a new resident arriving to cause me hassle. What had Dunhill called her again? …. Oh, Rachael, that was it. There didn't seem to be anything extraordinary about her name.

As I was silently complaining to myself I looked up and noticed that the cow, that I was delivering, had wondered well over the entrance into the farm. I quickly picked up my pace to catch up with her. As I came into the farm I spotted the cow, who had wondered a little way in, she was being affectionately petted by a young woman. I realized that this young woman must be the new farmer. As I continued my advance towards the pair of them I loudly called out "Hey, you there! Are you Rachael?"

The startled farmer's head snapped up towards me as I came to a stop in front of her. The farmer looked at me confused at first but then an understanding seemed to light her eyes as she replied "Yes, you wouldn't happen to be the owner of this cow now would you?"

Instead of answering her question, at first, I looked her over. I couldn't help but to begrudgingly admit to myself that she was quite pretty with her long light blonde hair and large midnight blue eyes. She struck me as the kind of girl who didn't realize she was pretty. I had known women that were beautiful and they had used that beauty like a whip. Instead she looked very innocent with her twin braids that fell over her baggy mud-stained overalls. Looking at her though I couldn't discover what it was about her that had the whole town mesmerized. She looked completely ordinary to me if not a little lost or out of it. I couldn't help but to think how such a small girl, like her, was going to successfully run a whole farm on her own. I just hoped that she could live up to the townsfolk's expectations, the last thing they needed was more disappointment.

As I continued to gaze at the new farmer I realized that she had a frightened look on her face and was shrinking back from me. I wondered what she was doing when I realized that I must have been staring at her for what was far longer than was considered to be usual. I also knew that the expression that I was staring at her with could not have been that warm or inviting.

With a blink I finally introduced myself to the farmer and gave a brief explanation as to why I was there "I'm Neil. I run the Animal Store in this town. Old man Dunhill sends me to give his regards."

With my words the girl seemed to snap out of a trance as she gazed at me perplexedly, her eyes widened in confusion as she questioningly tilted her head towards the cow in front of her.

"Oh right." I thought to myself as my gaze flickered from her to the cow and back to her again. Of course she would be curious about the cow; I hadn't explained that to her yet. "Oh, this?" I said "Think of it as contribution towards your stock."

I watched as the farmer took in my words and her eyes lit up in delight. Her face broke out into a huge grin as her gaze flickered between me and the cow. I realized, in horror, that she thought that I was giving her the cow. Before she could get carried away I quickly shook my head and waved my hands as I said "Don't get me wrong! It's a present from Dunhill. I'm just the messenger."

The farmer's smile faltered for a moment before it came back even wider than before as she joyfully clasped her hands together. It seemed she was just excited she got to keep the cow no matter whom it came from. I continued to watch as she threw her arms around the cows neck and buried her head there. I grimaced in disdain as I thought how could a person get so excited so easily. The cow seemed happy at least by how loudly it was mooing.

I was quickly getting bored with the farmers antics. I wanted our exchange to be over as soon as possible, I had given up too much of my morning to her already as it was. I let out a frustrated sigh as I suggested to her "How about picking a name?"

The farmer came out of her embrace with the cow as she turned to gaze at me questioningly before her eyes widened in acknowledgement, she cocked her head as she looked thoughtfully at the cow. "Hmm... a name." She whispered contemplatively to herself. I could feel my irritation growing with impatience as she continued to look ponderingly at the cow, I thought how hard could it be to pick a name.

As I was thinking this the farmer turned back towards me with bright eyes and a huge smile, she clasped her hands together as she excitedly exclaimed "Oh, I know, I'll name her Belle. It's perfect! It's French for Beautiful."

I rolled my eyes at her over-exaggerated excitement, it was like she had just discovered the answer to a difficult equation instead of only picking a name for a cow. "How original." I thought to myself as I realised she must have gotten the idea for the name after the bell I had tied around the cows neck, that morning, with bright blue ribbon. Besides, French. I had to try not to snort, how ridiculous, was she naming her cow or her child.

I gazed at the farmer with a bored expression as I replied "Humph, I guess it will do."

At my words an annoyed flicker crossed her face. I smiled slightly to myself as I realised I must have finally begun to irritate her. I knew I wasn't being very welcoming, or friendly, but how could I be with a girl who had everyone hypnotized into thinking she was better than what she really was. I mean the girl smiled like a sunbeam over the slightest thing, it was unnerving. Who did she think she was parading in here and thinking she could just take the town by storm.

The farmer crossed her arms defiantly, she stuck out her chin, and she looked like she was about to say something. I was just preparing myself for her retort when, the newly named cow, Belle gave out a loud happy "Moo!"

I watched the farmers face falter as she hesitated. Her eyes held mine for a few seconds, she seemed to think better of whatever she was planning to say as she turned her attention back to the cow. It seemed she was easily distracted. You could physically see her turn to goo as she began to affectionately stroke the cow again. While she was doing this I delightedly heard her say "I guess you like your new name then Belle." With that I saw the cow happily sway her tail as she gave out a soft contented "Moo."

I observed the farmer as she carried on petting the cow. I curiously began to wonder why she had trusted the farmer so easily when she had always been so averse to strangers previously. What was is it about the farmer that made her so affectionately contended towards her already? Was there something she could see about the farmer that I couldn't? Some hidden feature that I had missed in our short encounter.

As if sensing my gaze on her the farmer turned back to look at me with a curious look in her eyes. My gaze flickered between the farmer and the cow as I explained "This one doesn't normally trust people. I had a hard time bringing her here. I think she's quite fond of you."

At this information the farmer smiled slightly to herself as though she were proud she had earned the cow's trust so easily. As I continued to curiously look between them I remembered a very important detail. I snapped my head up, stood up straight, as I looked the farmer in the eyes and asked "Wait, do you even know how to take care of lifestock?"

At my seriousness the farmer merely giggled as she looked at my worried expression. I could feel my irritation growing even further as I thought she were laughing over something as significant as this, knowing my luck she was a complete novice and I would have to take the time to explain everything to her. The farmer continued to giggle as she replied "I do. My farther was an excellent farmer and he taught me everything he knows about farming and livestock. You don't have to worry."

I felt my posture relax, and I gave out a sigh of relief, at her words. I indicated a ring of truth in her words that showed she was not lying when she said she knew how to properly take care of livestock. I felt a small pressure lifted of my shoulders as I thought I wouldn't be leaving the cow in the hand's of a complete beginner. I expressed my relief to the farmer as I said "Good. In that case, your good to go! If you have any doubts you can come and find me."

As the words slipped out my mouth I inwardly groaned to myself as I realised that I had just voluntarily offered to help the farmer whenever she needed it. I knew I needed to offer my future assistance, for the sake of the cow, being the only Animal Dealer in town. However, the prospect of seeing the farmer more than I necessarily had to did not come as a welcome thought to me.

I could see the farmer appreciatively smiling at me as she gratefully replied "I will, thankyou!"

I scowled at the farmer's words, the last thing I wanted was her gratitude. I offered my help for the cow's sake not hers. I could feel myself getting worked up. Usually strangers annoyed me but I could deal with it when I had to. There seemed to be something about the farmer that turned that annoyance into blatant ever increasing irritation instead. With a quick nod to the farmer I hastily turned on my heel and made my way back towards the entrance of the farm. I couldn't stand an encounter with the farmer a minute longer than what was necessary. I could feel my emotions getting unusually worked up out my control and I didn't like it. Normally I could keep a calm cool exterior with someone who annoyed me but not with her for some reason. I knew what I was doing was extremely rude but I knew it was for the best.

As I was making my hasty retreat from the farm I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to tell the farmer about my Animal Store. I groaned internally as I knew that I had no other choice but to stop in my tracks and turn around. I knew she was standing exactly where I had last seen her as I could feel her shocked eyes boring into my back, I couldn't blame her for staring really.

I turned back towards the farmer with a scowl as though I could channel all my irritation towards her through my expression. I knew it was ridiculous to treat the farmer in such a way, it wasn't her fault I had forgotten, but I couldn't help it just the same. As I continued to glare icily at the shocked farmer I said "I forgot to tell you about my Animal Shore. It's open from Monday to Thursday, from 10AM to 6PM, on the town plaza."

Not waiting to hear the farmer's response I want onto hastily add "We're closed on rainy days, keep that in mind!"

I turned on my heels once more as I hastily made my way back into town, I could feel her eyes gawking at my back again as I did so. As I made my way out of the farmer's view I changed my brisk pace, to a slow walk, as I made my way back home. As I was walking across town a mental image of the farmer cropped up in my mind. That sunbeam smile of hers was so bright and dazzling that it was unnatural. I couldn't help but to try to fathom how a person could be so happy and ignorantly captivating. I ponderingly thought to myself "Was that why she irritated me so much?"

As I reached the front door to my small home I put thoughts of the farmer out of my mind, not wanting them to interfere with the rest of the work I had lined up for that morning. A small part of me, however, couldn't help but to anticipate when my next encounter with her would be. As much as the new farmer annoyed me I wanted to find out if there were any other deeper characteristics hidden underneath her sunny exterior, the ones that had made Belle trust her so easily or the ones that had made the rest of the villagers fall at her feet.


	6. The carpenter comes to town

I suddenly sat bolt upright as I heard a strange distant sound coming from somewhere behind me. I gasped loudly as I began to come back to my senses. My eyes stung from the sudden outburst of bright light as they darted around the room, trying to make sense of my surroundings. I let out a small sigh of relief as I realized that I was just at home and had involuntarily fallen asleep on the sofa.

I began to relax and my breathing slowed as I surveyed the room again, trying to find the source of the noise that had woken me. The noise rang out again and my head snapped towards the door, I drowsily realized a moment later that the sound was someone knocking on the door. I slowly dragged myself up off the sofa and commenced to stretch myself out, entwining my fingers together and lifting them high above my head while reaching up on my tip-toes. I started to make my way towards the door on unsteady legs, sleeping on the sofa always gave me painful pins and needles, when I reached the door I opened it in one swift movement.

On the other side of the door stood Dunhill. His eyes raked over my disheveled hair, tired eyes and crinkled clothes. His lips turned up into a teasing smile as he mockingly said "I hope I didn't disturb your slumber Sleeping Beauty."

I casually rolled my eyes at the old man's antics, he could never give up the opportunity to tease me, I thought he was starting to lose his marbles in his old age.

Playing along with Dunhill's antics I dismissively waved my hand as I replied "No, not at all. I was getting tired of waiting for a prince to come and kiss me awake anyway."

Dunhill started to chortle, his eyes creasing at the corners the way they always did when he laughed. However, he then took on a more serious expression. His brow creased as he stated "Your working yourself too hard, this is the third time someone's found you asleep this week!"

I folded my arms defiantly as I prepared to defend myself. "They were power naps." I challengingly replied. I raised my eyes as I continued to state "And besides who couldn't help but to fall asleep in a haystack, have you ever noticed how comfy they are?"

Talking about the matter brought the memory of the other day flooding back to my mind:

I had just finished taking care of Belle, after I had finished those mornings chores, when I had decided to take a short rest on one of the barn's haystacks. I had immediately fallen asleep on the soft straw, succumbed from exhaustion. I had been working myself to the bone trying to build a successful farm, that was on top of trying to think of ways to bring the town back from destitution. Later I had been startled awake by the sound of heavy stomping combat boots making their way towards me. I had wearily opened my eyes to find a very angry faced Neil towering over me. He then went on to strictly lecture me about how I shouldn't be falling asleep when I was meant to be taking care of Belle, this pulled out an angry retaliation of my own and I began to shout at him about how he could accuse me of such a thing. In fact it had turned out he had come over to check out how well Belle was settling into her new home, I would have found that sweet if he hadn't been so infuriating! After we had both stopped arguing, neither willing to admit the other was wrong, we had commenced to glare at each other. If there's one positive thing I can say about Neil it's that he is, hands down, the complete master of glaring. I couldn't look into the intensity of those hard cold amethyst eyes for long before I had to look away. Neil then proceeded to storm away with a scowl that would have sent a lion backing down. At the memory I could feel myself starting to get angry about it again as my eyes unconsciously narrowed and my hands balled into fists.

As I was coming back to the present I noticed that Dunhill was starting to speak to me again as he said "What would your farther say if he found out I was letting you work yourself to exhaustion?"

Dunhill hadn't seemed to noticed my reverie or my sudden outwardly feelings of anger. Instead all traces of Dunhill's former humour were gone as he looked at me with a disproving frown and concern in his storm grey eyes. As I realised what he had said I threw my arms up in exasperation as I wailed "Oh, come on, Dunhill. Don't play that card!" I reminded myself of a whining child.

In response to my dramatics Dunhill firmly crossed his arms and opened his mouth to argue with me further. Before he could get the chance I went on to hastily say "I'm only doing it for the town. I'll promise to take it easier from now on."

Dunhill then suddenly dropped his arms and his expression morphed into one that had just remembered something important, he slapped his hand to his head as he said "Oh, that's right! That's what I came over here to tell you, a new resident wants to move to town."

It took a moment for his words to sink in but when they did I clasped my hands together in glee and I couldn't keep the huge grin off my face, I had been waiting to hear this good news. I looked at Dunhill and happily squealed "Wow, that's great!"

As If my smile were tangible Dunhill's mouth broke into an excited grin of his own as he replied "I know, I wanted you to come and meet them." Then Dunhill's grin suddenly vanished, his brow creased as he continued to say "Actually there's been a problem that I wanted your help with."

I began to step out of the house when Dunhill blocked my path. "We'll continue our previous conversation later." He sternly stated. I crossed my arms sulkily and pouted, Dunhill was the stern father and the wacky funny uncle all in one. I just hoped he would forget later. With that Dunhill only rolled his eyes and beckoned me to follow him. We both started to hastily walk towards the town while I was left thinking what on Earth the problem could be...

Dunhill had led me over to the wide open town plaza, on the higher level of the town, where the rest of the town's residents had gathered together in a small huddle. It had turned out that a woman and her young son wanted to move to town after hearing about it from a certain innkeeper named Hossan. The woman was looking for a new start, in a small town, with her son. I could just see them now standing off to the side of the plaza, a little way away from everyone else. The woman was curvy and voluptuous. She was beautiful with her honey coloured skin and raven black wavy hair, which was tied back with a patterned light green and orange bandanna. I could have glared at her as her beauty made me feel insecure about my own. Standing beside her was her son who looked very sweet and innocent, I could have gone over there and pinched his cheeks. However, underneath the surface I could just about make out a troublesome flicker in his eyes and the trace of a devilish smile. He reminded me of the kind of kid that looked like butter wouldn't melt but was secretly planning to put an insect down your back as soon as it was turned. The boy looked a lot like his mother with his dark locks, that were hidden underneath a stripped green hat, and large electric blue eyes.I later discovered that her name was Rebecca while her son was called Toni.

Dunhill had gathered all the townsfolk together as he had explained that there was nowhere for the new residents to move into as Iroha had occupied the last available house. It had turned into quite the conundrum as no one wanted the new residents to have to leave after the village had finally began to entice more of them. It was Rebecca, in the end, that came up with the solution to her own problem. It turned out that Rebecca was a very skillful experienced carpenter whom just happened to have the blueprints to build her own house. The only issue was that we needed the materials to build such a house. Finally it was decided that the villagers would split into groups to gather the necessary materials to built it. The first team of Dunhill, Hana and Emma would search the upper part of the forest. The second team of myself, Iroha and Neil would search through the lower part. Rebecca would instruct both teams on how to gather the materials and where to put them. With that the townsfolk separated into their designated teams and departed to their allocated gathering positions.

As I walked alongside Iroha, towards the east entrance to the forest, I looked at Neil who was making his way there well in front of us. I could feel myself getting heated as I thought that I had to have the rotten luck to be forced to work alongside Neil all afternoon, of all people. My arms clenched into fists at my sides and my eyes bored into his back as I tried to mentally will him to go away. Iroha, noticing my annoyed expression, touched my arm lightly as she gently asked "You're still not getting along with Neil are you?"

I let out a sigh, I felt my body loosen at her calming touch and voice. I couldn't deny her observation, on my rare encounters with Neil I had only managed to get into some heated argument or another with him. For example, only the other day I had crossed Neil's path, whilst walking through the village, and I had clumsily tripped and fell into him. Neil had managed to catch and steady me but not before our heads had banged painfully together. Before I could apologize Neil began to belittle me about how I should be more careful and watch where I was going. Of course then I had to retort back by telling him he didn't have to be such a rude jerk all the time. By the time we had both stormed off I had retorted that I felt sorry for Neil's animals that they were stuck with such a grouch like him. Neil had then retorted that I could never manage to be a good farmer as empty-headed and clumsy as I was. That had been our worst argument yet and we hadn't spoken to each other since. It seemed in that occurrence we had both gone too far and stepped over an invisible line.

Iroha took my silence as a confirmation to her question as she said "You really need to learn to get on with him, there's no room for any kind of hostility in a town this small."

By this time we had reached the entrance to the forest and had stopped just short of it, I had already seen Neil go in. I let out a small sigh and hung my head in defeat as I replied "I know but I don't have the first clue how, we're just so different..."

It was true that I needed to work to get along with Neil, or at least to be civil to him, for the sake of our own peace and the towns. There was also mentioning the fact that I needed to have regular interactions with Neil as he was the owner of the only animal stall in town. I didn't know what it was about him but he got on my nerves the way no-one else ever had, I could normally ignore a person if they annoyed me. Maybe it was that attitude of his, the one that made him appear on another level than everyone else, one that you couldn't reach. Maybe it was the fact that he always seemed so angry at the world, I can't remember seeing Neil smile once since I had met him. He just seemed to radiate a constant aura of hostility and resentment.

Iroha gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as she said "Just try talking to him and I'll bet you'll be surprised by how far that can go, sometimes different isn't always bad."

I sighed and shook my head in acceptance as we entered the forest. What I had learned about Iroha was that she gave good advice that was normally right but hard to hear. As we walked further into the forest I could see Neil gathering stones and branches, close to the Goddesses Pond on the hill, as he worked on putting them into piles beside him. Iroha raised her eyes at me in a silent push, she moved off to start to gather materials at the other end of the forest by the river. With a heavy sigh and a sinking feeling in my chest I made my way over towards where Neil was situated.

I didn't speak to him at first, I only started to gather my own materials not too far away from him. If Neil noticed my close presence he didn't acknowledge me in any way. I tried to avoid looking in his direction as I mentally worked up the courage to try and start talking to him. Preoccupied my hand thoughtlessly reached towards a small stone I had wanted to collect but instead of my hand touching hard stone it touched something else entirely, something warm and soft. I looked up in surprise as I realized that I had in fact touched the back of Neil's hand, which had reached for the stone at the same time as mine had. I hadn't realized that we had gotten so close to one another. We both began to blush a shade of deep scarlet as we awkwardly looked at each other and snatched our hands away. Neil's eyes quickly turned away from my own, in embarrassment, as he began to turn away. However, before he could go I reached out to softly touch his arm as I said "Neil, wait. I wanted to talk to you."

Neil flinched at my touch and I instantly dropped my arm. He turned back to face me with narrowed eyes, the trace of a blush could still be seen on his cheeks, as he scowled "What? Can't you see I'm busy?"

I averted my eyes to the ground. I couldn't speak to him while looking into his eyes, if I looked into those eyes I knew I'd loose all my nerve. Not letting myself get discouraged I tentatively said to him "Please, it will only take a minute."

Neil was silent for a long moment, it seemed as if he were contemplating if he really did want to stop to talk to me. I couldn't help it, I had to look back up at him to gauge his reaction. My eyes flickered back up and immediately met his amethyst ones, they looked back at mine with a mixture of curiosity and distrust. His eyes held mine for a few moments. I couldn't have looked away even if I had wanted to, they seemed to trap me there. Whatever Neil saw I think it was enough to convince him that I wasn't trying to trick or deceive him. His hard expression settled into a blank slate, his eyes flickered away from mine, as he gave a sharp curt "Fine."

Now that his eyes had released mine I cast them back towards the ground again. I began to twirl my hair around my index finger, the way I always did when I was nervous, as I shyly began to explain "I know we haven't really gotten along at all. I'm sorry, for all of the arguments we've had and the mean things that I've said. I was hoping we could put all of that behind us and at least work to get along. If only for the sake of the town."

I squeezed my eyes shut certain he would shoot me down and say that was never going to be possible. I waited a long time for him to reply. Eventually he gave a defeated sigh and bluntly answered "Fine." After a few more moments he scowled "Just stay out of my way."

My eyes flickered up to him in surprise but he had already began to move away to gather more materials. I don't know what I had been expecting when he surprisingly agreed with me, however, I would have expected an apology in return to. Though it was Neil, he didn't seem to do apologies and I had a feeling that was the best I was going to get. At least we had finally agreed on something.

In the end everyone ended up putting all the materials, that they had collected, into the middle of the town plaza. We stood there in a loose circle, admiring our handywork, as we decided what was to be done next. It was agreed that Rebecca would begin to build her house. Iroha would lend her equipment and expertise. Neil and Dunhill offered their combined strength. I offered to lend them my carpentry skills as the other two women departed back home, exhausted from the afternoons hard work. I was glad, I thought little old Hana might have put her back out. Emma had kindly offered to watch little Toni as we worked, he was easily encouraged with the promise of sweets and a chocolate milkshake. I just hoped he didn't get into any mischief.

We began to build Rebecca's house, next to Neil's, in the main part of town. Neil kindly offered to lend his horse and cart to carry back and forth the materials. This surprised me as I would have thought he was incapable of offering to do such a kind deed, then a small voice in the back of my mind said "Maybe he's not as bad as you thought." I shook my head to dispel that thought, stubborn enough to not even admit I might be wrong to myself.

The soft glow of the spring afternoon quickly gave way to the pitch blackness of night as we continued to work on Rebecca's house. One by one the others had dwindled back to their homes, leaving me and Rebecca to finish the work on our own. Piece by piece we slowly but swiftly worked until I shockingly noticed the surfacing of the bright sun on the horizon, we had worked all night.

I stood their in awe as I looked up at the completed house, I couldn't believe that we had built an entire house in one night. A whole house: foundation, brickwork, windows, doors, the whole works. After we had finally finished and cleaned up, after what had seemed like an eon of never-ending hard work, Rebecca had thanked me before leaving to fetch Toni. I stood rooted to the spot, staring proudly at the house, amazed by what we had achieved. I couldn't help but to admire Rebecca's skill and craftsmanship. I was filled with a sense of happiness as I realised our new residents got to stay after all. However, I then began to sway on the spot as complete exhaustion raked through my entire body.

Somehow I managed to make it back to my farmhouse without falling flat on my face from exhaustion. I heaved myself across the room and collapsed face first onto my soft bed. I hadn't long fell into sweet blissful unconsciousness when I heard a loud buzzing sound, shattering the air above my head. My eyes snapped open, I unwillingly turned my head to discover that the source of the ear shattering noise was my red alarm clock. With a loud angry groan I smashed my fist against the alarm clock, to stop it blaring, as it read 6AM. I collapsed my head back onto the pillow as I began to prepare myself to get along with that days work...


	7. The black heart event

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> I have tried to fit a lot into this chapter again, it's quite descriptive :/. The Rachael and Neil part of this chapter is later on, you can just skip through it really if you want. I hope you enjoy reading the continuation of the story! :)

I happily soaked in the midday warm Spring sun as I slowly made my way across town to the town plaza. As the Spring was drawing to a close a layer of heat and humidity could be felt in the air, indication that Summer was quickly on it's way. I couldn't keep the excited grin off my face as I kept on thinking about the reason why I was going to visit Neil's Animal Store. Not long after Rebecca had moved to town she had opened up a carpentry shop, on the first floor of her home. I hadn't hesitated in rushing over there, as soon as I had heard, snagging up all the blueprints I could afford to get my greedy hands on. This had led to me buying a chicken coop blueprint which I had just managed to complete the other day. I was practically skipping to Neil's store as I happily thought about the new chicken that I would be taking home in just a short while, I loved Belle but I thought it was about time that I started to expand my livestock. I no longer dreaded my visits to Neil's store. Ever since that night, when we both had worked side by side to gather materials for Rebecca's house, we had reached a mutual understanding towards each other. We weren't exactly on the best of terms, it was strictly business most of the time, but we no longer clashed every time we saw each other.

As I made my way through town I couldn't help but to grin as I felt myself swell with pride, the reason for this being I had not long completed the town's first restoration plan! A few days after I had finished building Rebecca's house Dunhill had almost tore my front door from it's hinges as he burst into the house. He had stood there carrying an armful of papers and was that excited he was practically delirious from giddiness. Dunhill had not hesitated into launching into, what had seemed like, an expertly practiced explanatory speech about restoration plans while he threw various bundled up pieces of paper at my head. It had turned out that Dunhill had created five restoration plans, as he had said, to "Restore this town to it's former glory!" The only snag was that he expected me to almost single-handedly complete these restoration plans on my own. Dunhill had stated that after he had seen the work and dedication I had put into building Rebecca's house that I would have no problem in completing them.

As much as I had wanted to help the town restoration plans seemed like a lot of work on top of trying to already run a successful farm, that wasn't to mention the time and the cost either. However, Dunhill had had that hopeful look in his eyes that had just seemed to light him up. I couldn't refuse him just as much as I couldn't kick a helpless puppy in the side. Sometimes I could kick myself for how much of a sucker for guilt trips I had become, just like I couldn't refuse my father when he asked me to take over the family farm. I had thought to myself that that had not turned out to be so bad so maybe this wouldn't either.

As I looked around I could see that just by completing the first restoration plan the town was looking so much better already. There were street lights, benches, more roads, some potted flowerbeds and even bushes. It was only a small change but it seemed to bring back a small glow to the town that wasn't there before, made it seem a little less desolate than what it had been. However, it seemed the restoration plans were just going to keep on getting harder. Dunhill had dropped off the second plan only yesterday, it seemed like there was no rest for the wicked, and it involved building more houses. If I didn't have Rebecca's blueprints and Iroha's blacksmith skills to rely on the new residents, that Dunhill was going out to find, would be moving into shacks instead. It was a labor of love though, it was like I was restoring a dead flower back to it's former beautiful bloom. It was just a shame it was so darned hard...

As I thought about the town restoration plans I sighed as the feeling of insurmountable pressure, that accompanied it, came flooding back to. As I reached the plaza I looked out for Neil's usual scowling face behind his stall. To be honest if he wasn't into such a necessary business as animal dealing I bet he wouldn't get a single customer at all. As I continued to stroll over to Neil's store I stopped dead in my tracks as I realized that he wasn't there. I knew that he couldn't have gone far as he had left his animals out in the pen next to his store, Neil would never wonder off and leave them alone. I made my over to his stall as I thought that he must just be hiding behind it, out of view. However, as I looked over the back of his stall I found nothing there. I could feel the beginnings of panic starting to stir in my chest, I tried to ignore it as I thought that Neil must be around here somewhere. After wandering around the plaza, calling his name, asking nearby people if they had seen him, and even resorting to chiming the bell loudly on the desk, I had been forced to come to the conclusion that Neil was nowhere in the vicinity.

As that conclusion hit the stirrings of panic, that I had first felt nibbling in my chest, blew up into a whirlwind of worry, fear and anxiety that threatened to become overwhelming. I took deep breaths as I tried to force myself to calm down and think logically, there had to be a reasonable harmless explanation as to why Neil wasn't at his stall. After I had quickly checked that all of Neil's animals were okay I proceeded to run over to his house to make sure that he was there first, while I was running I tried to convince myself that it was highly unlikely that he had been kidnapped or abducted by invisible aliens. Hey, I wasn't the guy's biggest fan but that didn't mean that I was okay when he mysteriously disappeared.

As I came within close proximity of Neil's house I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard loud angry voices coming from within it. I blew a sigh of relief as I realized that one of the voices belonged to Neil, I'd heard his angry voice that many times there was no mistaking it. At least now I knew where he was. As I stood there my short relief turned to concern as I heard the voices inside the house rise in volume; though I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. I crossed my arms and bit my bottom lip as I contemplated, with a furrowed brow, whether I should go inside or not to see what was going on. I knew It was none of my business, and I knew that Neil was quite capable of taking care of himself, but I couldn't just make myself walk away nonetheless. Sure, Neil was a grouch but he would never be shouting at someone the way he was unless he felt completely justified about it. Filled with worry I decided to go on my better judgement as I hesitatingly made my way over to Neil's front door. I tentatively made my way through the door, into Neil's home, as I found it unlocked.

As I stood in the entryway my eyes quickly racked over the scene that I could see in front of me. Neil was stood at the far end of his house with his hands clenched that tightly I could see that his knuckles were white, his face was flushed with anger and his expression just screamed pure vexation. Then there were his eyes, his eyes were glaring with such a deep burning intense of rage that I couldn't look into them for to long. I thought that I had seen Neil angry before but this was on a whole other level. Neil was arguing with another man, all I could see was the back of his head and his short cropped black hair. I didn't recognize him from town and that was easy considering how few people still lived here. From what I could see the man appeared to be very angry to, his arms where crossed and his shoulder blades were full of tension. Though how angry he seemed to be he couldn't hold a flame to Neil, no matter how hard he may be trying, I didn't know how he could stand there and look at him. It seemed as though the two bickering men had not noticed my arrival in the heat of their disagreement. Not wanting to just jump the gun, without knowing what was going on, I decided to just wait there quietly while I tried to analyze the situation.

"Like I said, it was a mistake to sell it to you!" Neil ferociously screamed at the man as he clenched his fists, if possibly, even tighter than they already were.

The other man pointed a single chubby finger at Neil as he infuriatingly retorted "Hah! Some shopkeeper you are! I'll never buy animals from you again!"

Neil stubbornly crossed his arms as he defiantly replied "That's fine by me. I'll never sell animals to someone like you again!"

The other man threw up his arms in exasperation as he frustratedly said " Gah... what a waste of time this was."

With his fists clenched at his sides the man turned on his heel and started to make his way towards the front door, towards me. The man didn't see me, blind-sighted by his anger, until he was only a few feet away from me. When the man did see me, however, he flinched back with surprise. The man wasn't startled for long and he soon regained his composure. The man glared at me as though he were angry with me just for breathing. The man had a very unpleasant looking face, with beady eyes and a large nose, that was scrunched up with his anger. The man knocked me out of the way as he said "Hey, out of my way! I'm leaving!"

The man had knocked me so hard that I had lost my balance and fallen ungraciously onto the solid wooden floor, landing on my bottom. The man didn't stop, or seem to notice, and not a moment later I heard the front door slam loudly behind him. I turned my head towards the closed door and glared at it, hoping that somehow it would reach the retreating man on the other side. I snapped my head back around as I heard loud booted footsteps quickly making their way towards me. I looked up to see Neil approaching me, he stopped a few feet. From my position on the floor Neil looked even more tall and daunting than he usually did. He crossed his arms, furrowed his brow, and glared down at me as he angrily asked "What are you doing here? What do you want? That had nothing to do with you!"

The way Neil had just reacted would normally have brought out an angry retort from me, however, it only seemed to crack a little something inside of me instead. I had only been worried about him and the Jerk was angry with me, besides I'd just been knocked over. I felt moisture begin to well up in my eyes and my lower lip began to tremble. I cast my eyes down towards the wooden floor, I crossed my arms defiantly, and I set my lips into a stubborn pout. I refused to cry by letting the moisture spill out over my eyes. This was different from the other times I had been angry at Neil, this time I had actually been worried about his welfare and he had thrown it back in my face. I sat there, awkwardly on the floor, in the position that I had fell in. I felt oddly vulnerable like I was a child that had just been told off by their parents and I had fallen rather hard. I just sat there, staring at the floor, not knowing what else to do. I refused to look at Neil, not daring to do anything else out of fear of embarrassing myself further in front of him.

After a while I heard Neil sigh and I automatically looked back up to him from the noise. Neil didn't look angry anymore, though his arms were still crossed. Instead his expression had rather softened, unchecked worry was dancing in his eyes as he looked down at me. I thought he looked rather uncomfortable. As I continued to look at him he pointedly said "Don't make that face! You're acting like I was picking on you."

At Neil's comment I just glared at him with all the venom I could muster in that moment, my vision was blurred from the unshed moisture in my eyes. Neil just sighed again, he held up his hands as he said "Okay! Okay, I'm sorry!"

When I didn't say anything back Neil just continued to look at my disheveled figure on the floor, he finally looked away and held out his left hand to me with a scowl. For a few moments I just glared at his outstretched hand, like it were a poisonous snake, before I reluctantly caved and reached out to take it. Neil's fingers closed around my own as he helped me up. His hand was rough and calloused, there from the strenuous labor he endured while working with livestock. However, it was also warm and surprisingly gentle. Neil's fingers released mine as soon as I was steadily back on my feet. I winced as I rubbed my behind tentatively, I could tell I was going to feel sore from this in the morning. I could feel Neil observing me as he gruffly asked "Are you okay?"

I let my hands fall to my sides as I looked back at Neil. I could see the concern that was prominent in his eyes, he was trying not to show it too much. Concern looked strange on Neil's face, like he didn't really know how to portray it properly. I could feel my frustration and hurt start to ebb away now that I could see that he regretted shouting at me and was at least trying to be nice. I gave a short reassuring nod as I simply replied "I'm fine."

Neil's hands balled into fists, and a flicker of anger replaced the concern in his eyes, as he quietly said "He shouldn't have pushed you."

Now that Neil had mentioned the man curiosity and anxiety came flooding back to my mind, making me forget about the increasing throbbing pain I could feel coming from the spot that I had landed on. The urge to know what was going on won out over the fear of risking the chance of Neil biting my head of again as I asked "What was going on anyway? Nothing too serious I hope."

I stood there patiently waiting for Neil to answer as he looked undecidedly back at me. After a few minutes, when he could see that I wasn't going to relent, he sighed and shook his head as he stated "Your'e not going to leave me alone until I tell you, are you?"

I felt the side of my mouth curve up into a small smile as I crossed my arms. I slowly shook my head as I said "Nope."

Neil sighed again and closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, between his thumb and index finger, as he exasperatedly said "Fine, if it's the only way to make you leave."

Once Neil had opened his eyes I expectedly looked at him; waiting for him to start. Neil seemed to delay starting to speak probably hoping I would say that It was fine and he wouldn't have to, however, there was no way I was going to let him worm off the hook that easily. To prompt Neil further I cocked my head to the side and raised my eyebrows as an indication for him to start. In response Neil only dramatically rolled his eyes as he scowled "Fine!"

Neil stood up straight and crossed his arms, his brow furrowed as though he were remembering something unpleasant. Finally he went onto say "That guy with the bad attitude who was in here before is a customer of mine. He came to complain about a cow I sold to him."

Once Neil had finished speaking I waited, expecting him to say more. When he didn't I looked him straight in the eyes and asked "That not all, is it?" I thought that I would have to drag the rest of the information out of Neil, Instead he looked into my eyes for a long time. I looked back no matter how hard it was for me to look into those amethyst eyes, however, for once they didn't look cold or hard or angry. No, instead they looked softer and more vulnerable than I had ever seen them before. Those eyes looked into mine as though they were deciding something as though they were searching for something. I smiled softly at Neil and tried to form my features into one that looked caring, one that would show him that he could trust me and tell me. Whatever the expression on my face it seemed to have worked because Neil looked convinced on what he had been searching for.

Neil looked away from me, and turned his eyes towards the floor, as he continued on with his story in a quiet voice. "It seems the cow I sold him got sick. He seems to think that I sold him a sickly cow on purpose. I asked him how he's been looking after the cow, and it turns out he's been treating it really badly. So it quickly descended into a fight."

Once Neil had finished his explanation he looked back up at me and I could see the mix of anger and sadness in his eyes. He seemed to be waiting for my reaction, for some some sort of acknowledgement or agreement. However, all I could think about was the cow that he had mentioned. I could feel the worried look on my face as I quickly asked Neil "But what about the sick cow?" I could hear that every word of my question had been dipped in the worry and anxiety I was ever increasingly starting to feel.

Neil furrowed his brow, he looked confused about the question that I had just asked him, as he said "Huh? What was that?" I didn't need to reply as not a moment later Neil slapped his hand to his forehead as he went on to say "Argh, you're right! I need to give some medicine to the poor thing or it'll be done for! How could I have overlooked that?"

Neil looked up and his eyes darted around the room in panic, he seemed to be desperately trying to think about what to do next. His eyes landed on his closed front door, he nodded to himself as though he had consciously agreed on something. Neil quickly ran toward the door and called behind his shoulder "If I run, I can still make it!" I watched Neil with surprised eyes as he dashed towards his front door, flung it open and ran out of it. I was left staring at the front door which was left swinging open on its hinges. Deciding that the best option was just to wait for Neil to come back I went to sit down at his small dining table, on one of the cushion padded wooden chairs. I ignored the pain that shot through me when I did.

I had decided that I could not take the strain of waiting any longer, I had nearly bitten all the skin off my bottom lip in worry. I had just thought that perhaps it was better for me to go looking for Neil when I heard heavy booted footsteps making their way towards the house. There was no mistaking that that was Neil and I snapped my head up towards the front door in anticipation. A few moments later Neil came slowly trudging back into the house. His breathing was heavy and his face was flushed with sweat, he looked like he had been running for a long way. I had immediately stood up from the dining chair as soon as I had seen Neil walk through the door.

With the sound of a chair scraping back Neil had startled a little as his eyes darted up towards me with alarm, when Neil saw that it was only me he relaxed. Neil's brow furrowed, he looked at me questioningly, as he stated "Oh, you're still here?"

I didn't have time for this, I was on my last nerve waiting to know what had happened. I didn't hesitate as I asked "What happened?" Neil looked at my anxious expression and attempted to give me a small reassuring one of his own. In fact I thought I could make out an air of relief that surrounded his sagged exhausted figure. A triumphant smile seemed to play around the corners of Neil's lips as he explained "I took some animal medicine to him, that's what happened. I also gave him advice on how to better look after the cow." Neil's brow creased then in thought as he went on to say "It might not make a difference but at least I tried."

I heard myself sigh then in relief, I hadn't noticed that I had been holding my breath. I felt the huge smile form on my face as I was filled with consolation. The cow would be okay for now and that was what mattered, all I could do was hope that the man would take Neil's advice and look after the cow better in future. Through my sense of relief I could feel a pair of eyes staring at me. I looked up to find Neil gazing at me curiously. As I looked at him I could feel the smile on my face grow even wider. I couldn't help it, I felt so relieved and I wanted to share that relief with Neil too. I probably looked like a Cheshire Cat. Neil looked at me and said "What're you smiling for, eh?"

I could tell Neil wasn't serious as he was smiling a little himself. I stared at him, I couldn't ever remember seeing Neil smile before. A smirk, a grin but not a smile. I couldn't help but think that I liked to see him smile, it seemed to light up his face a little and make him appear younger than what he was. It seemed like such a small secret shy smile that he kept to himself. I couldn't help but to study it as I didn't know when I would see it again.

Neil looked at me curiously, probably thinking why I was gawking at him. I averted my gaze embarrassed that I had been caught looking at him. I flickered my gaze back up to him when I heard him speaking to me again. Neil was looking at my mouth, a little concerned, as he softly said "Rachael, you lip is bleeding." It took me a few moments to contemplate what he had said as I looked at him with confusion, I tentatively raised my hand and touched my lips. I drew my hand away and was startled to find that the deep scarlet colour of blood stained my fingertips. Now that I was aware about it I could feel the coppery taste of blood in my mouth to. I must have bitten my bottom lip so much, out of worry, that I had broken the skin. I hadn't noticed before being so concerned and then so relieved. I looked up to see that Neil had half risen his hand towards my face, he looked like he wanted to do something.

When Neil saw that I was looking at him, he seemed to come out of some sort of reverie, he dropped his hand back to his side. Instead Neil reached into his amethyst coloured coat, it was almost the exact colour of his eyes, and pulled out a tissue. He handed it to me while I mumbled a "Thankyou." I put the tissue to my lip, pressing hard to stop the bleeding that I could feel gathering.

I looked back up at Neil who was staring down at his combat boots. I was just about to ask him what was wrong when he said "Th-thanks for today." He looked back up to me and I could see the sincerity in his eyes. I could see the trouble he was having trying to express himself, it didn't seem to come naturally to him. He looked at me thoughtfully as he went on to say "If you hadn't been here I don't think I'd have given that poor cow a second thought. I was so angry!"

I watched him continue to struggle. I had never seen this side of Neil before or maybe I had been too stubborn to notice it before, to stubborn to see that behind Neil's rough exterior there might actually be someone capable of being quite nice. I tried to smile reassuringly at Neil, from around the tissue bunched up at the corner of my mouth, as I muffled "What are friends for?"

Neil looked at me with surprise as though the word friend were a foreign concept to him. I pulled the tissue away from my mouth as I sighed and tentatively said "I would like to be friends with you Neil." I don't know what I had expected, probably for him to laugh at me or something. I looked back up at him and didn't see him grinning or snickering, instead he looked at me with a contemplative look in his eyes. As my eyes reached his he turned his gaze to the floor and stammered "Y-You've got work to do, right?"

Before I could answer Neil looked back up at me and scowled, I knew there was nothing behind it. Neil motioned with his head towards the door as he said "Go on, get out of here. I'm busy too, you know."

I smiled at him as I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Neil smiled back, with the smallest upturning of one side of his mouth, as he said "See you later." Not wanting to remove the tissue from my lips again, as the blood had started to flow more heavily, I just awkwardly waved to him with one hand as I made my over to the still open door.

I could feel Neil's eyes on my back as I started to retreat back through town, until I heard the noise of a door shutting behind me. I couldn't help but to smile, as much as I could, as I walked back towards my farm. I felt as though I had reached an understanding with Neil that I didn't expect I would. It seemed as though somehow I had seen a small chink in his thick armor or stripped back a small layer from his hard exterior. I felt a little guilty as I thought that I had misjudged Neil a little and not really given him a chance. I felt a little warm feeling in my chest when I realized that I was going to try to be Neil's friend, as much as a friend as he would let me be anyway. When I had first met Neil I thought that it was simply a case of what you see is what you get. Now I knew there was more to Neil that what I hard first thought, I was looking forward to seeing If I could unravel more of the mystery that he was. In fact I had forgotten why I had gone to Neil's animal store in the first place...


	8. The black heart event - Neil's P.O.V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> It took me so long to write this! However, here it is. Neil's side of the story. I hope you like it.

I stood slouched over my wooden stall desk, leaning forward on my elbows and tapping my fingernails on the hard grain wood. Business was slow. Slow as usual. From my viewpoint, on top of the town plaza, I could see quite far across the small town that stretched out below me. I scanned the town horizon looking for the blur of blue dungarees and blonde hair that was usually Rachael whizzing around town at this time. Normally she had been to see me by now. While I outwardly complained about Rachael disturbing me at work I had to admit that she added a sense of entertainment, wanted or not, to my dreary working days. The only customers I ever received were Rachael and the odd livestock owner that was passing through the area and needed some supplies. This meant that the stretch between customers was long and dull. There's only so many times a day that a guy can pretend to keep himself busy by tidying his stall or checking on his animals and supplies. I sighed to myself as I thought this was how the days were going to be until the town's economy picked back up again.

I scanned the town again looking for the blonde tornado. It was at that moment that I noticed a stranger approaching my stall. "A customer at last" I thought to myself. As he came closer towards my stall I surprisingly noticed that he looked angry, very angry. However, the flicker of surprise disappeared from my expression as soon as it had come. I kept on my regular poker face as the stranger came to stand in front of my stall, I pretended that I had not noticed his vexation. I looked the man in the eye as I asked "Neil's animal stall. What can I do for ya?"

As the man looked at me the term 'If looks could kill' came to mind. The man pointed a chubby accusing finger in my face as he bellowed "What can you do for me? You can tell me why you sold me a sick cow!"

As the last words left the man's lips I looked at him in disbelief. Every cow I ever sold was in perfect health and pristine condition. Clearly the man was mistaken and I didn't appreciate his attitude. Not letting my anger and irritation rise to the surface I calmly replied "You must be mistaken. I never ever sell a sick cow to anyone. Do you understand?"

The man continued to wave his finger in my face as he yelled "Oh, I understand perfectly allright. You sold me a sick cow and now you're trying to insult my intelligence by lying to my face."

That did it, I felt my anger spill over like lava spilling over the top of a volcano. As the man opened his mouth, to continue his tirade, I shoved his finger out of my face. I stood up straight so I loomed over the man in front of me. I let my features twist so they expressed the anger that I could feel bubbling up inside. I glared at the man, with a warning in my eyes, as I very quietly said "One, I do not stock or sell sick animals. Two, I do not care for your attitude. Three, you are mistaken. Four, I cannot insult your intelligence as you clearly had none to begin with. And five, you will leave now before I get really angry."

The man backed down as he saw my shadow wash over him, he seemed to understand that he had met his fair share of a match. I watched as the man seemed to fight an internal struggle as he tried to get his anger in check. The man clenched his fists at his sides as though he thought that it would help him to control his temper. He looked me in the eyes as he said in a carefully composed voice "I am not mistaken. You sold me a cow at the animal fair, local to here, at the beginning of the season."

It was true. I did attend the annual local animal fair, at the beginning of the season, a few towns over. As an animal dealer I couldn't afford not to attend. The gathering of so many animal dealers locally was an opportunity I couldn't miss. Those few weeks were a blur of viewing, trading and selling livestock. Business in town had been too slow for too long, I had to count on those events to help to keep my income up. As much as these events were opportunistic they were also extremely popular. Only a select number of animals dealers get a space to set up their stall at the fair. Due to this you had to prove that you were worthy of your spot. You either had to have the most rare of livestock or hit the target of how much you had to sell or trade. If you didn't your spot was given to someone else.

I always remember the face of an animal that I have sold, however, I do not always necessarily remember the faces of all the people that I have sold them to. Looking properly at the man now I could recall where I had met him before. I needed to sell one more animal to reach my deadline, to guarantee me a place at the fair next year, but time was running out. The man had been my last customer of the day. I had gotten the feeling from him straight away that he was the type of person who could fall into the trap of neglecting an animal when he had got one. Being in the business I had an instinct for these things. Many times people buy animals and they don't realize the consequences and responsibilities that go with them. People either can't handle the responsibility, they just don't realize, they get bored, they just want an animal for use or status, they just can't be bothered or they're just that cruel. Instinct was telling me not to sell the man a cow, however, I couldn't afford to lose my place at the animal fair. I thought that if I demonstrated how to care for the cow enough the man would get it and care for the animal properly. I even gave him my phone number for good grace.

A wave of guilt and regret washed through my body as I realized the grave mistake that I had made. My remorse gave away to rage and hatred as another fact dawned on me. I know I didn't sell the man a sick cow so the cow must have fallen ill under his care. As much as I wanted to take my grievances out on the man, physically preferably, I knew I had to find out more information about the ill cow. I looked at the man the same way a person may look down upon a cockroach. I placed my hands on the front of my stall and leaned down to glower at him. I spoke quietly, a suppressed threat in my voice, as I stated "I did not sell you a sick cow. Which means, by default, you haven't been caring for the animal properly or you've put it in the hands of someone who hasn't been."

The man didn't back down at my display of aggression this time. Instead my words seemed to have opened the lid on the vexation that he had been trying to contain. The man's face flushed red and he seemed to shake with his anger. The man started waving that chubby finger of his in my face again as he shouted "Now, you listen here young man! I will not be manipulated or lied to! I hold you responsible for the state of my cow. Therefore, you shall either refund it or replace it."

The man reminded me of an angry father shouting down to his misbehaving child. I could see that our encounter was beginning to attract attention and the loud voices were starting to freak out my livestock, in the wooden pen next to me. Knowing that I could not carry on our heated conversation further here I turned back to the man and civilly said "We can carry on this discussion, more privately, in my home. It's not too far from here."

The man seemed to catch onto my drift as he cast his beady eyes around the plaza; noticing the stares of the people nearby. The man seemed to think about my request for a moment. After one more look at the watching pedestrians he sighed in defeat as he begrudgingly said "Fine. Lead the way."

The man then stepped aside and motioned with his hand to do so. I hesitated for a second, not wanting to leave my animals unsupervised at the stall. However, I didn't see any other option. I had only checked on them a few minutes ago and it's not like anyone would attempt to steal them in this town. I didn't intend to be gone long anyway. With an inaudible sigh I went around my stall and started to lead the way back down-town to my house, after a few moments I heard the man following behind me…

I sighed in frustration. I had been arguing with my discontented customer for over an hour now and we had barely gotten anywhere. I had found out that the man had left the cow out all night in a rainstorm. However, the man refused to acknowledge this factor as the reason why his cow became ill. Instead of getting the cow animal medicine he'd decided to pass it off as my fault. I had been trying to make the man see sense, that he needed to get the cow animal medicine instead of arguing with me. However, it was like arguing with a brick wall. I'd buy the poor animal back myself if it didn't mean losing this weeks mortgage repayment.

The man's face was red, puffy and sweaty after the exertion of bellowing for the past hour. There was a pulsing vein, on the top of his forehead, that looked like it could burst at any moment. The man glared at me as he viciously spit "I'm surprised you have a business left at all. Do you treat all of your paying customers this way?"

I knew I shouldn't raise to the man's level. I knew I should try to attempt to reason with him again. However, knowing doesn't always mean doing. The last shred of my patience seemed to disintegrate. My knuckles were clenched so tightly they felt like they were going to tear through my skin. I glared down at the man as I ferociously retorted "Well like I said, it was a mistake to sell it to you!"

The man pointed his chubby index finger at me as he infuriatingly replied "Hah! Some shopkeeper you are! I'll never buy animals from you again!"

I could feel hot boiling blood coursing through my veins. I stubbornly crossed my arms, and jutted my chin out slightly, as I defiantly stated "That's fine by me. I'll never sell animals to someone like you again!"

The man glowered at me as though he were mentally trying to drive holes through my skull. He glowered some moments more and pursued his lips. The man seemed to think better of whatever he could say or do, he sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly. In the end he threw his arms up exasperatedly in the air as he wailed "Gah… What a waste of time this was."

The man then proceeded to turn on his heel, with clenched fists at his side, as he started to make his way towards the front door. A part of me knew that I should have stopped him, however, I was rooted to the spot with anger that felt like it could melt through the floorboards. I was knocked out of my brooding thoughts by a loud demanding voice that said "Hey, out of my way. I'm leaving!" The voice was followed by a sharp intake of breath, a small cry, and an "Omph" as something hit the ground hard.

I snapped my head up to source of the sound. I felt my eyes widen with surprise as my anger was momentarily replaced by disbelief. Rachael was slumped, in a heap on the floor, glaring daggers at the back of the retreating man. A few moments later I heard the door slam loudly behind him, I assumed that he was the reason that Rachael was on the floor. Rachael continued to glare at the door as though it could somehow still reach the man that had retreated out of it. A thought popped into my head, at that moment, that a glower like that looked so out of place on a face that normally looked so happy and sweet. That unexpected thought vanished after a second as another quickly replaced it, I didn't know how long Rachael had been here and how much she had heard. My unquenched anger quickly rose to the surface again as I stalked my way towards her.

Rachael snapped her head up at the sound of me making my way, across the room, towards her. When I was a few feet away I crossed my arms and glared down at her. She looked at me like she was a frightened bunny caught in the headlights of an ever-approaching car. I furrowed my brow as I waited a few moments for Rachael to speak, to explain herself. When she didn't I angrily asked "What are you doing here? What do you want? That had nothing to do with you!"

Rachael flinched back at the volume and tone of my voice. When I had finished speaking she looked up at me as though I had slapped her. Her expression was paused like that, for a few moments, before her face twisted with the hurt of my words. I watched as her lips began to tremble and moisture began to well up in the corners of her eyes. She then commenced to cast her eyes towards the ground as though she couldn't bear to look at me a moment longer.

I immediately knew that I shouldn't have shouted at Rachael the way that I did. I had acted without thinking under the influence of the clouding vexation I had fully felt just moments ago. I waited for Rachael to retaliate back to my inexcusable performance, for her to stand up and shout something back at me, for her to call me out and tell me I was being a Jerk. That's what she normally did when we had come to blows in the past. Instead she just continued to look at the floorboards. Her arms were crossed, her jaw was set and she had a stubborn pout on her face. She looked like she was fighting back tears. If I had learned one thing about Rachael it was that she hated to show weakness. That's why she refused any help on her farm or why she couldn't say no to any of Dunhill's extortionate Restoration plan ideas. It was one of the qualities about her that I had been forced to admit to myself that I admired, I reflected her own stubbornness to match the one of mine.

I sighed as I continued to look at Rachael's kicked puppy expression. The longer I looked at her the more my guilt grew, like a weight getting heavier on my chest. The feeling was foreign to me and I didn't like the conscious wracking emotion. At the sound of my sigh Rachael looked up at me. Her sapphire eyes betrayed the emotions that she had been trying so hard to conceal. The swirling mixed emotions of hurt, betrayal, stubbornness, and the tiniest hint of curiosity. At that moment I was pushed over the edge as I pointedly told Rachael "Don't make that face! You're acting like I was picking on you."

As the words left my mouth Rachael glared at me venomously, she looked like a sour grape. Despite myself, and the situation, I had to hold in a chuckle. The expression looked so out of place on Rachael's usually sweet smiling face, she reminded me of a kitten who thought she was a tiger. Instead of laughing, and making the situation worse, I just sighed again in frustration. Rachael wasn't going to make this easy and I was finding it harder to deal with her. I held up my hands as I said "Okay! Okay, I'm sorry!"

I know it wasn't a very eloquent apology, however, I was a little out of practice with apologizing. When Rachael still didn't acknowledge me I knew a bad apology wouldn't do and that I would have to do something more. I inwardly cursed her stubbornness. Deciding I had to do something uncharacteristically against my nature, to cut it, I looked away as I held out my hand to Rachael in a gentlemanly manner. From the corner of my eye I could see Rachael glaring suspiciously at my outstretched hand like it was a poisonous snake. I really hoped she would accept my unspoken offer of an apology because I really didn't know what else I could do otherwise. Just when I thought she wouldn't I felt a small hand place itself around mine. I couldn't help but to flinch a little at the contact. I let my hand close around hers. Her hand felt soft and smooth, something that you wouldn't expect from a woman who works hard physical labor on a farm all day. Her hand was like a smooth pebble that had not been damaged by the crushing waves of the eroding sea, a stark contrast to my own rough callused hands. Her hand felt so delicate, so small, like I could crush it with one squeeze. Instead I pulled her to her feet with a gentleness I didn't know that I possessed. As I did so I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through my arm at her light touch. An unwanted thought passed through my mind, one that couldn't help but to realize how well our hands fitted together.

As soon as Rachael was back steadily on her feet I immediately released her hand. I didn't like the feelings, or thoughts, her touch unexpectedly brought out in me. I expertly let a sense of numbness fill my mind and body, the way that I normally did when I didn't have my emotions under the control I wanted. As I continued to watch Rachael I saw her tentatively rub her behind in the spot that she had landed on, her features twisted a little in pain as she did so. I felt a starburst of worry spawn in my chest, despite my emotional lockdown, I had felt more concern for this girl in a few minutes than I normally did for a whole towns full of people in a week. Before I could stop I found myself voicing my inner concerns as I asked "Are you okay?"

Rachael only gave a short reassuring nod as she replied with a simple "I'm Fine." It seemed like she hadn't completely forgiven me for my outburst earlier, for some strange unknown reason that thought seemed to bother me. I felt a lick of anger then as I thought about the man pushing her to the ground. I could feel my hands ball up into fists at my sides as I quietly stated "He shouldn't have pushed you."

I would have expected Rachael to be angry, at the mention of the incident, instead her expression was clouded with a mixture of curiosity and anxiety. Rachael began to unconsciously bite her lip, she seemed to be deciding on whether to do something or not. In the end it seemed like curiosity had won as she looked up to ask me "What was going on anyway? Nothing too serious I hope."

Rachael seemed to phrase her words carefully, tried to ask in an off-hand casual conversational kind of way. Of course she wanted to know what had happened. I could see the curiosity dance in her eyes, though she was trying to hide it, as she waited there patiently for me to answer. I felt a strange urge to confide in her and tell her everything. I fought that instinct down, it went against my very strict policy of spilling my business to people I barely talked to. I thought that If I didn't respond to Rachael she would get the hint that I didn't want to talk about it and she would leave me alone. After a few moments I could see that it wasn't going to work, Rachael just carried on looking at me like a child waiting to hear a bedtime story. Finally I sighed and impatiently shook my head as I stated "You're not going to leave me alone until I tell you, are you?"

I watched as Rachael's mouth twisted up into a small mischievous smile as she crossed her arms. "Nope." she said popping the 'p'.

I sighed and closed my eyes as I felt a shot of annoyance pulse through me. I pinched the bridge of my nose, between my thumb and index finger, as I exasperatedly replied "Fine, if it's the only way to make you leave."

I slowly creaked my eyelids open to see Rachael watching me expectedly again. I let the seconds drag by, unwilling to start. However, after a few moments, Rachael cocked her head to one side and raised her eyebrows as a silent push for me to start. Seeing no way to squirm out of my predicament I dramatically rolled my eyes as I scowled "Fine!" in defeat.

I stood up straight and crossed my arms, I felt my brow furrow as I remembered the unpleasant exchange of just a short while ago. I took a deep breath as I began to explain "That guy with the bad attitude who was in here before was a customer of mine. He came to complain about a cow I sold to him."

I looked at Rachael as I finished my brief explanation, she stood there waiting to hear more. When she knew that I had no intention to say anything else she looked me in the eyes as she gently asked "That's not all, is it?"

I looked into Rachael's midnight blue eyes expecting to see them to be prying, instead they were only full of a deep concern. Her eyes seemed to penetrate straight through me to what I was hiding underneath. The longer I held her gaze the stronger the urge to tell her everything became. I could see that she wanted to help me, not to satisfy her own curiosity but to heal my own pain, anger and worry instead. Even after the way that I had treated her. Most people would have left by now, however, I was beginning to realize that Rachael didn't seem to be most people. Rachael's eyes seemed to quiver under the intensity of my own, however, she didn't look away. A small sweet caring smile caressed her soft features as she tried to silently encourage me to open up. I examined Rachael's eyes once more, looking for the slightest hint of untrustworthiness, when I found them only full of sincerity I knew that I couldn't keep myself from relenting anymore. I couldn't help but to cast my eyes towards the floor as I quietly continued to explain "It seems the cow I sold him got sick. He seems to think that I sold him a sickly cow on purpose. I asked him how he's been looking after the cow, and it turns out he's been treating it really badly. So it quickly descended into a fight."

Once I had finished explaining I hesitantly looked back up at Rachael to see her reaction. I felt oddly vulnerable about sharing my confession. I despised the feeling as a weakness, however, underneath that initial feeling it felt kind of nice and uplifting to. Rachael's expression was twisted in worry as she gnawed on her bottom lip. I could feel the first sprouts of worry start to blossom in my chest as I watched her eyes continue to gaze off thoughtfully at a spot next to my head. I had started to assume that her silence couldn't mean anything good, especially about me, when she cast her gaze back to me and uneasily asked "But what about the sick cow?"

I stared at Rachael stupidly for a few moments, not comprehending what she had said. At first I thought her words were odd as they were unexpected. I furrowed my brow in confusion as I asked "Huh. What was that?"

Not thirty seconds after I had asked the question it felt as if a light had come on in my head. I slapped my head, with realization, as I stated "Argh, you're right! I need to give some medicine to the poor thing or it will be done for! How could I overlook that?"

My eyes darted around the room in panic as I tried to think about what to do. My eyes landed on the front door as I mentally began to calculate my chances. The man may not have gone that far and I had a chance to catch up with him if I left now, I didn't want to think about what would happen to that poor cow if I didn't. I nodded to myself in agreement as I bolted to the front door and swung it open. I left the door swinging behind me as I called back over my shoulder "If I run, I can still make it." I vaguely recalled Rachael surprisingly staring after me as I dashed up the front path and out of sight…

I trudged up the front path to my house panting to breath in enough oxygen to satisfy my rapidly beating heart. I could feel the sweat seeping out of me as it clung to my clothes and matted my hair to my head. I could feel the fatigue from my aching muscles as I reached the front door and slumped against the frame to catch my breath. Despite my exhaustion I was filled with the elation of relief and triumph as I recalled what had happened…

After I had left the house I had dashed out of town and had luckily managed to catch up with my former dissatisfied customer. At first the man had completely ignored my presence, however, after my constant persistence he had been forced to acknowledge my existence. After threatening that I would not let the man alone until he accepted some animal medicine he begrudgingly did so. I then proceeded to tell the man again how to properly take care of a cow. I had then been forced to accept that that was all I could do at that moment in time and that I could only hope that my advice had not fallen on deaf ears.

As I entered the house I heard the noise of a chair scraping back and I snapped my head up in alarm. My alarm quickly turned into surprise and confusion, however, when I saw that it was only Rachael. I looked at her questioningly as I stated "Oh, you're still here?"

Rachael looked like she had been anxiously waiting to hear some news of a doctor when she unhesitatingly asked "What happened?"

Looking at her worried expression I realized that she had waited this whole time to hear the outcome of what had happened. I saw the emotions in her that I had felt not too long ago myself. Not wanting to be cruel, by causing Rachael to worry any longer than she already had, I gave her a small reassuring smile and explained "I took some animal medicine to him, that's what happened. I also gave him advice on how to better look after the cow." My relief seemed to fade a little then as I thought that my actions may not make that much of a difference in the long run. I could feel my brow crease as I continued on to voice my thoughts "It may not make a difference but at least I tried."

I came out of my thoughts as I heard a large sigh of relief come out of the girl in front of me. When I looked up I saw that Rachael had a huge grin on her face, the one that made her look like a sunbeam. Her happiness was evident from the glow of her smile to the shine in her eyes. I gazed at her curiously, I thought about how she had waited around so long just to hear the outcome of the cow's fate and was so genuinely happy when she did. I was trying to figure out why she would care so much to get herself involved in the hassle of another person's problems, a person she couldn't even speak properly to until a few weeks ago. When Rachael saw that I was looking at her she only smiled wider. I tried to question her selflessness but I couldn't. I tried to think of an ulterior motive she could have but I couldn't do that either. I don't think I had ever met someone quite like her before. As she continued to grin at me I couldn't help but to grin a little myself, it was contagious, as I asked her "What're you smiling for, eh?"

I couldn't guarantee the cow's future but I could feel the relief of the small victory I had achieved today. All I could do was keep an eye on the man but at least the cow would be better for now.

When I looked back up at Rachael I found that she had stopped smiling so much and was instead looking at me quite intently. After a moment, for some reason, she shyly cast her eyes to the ground. Before I could contemplate her sudden self-consciousness I noticed a small pool of deep scarlet forming at the corner of her lips. On a closer examination I noticed that her lip was bleeding, it looked like it had been gnawed to a stump. I brought it to her attention as I softly said "Rachael, your lip is bleeding."

Rachael looked at me puzzled before she raised her hand and tentatively touched her fingers to the corner of her mouth. She looked at her fingertips surprised when she pulled them back and found them stained with blood. I hadn't realized that I had self-consciously raised my hand partly towards her, wanting to wipe it away. I quickly shook the feeling, and dropped my hand back to my side, as she looked back at me. I took a tissue out of my coat pocket and handed it to her. She mumbled a "Thank you." She pressed it to her lips to try to stop the ever gathering pool of blood.

As I watched Rachael I felt a foreign feeling of gratitude surge through me, I thought if it hadn't been for her that today wouldn't have turned out the way it did. I knew that I should tell her but I didn't really know where to start. I looked down at floor as I mumbled "Th-thanks for today." I looked back up at Rachael as I continued to struggle "If you hadn't been there I don't think I'd have given that poor cow a second thought. I was so angry!"

Rachael's eyes turned soft as she tried to smile at me around the tissue that was still plastered to her mouth. "What are friends for?" she muffled.

I looked at her surprised then. I didn't know Rachael thought of me as her friend, I hadn't done anything to deserve such a title from her. However, it did explain her actions. I looked at her curiously. I thought we were acquaintances, contacts, associates but not friends. I tried to figure out what the term 'friends' meant when she sighed and said "I would like to be friends with you Neil."

I saw the uncertainty and vulnerability in her eyes, like she were scared of rejection. I hadn't noticed this side of Rachael before. Perhaps I hadn't taken the time to notice that she saw me more than just her animal dealer. I tasted the word 'friend', it felt strange and foreign. I thought if I wanted to be Rachael's friend and I found that I wasn't totally opposed to the idea, though 'friend' may have been a bit much. Not wanting to embarrass myself with an awkward display I only stammered "Y-you've got work to do, right?"

Before Rachael could reply I half-heartedly scowled "Go on, get out of here. I'm busy too, you know." I then nodded my head towards the front door.

Rachael smiled at me then as she rolled her eyes and shook her head. I couldn't help but to smile a little in return, just a small upturn of the corner of my mouth. A silent understanding passed between us as I said "See you later."

Rachael awkwardly waved to me, with on hand, as she passed. I watched her as she exited out the still open front door and down the front path. I then closed the door as I thought about how crazy this day had turned out. A voice at the back of my head was trying to tell me something, remind me of something. I swirled and gasped when I remembered that I had left my animals unsupervised at the stall. I shook my head as I ran out of the front door and closed it loudly behind me. For the rest of the day I couldn't seem to get the farmer out of my mind...


	9. The flower festival

The Flower Festival

Today was the flower festival. I had been preparing for this festival for the whole of the last week of Spring. I had watered each flower twice daily, saturated each one of them with growth health increasing manure, and watched over them like a mother bird to make sure that each flower was as beautiful as I could have possibly made it. I was glad to say that my hard labor had payed off. Every flower gleamed with bright rich colour, every petal felt as soft as silk and every one secreted an aroma like heaven. I had grown every spring flower from the seeds that I could get hold of at Hana's General Store: Tulips, Marguerites, Pink Roses. Then Yesterday I had gotten Hana to turn those beautiful flowers into a bunch of beautiful bouquets.

I couldn't have been happier as I made my way around town delivering a bouquet to every resident. I had watched as their faces had lit up. Hana had squeezed my hand firmly, Emma had hugged me tightly, Iroha had clasped her hands together in delight and Dunhill had laughed as he had asked if it was me who was his secret admirer. With every laugh and smile my happiness had grew, like I was absorbing it. The flower festival was only a small festival but it was worth every effort to put a smile on people's faces, to show them that you cared and appreciated them, the more effort you put in the more someone knew it. The only resident I had slightly regretted giving a bouquet to was Allen...

Allen was the new resident that had moved into town only a few days ago. As part of the second town restoration plan Dunhill had instructed that I build a Salon for the town, he had said every good town needed one. Just the morning after the Salon was built Allen had moved in. His house was located across from Dunhill's on the upper level of the town. Dunhill had said that Allen was a big shot fancy hairdresser from the city and would help to increase the town's popularity.

Allen was as egotistical as he was charming. Allen was handsome and boy did he know it too. However, no one could deny it with his dreamy blue eyes, sculptured jaw and stylish glossy burgundy coloured hair. Allen was the type of man who could charm the birds out off the trees or break a girl's heart within the space of a minute. Goddess knows why he had wanted to move to a town as little as Echo village but he didn't seem to be leaving any time soon. The first time I had met Allen he had stated that I was the most beautiful woman in town and even though I was a farmer it didn't give me the excuse to keep my hair looking like a "pigsty". Later on that same day I had watched from a distance as he had proclaimed the exact same thing to a flustered Iroha, I had even caught him trying to flirt with a resilient Emma.

Allen had been one of the last people I had given a bouquet to, I felt that I couldn't really leave him out. Allen had proclaimed, to my utter embarrassment, that even though the flower bouquet was beautiful it could not compare to my own beauty. Allen had then stated that in exchange for my bouquet, as he had no flowers of his own to give me, he would give me a free make-over. I had then literally been forced into the salon and shoved into one of the salon chairs. I had felt like Allen's Barbie Guinea-pig. Luckily I had managed to keep his antics to a minimum. I had to admit that Allen was a styler amongst stylists. I had left the salon with hair that hadn't looked or felt so good in months. Allen hadn't done much really, however, my hair was now evenly cut and fell in a long glossy blonde curtain down my back. Allen had also decorated my hair in honor of the flower festival as he had woven a crown of different coloured flowers, spare from my own basket, into a french headband that stretched across my head and that was held into place at the back of my neck.

As I walked through the main part of town now I looked into my basket, it carried the flowers that I had received in exchange from the other town's people and it contained my last flower bouquet. As I looked at the remaining flower bouquet I felt a twinge of uneasiness. The last flower bouquet was for Neil. Though I would class Neil and I as friends now our friendship seemed as fragile as egg shells and as deep as a puddle. Neil wasn't very talkative so our few conversations, created mainly on my end, were short and unmeaning-full. It was mostly small talk like "How's business going?" or "Isn't the weather great today?". Neil still gets annoyed with me at times, however, he puts up with my presence more than he did before. Neil never talks about himself and he seems to stay away from sensitive topics. I do like to tease him though, even if he does get angry. I was beginning to see a new side to Neil and I was determined to find out what made him tick. I wanted to see the Neil that smiles slightly to himself, when he thinks that nobody's watching, or the Neil that quietly talks to his animals so sweetly. I sighed to myself as I continued to walk through the main part of town towards Neil's house. Neil really didn't seem like the type of guy who would like to receive flowers. He could be so temperamental and unpredictable, I was worried about how he would respond. However, I had to give him a flower bouquet to express to him what he wouldn't let me talk about in words.

When I reached Neil's house I stopped in front of his front door. Before I knocked I took a deep breath, to prepare myself, and let it out with a sigh. I raised my hand, leaving it hesitatingly in the air for a moment, before I knocked on the door. Just as I was assuming that Neil mustn't be home, and I was beginning to turn away, I heard the front door open. At the sound I half turned back around so that I was facing Neil, who was standing in the doorway. Neil looked surprised to see me, he quickly regained his composure as he lifted his hand to hold the back of his neck. "Er... Hey." He said.

"Hey." I automatically replied. I then averted my eyes towards the ground while I thought about what would be the best thing to say next, to get things started. The last thing I wanted to do was sound like an idiot. As I was struggling to form a sentence to say in my head I heard Neil speak again as he said "Er... Did you need something?"

I looked back up at Neil to find that he was looking at me contemplatively. As soon as I looked into his eyes any words that had managed to form in my mind seemed to vanish. Those amethyst eyes unknowingly captured my own and erased all of my thoughts, I couldn't look away. Whenever I looked Neil straight in the eyes this affect seemed to occur, they were just so interesting and so intriguing. I liked to think that sometimes, when I looked into his eyes, I could see glimpses of the secret emotions that he tried so hard to conceal. Those deep-rooted buried emotions that were hidden behind a portrayed cold indifferent mask. It's said that the eyes are a window to the soul. I shook my head then as I realized that I had been staring at Neil for far to long. Words tumbled out of my mouth as I quickly tried to say something and recover myself. "I.. I.. Err... I." I stumbled off lamely.

I saw a flicker of irritation shoot across Neil's face, I could see that he was starting to become impatient with me. As I felt like I couldn't open my mouth again, without saying something stupid, I took the flower bouquet out of the basket and handed it to Neil silently. Neil's eyes flickered between me and the flower bouquet, in my outstretched hand, uncertainty in his eyes. It seemed that he needed more of an explanation to understand what I meant. I cast my eyes to the ground as I quietly mumbled "It's for the flower festival."

I looked back up at Neil when I felt him take the bouquet of flowers out of my hand. He didn't say anything, he just stood there looking at me speculatively. I felt myself squirm a little under his inquisitive gaze as I attempted to explain myself "I..Err...wanted to give you...Err flowers for the flower festival because we're Err... friends and I Err... gave everyone else one so..." I could feel a hot flush of embarrassment start to creep across my checks as I poorly tried to explain myself.

As I finished explaining Neil looked away from me to the flower bouquet that was in his hands. As he did he raised his eyes in surprise at something he found there, something that I couldn't see. Neil looked at the bouquet a moment longer before he looked back at me questioningly and asked "Did you put a Moondrop flower in this bouquet?"

I self-consciously cast my eyes towards the ground. I shyly twisted a lock of hair around my finger as I said "Err... yeah. I heard that you liked them."

I looked back up at Neil as I heard him state "They're my favourite." Neil looked at me thoughtfully as he went on to ask "How did you know?"

I hesitated in replying, I didn't want him to know the true reason how I knew that a Moondrop flower was his favourite. Really I knew as I had seen Neil, when I was searching for materials on the mountain, pick one up when he thought that no one was watching. I didn't want him to think that I was stalking him or something. It was just that for some strange reason, when it came to Neil, I felt the urge to watch him more than anyone else. Perhaps it was because I thought if I observed him enough I could figure him out more. Not wanting to tell Neil the truth I said the first excuse that popped into my head. "It was just a lucky guess."

Neil looked at me disbelievingly for a moment before the corners of his lips turned up into a small smile, I could see his cheeks were slightly tinged red. Neil's eyes flickered away from me, he lifted his spare hand to scratch the back of his head as he said "Well Err... thanks."

I felt my face break out into a smile. Neil had accepted my flower festival offering, I thought to myself what had I been so worried about. I kept the smile in my voice as I replied "You're welcome!"

Neil stood there looking slightly embarrassed and unsure of what to do with himself next. I decided to spare him the hassle of anymore social interaction as I turned away, with a short wave, and said "See you later Neil."

I had taken a few steps down the front path when I heard Neil say behind me "Rachael, wait. Did you change your hair?"

I twirled around to face Neil surprised. I stared at him blankly for a few moments while I comprehended what he had asked. I lifted a strand of my hair up in examination as I replied "Er... yeah. Allen practically forced me into the salon this morning and I couldn't escape."

At the mention of Allen's name I saw Neil's face turn sour. I laughed at him as I said "Allen's not that bad."

Neil looked at me as though I had lost my marbles. I felt a need to defend Allen's character, even if I was probably thinking along the same lines that Neil was, as I incredulously said "What? Allen... well... he has Err... has many redeeming qualities."

Neil snickered. He raised his eyebrow as he demanded "Name one."

I cursed Neil internally for having to ask me that. It's hard to defend a person's character when you can't think of many good characteristics to begin with. I furrowed my brow as I tried to think of the best feature I had encountered in Allen in our short acquaintance. I heard Neil struggling not to laugh as he saw me struggling to come up with something. In the end all I could say was "Well Allen he has... Err... well he has... a certain witty charm... I suppose."

At that Neil couldn't suppress his laughter as it burst through his lips. I started to laugh too. I didn't like to laugh at another person's expense but I couldn't help it, I raised my hand to my mouth to try and stop myself. I had never heard Neil laugh properly before, the best I had ever gotten was a snicker or a snort, I couldn't help but to think that I liked the sound of his laughter. After we had both stopped laughing a little I said "Well at least Allen can't complain that I'm neglecting my hair to my farm work any more."

Neil looked at me thoughtfully then before he said "It looks pretty."

After Neil had said that his eyes widened and he looked taken aback. Neil looked like he hadn't meant to say those words out loud and was shocked that he did, like he had spoken a hidden thought. At his unexpected complement I flushed slightly with pleasure. I self-consciously cast my gaze towards the ground as I mumbled "Thank you."

I looked back up as I heard Neil say "I should probably go back inside. I still have things to finish off."

Neil's cheeks matched my own. Wanting to get away from the situation too I replied "Of course. I should probably get going anyway. I've still got some farm work to do. Err... See you later Neil."

"Yeah... See you later" Neil said as he turned to go back inside. It seemed he avoided looking at me as he closed the front door behind him. I started to walk away from Neil's house and towards the path that would lead back up to my farm. As I did so all I could think about was that Neil had seemed to like my gift and that he had called me pretty, unintentionally or not. As I thought about it I couldn't help but to smile to myself a little. I felt a warm feeling in my chest and I felt a sweet happiness in my heart all of a sudden. For some reason whenever I was around Neil lately I felt like this. I didn't really know what the feeling was, where it had come from, when it had started or why it was associated with Neil. All I knew was that I liked it...


	10. The flower festival - Neil's P.O.V

I sat cross-legged on my silk black bedspread as I played my rustic guitar idly. I strummed a shapeless melody, one that was trying to form but hadn't quite come together yet. It was soft and sweet, different from what I usually played. I closed my eyes and tried to follow where the melody was trying to take me. It wasn't too long later that I was disruptively wrenched away from my inner-self by the loud quick knocking of the front door. I sighed and lazily opened one eye to stare at the red front door. I considered ignoring it for a moment before I sighed again and reluctantly went to answer it, if I did it now whoever it was wouldn't come knocking again later. There would be a serious problem if it was that new hair stylist, Allen, just "Getting to know my neighbours" again.

My eyes widened with surprise as I saw the small figure, of the blonde haired farmer, looking up at me with surprised eyes of her own. She had a crown of flowers woven into her hair, she looked like one of those Harvest Sprites that you could read about in fairy-tales. Rachael didn't normally make house-calls, I wondered what she could possibly want. I raised my hand awkwardly behind my neck as I said "Er… Hey."

"Hey." Rachael simply replied. She cast her eyes to the ground and began to bite her lip thoughtfully. I started to grow irritated as I waited for her to say something. You would think that a person would know what they wanted to say before they knocked on someone else's front door. I was impatient to get back to work on the guitar melody that I could feel niggling at the back of my mind. I raised my eyebrows as I asked "Er… Did you need something?"

Rachael looked back up at me, her eyes widened a little when they met mine. I began to worry when she just carried on looking at me without saying anything, it was like she was paralysed. I resisted the urge to poke her or wave my hand in front of her face. Rachael seemed to come back to her senses then as she shook her head. She looked slightly embarrassed as she stuttered "I… I... Er… I."

I felt irritation involuntarily flash across my face before I quickly smoothed it over. It seemed I wasn't the only one who struggled with social interactions, at least I managed to get a sentence out. I heard Rachael sigh quietly as she reached into her basket and pulled out a bouquet of flowers. I stared at them dumbfoundedly as I tried to figure out what on Earth they were for. I looked back to Rachael for an explanation. She averted her eyes to the ground as she quietly stated "It's for the Flower Festival."

Of course, today was the Flower Festival. I had completely forgot. I didn't tend to celebrate festivals where the whole point was to give out flowers to express your fondness and gratitude. It seemed completely pointless to me.

I stood there blinking in surprise, for a few moments, before I slowly reached out and took the flower bouquet from Rachael's outstretched hand. The bouquet was wrapped in emerald green plastic paper and tied towards the bottom with a silver bow. I gazed at Rachael as I speculated why she was giving me a flower bouquet. I knew it was in tradition of the festival but I didn't think she thought enough of me to go through such an effort, especially when she was busy enough as it was. I couldn't remember the last time someone had brought me flowers for this festival, everyone assumed I just wouldn't want one I suppose. It was just so Rachael, I bet she didn't want to leave anyone out.

As I looked at her Rachael began to squirm and fidget, I think I was making her uncomfortable. Rachael began to shuffle her feet as she stumbled "I... Err...wanted to give you...Err flowers for the flower festival because we're Err...friends and I Err...gave everyone else one so…"

After Rachael had finished rambling a slight blush began to stain her cheeks. I wondered why she was so nervous. I didn't think I scared her so much anymore and I'd never seen her so timid. I looked at the bouquet. It was made up of pink roses, tulips and a single yellow flower in the middle. On closer examination I realised that it was a Moondrop Flower. I raised my eyebrows in surprise, how did she know?

I turned my surprised eyes back to Rachael as I questioningly asked her "Did you put a Moondrop Flower in this bouquet?"

I watched as she self-consciously cast her eyes to the ground and I could see that her blush had grown slightly more pronounced. She began to shyly twirl a lock of her hair as she quietly explained "Err...yeah. I heard that you liked them."

Somehow I couldn't quite believe that. I hardly went around telling people what my favourite flower was and it wasn't really a question that I was asked. I continued to look at Rachael curiously as I slowly stated "They're my favourite." I went onto push her as I thoughtfully asked "How did you know?"

Rachael seemed to deliberate for a second before she simply answered "It was just a lucky guess."

I raised my eyes slightly in disbelief, I knew that Rachael was holding back something. It didn't really matter enough for me to push the subject further, I still wandered how she really knew though. I couldn't believe the length of effort she had gone to, she'd even took the time to find out what my favourite flower was somehow. I didn't think she thought this much of me. I couldn't help but to give the tiniest smile and I felt my cheeks get hotter. I realised with surprise that I was blushing. I never blushed. I flickered my eyes away from Rachael's face, trying to hide it. I awkwardly raised my hand to scratch the back of my head as I said "Well Err...thanks."

As soon as the words left my mouth I knew that they didn't sound very grateful, I really didn't know what else to say. I hoped she wasn't expecting anything back, maybe I could find something. I didn't want to upset her. As I looked at Rachael I saw her face break into a smile as she happily said "You're welcome!"

I inwardly sighed in relief, at least it seemed like she didn't expect me to do anything else. I stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do next. Rachael's eyes seemed to light up with understanding. She began to turn away, with a slight wave, as she said "See you later Neil."

I watched as she began to make her way back down the garden path, at least now I wouldn't be forced to make any small talk. As I watched Rachael walk away I thought that she looked different, I realised that it was her hair. It fell in a long glossy curtain down her back. It was normally completely disarrayed with pieces of grass, hay and mud stuck in it.

Rachael hadn't walked too far when I called "Wait, Rachael. Did you change your hair?"

Rachael twirled around to face me with surprise, she looked at me blankly for a few moments. She lifted a strand of her hair up in examination as she replied "Er...yeah. Allen practically forced me into the salon this morning and I couldn't escape."

At the mention of the name I felt my face turn sour. That stylist was so obnoxious he could make his own reflection walk away from him. I could barely stand his company for more than thirty seconds, not that we had met much. I heard Rachael laugh as she looked at my expression. "Aww Allen's not that bad." She challenged.

I looked at her in disbelief, she had completely lost her marbles. Rachael looked a little incredulous then as she tried again to defend Allen. "What?. Allen...well...he has Err...many redeeming qualities."

I snickered at her bold statement. I raised my eyebrow as I challengingly demanded "Name one."

Rachael glared at me for speaking the words that could prove her wrong. I snorted as I watched her face scrunch up with thought, I couldn't wait to hear what she would come up with. After deliberating, for a quite a while, all that Rachael could say was "Well Allen he... Err... has a certain witty charm... I suppose."

I finally burst out laughing, I couldn't help it. Rachael pouted for a moment before she snorted and started to laugh to, she raised her hand to her mouth to try and stop herself. After we had both stopped laughing a little I heard Rachael say "Well at least Allen can't complain that I'm neglecting my hair to my farm work anymore."

I looked back at Rachael. Now that I was really looking at her I had to admit that she did look quite pretty. For once there wasn't any trace of her farm work on her dungarees or on her face. Her hair framed her face like a golden halo and blew lightly in the late Spring breeze. Her eyes were so blue, her lips were a soft pink, her cheeks were slightly flushed and she had a light dusting of freckles along her nose that I hadn't noticed before. Huh, she really did look pretty.

I continued to look at Rachael as she strangely cast her eyes towards the ground and her cheeks flushed to a soft glowing pink. In fact she looked embarrassed but I couldn't think why. Unless… No… I couldn't have said that out loud. My fears were confirmed when Rachael mumbled a quiet "Thank you."

I felt my face grow paler and my eyes widened in horror. I must have said something, there was no other explanation. God, I was such an idiot. I could feel my cheeks growing hotter, a clear indication that I was blushing. I had to make my escape before something else happened. I tried to smooth my face over as I quickly said "Well I should probably go back inside. I still have things to finish off."

I realised that that was a bad excuse, who worked this late on a festival. Rachael didn't seem to notice as she replied "Of course. I should probably get going anyway. I've still got some farm work to do. Err...See you later Neil."

Phew, at least I wasn't the only one who seemed eager to get away. "Yeah...See you later" I awkwardly replied as I quickly shut the front door, not looking at Rachael.

I wanted to bang my head against the wall. What had I done? I didn't even want to know what she was thinking. I had never lost control of myself with anyone like that before. Rachael seemed to bring out the worst in my emotions or seemed to make me lose track of them completely. I couldn't figure out why. It's not even like I liked her that much, right?

I shook my head hard, I didn't want to think about this anymore. I walked over to the kitchen cabinet, under the sink, and pulled out a simple glass vase. I filled it with water, put in the flower bouquet and placed it on the kitchen counter. It looked a little out of place, a splash of colour in my small simply decorated home.

I went back to my guitar and started to work on the simple melody that I had been playing before. This time I found it easier to carry on with the continuation of the song, one note just seemed to follow after the other. It carried on getting softer and sweeter until it slowly quietened down to an end. It reminded me of Rachael...


	11. The Animal Sanctuary

I sighed frustratedly as I glared down at the pile of papers that were scattered haphazardly across my kitchen table. I was trying to sort out building plans and finances, the farm's income against its financial consumption, and I was attempting to maintain a stock of the farm's produce. On top of everything else I now had another cow, a sheep and three chickens to care for and keep track of. I groaned in defeat as I slammed my head down on the kitchen tabletop, if I closed my eyes maybe all of this would go away. I slowly turned my head to the side and let out a small sigh. I knew I couldn't ignore what I had to do. I involuntarily crept my dreary eyes open, when they did the calendar on the wall came into focus. There was a date circled, with an exclamation mark, in red marker that caught my attention. There labelled, in black and white, on the 23rd was the 'Cow Festival'. I gasped in realisation as I leapt up from the kitchen chair, it screeched back in protest.

I had completely forgotten that next week was the cow festival and I still needed to make further preparations. I was counting on Belle to win. If I won my farm's brand would increase and I could sell my milk produce for a higher profit. It would also be my first time entering a competition and I was determined to show everyone my progress, plus there would be rival farmers there and potential buyers. I shook my head and slapped my hand to my forehead. Gosh, I hadn't even taken Belle to the Animal Sanctuary this week. The Animal sanctuary! I checked the kitchen clock on the wall, it was only 14:30. Neil's store was still open which meant that I still had the chance to go today. I grabbed my black and white cow-printed cowgirls hat, from the kitchen table, as I hurried towards the front door…

I slowed down my pace as I trudged over to Neil's animal store, I could feel the harsh burning sun bearing down on my back. I could already feel the sweat starting to gather quickly on my brow and I could feel my hair matting to the back of my neck. It was the kind of sticky heat that made you want to dive in an icy cold river or just laze about under a shady tree all day. The type of overpowering heat that made you want to strip all of your clothes off if it wasn't illegal, immoral, humiliating or socially unacceptable. I had been forced to change my regular comfortable denim dungarees to a more befitting outfit of white and blue work shorts instead. Yes, the summer had come in full force. The sun added colour, vibrancy and beauty to everything it shined its light upon but it sucked the life out of everything to.

When I entered the town plaza I saw Neil behind his stall, grumpy as ever, holding a small battery powered fan in front of his flushed sweat drenched face. His long buckled amethyst coat was laid on the stall top beside him. Next to Neil's store was another identical wooden stall but instead of 'Neil's Animals' it read 'Rod's Pets'.

I had started the third town restoration plan a few weeks ago and the first thing that I had built from the list was the 'Cottage'. It resided next to Hana's general store in the main part of town. The day after the cottage had been built Rod had moved in. Apparently he was an old friend of Allen's and had heard about the new housing opportunity from him. Rod had claimed he had been looking for a fresh place to settle down where he could set up his pet store, the lack of population hadn't seemed to bother him. Rod was an overly cheerful approachable type of guy, the kind of guy who could make friends easily. He seemed an upbeat optimistic fellow who didn't get upset easily. Rod had messy red hair, freckles and bright electric blue eyes. He wore a bright orange body-warmer, three quarter jeans, a pair of red and white sneakers, and a pair of black goggles that sat on top of his head. As I walked over I saw that Rod was talking to Iroha.

"Hey guys. What's up?" I called. I noticed that Iroha startled a little as I came up behind her.

Rod looked at me strangely for a second before he flashed me a smile and replied "Oh, Hi Rachael. Iroha was just telling me that the water won't come on in her house. I've said I'll go over, and check it out, once I've closed up later."

"Really." I said as I looked over at Iroha suspiciously. "You would think that a blacksmith would know what to do in those types of situations."

Iroha looked quite sheepish and I could see the hint of a blush on her pale skin. "Exactly." She huffed. "I'm a blacksmith not a plumber."

"Well, you'll have to let me know if you get the problem fixed later." I said to her with a wink and an emphasis on the word 'problem'.

Iroha squirmed and I could see that her blush had deepened. She restlessly shuffled her feet as she nervously said "Er...right. Well I'd… Erm… better go. I still need to visit the mine to search for ores." She gave Rod a tentative smile as she gratefully said "Well thank you again Rod."

Rod scratched his nose as he replied "Er sure. No, problem." Iroha gave a small bow to the both of us before she departed in the direction that led to the forest. As I watched her leave I swear that I could see that Allen was waiting for her just in the entrance to the forest. Something didn't quite add up and I knew that I would have to get to the bottom of it later. What I could quite clearly see, however, was that Iroha had quickly developed a little crush on Rod. I felt that it was my duty, as her bestfriend, to help her to get the ball rolling a little.

Rod raised his eyebrows as he remarked "That was kind of sudden."

I swatted my hand dismissively in the air as I replied " Nah, Iroha just keeps herself busy with her work."

I rested my elbows on top of Rod's stall and placed my chin in my cupped hands. I gave Rod my most charming smile as I persuasively said "But do you know what Rod? That's just regular hardworking Iroha. She's so pretty and smart and sweet. Don't you think?"

Rod looked completely taken aback for a moment before he gave me a look that seemed to be questioning my sanity. Rod squinted his eyes as he unsurely answered "Er...Okay."

I stood up straight and rolled my eyes, boys were so dense, I'd have to find a more subtle way to give Rod a little push in the right direction later. "So, how's business?" I asked to get the conversation back on track.

Rod perked up as he replied "Quiet so far but Neil's been teaching me the ropes."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, for a moment, though it did seem to make sense. Rod and Neil seemed like chalk and cheese but they both appeared to get on well. Perhaps it was because they both shared a deep love of animals or maybe it was because Rod was too friendly to be frightened away by anyone, even Neil. I sensed this as an opportunity to play with Neil. "Really?" I sarcastically asked. "Has he showed you the part yet were he scares away his customers with his award winning scowl."

Rod grunted, to stifle his laughter, as he cast a sideways glance at Neil. I smirked as I heard Neil call irritably behind me "You know I can hear you, right?"

"Oh Neil!" I sang as I twirled around to face him. "Just the guy I wanted to see." I said as I pranced my way over to his stall.

Neil appraised me for a second before he simply stated "You look awful."

I was taken aback for a second. Neil was now going out of his way to be insulting or he really didn't appreciate my teasing. I wasn't going to bite back though, two could play at this game.

I mockingly placed my hand over my heart as I sarcastically stated "Wow, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. If you keep up this level of flattery we'll be hitched by next week."

I winked at Neil as his face twisted in horror and disgust. Me and Rod burst out laughing as Neil scowled at the pair of us. "Really." Neil seriously said giving me an accusative glare. "You look like you haven't slept in days."

I stopped laughing suddenly as I stood there in surprise. I furrowed my brow as I thought about what he meant. It was true that I had been staying up lately to get everything done. I've had to create protective tight meshed covers to try and shield some of the harsh sunlight from my plants, I've had to water them twice as much as usual to keep them hydrated, and I've had to check more often on my livestock to make sure that they were doing okay in the intense heat. That's been on top of mining, foraging, gathering materials and trying to get on top of the restoration plans. In fact the summer has just made my work twice as hard and myself twice as busy. I bit my lip as I thought that I couldn't look that bad. Perhaps that was why Rod had looked at me strangely when I had first come over but, unlike Neil, he was too polite to say anything.

"Maybe you should get some rest." I heard Neil say softly. When I looked back up his mouth was set in a straight line and there was the slightest hint of concern in his amethyst eyes.

I shuddered internally at the word 'rest'. I had more important things to do. I folded my arms defensively and jutted out my chin. "I can't" I stubbornly claimed. "I have too much to do. I need to go to the Animal Sanctuary. That's what I came here for actually."

Neil's lips quirked up at one side, from my protestation, before he looked me hard in the eyes. "No, really…" He began to argue when I cut him off with an icy glare. I set my jaw and placed my hands on my hips, preparing for a fight. "Neil." I started. "The Cow Festival is next week and I need to take Belle to the Animal Sanctuary."

I expected an immediate protestation but he just looked at me solemnly, I didn't drop his gaze. I found it easier to look him straight in the eyes now. Though his eyes were still dazzling I didn't find them as intimidating as I once did. Neil looked at me for a few moments before sighing in defeat. I blinked in surprise, I had never known him to drop anything that easily before. I looked at him suspiciously, why wasn't he arguing back with me? Neil seemed to read my mind as he rolled his eyes. "Even if I said no you'd still find a way to get there anyway." He explained. "At least if I go with you I can make sure you don't hurt yourself."

"Fine." I pouted. I couldn't tell if he was being serious or if he was mocking me, knowing Neil it was probably the latter.

"You'll have to wait while I pack the store up, and take my animals back, then I'll go get the van." explained Neil. I heard him mutter something about "Stubborn" as he started to clear away. I watched Neil for a minute before I heard a chorus of loud mewing and barking coming from the direction of Rod's stall. I looked over and saw that Rod was feeding his animals in the pen next to his stall. I grinned to myself, they were so adorable. I quickly glanced back over to Neil but he was still packing away. I stood there awkwardly for a moment thinking if I should offer to help him or not, thinking better of it I made my way over to where Rod was crouching.

I tapped Rod's shoulder as I enthusiastically asked "Can I help?" Rod looked up and laughed at my excitement "Sure." He said as he handed me a bag of cat food. "Just feed them a cup of dry food each."

I took the bag earnestly as I started to pour the food into the cat's bowls, they lunged at the bowls eagerly. I laughed, they were just too cute. When I was done I stood back up and gave the bag of food back to Rod. "Thanks." He said.

I watched as the dozen or so animals attacked their bowls. I looked at Rod sympathetically as I stated "They must be hard work." Rod gave a small smile as he gazed lovingly at the pets in the pen. "They sure are." He breathed. "But they're worth it."

I glanced at him knowingly as I agreed "Yeah, I know what you mean."

Rod gave a small chuckle as he said "You must do with running the farm and keeping up with Neil."

I looked at him confused. "Keeping up with Neil." I asked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Rod looked at me uncertainly as he questioned "Wait. You two are dating, right?"

I stared at Rod dumbfounded. "What?" I stupidly asked.

I watched as Rod's cheeks flamed to the same colour as his hair. "Oh, no. I'm so sorry!" I heard him frantically stumble over his words as he waved his hands in front of him and shook his head. "I just presumed because I've seen you argue like that so much together… Err you know… Like you like each other."

I stood rooted to the spot as I finally realized what he meant. I could feel the heat radiating from my cheeks as I thought about the prospect of me and Neil dating. Then my embarrassment turned into a nervous nausea that I was beginning to feel in the pit of my stomach, what if everyone else had the same idea as Rod? I shuddered internally at the thought. But that was just so ridiculous. It must just be Rod and maybe it was because he was new to the town to. Actually the more I thought about it the more ludicrous it seemed. Me and Neil. It would be like an eagle dating a fish or a lion dating a lamb. I suddenly bust out laughing at the whole ridiculousness of the situation, I held my stomach as I clutched over with laughter. Poor Rod just stood there completely flustered and unsure of what to do.

I managed to get control of myself enough, a few minutes later, to force my laughter to a slow end. I placed a comforting hand on Rod's shoulder as I said "It's fine. Don't worry about it."

Rod still looked embarrassed, he cast his eyes to the ground and shuffled his feet. "I guess I got the wrong idea, huh." he said quietly.

"Me and Neil just have a unique kind of friendship." I tried to explain, testing the words, trying to find the right ones. "It's hard to describe but it works for the two of us."

I couldn't really give a name to what me and Neil were. We weren't exactly friends but then we weren't exactly not friends either, we kind of just hovered some place in the middle that went back and forth. We cared about each other on a level, in a weird relationship that no one really understood. I find it funny to tease him, he gets really annoyed but doesn't seem to mind my company. We'd argue half-heartedly sometimes. I'd tell him when he was being too grumpy and he'd tell me straight what he thought, unlike anyone else in town. We just kind of tiptoed around each other not really knowing what to make of the other. I just knew he was straightforward and reliable. I found him intriguing then completely repelling at the same time. Whenever you felt like you had taken a few steps with Neil you were back at square one. It was hard to explain, half the time I didn't even understand it myself.

Rod still looked quite down about the whole situation, he looked like a sad puppy really. "Really, Rod." I laughed. "It's fine. Just don't tell Neil, he might not find it as funny as I do."

Rod seemed to think about it before he shuddered slightly. "You're right." He said.

I laughed. The thought of how mad Neil would get if he knew there was a person who thought we were dating was enough to make anyone shudder at the thought. I decided I needed to give Rod a little necessary advice as I warningly stated "You know you probably shouldn't tell anyone else about your romantic theories, unless you're one hundred percent sure, we wouldn't want any unwanted rumors to be started."

Rod looked at me blankly for a second before a look of realization flashed across his face. He shook his head vigorously as he agreed "No, of course not."

Before I could answer I heard a loud impatient voice shout behind me "Come on, the vans ready!"

I turned around to see Neil beckoning me to hurry up with a quick backwards wave of his hand. I turned back to Rod and rolled me eyes. "I better go." I said. I flashed Rod a smile as I said "Thanks, this was fun. I'll see you later."

Rod looked a little sheepish as he gave me a half smile. "Yeah, see you later." He said as he walked back around his stall. I shook my head as I walked over to where Neil was waiting, he was looking at me exasperatedly while he tapped his foot impatiently against the ground. As I looked at Neil I thought about where Rod could have gotten such a crazy idea from, the more I thought about it the more I just couldn't see it. I shook my head again, I was starting to give myself a headache, perhaps Rod had just watched too many romantic comedies.

I rolled my eyes dramatically at Neil when I reached him. "Geez, I'm here." I said. "Don't get your knickers in a bunch."

Neil gave me a glare, that translated into don't push it, as he simply said "Follow me, I parked the van just out of town. I've loaded your livestock into the trailer." He then commenced to walk towards the East exit, out of town, without looking back to see If I was following or not. I had to jog to keep up with his long strides.

The large white van idled down the long narrow dirt road that led to the Animal Sanctuary. The van occasionally hit a small pot hole and the animals, now and again, voiced their dissatisfaction. I impatiently blew my fringe out of my face, I preoccupied myself with watching the serene woodland scenery as it slowly passed by the dirty side door window. I risked a quick glance at Neil who was holding the steering wheel tightly and staring hard out of the front screen. I bit my lip as I tried to calculate if it was worth trying to strike up a conversation with him or not. I sighed, I could feel the awkward tension in the air as if it were a tangible thing. My worries were then answered when I spotted the radio, I hastily turned it on. I had to fiddle with the radio frequencies to find a station that worked all the way out here. I could feel Neil watching me but he didn't say anything. Eventually I managed to connect with a station and a song blared out, I recognized it right away and automatically began to sing along.

"I'm a Joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a Midnight Toker. I get my lovin on the run."

I stopped singing suddenly when I realized where I was and who I was with, my cheeks flushed a little with embarrassment and I turned to look back out the window. I could feel Neil catching glimpses at the back of my head. I didn't look back at him, I couldn't stand to see that mocking grin that I knew must be gracing his features. A few moments later I heard Neil ask "You know this song?"

I turned and looked at him blankly in surprise. "Yeah." I automatically replied "It's The Joker, by Steve Miller Band, 1973, Right?"

Neil gave me a sideways glimpse before turning his attention back to the road. "Yeah". He answered, a little unsure.

I looked at him, a little confused. "You don't sound too confident." I acknowledged. "You know I'll be personally offended if you don't actually know this song."

Neil scowled at me irritably as he snapped "Of course I know this song." He opened his mouth to say something, when he looked over at me again, and thought better of it.

"What?" I said indignantly.

"Nothing." He sniggered.

"Neil." I began warningly.

Neil gave me another glimpse, he took one hand off the steering wheel as he pretended to cough to hide the laughter that had escaped from his lips. He waited a few moments before he snickered "Well… you just didn't strike me as the type who'd listen to this genre of music. You look like the kind of girl who likes listening to Taylor Swift or Katy Perry."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise before I smacked his arm playfully. "I'm offended." I mockingly began. "I don't like being stereotyped. In fact I'll have you know I grew up listening to old American Rock, my old man loves it."

Now it was Neil who looked surprised and I thought a little impressed, it was only for a second before that irritating snicker returned. "I bet you still listen to cheesy pop music." He teased.

I opened my mouth to argue back but couldn't, what he said was in fact true. Instead of disagreeing with him I felt the need to defend my taste in music. "And?" I asked. "What's so wrong with cheesy pop music?"

Neil raised an incredulous eyebrow and then opened his mouth, I'm sure, to evidently tell me just what was wrong with it. A new song came on the radio, however, before he could utter a syllable. I burst out laughing when I realised unbelievably that the song was 'We are never ever getting back together' By Taylor Swift. Neil glimpsed from me to the radio before he set his mouth into a rigid line. A few moments later he succumbed and he unintentionally let out a snort of laughter. His serious expression deteriorated as chortles began to escape out of his lips. I saw a flash of white straight teeth as he began to laugh. Our laughter mixed together and I savoured the sound. It was so rare that Neil relaxed enough to be himself, I could count the times on my hand that I had heard him really laugh. In that moment I felt as though Neil had let down another wall and I felt that sweet warm feeling start to spread through my chest again. I couldn't help but to keep a look at him out of the corner of my eye.

When we finally reached the Animal Sanctuary I stared in wide eyed wonder. No matter how many times I visited the place it's natural beauty still astounded me. The rolling hills were scattered with wild summer flowers: Magic Red flowers, Magic Blue flowers and Moondrops. The meadow was surrounded by tall pine trees and encircled by a sturdy white picket-fence. The sunlight bleached the meadow and cascaded flickering shadows across the ground, everything was so bright. We released the impatient animals from the trailer, led them down the path, and through the unlocked gate. Once inside they happily wandered off to graze. I made to follow them when I felt a hand shoot out and grab my arm, I flinched and turned around in surprise. "Neil?" I questioned in confusion.

"Where are you wondering off to?" He asked sternly. I looked at him in disbelief, who did he think he was, I shook his hand away. "To check on my livestock." I indigently replied.

Neil looked at me torn, for what seemed like a long time, then he dropped his gaze and sighed. "Just be careful." He persisted seriously. I looked at him dubiously. Why was he so concerned about me today, he was like a mother hen. "I'll be fine." I reassured him. "Don't be such a worry wort or you'll get wrinkles." I didn't wait for him to reply as I flounced over the hill towards my scattered livestock. I turned my head back to see that Neil had sprawled under the shade of a nearby tree, he was resting his eyes and had earphones in.

"Belle!" I sighed in frustration as I approached the grazing animal. "Why can't you ever stay clean?" The cow only mooed quietly in content as she continued to destroy a patch of wildflowers. Her once polished shiny fur was now covered in grass stains and flecks of dirt. I sighed once more as I took out a brush and began to work on trying to get her fur clean again, she didn't seem to mind or notice. "What am I going to do with you?" I chided. "You know you have to keep looking your best for the animal festival." I continued to brush her fur as my words fell on deaf ears.

After a while I sighed dramatically in defeat and put the brush away. I plonked down on the grass as I glared irritatingly at Belle's still filthy coat. No matter how much I had brushed the resilient stains had refused to shift, I would have to brush them again later with soapy water. I felt light headed all of a sudden. I laid back and let the warm afternoon sunshine wash over my face. I sank into the soft grass and I could feel my aching muscles begin to relax. I tried to fight my heavy lids, there was so much to do. I eventually lost the battle as I quickly sunk into a sweet unconscious oblivion...

I could feel a bright white light through my closed lids, I was lying on something soft and wrapped in something snug and warm. I didn't want to wake up. I was having such a lovely dream, a dream about home. I felt a hand brush the hair off my forehead, lightly as a moth's wing. I sighed in content, I must be home and that must be my mother. My father would be downstairs making breakfast. I wanted to see them, to talk to them, it had been so long. I struggled to open my heavy eyelids but I eventually made them flutter open. I gasped and sat up straight. I wasn't back at home, I was back in my bed at the farmhouse. I felt a sudden irrelevant panic clamp around my chest as I looked wildly around the house. What had happened and how did I get back here?

"Everything's okay, calm down." I heard a voice softly command. I felt a hand gently grasp my lower arm. I startled but relaxed when I saw that it was only Neil sitting on a kitchen chair towards the bottom of my bed.

"Neil... What's going on?" I croaked, my voice thick with sleep.

"I found you asleep. I thought you had passed out." Neil quietly explained.

I remembered. The sun had been so warm, the soft grass so enticing, I couldn't fight the exhaustion that had dragged me under. I gasped when I realised that I didn't know where my livestock was.

"Neil." I panicked. "Where are the animals?"

"Relax." He reassured me as he pushed me back down in the bed. "They're fine, all of them are back in the barn. You were out like a light, I went back and fetched them."

I sighed in relief. I couldn't believe what Neil had done for me, the effort he'd been forced through on my behalf. I felt a wave of gratitude blackened with a deep sense of guilt. Neil was looking at me so worriedly. I suddenly felt so embarrassed by everything.

"Neil." I quickly began to blurt out. "Thank you so so much. I'm so so sorry about...

"Save it." I was cut off curtly by Neil. I looked at him from under my eyelashes and shrank away. He had stood from the chair and now loomed over me. He looked so angry.

"Do you have any idea what you've just put me through?" He spat at me accusingly. "After not hearing a peep from you for nearly two hours I went to search for you. Then I found you, a heap on the floor, looking like you were half dead. I thought you had collapsed, fainted, you could have had a concussion..."

I flinched as Neil's sharp words hit me like a viscous whip. I let out a small sob as his well deserved tirade continued. "If it wasn't for not finding any bumps, cuts or bruises I wouldn't have guessed that you were just passed out asleep. The nearest doctor was a town over. I had to carry you back. Then I had to leave you whilst I fetched your livestock..."

I couldn't hear what he was saying anymore. I could only hear this horrible wretched noise, coming from my chest, and I could feel myself shaking uncontrollably. With shock I realised that I was sobbing wildly, I tried to stop but couldn't. I felt the hot stinging tears stream down my face.

I heard a small sharp intake of breath, I struggled to make out Neil through my blurred vision. He looked torn, almost guilty, as he took a small step towards me. "Rachael." He said quietly. "Please don't... I didn't mean to make you cry."

I suddenly felt very vulnerable like my skin had been torn away, revealing everything I had struggled to keep inside. I threw my hands in front of my eyes, I didn't want Neil to see me like this. "Go away!" I screamed at him. "Leave me alone!"

I didn't hear any retreating footsteps, I didn't hear a door open. I did hear the squeak of my bed as a person sat down next to me, I did feel a hand ever so softly graze my arm then gently wrap around my shoulders. I tried to shrug it off but it just tightened its grip. After a while I gave up and let myself be comforted. I appreciated the warm physical touch of another human being. I rested my head on Neil's chest and cried until I was all cried out. With a last heaving sob I went silent and my body went still. I couldn't bring myself to look up at Neil, I wasn't sure it was even him anymore. I didn't feel like myself, just numb.

"I can't do it anymore." I whispered into the empty stillness. "I've tried so hard but it's all too much. I'll have to let everyone down."

I felt like I was confessing a dirty secret but it felt good to say it out loud. I felt a gentle squeeze as a soft voice tried to explain. "It's okay, everyone will understand. No one expects you to... You'll get hurt if... Dunhill will..."

With the mention of Dunhill I tore myself away from Neil. I looked at him wide eyed in panic. What if he had told someone about my breakdown, what if he had told Dunhill. Dunhill would tell my father. They'd be so disappointed, stop me from doing all of my work. I began to hyperventilate. "Have... Have you told anyone?" I managed to get out.

Neil looked confused and then he looked conflicted, he furrowed his brow. "No but I think I should." He confessed.

"Please don't." I began to plead.

"Okay. Okay." Neil quickly agreed. "I get it, I do. You have to promise to slow down, to not let yourself get hurt."

"I won't!" I quickly agreed.

"Not good enough." Growled Neil. "You have to promise, mean it, or I'll have no choice..."

I looked him straight in the eye. "I promise." I whispered. He seemed satisfied and didn't push the matter further.

I suddenly felt so exhausted again, all the energy had been sapped out of me.

I watched Neil stand up, he looked very uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I better go" He awkwardly said. "It's late and you need to rest."

I knew it was selfish but I didn't want him to go. I didn't want to fall asleep alone. I wasn't even sure I was really awake, none of this seemed real. "Stay" I slurred as I reached for his hand drowsily. I let go as I collapsed back into the cushions. I was half aware as I thought I heard a voice whisper "Okay." My heavy lids closed and I feel asleep instantly.


	12. The Animal Sanctuary - Neil's P.O.V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally managed to pump out this chapter. What do you think? Any suggestions? I may move things round a little. I've been trying to capture Neil. I don't know if I've made him to soft or to harsh. I hope you enjoy it anyway. I'm excited about the upcoming chapters.

I stood slouched over the wooden tabletop, leaning down on one arm for support. The other arm was preoccupied with holding the tiny black plastic electric fan up to my face. It blared irritatingly into my eardrums and cascadingly blew strands of blonde hair in and out off my eyes. I sighed and raised my free arm to rest my chin on top of my fist. The summer season had turned out to be what one would call an "Indian Summer." It was overbearing and showed no sign of relenting, odd this close to Autumn. I stared down longingly at the heavy buckled amethyst coat next to me. I felt naked without it on. I was what some people would refer to as "cold-blooded" but the harsh summer heat had defeated me. Despite the efforts of the small fan I could still feel the sweat gathering on my forehead, the nape of my neck, on the small of my back. I had long stopped trying to wipe it away, the moisture replaced itself just as quickly. It matted my hair to my head and my black T-shirt stuck uncomfortably close to my skin. I growled irritated that I couldn't control my own bodily functions.

I looked over sympathetically at the livestock that was huddled in the small white picketed pen. They must feel ten times worse with their fur covered skins and thick woolen coats. A Large open Gazebo tent shaded them from the sun and a large modern solar powered fan blew a steady stream of cool air into the pen.

I let out a small sigh, business had been slow all morning. I hated the lack of financial opportunities but on the other hand I didn't have the energy to deal with too many people. Speaking of people I heard an extremely aggravating person shouting over to me.

"Neil!" Rod shouted "Hey,Neil!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb, I could feel the beginnings of a painful headache start to pound in my temple. Rod had become my "business neighbour" about a week ago. The child-minded man, during work hours, had become the vain of my existence. Within minutes of our acquaintance I had come to the conclusion that Rod was one of the most annoying people that I had ever met. His overbearing go-lucky attitude was nauseating. Rod was the epitome of what I despised in a person, the complete opposite from myself. I had been down right rude, insulting and unreasonable to the guy. Despite my best efforts I couldn't shake him off. In fact Rod seemed completely blissfully unaware to my efforts and kept coming back like a boomerang. However, I couldn't help but to begrudgingly respect the admiration that Rod showed to his 'pets'. From that respect a small bud of hard acknowledged friendship had begun to blossom. I thought of Rod as a poor naive puppy whom I had been forced to adopt because if left to their own devices the said 'puppy' would cause self-inflicted disaster.

I continued to pretend that I couldn't hear Rod, hoping that he would leave me alone. After an endless chorus of "Neil. Hey, Neil!" I snapped. "What!" I roared impatiently as I flicked off the fan.

Rod gave a boyish grin and scratched his nose."I was wondering if you could give me some tips, you know, to draw people in." He hopefully inquired. "I haven't had a single customer all morning let alone many this week." He whined. Rod looked thoughtful. "Could it be me?" He mused."Do I smell funny? Is it the way I look? Is there a problem with the road into town?"

I placed my face into my palm and shook it slowly. "Rod." I began to explain with a forced patience. "What did you expect when you set up a stall, in a dingy town, in the middle of nowhere? Business isn't exactly booming around here."

Rod looked at me blankly before he laughed. He scratched his nose again as he replied "I liked the idea of living in the countryside. I didn't expect business to be as fast paced as the city but this..." Rod shook his head and smiled to himself. "Nah, I'm sure business will pick up soon." He finished.

I shook my head again, this time in disbelief. Rod was optimistic to the point of deluded. I didn't even bother to answer him. I placed the electric fan down and drew out a magazine, 'Ranching Weekly', from under my desk. I sighed as I began to flicker idly through it.

"Hey, Neil." I heard again a few minutes later. "I'm busy." I growled.

"No, you're not."Rod replied matter of factly. "I can see you."

I rolled my eyes and snapped the magazine shut. "What now?" I demanded.

Oblivious Rod asked "How about those customer service tips? I've been thinking about it. Impress the customers, they'll spread the word, entice more people in."

He looked at me excited, expectantly. Poor guy, he really wasn't getting it. I swear he was missing multiple brain cells. I tried to put my answer into a simple one that even Rod would understand. "People, around these parts, don't want good customer service. They want to buy whatever the heck it is they want to buy and be on their way. Plain and simple, no wasting time fooling around."

Rod mulled over my reply, cheek resting on top of his fist."Yeah." He drawled out."But what if..."

I switched off, It was like talking to a brick wall. In fact a brick wall would have been better, it wouldn't have talked back. I zoned back in as Rod was finishing his lengthy monologue. "What do you think?"

I silently thanked a higher power when I was saved from answering. Iroha sheepishly walked over and quietly said "Hi, Rod."

Iroha smiled sweetly and fiddled nervously with the tools on her belt. "Hey." Rod beamed back. "How ya doin?"

"G..good."Iroha stammered. Her cheeks flushed and she looked down at her shoes. I scoffed and turned my attention away from the pathetic scene. Rod was painfully oblivious. Any person, with half a brain, could see that Iroha liked Rod. The confusing part was why. She wouldn't have come to see him everyday he'd been open this week if she didn't. It was always as she passed by on her "Way to the mines". I turned my attention back to my magazine. I left them to their own devices, they could work it out for themselves.

I was reading an article on a cow that had given birth to triplets when my interest was aroused again. I heard the familiar dragging of a pair of boots and an all too familiar voice that piped up "Hey, what's up guys?" Rachael was trudging her way over to where Rod and Iroha were situated.

I slyly raked my eyes over her feminine curvy petite frame. I couldn't regret the fact that the intense summer heat had forced Rachael to ditch her ugly baggy dungarees, instead she now donned a more suitable outfit of trendy work shorts. I couldn't help but to appreciate her sun-kissed skin, her bare arms, her exposed lean legs, and her long swaying sun-bleached blonde hair. It wasn't until this summer that I had really noticed that Rachael was a woman, quite an attractive one at that. It didn't mean anything, I was just a man who's intrigue was peaked by the allure of an appealing woman. Normally that attraction passed as soon as she opened her mouth. As I watched I heard her laugh, it rang out like a chime of bells.

Not being overly interested in Iroha's poor display of flirting, Rod's clueless idiocy or Rachael's silly antics I turned my attention back to what I had been doing, drumming my fingers lightly on the hard-grain wood. Now and again patches of the conversation reached my ears. I smirked to myself when I learned that Rod had agreed to visit Iroha's house after work, on the pretence of trying to fix her faulty water supply. I had to give the blacksmith her due, she was more cunning than I would have given her credit for.

My ears burned a short while later when I heard my name crop up in the ongoing conversation. I caught the end of Rod saying "Neil's been teaching me the ropes." I groaned internally as I turned my attention back to Rachael and Rod, Iroha had vanished.

Rachael laughed, showing a set of pearly white teeth. She glimpsed over at me, flashing a playful smirk. "Really?"she asked Rod sarcastically. "Has he showed you the part yet were he scares away his customers with his award-winning scowl."

I scowled, she knew just what to say and just what buttons to press. I glared over at her, I swear she went out of her way to make my life a hell of a lot harder than it had to be. "You know I can hear you, right?" I called over irritably.

"Oh Neil!" Rachael sang as she twirled around to face me. "Just the guy I wanted to see." I scoffed as she pretended to notice me for the first time. I watched unimpressed as she pranced her way over to me. When I saw her face I felt my brow furrow. There was no other way to put it, she looked dreadful. She had large dark circles under her eyes, red veins stood out around her irises, her eyes watered, and despite the heat she had a sickly-pale complexion. It was like she hadn't slept in days, like she were a living walking zombie.

I appraised her coolly, what had made her get herself in such a state. "You look awful." I observed. I wasn't one to sugarcoat anything. Rachael looked taken aback for a moment before she shook her head, that playful smirk danced around her lips. She mockingly placed a hand over her heart and declared "Wow, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. If you keep up this level of flattery we'll be hitched by next week."

Not ready for her statement I felt my features twist with horror and disgust. An alarming image of Rachael in a puffy white wedding dress and veil flashed through my mind, I was standing miserable by her side. Rachael threw me a wink and burst into giggles, I heard Rod's laughter joining in. I glared at Rod, he coughed and instantly shut up. I scowled at the blonde farmer, despite appearances her bubbly attitude appeared to be unaffected. I shook my head disapprovingly, why couldn't she ever take herself seriously. Didn't she realise how unhealthy she looked, an uncontrolled seed of worry burst in my chest. "Really." I began seriously, giving her an accusative glare."You look like you haven't slept in days."

Rachael blinked and her laughter suddenly faltered, her brow furrowed and her teeth came down on her lower lip. She stared off into space and I sighed quietly to myself. It was so like her to be completely unaware of what was happening to herself, immersed in what was happening to everyone else. I felt a sudden strange urge to protect her, to make sure that she was okay, to make her see. "Maybe you should get some rest." I told Rachael softly.

Rachael came back to herself and she seemed to cringe away from the suggestion. When she looked back at me her eyes flashed, she folded her arms defensively and jutted out her chin. "I can't." She retaliated. "I have too much to do. I need to go to the Animal Sanctuary. That's what I came here for actually."

Rachael had just answered two questions for me. Firstly I knew why she was here and annoying me. Secondly I realised why she looked so exhausted, it was because she was. I bet that she was working herself into the ground. Restoring the town, and keeping up with a farm, was catching up to her. Heck, she'd finished building a whole cottage just last week. I could see it, in every request for help that she accepted, in every encouraging word that she spoke, in every smile, in her stubborn pout and steeled eyes. The girl was determined to bring this town back from the brink of its demise, she was starting to as well despite the self-sacrificing consequences that she had to endure. This town, it's residents, had put Rachael on top of a pedestal. They saw her like a deity, their saviour. They were oblivious to the cracks in the surface, to the unintentional damage that they were inflicting, to the huge weight that they were putting on one person's shoulders. Rachael had become the physical representation of their hopes and dreams. To them she was indestructible, could accomplish anything. Rachael was scared of disappointing others, scared of saying no. The more that she gave the more that was expected.

I looked Rachael hard in the eyes. "No, really..." I began to argue. I was cut off by Rachael's icy glare. She set her jaw and placed her hands on her hips, she looked like she was riling herself up for an argument. "Neil." Rachael started. "The Cow Festival is next week and I need to take Belle to the Animal Sanctuary."

I smiled a little to myself, she couldn't quite pull of being so stubborn. It looked out of place on her, like a kitten trying to be a tiger. At least I knew why she was so fixated on going to the Animal Sanctuary now, the more time that her cow spent there the more chance it had of winning the festival. You could see the fire in her eyes, she was determined to win. I had seen her cow, 'Belle', it was in good shape.

I stared at Rachael solemnly, wondering if it was worth arguing, wondering if I could talk her down. I saw the steel in her blue eyes and knew that I wouldn't be able to, it would be a waste of time. The best I could do was to go with her and make sure that she didn't get into any trouble. Even if I refused she'd find a way to get there on her own, even if she had to hitchhike. I dropped my gaze, backed down and let out a defeated sigh.

Rachael dropped her stubborn posture suddenly and blinked at me blankly in surprise. A moment later she regarded me through narrowed eyes. I rolled my eyes, reading her train of thought. It wasn't that I didn't have a corner to fight back from it was because I didn't see the point. "Even if I said no you'd still find a way to get there anyway." I explained. "At least if I go with you I can make sure you don't hurt yourself."

Rachael pouted and huffed "Fine." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Why was it that when women said they were fine they meant the complete opposite.

"You'll have to wait while I pack the store up, and take my animals back, then I'll go get the van." I explained. Rachael nodded once, I cursed her stubbornness as I turned to clear away. I turned the 'Open' sign around to 'Closed'. The animals gave out a loud chorus of dissatisfaction from being roused from their afternoon naps and by having their grazing disturbed. When I took one last look over at Rachael she was with Rod, helping him fed his pets. She laughed as they lunged at their food bowls, a kitten nuzzled her hand and she scratched a puppy affectionately behind it's ear. I smiled a little to myself, she was good with animals and animals always responded readily to the love that was shown to them. I could always trust a person that animals trusted, animals were the best judges of character.

Half an hour later I strolled back into the town plaza, I looked around for Rachael. I stopped when I spotted her laughing and talking with Rod. I felt a shot of impatience, she could at least have been ready to go. "Come on, the vans ready!." I shouted. Rachael turned around and gave me a quick nod. She said her farewells to Rod and started to make her way over, I raised my eyebrows and tapped my foot impatiently on the ground. Rachael didn't pick up her pace and rolled her eyes when she reached me. "Geez, I'm here." She said. "Don't get your knickers in a bunch."

I glared at her, annoyed, indicating that she should shut up. "Follow me." I commanded. "I've parked the van just outside of town, I've loaded your livestock into the trailer." I started to walk out of town, not looking back to see if Rachael was following me or not.

I clutched the steering wheel tightly and stared out of the windscreen. I could almost taste the awkward tension in the air. I hated being alone with another person in a confined space for a long period of time. I didn't know if I should attempt to make meaningless small talk, was I prohibited to in this type of situation, did she even want to talk. I glanced over. Rachael was sitting with her hands folded neatly in her lap, watching the world go by out of the side door window. She sighed quietly to herself every now and again. The uncomfortable silence stretched on, it was disturbed occasionally by the disgruntled calls of the livestock in the trailer. Rachael caught my attention when she reached over to turn on the radio. I was glad that she had thought to do so and annoyed that I hadn't thought to do so myself earlier. She had to fiddle with the radio frequencies until she found one that worked, a song blared out. I recognised it instantly and it seemed that Rachael did to.

"I'm a Joker, I'm a Smoker, I'm a Midnight Toker." She sang along.

I looked at her surprised that she knew the song. Rachael caught my eye and stopped singing suddenly, she flushed and turned her attention back out of the window. I caught glimpses at the back of her head. I wouldn't have expected her to know an old classic American Rock song. It was true that it was well known, I bet she just knew the chorus. Curiosity got the better of me as I asked "You know this song?"

Rachael turned around to look at me surprised. "Yeah." She responded automatically. "It's The Joker, by Steve Miller Band, 1973, Right?"

I was almost impressed, she didn't outwardly strike me as the type of girl who'd like to listen to this style of music. I realised it was something we had in common and I couldn't help but to warm to her more, music was one of the things I loved most in the world. "Yeah." I answered Rachael sounding a little unsure.

"You don't sound too confident." I heard Rachael remark. I glanced over to find her looking at me, a glint in her eye and a smirk playing about her lips. "You know I'll be personally offended If you don't actually know this song." She warned.

I scoffed and threw her an irritated scowl, she was insulting me. "Of course I know this song." I snapped. I wanted to say that'd be more likely to be the other way around but I thought better of it. I could picture her dancing around her house, with a hairbrush, blurting out tasteless pop songs.

"What?" I heard Rachael ask indignantly.

I glanced over at her and the mental image popped up again. "Nothing." I smirked.

Rachael folded her arms and raised a curved eyebrow. "Neil." She warned.

I glanced over at her, I saw no harm in telling her if she really wanted to know. I would just have categorised her as the type of air-headed girl who'd listen to One Direction because she thought they were cute. The type of girl who'd listen to a hundred songs about a guy love-struck over a girl or about a girl heartbroken over a guy. I pretended to cough as unrestrained laughter escaped from my lips. "Well..." I began. "You just didn't strike me as the type who'd listen to this genre of music. You look like the kind of girl who likes listening to Taylor Swift or Katy Perry."

Rachael absorbed what I had said before she playfully smacked me on the arm. "I'm offended." She mocked. "I don't like being stereotyped. In fact I'll have you know I grew up listening to old American Rock, my old man loves it."

I raised my eyes a little, surprised again. It seemed it wasn't just this one particular song she liked and knew. I had to admit that I was impressed. I felt a new respect for the blonde farmer and strangely for her father as well. I couldn't let it rest at this, I had to get one back over on her. I smirked at Rachael. "I bet you still listen to cheesy pop music." I teased.

Rachael opened her mouth, took a breath, hesitated and then closed it again. She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. "And?" She asked raising an eyebrow. "What's so wrong with cheesy pop music?"

I knew it. I bit back a humourless laugh. I raised an incredulous eyebrow. I already had a sound argument as to what was just so wrong with it. Before I could express my case a new song blared out of the radio. I snapped my mouth shut. After a few seconds I recognised it as the song 'We are never ever getting back together' by Taylor Swift.

Rachael bust out laughing, one hand clutching her stomach. What a coincidence? Her peels of infectious laughter rang out around the van. I set my mouth into a tight line, staring out of the windscreen, fighting the urge to laugh. If I did I'd never hear the end of it. However, as the song persisted it became harder to resist the urge. A snort of laughter escaped me, I broke down as I began to laugh. It mixed with her laughter and I liked it.

Shortly after we arrived at the Animal Sanctuary. We herded the willing animals out of the trailer, through the unlocked gate and into the enclosed meadow. I really liked it here, it was one of the few places I found that I could feel completely at ease. It was the essence of peaceful, a beautiful picture. It was almost timeless, you could stay here and forget that the rest of the world existed.

Once inside the meadow the animals quickly scattered away, trying to find a good place to graze or to seek shade. Rachael made out to follow them, I quickly reached out and grabbed her arm. Rachael stopped and flinched. Turning to face me she asked "Neil?"

I was worried that if left to her own devices, if she wondered too far away, she could get hurt. In her current state I was worried that any more exertion would push her over. I felt like it would be on my head if anything happened to her while we were here. "Where are you wondering off to?" I reproached her sternly.

Rachael looked at me incredulously, then she looked at my hand grasping her arm firmly. "To check on my livestock." She replied indignantly.

Rachael jerked her arm way, my hand fell to my side. I looked at her, torn. I couldn't exactly tell her what to do, she was a grown woman. I thought about offering to help her make a round to all of her livestock then thought better of it. I knew she'd ask why, then point blank refuse when I told her. I'd never helped her before and she'd claim that she could do things on her own.

I suddenly felt angry and fed-up with Rachael. If she didn't want to help herself why should I bother so much. Rachael wasn't stupid, she knew what she was doing. Maybe she didn't feel as bad as she looked. The Animal Sanctuary was a safe haven. "Just be careful." I warned her, it was the best I could do without risking an argument or a reproach.

Rachael looked at me doubtfully before she smiled softly. "I'll be fine." She reassured. "Don't be such a worry wort or you'll get wrinkles." She added. I scowled while she turned and pranced away.

Left alone I went over to the shade of a near by tree, I plonked down underneath it. The sun was softer here, more pleasant. It warmed rather than scorched. There was a light refreshing breeze that danced through the meadow. I shrugged my coat back on, happy that I could cope to wear it again. I took my battered old Ipod out of my jeans pocket and plugged my earphones in. I leaned my head back on the tree trunk and turned the music up. I closed my eyes, blotting out the world. I went into a semi-conscious state, I felt the glow of the sun and the wind in my hair. I let the loud music drown out my thoughts, it filled my mind and body.

When the sound of the music abruptly ended I slowly opened my eyes. I looked down at my Ipod to see that I had run through the playlist that I had been listening to. I checked the time. I raised my eyebrows surprised, it had been nearly two hours. I took out my ear phones and stuffed my Ipod back into my pocket. I stood up stiffly and stretched out my numb limbs. The sun hung low in the west. I spotted Rachael's livestock, dispersed around the meadow. They were either grazing or dozing. Amongst them I couldn't see a trace of the farmer. I stifled a yawn, I supposed I had better go and look for her. It was almost time to leave. Time, I bet she'd lost track of it like I had.

"Hey, Rachael." I called as I strolled over the hill. "It's time to go!"

When I didn't receive an answer I carried on to the top of the hill, expecting her to be out of hearing range. When I reached the top I scanned the rolling pasture. My eyes reached the bottom of the next small hill and I felt my blood run cold. I stared at the small white creature, a stark contrast to the green grass that it laid on, wondering what it was. I blinked, it took a second for my mind to catch up to what my gut already knew. I ran as fast as I could down the hill, stumbling in my haste.

When I reached Rachael I threw myself down beside her, my breath caught in my throat and my heart bet rapidly. She looked as pale as a ghost, she lay on her back with her head lolled back. Her golden hair splayed around her head and her closed eyes sunk into her face. I leaned down and felt her light shallow breaths against my cheek. I stroked her neck and felt the steady thump of her heart beneath my fingertips. I let out a sigh of relief and forced myself to calm down. I thought that she may have passed out unconscious, fainted or collapsed. I started to panic again when I realised that she could have a concussion. I hastily swept her hair back from her forehead and felt the soft clammy skin there. I gently lifted the back of her head up and checked there to. I concluded that she couldn't have hit her head, there wasn't any bumps, cuts or bruises. I examined her arms and legs, there didn't seem to be any there to. Rachael's eyes twitched, she groaned, stretched out, turned her head, and lay perfectly still again. I heard her give out a small sigh and realised with a jolt that she was just asleep, so deeply asleep it was like she was comatose. Being here she must have succumbed to her exhaustion, allowed herself to rest and had passed out. I shook my head once and laughed without humour. I carefully picked her up, my arm cradled her head and she stirred slightly.

I opened Rachael's front door quietly, I breathed a small sigh of relief when I saw that she hadn't moved. I hadn't wanted to leave her but I couldn't have left her animals. I silently pulled up a kitchen chair and placed it at the foot of the bed. I slumped in the chair feeling weary. I looked at Rachael breathing lightly in her sleep. Her hands were folded under her head and she smiled softly, like she was dreaming a happy dream. She looked so fragile and vulnerable, like silk wrapped over a piece of glass. At the sight I felt a surge of protectiveness again. I unconsciously leaned over and gently moved away a stray lock of hair that had fallen into her eyes. I froze when she sighed and I quickly moved my hand away.

I watched as Rachael's eyelids struggled to flutter open. When they did she blinked a few times, becoming aware of her surroundings. Rachael suddenly gasped loudly and sat bolt upright, her eyes scanned the room wildly. I reached out and gently squeezed her arm. "It's okay, calm down." I softly commanded. Rachael startled, her frenzied eyes turned on me, she relaxed when she saw that it was me.

"Neil." Rachael croaked. "What's going on?"

I tried to be reassuring as I quietly explained "I found you asleep." My brow furrowed as I added "I thought you'd passed out."

Rachael seemed to think my words over before she worked herself up to a fresh round of panic. "Neil." She exclaimed. "Where are the animals?"

I pushed her back down into the bed, worried about her heart rate and blood pressure. "Relax." I said. "They're fine, all of them are back in the barn. You were out like a light, I went back and fetched them."

Rachael blew out a sigh of relief, she relaxed and leaned back into the pillows. A moment later her face twisted with worry and she gnawed on her cracked bottom lip. I was about to ask her what was wrong when she gushed out "Neil. Thank you so so much. I'm so so sorry..."

Hearing her apologise, I paused. I felt something inside of me suddenly change and twist. She had the audacity to say "Thank you" and "Sorry" like it would make everything better. If it weren't for her I wouldn't have been put through this ordeal. A beast rose, I felt hot anger roll through me, I snapped.

"Save it." I interrupted her mid-sentence. Rachael stopped and blinked at me. I stood up, the chair screeching back in protest, I loomed over her. Rachael took in my expression, my posture, and shrank away. "Do you have any idea what you've just put me through?" I accusingly spat at her. "After not hearing a peep from you, for nearly two hours, I went to search for you. Then I found you, a heap on the floor, looking like you were half dead. I thought you had collapsed, fainted, you could have had a concussion..."

I carried on with my viscous tirade, not thinking or caring about anything else. "If it wasn't for not finding any bumps, cuts or bruises I wouldn't have guessed that you were just passed out asleep. The nearest doctor was a town over. I had to carry you back. Then I had to leave you whilst I fetched your livestock..." I stopped, taking in a long breath.

I was about to finish my lecture when I heard an awful wretched sobbing. I followed the source of the sound and sucked in a breath. It was Rachael, she was weeping her heart out. Tears streamed down her face, her chest heaved and strangled cries left her lips. My anger left me suddenly, replaced by shame and guilt. I instantly regretted what I had said. I felt rotten inside for what I had caused. I took a small step towards her, not knowing what to do. "Rachael." I said tentatively. "Please don't... I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Go away!" Rachael suddenly screamed, throwing her face into her hands. "Leave me alone!"

I couldn't respect her wishes, I couldn't leave her alone like this. I had little experience with dealing with tears, however, I had caused plenty to fall. I didn't know what to say. I realised perhaps I didn't have to say anything. I hesitatingly sat down on the bed, next to Rachael, it creaked under my weight. Rachael flinched when I lightly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave a little squeeze. I had expected her to shake me off, to tell me to leave again. She didn't, she hesitated before leaning her head into my chest. She stained my shirt with her tears and I held her tighter against her wracking sobs. Now and again I stroked her long hair, it felt more natural than I would have thought.

After a while Rachael let out one last heaving sob and stopped, becoming still against my chest. She didn't move and neither did I. I turned my head down towards her as she began to speak, her voice was hoarse. "I can't do it anymore." She whispered into the still room, not really speaking to me. "I've tried so hard but it's all too much. I'll have to let everyone down."

I felt my brow crease. I understood what she was getting at, was this the reason why she was so upset? I could guess what it had took for her to admit what she just had. I squeezed her arm comfortingly. I had to try to explain that she wouldn't be letting anybody down, that it was okay to put herself first sometimes. "It's Okay..." I struggled. "Everyone will understand. No one expects you to... You'll get hurt if... Dunhill will..."

Rachael snapped her head up, tearing herself away, facing me with wide eyes. "Have... Have you told anyone?" She managed to ask through deep rasping breaths.

I looked worriedly at her panic-stricken face. At that moment I felt conflicted, I didn't know what to tell her. I felt compelled to tell Dunhill, he could get through to her and the restoration plans were his idea. I mulled it over before saying "No but I think that I should."

"Please don't." Rachael pleaded through tear-stained eyes. I hesitated, I didn't want to set her off again. I knew that she wouldn't have wanted anyone to know, she was scared of disappointing them and scared of being weak. I'd have felt the same. However, I knew that if she carried on down this path she could really hurt herself next time. I knew that she couldn't be stopped from doing what she loved to do, what she was so determined to do. What she could do was slow down, ask for more help, work at a more manageable pace. She had to realise it wasn't a race to get the town back up and running again.

"Okay. Okay." I quickly relented. "I get it, I do."

I looked her in the eyes as I demanded "You have to promise to slow down, to not let yourself get hurt."

Rachael nodded. "I won't!" She quickly agreed.

Wasn't she taking this seriously, I had to believe her. "Not good enough." I growled. "You have to promise."

Rachael looked me dead in the eyes. "I promise." She whispered. I felt satisfied by her response, satisfied with the sincerity in her words. I didn't feel the need to push things further.

Rachael sagged forward suddenly, clearly still exhausted. I stood up reluctantly. I had to go, she needed to be left to rest. I knew that I had to leave, I had to clear my head. I had felt close to her tonight, a closeness that made me uncomfortable. She had brought out and tangled the emotions I tried so hard to keep under control, I needed to separate them again. I felt something towards her that I hadn't felt towards someone for a long time, it scared me. She made my mind foggy, made me unable to think clearly. I had let her get under my skin. I had let her get too close. I had to take a step back before I suffered for it or before she did.

"I better go." I awkwardly said. "It's late and you need to rest."

I turned to go but was stopped when a hand grasped mine. I stiffened and looked down at Rachael. She was looking up at me through half lidded eyes. "Don't go." She slurred drowsily. "Okay." I heard myself whisper. I couldn't leave her, not if she didn't want me to. I'd stay until she fell asleep again. I fought the better judgement of my mind as I sat down again. Rachael let my hand go and sank back against the pillows. She sighed and closed her eyes, a satisfied smile on her lips.


	13. Unexpected Help

"In the heart of a seed,  
Buried deep so deep,  
A tiny plant  
Lay fast asleep."

I sang as I danced and twirled through the endless rows of sunflowers. They stretched high above my head, desperately reaching to kiss the clear blue sky above. They glowed brilliantly, like the glorious Sun that they were named after.

"Wake," said the sunshine,  
"And creep to the light."  
"Wake," said the voice  
Of the raindrops bright."

I sprinkled fresh cold water onto the parched Earth. I stroked a leaf, caressed a stem. I glowed with pride. My sunflowers had thrived, they had overcome the challenge of the harsh climate, they had escaped the cruel fate that nature could have had in store for them.

"The little plant heard  
And it rose to see,  
What the wonderful,  
Outside world might be. "

I laughed loudly to myself, enthralled by it all. I could smell the damp earth, I could taste the sweetness of the early morning air, I was vitally aware of the buds of life that surrounded me. I was experiencing nature in it's purest form, I could feel it like a beating heart. Nature could be brutal and it could be kind, it could give and it could take. I suddenly remembered the city, the place that I had spent most of my life in. I smiled to myself, it seemed so ugly and faraway to me now. I could never regret coming here, if I hadn't I would never have got to experience this every morning.

I let out a high pitched squeal when I saw the row of sunflowers part to the side of me. I dropped my golden watering-can, it thudded to the ground and water pooled at my feet. My hand flew to my heart when I saw a head emerge through the gap, it was as yellow as the sunflowers. I could feel a scream beginning to build in the back of my throat. A tall man emerged into the clearing that he had made. A man with a mop of blonde hair, a buckled amethyst coat and biker boots. "Neil." I said dumbfounded.

"There you are!" Neil scowled. "Didn't you hear me?"

My breath was caught in my throat and my heart still bet rapidly.

"Obviously not." Neil answered his own question. He quirked an eyebrow as he took in the sight of me. "Were you singing?" He asked me suddenly.

I blinked, surprised. "Yes, it helps the plants grow." I replied as though it were the most normal thing in the world.

Neil looked at me blankly, then he looked at me like I was crazy. "Erm, right, okay." He coughed. "You're just singing to plants, nothing wrong with that."

I narrowed my eyes and pursed my lips. I poked Neil in the chest and then I placed my hands on my hips. "I'm not crazy." I defended. "It's perfectly natural. It's been scientifically proven to benefit a plants health and growth."

Neil smirked. Ugh, I really didn't have the energy for him. I was not in the mood and I didn't appreciate the disturbance to my peaceful morning. "What do you want?" I snapped. "Did you come by just to give me a heart attack?"

Neil looked taken aback before he laughed "No."

It beat me, Neil had never honoured me to this extent at the farm before. "Then why..." I began to ask.

Neil lowered his gaze and scowled. "I thought I'd come and see if you needed any help." He confessed quietly.

I stared at him blankly, I didn't expect that. I flushed, embarrassed, when I thought and put two and two together. My mind flashed back to the events of the night before yesterday. He must have come by to see how I was coping, he was still worried despite my promise. Never in a million years would I have thought he'd be capable of being so sweet. The thing was that I hadn't spoken to or seen Neil since that night. I didn't know if I should or if I wanted to speak about it.

I touched Neil's arm softly. "Thank you." I said gently. "I appreciate the offer but I'm fine, honestly. I've rested and it's done me the world of good."

Neil looked at my hand on his arm then he subtly looked me over. His eyes landed back on mine and he gave a small smile. He seemed pleased. "Good." He said, not offering anything else.

I dropped my arm. "Isn't today your day off?" I asked.

"Yes, and?" Neil replied, waiting to see what I would say.

"And?" I said suggestively. "Isn't there anything else you'd rather be doing on your day...

"Do you want my help or not?" Neil curtly cut me off.

"I'm not one to say no to voluntary labour." I laughed. "Lets just get out of the sunflower bed." I added, picking up my watering can.

I walked over to the fence that encircled the barn, Neil followed behind me. I smiled at the grazing animals in the pen. I leaned back against the fence and thought about what else I needed to do. The crops were already watered, the soil already turned, the seeds already sowed. The logical thing seemed to be to get him to help out with the livestock. Besides I had seen the potted plant on Neil's front step, it did not look good.

Neil stood in front of me waiting for instructions. "You know where the barn is." I said. "Unless you want to help me fertilise the crops."

Neil grimaced and scrunched up his nose. "No, thanks." He said. "I'll pass."

"Are you sure?" I laughed. "I use my very own manure, you can get stuck right in."

"Definitely." Neil grimaced again before he headed towards the barn.

I snagged the hairbrush through my gnarled hair. The cold shower had been divine. I no longer smelt of sweat, dirt and manure. I loved feeling clean and refreshed again after a hard mornings work. I threw my towel dried hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. I looked at myself in the mirror. My skin had darkened considerably during the summer, more freckles had formed across my checks and nose, my lips were dry and cracked, and there was a crease between my eyes that refused to be smoothed out. I felt that the girl staring back at me was different from the one that had begrudgingly left the city behind. I dressed in ripped frayed denim shorts, a tank top and flip-flops.

I walked down the path from the house towards the barn. I tried to walk quietly, it was rather hard whilst wearing flip-flops and with being naturally heavy-footed. It was my turn to catch Neil unaware. I was getting ready to try to scare him when I poked my head around the barn door. Instead I stopped, intrigued, when I saw Neil. I watched as he put a pile of dirty hay in a wheelbarrow and put fresh hay down. He leaned the pitchfork up against the wall. I froze and stared. Neil breathed heavily and removed his plain short sleeved black t-shirt to wipe the sweat off his face and neck. For a few moments I only thought about how surprisingly muscular he was. He was slim but sturdy and well-built. When my thoughts caught up to me I let out a small high-pitched squeal. I quickly spun around whilst my hands came up to cover my eyes. I could feel my face burning. "Come up to the house when you've finished." I squeaked out. "I'm cooking us dinner." I walked away as quickly as I could without running.

Dinner spluttered and sizzled in the pan, the wafting smell made my stomach growl. I wondered what was taking Neil so long. I was beginning to get antsy, a small part of me worried that he'd just left. If he wasn't here after I'd dished up I'd go and check on him. A new song came on the small kitchen radio, I immediately turned it up. I danced stupidly around my small kitchen, stirring the pan every now and again. I twirled, jumped and pranced about whilst I used the wooden spoon as a make-shift microphone. "I'm just a teenage dirt bag baby." I sang loudly. "Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me."

I startled when I heard the front door shut. My hand flew to my heart as I spun around. I let out the breath that I'd sucked in when I saw that it was only Neil. I pointed the wooden spoon at him. "Stop doing that." I demanded.

"Stop what?" Neil asked innocently.

"You know what." I waved the wooden spoon at him. "My fragile heart can't take it."

"Nice dancing skills." Neil smirked as he made his way over to one of the wooden dinning chairs. "Lovely voice too." He added. "Trying to make it r..."

"Not. Another. Word." I tried to say sternly around a grin. "Sit down, dinner's almost ready."

I turned around to focus my attention back on cooking. I turned the radio off.

"How's my livestock doing?" I inquired with my back to Neil.

"Fine." He replied after a pause. "You're doing a good job with them."

I swivelled my head around to face him surprised. "Is that a compliment, from you?" I asked in mock horror.

Neil scowled and rolled his eyes. "Only a mere observation, don't get too excited." He warned. I stuck my tongue out at him and laughed.

I placed a steaming plate of food in front of Neil and then I sat down to eat opposite him. Neil looked surprised when he saw what was for dinner. He grimaced and inspected the food with his fork.

"What?" I sighed and rolled my eyes.

Neil looked at me seriously as he asked "Is this going to give me food poisoning?"

I glared at him. "Don't get on my bad side." I threatened. "I will come over there."

Neil didn't say anything, he just snorted and smirked. Oh, I hated that cocky smirk. He always smirked, scowled or grimaced but he hardly laughed. However, that smirk was cute. I shook my head slightly, why was I thinking that? There was something wrong with me today, my head wasn't on straight. When I looked at Neil properly I noticed that his hair was slightly damp and that he'd changed clothes. He must have freshened up at home, that's what had taken him so long.

"How is it?" I inquired after a few minutes silence.

"Mhm, it's good." Neil begrudgingly admitted.

I decided to ignore him. "Shrimp Chilli is your favourite, right?" I asked.

Neil nodded and swallowed his forkful of food. "How did you know?" He asked casually.

"It's a funny story." I started to explain. "I was talking to Hana about how she met her husband. Did you know they've been together for over fifty years..."

Neil gave me a look that said get to the point.

I rolled my eyes before I continued. "I asked her what her secret was and she said that the way to every man's heart is through his stomach. Then I told her I'd have to try that one if I ever wanted to nab myself a guy. Then for some reason we started talking about you."

"Me?" Neil said raising an arched eyebrow.

"Yeah." I said. "It was kind of weird. Hana asked me if I had my eye on anyone in town and I said no. I mean there's only you and Allen. Allen is just Allen and you are well you."

I thought of Iroha's infatuation with Rod and wondered if Neil had noticed. I rolled my eyes internally, surely the whole town had. My best friend wasn't very subtle. However, it made Rod totally unavailable. I paused for a moment wondering if I would ever go there and I internally cringed. Ugh, Rod felt way too much like a relative to ever be a potential love interest.

"I've noticed." Neil drawled.

"Then Hana started talking about how much of a great guy you are, you know, underneath your surliness."

Neil scowled and I quickly carried on. "Then she said that she was happy that we seemed to get along together because she thought you were a bit lonely."

Neil scowled again. "I asked one question." He said "What has..."

"Shh, let me finish, you'll see." Interrupted.

"Hana mentioned that she thought of us as her grandchildren and that she wanted the both of us to be happy. Then she gives me her personal recipe for Shrimp Chilli. I asked her what it was for and she said it was your favourite. Then she just winked at me and said I should put it to good use." I finished sucking in a breath.

Neil didn't say anything for a few moments, he seemed to be absorbing what I had said. "That is weird." He eventually mentioned. I don't think he knew what to say.

"I know, right." I agreed shaking my head. "I thought about it and I think she's trying to hook us up." I added without thinking.

Neil chocked on his food. "W-what." He stuttered.

"Be careful." I chided.

Neil looked alarmed. He opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish.

"Relax." I reassured him. "I love Hana but she's a batty old lady who gets the wrong idea."

Neil still looked panicked. "Don't worry." I said. "I find the thought of dating you nauseating. We're just friends. I mean can you imagine."

Neil grimaced. "The feeling's mutual and I really don't want to." He replied.

"I'm a catch." I laughed as Neil scrunched his face up.

I was still laughing as I began to clear the table. I threw a kitchen towel at Neil's head and he caught it. "Ill wash and you can dry." I instructed.

I followed Neil over to the front door, he walked out whilst I stood in the doorway. "Thank you, for today." I said. "I really appreciate it."

Neil looked away and I saw the corners of his ears turn red. "You're welcome." He mumbled.

Before I could stop myself I rose up on my tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Neil froze and flushed red. "W-what was that for?" He stuttered touching his cheek.

I averted my gaze and felt myself blush. "For everything." I said quietly.

Neil just stood there. I was worried that I had broken him. I waved my hand in front of him and said "Bye, Neil."

Neil shook his head. "R-right, bye." He said. He quickly turned and hurried away. I shook my head slightly and closed the door. Neil could be so shy for a guy who could be so intimidating. It was too easy to make him flustered. I smiled to myself when I pictured him blushing. I was right, he is cute.


	14. Girl's Night

I sighed in discontent as I idly searched through my meager DVD collection. How I missed Netflix but I could barely get cable TV all the way out here let alone a decent internet connection. I was contemplating between Mean Girls and The Notebook when I heard a soft knock on the door. I set the DVDS on top of the TV stand before I stood up slowly to answer the front door, I already knew who it would be.

I opened the door to Iroha who had a small duffle bag over one shoulder and she carried a string bag in one hand. My eyes were immediately drawn to the string bag.

"Did you bring food?" I asked impatiently.

Iroha blinked in surprise before she shook her head in disbelief and laughed, softer than a breeze passing through a wind chime.

"Hello to you too." Iroha reproached, she presented the string bag. "Of, course. I wouldn't have dared risk coming otherwise, you'd have bit my hand off."

I laughed heartily. "You know me too well." I acknowledged as I stepped aside to let her into the house. She gave me a look that said I know as she stepped over the threshold, I quickly deprived her of the bag as she walked past me into the living room.

I plonked down on the sofa, next to Iroha, as I hastily pulled open the string bag. I pawed through the contents, satisfied by the selection of snacks I came across. I pulled out an Oreo packet and set the bag aside at the foot of the sofa.

"Mean Girls or The Notebook?" I inquired to Iroha as I tore the packet open.

"It's your turn to pick." Iroha replied dismissively but added. "Which one would you suggest? I can't say I've heard of either."

I stared at Iroha, my mouth agape like a goldfish. "What?!" I over dramatically proclaimed. "How can you not have heard of them? They're chick-flick classics."

Iroha simply shrugged her shoulders as she explained matter of factly "I grew up surrounded by brothers, I can recommend a good action or horror film."

My heart went out to my friend, what else had she missed out on growing up with a pack of meatheads, I could have hugged her.

"That's it!" I fiercely stated. "We are watching both and you will become educated in the world of Rom-Com."

Iroha grimaced, not looking particularity excited. "I'm not submitting you to torture." I laughed.

Iroha raised an eyebrow that disagreed but she conceded "Fine but I could argue otherwise."

I laughed as I got up to walk over to the fridge, I could feel Iroha watching me, I drew out a bottle of wine and I fetched two glasses.

"You're not starting on the alcohol already are you?" Iroha asked inquisitively with raised eyes. "I think you have a problem."

I gave her a sour look, you wouldn't know it but Iroha had a funny bone.

"No." I replied drily. "It's for the gossip I know that you've been waiting to tell me."

Iroha looked like she didn't have a clue as to what I was on about. I laughed as I placed the wine and glasses on the coffee table. I poured two servings and I offered one to Iroha, she took it reluctantly with pierced lips. I was going to have to worm it out of her.

"A piece of gossip concerning Rod." I said slowly.

Iroha froze and her hand tightened around her glass. She averted her gaze and the faint tint of a pink blush stained her porcelain cheeks. "I don't have a clue as to what you could possibly mean." Iroha disregarded.

I poked her lightly in the arm. "Don't play coy." I reproached. "I know you have feelings for Rod, that's why you asked him to come over and fix your faulty water supply earlier this week."

Iroha's eyes widened, she choked and spluttered on the sip of wine that she had taken. I could have taken a softer approach in telling her that I knew about her crush but her expression was priceless, her punishment for keeping it from me.

"W-what?" Iroha stuttered.

I nonchalantly took a sip of wine and twirled the contents around my glass. I settled back comfortably into the sofa. I sighed. "We have a lot to talk about." I warned Iroha.

"You minx!" I accused Iroha before I broke down in fits of laughter.

Iroha looked at me sternly. "Girl code swears you to secrecy." She reproved severely.

"Cross my heart." I gasped between giggles whilst performing the action.

"You're impossible." Iroha groaned shaking her head in dismay.

I clutched my stomach, desperately trying to control the squeals of laughter that wouldn't stop. My body shook with another fit of the giggles as I recalled what Iroha had told me.

Iroha had coaxed Rod around to her house under the pretence that she'd wanted his help to fix her "faulty water" supply. Rod had tried for almost two hours to no avail. However, that had given Iroha the chance to get to know Rod and him her a little in return. Eventually Rod had given up, much to his dismay, his efforts had failed and he hadn't wanted to make the problem worse. Iroha had thanked him and informed him that that was quite alright, she just appreciated that he'd tried. Rod hadn't accomplished what he'd set out to do but he hadn't wasted his time, he'd enjoyed Iroah's company more than he'd anticipated he would. Iroha's plan had worked out as perfectly as she had hoped. When Rod had gone she turned back on the water supply that she herself had turned off earlier that day. They had spent the afternoon laughing and talking until…

"He asked me out on a date!" Iroha squealed.

I looked at Iroha my mouth agape. "When?! Where?!" I asked, desperate for details.

"This Sunday, we're having a picnic by the Goddesses Pond." Iroha excitedly gushed the particulars without hesitation. I saw the sparkle in her eyes and the small sweet smile on her face. Iroha was a woman aglow with the happiness, the anticipation and the elation that only the figure of a crush could invoke. Being a hopeless romantic I almost melted inside.

"I'm so happy for you!" I exclaimed as I threw my arms around Iroha.

Two and a half bottles of wine, two tubs of ice-cream and 1000 calories later I had exhausted the topic of Iroha's date with her. We had talked about everything from what she should wear, to what she should say. We had talked about how she felt and what we thought about Rod. The DVDs we had planned to watch lay abandoned on the TV stand. Rather Cosmopolitan, Heat and Closer magazines littered my tiny living room. As girls do we discussed dozens of different hypothetical situations and planned accordingly for each one. However, I drew the line at trying to teach Iroha to subtly flirt, it was rather hopeless.

I shoved a too large spoonful of cookie dough ice-cream into my mouth as I read upside down on the sofa 'Ten ways to tell if he's into you' in this weeks Cosmo magazine. I rolled my eyes, the article was so unrealistic. Please, he'll tell you dumb jokes and accidentally touch you. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that Iroha had abandoned her own magazine on the side of the sofa, she was biting her lip and twisting her hands. I sighed, sitting up. It was time to be real.

"Screw these magazines and their shitty advice." I commanded Iroha. "Screw the what if's, the how to's, the but's and the maybe's. Wear what you want to wear, say what you want to say and do what you want to do. Just be yourself, if you're not it can't be true and it won't be real. If Rod doesn't like you he's an idiot."

Iroha stared at me, taken aback, her eyes wide. I sighed and looked her earnestly in the eyes.

"Rod's a good guy." I continued gently. "It may not go the way you plan it to but what's the worst that could happen? I know it's scary as hell but take the leap, just go for the ride, throw caution to the wind."

Iroha looked at me intensely, she seemed to be hanging onto and weighing my every word.

I gave her a devilish look "Besides, I like Rod but if he hurts you I'll beat him to a pulp."

Iroha burst out laughing. I smiled, knowing that I had succeeded in cheering her up.

"I didn't think you had it in you to be so wise." Iroha teased.

"Hey!" I said. I retaliated by throwing a cushion at her.

"Okay. Okay." Iroha easily yielded, catching the cushion.

I huffed and glared at her.

Iroha nudged me playfully. "So, how about you?"

I brushed her off. "How about me what?" I asked irritably.

Iroha rolled her eyes. "I mean do you have your eye on anyone? It feels a little one sided only talking about my crush."

I scoffed. "The answer to that question is a big fat resolute no." I said. "Sorry to disappoint."

Iroha raised her eyebrow incredulously as if she found my answer hard to believe. "Really?" She pressed. "You didn't leave any broken hearts behind when you left your hometown?"

I froze and I felt my brow furrow. A face came into my mind, one that I had buried down so deep but now rose so easily to the surface. Henry.

I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest, my stomach knotted and the sudden pain of remembering made my breath catch. Memories flashed through my mind. I heard his husky voice and his breathy laugh as clearly as if he were right next to me. I could feel his chocolate brown eyes staring into the back of my skull, haunting and mocking me. I squeezed my eyes tightly and balled my hands into fists. Just his name, just his memory, turned me into a mess on the inside. My breathing turned fast and shallow, my chest felt so tight. It took everything I had to shove his ghost back down into the chest I'd locked him in the day I'd left home.

I slowly relaxed my balled hands and opened my eyes. "Rachael?" Iroha said gently. I blinked, coming back to reality and looking over at my friend. She looked confused and worried, my reaction couldn't have been expected.

I smiled at Iroha tentatively. "No, I didn't leave behind any broken hearts but I brought one with me." I explained candidly. I suddenly felt the overpowering sadness that comes along with losing something you never had.

Iroha looked at me, empathy and concern floating in her raven eyes. She didn't say anything, I didn't want her to, she simply laid her head on my shoulder and hooked her arms through mine. I sighed and rested my head on top of hers. I'd tell her when I was ready and she knew that, she knew I didn't need to talk but rather that I just needed her presence. I felt her warmth and her friendship, it comforted me like a blanket.

Later, when we were top and tail in my small single bed I heard Iroha whisper "Rachael?"

I barely heard her in that strange inbetweenness that comes just before sleep, when you're floating between reality and unconsciousness. "Yeah?" I mumbled back.

"What about Neil? She asked softly, tentatively.

I opened my eyes and sat up, Iroha was leaning back on her elbows looking at me. I could just make her out in the darkness. "What about him?" I asked pointedly.

Iroha hesitated before she replied suggestively "You seem to be spending a lot of time together..."

I stared at her through the darkness, my brow furrowed. Where was she going with this and why was she bringing it up now? I thought before I replied. "I have to acknowledge that I spend a lot more of my time with Neil these days, a hell of a lot more than I used to. The guy's my animal dealer and he's hard to shake. Besides, he's fun to annoy, you should see his reactions, priceless."

Iroha was quiet for a moment as though she was digesting what I had said. I was still puzzled. "Why did you ask?" I said.

"I was just wondering." Iroha replied unsatisfactorily.

I didn't swallow that answer, I knew Iroha hadn't just asked out of mere curiosity.

In the darkness she was just a silhouette but I threw her a suspicious glance. "Iroha, tell me the real reason." I demanded.

Iroha didn't speak and silence engulfed us. I wondered what was up with her, it wasn't like her to hold back.

I sighed and gave Iroha a small kick under the covers. "What was that for?" She asked angrily.

"For not being straight with me." I explained.

I sighed. "Iroha." I began softly. "Tell me the real reason why you asked about Neil, you don't have to tread on eggshells with me. You know that."

Iroha paused for a few more moments before she conceded and spoke what was on her mind. "I'm not as oblivious or as naive as you may think, I notice things that you may not think I do."

I could feel her piercing eyes on mine through the darkness. I held my breath, suddenly cautious and scared as to what she had to say.

Iroha continued: "Over the Summer I've watched you and Neil, you've both changed in comparison to how you were in the Spring."

The breath that I was holding turned into a lump in my throat, I knew where she was going with this and I had to stop her because she was wrong. "Iroha." I reproached sternly "You've got the completely wrong idea…"

"No!" Iroha cut me off. "I may have the wrong idea but I don't think I do. Hear me out."

I was stunned into silence for a moment, I hadn't heard Iroha speak to me like that before and I knew she was serious. I didn't know where this conversation would lead, I knew I probably wouldn't like it but I thought I'd better humour her. "Fine." I conceded. "Say whatever it is you have to say."

Iroha cleared her throat before she continued upon my invitation to do so. "I've seen the way you look at each other, the way you speak to each other, the way you argue, the way you tease him, and the way you draw him out of his shell." Iroha sighed deeply before she went on. "I've seen the way he looks out for you in his own way and I've seen the way he accepts your presence like he doesn't anyone else's. I've seen that something's there, a connection that neither of you are aware of or would want to acknowledge."

I was flabbergasted, I had not expected that and I didn't know what to say. What was it with people in this village?! First Rod and now Iroha. Couldn't a guy and a girl just be friends without it meaning anything more, without people speculating? I was completely confounded as to where Iroha was coming from, she was seeing something that wasn't there because she didn't understand. I thought of there being a "Connection" between me and Neil, it made me want to laugh because it was so ludicrous but I bit my tongue. Iroha was serious and she was coming from a good place. But, I had to set her straight.

"Iroha." I began. "I know you're coming from the right place, I appreciate that, but you're wrong. There is absolutely nothing of that nature between me and Neil. I can't see what you've claimed to have seen."

Iroha sighed in frustration. "I know how stubborn you are so I won't argue with you, just don't close your mind to the possibility."

Me be stubborn. The girl was refusing to listen to me. I thought Iroha had a straight head on her shoulders but she was deluded. For the first time ever I felt myself getting angry and impatient with Iroha. Why couldn't I convince her as to what was so obvious?

"Iroha…" I attempted to try again but she cut me off.

"I said I wouldn't argue." Iroha said sternly before she added more softly "Just think about it."

The covers rustled and I felt Iroha move and settle back down. "Goodnight." She said.

It took me a moment to answer before I whispered "Goodnight."

I laid back down against my pillow and turned on my side. In the fetal position, I tried to sleep but sleep didn't want to come. I was stupefied as to what Iroha had said and my mind was in overdrive thinking about what she thought, about what she had claimed to see. It was rather disconcerting, did others think the same?

Iroha had told me to think about it but I couldn't seriously, even if I tried. I couldn't fathom, couldn't comprehend, the idea of there being anything between me and Neil. It was crazy and the prospect made my insides churn. Neil would think the same, he'd fly of the handle if anyone said anything of that sort about us to him.

I sighed in frustration and closed my eyes tighter, determined to forget about it and fall asleep. If I was asleep I couldn't think, I just hoped that Iroha wouldn't bring anything of the sort up again.

As I was on the brink of unconsciousness I remembered something that Iroha had said earlier that night to me, it floated back to the front of my mind. "A broken heart can heal, it can feel and even love again."

They were words of comfort I thought but perhaps she meant something more.

As sleep consumed me I thought no more about it and I wouldn't in the days to come. However, my heart new something at that time that my mind didn't. Something that I couldn't acknowledge to myself, something that I would eventually find out...


	15. The animal festival

I felt my heart drop into my stomach as I entered the festival grounds. Never would I have imagined the magnitude of the turn out I saw before me. Over two dozen rows were filled with spectators, I noticed the village residents sitting at their reserved seats up the front. The festival grounds were loud with the mixture of chatter, laughter, the chorus of animal's cries and the bustling of the people gathered.

I suddenly felt nervous, any confidence that I had mustered vanished. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest, blood rushed to my head, breathing became difficult and my hands were clammy with sweat. I felt dizzy and a little overwhelmed, I contemplated turning back around.

I looked down at Belle who was grazing on a patch of grass at her feet. She seemed perfectly composed, not seeming to care or notice what was going on around her. I felt a pang of envy towards my cow. "How can you be so calm and collected at a time like this?" I whispered to her, hoping somehow she could pass on the secret.

Belle didn't even look up and I sighed in defeat, it looked like I was on my own. I closed my eyes and tried to drown out my surroundings, I was silently giving myself a pep talk when I heard "Rachael! There you are!"

I snapped my eyes open and saw that Dunhill was hurriedly making his way towards me through the loose crowd. I let out a deep breath, relieved to see a familiar face.

"Dunhill, thank the Goddess…" I began.

"You're late!" I was cut off sternly by Dunhill. He looked at me reproachfully, the same way my father had when I was a little girl and he'd caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. "Did you not realise what time it was?"

I looked at Dunhill apologetically. "I'm sorry, Dunhill. I really didn't…"

Dunhill pursed his lips, narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms against his chest. "Now, don't give me any sass young lady, there's no excuse for tardiness! We're running on a tight schedule that you're currently jeopardising."

I bit my lip, daring not to say another word. Parental Dunhill was a scary Dunhill, I'd never risk facing his wrath by trying to reason with him using logic. Geez, I thought I'd left my parents back at home, clearly not. I was glad Dunhill couldn't see my internal eye roll or hear my mental cursing. Take that, Dunhill.

"We can't stand around here all day. Get it together, girl. Move it!" Dunhill commanded. When I just stared at him blankly Dunhill grabbed my arm and began to not so gently pull me along. At the tug of her rope Belle followed after us, she clearly wasn't happy about being dragged away from her grazing, she let out a discontented "Moo!".

The crowd broke apart for us easily with a huge cow following behind.

"The Beginner's class cow competition is due to start in less than twenty minutes, I'll make sure you're registered. Neil will need to give you and Bessie there a number…" Dunhill rambled on but I stopped listening. I wasn't even offended that he'd gotten Belle's name wrong and I didn't correct him. I only really registered that he'd mentioned Neil's name. What did he have to do with the festival proceedings? It didn't seem like him to volunteer to help backstage but then again he did like working with animals.

"Rachael, Rachael. Did you get all of that?"I vaguely heard a distant voice say.

I gasped and blinked. I looked up and realised that I wasn't staggering along behind Dunhill anymore rather I was at the foot of a large wooden stage.

Dunhill shook my arm and I drew my attention back towards him. Dunhill boxed my ear, not too gently. I gave him a filthy look. "Ouch!" I yelled, covering my ear with my free hand. "What was that for?!"

Oh, no. Dunhill's forehead vein was pulsing. He was mad, real mad. "Get your head out of the clouds, girl! This is your first competition and you need to pull it together."

I opened my mouth to argue but Dunhill shot me down with a fierce glare. "No, lip." Dunhill warned and I begrudgingly bit my tongue. I took a deep breath and focused. Dunhill was a crazy old codger but he was right, I did need to pull it together.

"Now." Dunhill began to explain. "Head round the back of the stage and find Neil, he'll give you a number. I'll join you shortly, to make sure you're all ready and set up. First, I'll head over to the administration table to register you for the competition."

"Dunhill, wait." I said before he could walk off. "Why do I have to find Neil? What's he got to do with the competition?"

Dunhill stared at me for a moment before he tutted and rolled his eyes. "Neil's judging the competition. How could you not know? Folk have gathered from all over to see him in action." Dunhill shook his head before he turned to leave.

I stared at his retreating figure, my mouth slightly agape. Outwardly I was a statue, inwardly I was screaming. Neil! Neil, was the judge?! How could I have missed that?

I felt a finger snap my mouth shut. I flinched and blinked. I looked down to see Hana walking by on her way to her seat. "Close your mouth, dear, or you'll catch flies." She advised whilst passing.

I took a deep breath and shook my head. Realising that the minutes were slipping away I hurried backstage, Belle in tow. The other contestants were already gathered, some chose to hang back loosely whilst others chatted amiably in small groups. Not bothering to eye up the competition I craned my head frantically looking for Neil, reaching up on the tips of my toes. I sighed in relief when I spotted him right in the back, he was biting on a pen whilst scrutinising a clipboard. I made my way through towards him.

"Hi, Neil."I said. Neil flinched and looked up from his clipboard. He scowled when he saw me.

"What?" He asked harshly. I rolled my eyes, letting it go over my head. I never thought I'd say it but I had become familiarised with Neil's curt mannerisms.

First of all, business. "I'm entering the beginner's class cow competition with Belle. We need a number." I explained.

Neil nodded and turned over a sheet of paper on his clipboard. He examined it for a moment before writing something down hurriedly. He peeled something off and smacked it onto my chest, I looked down to find a large sticker with the number '0400' written on it.

I glared at him. "Thanks." I said sarcastically, rubbing my chest where he'd placed the sticker.

"You're welcome." Neil sniggered. Oh, he was enjoying this. I swear, one day I'll wipe that smug grin off his face.

"When you're called head onto the stage, stand on the mark next to the competitor with the smaller number than yours." Neil explained with a bored expression on his face.

"Right, that doesn't sound too hard." I said more to myself, I mentally repeated Neil's instructions.

Neil gave me a pointed look. "It's not rocket science, Einstein." He grinned. "Even you shouldn't be able to mess it up, unless you fall on your face. You know how clumsy you are."

Great, now I was scared about falling on my way onto the stage. As if I wasn't worried about enough. I could feel the beginnings of stage fright creeping up on me. I shook my head, I wasn't going to let Neil get under my skin. I hit him on the shoulder blade roughly and said. "For five minutes, just five minutes, do you think you could take a break from being a Jerk? I know it's a full-time occupation but I'm sure you could manage if you put your mind to it."

Neil pretended to consider it for a moment before he gave me a mock look of sincerity "I'll try my best." He promised sarcastically.

I sighed in frustration, that guy was impossible.

"It's been a pleasure but I'm busy." Neil said unconvincingly. "I'll see you on stage. Good luck, I'm sure you'll need it."

That reminded me! Neil turned to go but I caught the oversized collar of his long amethyst coat. "Not so fast." I demanded. "I've got a bone to pick with you."

Neil turned back and glanced down at my hand on his collar. His eyes bored into mine and he grinned wickedly. "I know I'm irresistible but would you mind not manhandling me?" Neil asked.

I froze for a second, paralysed. It felt like my heart had stopped for a second, faltered and then picked back up again with the speed of a jet. I could feel it beating frantically in my chest, I had to stop a sigh from leaving my lips. Goddess, sometimes I forgot how attractive Neil was and then he looked at me like that. I wondered if he even knew about his sex appeal or if he was consciously aware that he could make women fan-girl and fawn like he were a troubled rock-star. I blinked and came back to my senses. Just because Neil was kind of hot it didn't mean he wasn't an ass, I reminded myself.

"Ugh, in your dreams." I said disgusted. I tried to sound as convincing as I could, I might convince myself in the process. I immediately let go of his coat. I smacked him in the shoulder again. "Why didn't you tell me you were the judge?" I said accusatively.

Neil scowled and glared at me. He poked me in the head. "Because you didn't ask and I thought it would've been obvious, dummy, but apparently not."

"Ouch!" I said melodramatically and rubbed my forehead. I gave Neil the dirtiest look I could muster. "I swear to the Goddess, one of these days I'm going to kick your ass."

Neil looked down at me sceptically for a moment, he burst out laughing when he saw that I meant it. "Wait, you're actually serious." Neil laughed. "I'd like to see you try, Kitten."

"Kitten?" I raised an eyebrow.

Neil stopped. His eyes flickered away and he scratched the back of his head, making his mop even more unruly. I squinted, I swear he was blushing. "N-nothing." Neil stammered.

If I was cruel I would've pushed him but I decided to drop it, I knew Neil hated to feel embarrassed or to lose his cool. I'd never play on that, however, I did wonder where the nickname came from. It was insulting and irritating, like Neil.

I sighed in annoyance. "Enough." I commanded sternly. "No, I did not know you were the judge."

"And?" Neil said, he had recovered. "What's the problem?" He looked at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "The problem." I explained. "Is that we know each other."

Neil waited for me to say more. He raised an eyebrow. "Is that it? I don't follow."

I rolled my eyes again. "The problem." I said matter of factly. "Is that Belle used to belong to you, in the earliest stages of her life you raised her. Even on the farm you've spent a lot of time with her. You've been fundamental in her growth and development. Plus, you've given me a lot of advice. Wouldn't it be biased you judging us?"

Neil's first reaction was to scoff and look insulted. "Biased." He repeated.

Neil looked me in the eye and explained rather seriously. "I judge a competitor and their chosen livestock from what I observe on stage. Any personal feelings or experiences don't enter the equation, capiche?"

Stunned, I just stood there and nodded.

"Good." Neil said, he seemed satisfied.

Suddenly I head an angry "Moo!" I looked down to see Belle nudge Neil roughly with her head. I laughed. I turned to Neil "Belle is a lady that demands attention and she won't rest until she gets some." I warned.

"Moo!" Belle rubbed her head frantically against Neil.

"Okay, okay." Neil conceded as he was forced to take a step back. He looked around for a second before he bent down and stroked Belle affectionately on the head. Belle leaned her head into Neil's hand and swished her tail. I smiled slightly to myself, when it came to an animal that wasn't his own species Neil was a sweetheart.

"Now, Belle." I said in a mock reproachful tone. "It won't do, you buttering up the judge. What will people say? You'll ruin his reputation."

Neil stiffened, clearly not appreciating the teasing but I couldn't help it. Neil straightened up quickly and took a step back, he looked around discreetly to make sure no one had witnessed his brief display of affection. Satisfied, Belle began to attack the grass at her feet.

"I'll see you out there." Neil said dismissively, checking his watch and glimpsing down at his clipboard. As he turned to leave he turned his head back and called "Bring your A-Game, anything less and I'll be disappointed."

I flashed him a cocky grin. "Challenge accepted." I said.

Everything went so quickly, time flashed by. Before I knew it Dunhill had come back, I had been called and I was standing on my marked spot on the stage. I stood there as respectively and as professionally as I could, staring down at the dozens of faces watching me. I went through life so confidently but right now I was trying not to show that I was a nervous wreck, my stomach was in knots and I felt queasy from uneasiness. I didn't know how to deal with these alien emotions. Belle for her part was a star, she stood next to me perfectly still and stared out at the people below her. Her tail swished now and again, she looked rather bored. I sighed quietly and took a deep breath. I was going to take a leaf from her book, besides I read somewhere that animals could sense when you were nervous.

When Dunhill called "And last but not least contestant 0400, our very own Rachael and Bessie from Echo Farm." I waved sheepishly and smiled at the crowd. Inwardly, I face palmed myself. Bessie! I was going to kill Dunhill. All the village residents on the front row cheered the loudest and some jumped up from their seats. My heart swelled when I saw them and I smiled at them, encouraged by their show of support.

I watched as Neil inspected the other animals, one by one he came closer and closer. I played with my hands nervously and bit my lip, I was ready to burst with anticipation and suspense. I held my breath as Neil finally approached to examine Belle. He didn't say anything, he didn't look at me, he paid me no heed at all as he turned his full attention on Belle.

Neil ran a hand along her coat, along her back and across her stomach. He checked her eyes, teeth, tongue and hoofs. He ran a hand across her jaw, checking her lymph nodes. I watched Neil captivated, he was concentrating so intensely. He was in his element, in a bubble that just consisted of him and Belle as he gave her a full thorough examination.

When Neil seemed satisfied he nodded to himself and straightened up. I tried to catch a glimpse of what he was thinking but I couldn't see anything behind his expert poker face. I pouted to myself, he wasn't going to give anything away.

Neil whispered something to Dunhill before he disappeared backstage. Dunhill issued a break from the proceedings whilst Neil came to a decision.

I waited with bated breath…

"And the winner is…" Dunhill called out loudly. He waited a few moments for suspense and I internally cursed Dunhill's need for a dramatic pause.

Dunhill opened a gold envelope, he read what was on the card and smiled softly.

"The winner is… Entry 0400. From Echo Farm, Rachael and Bessie!"

The crowd erupted into applause and confetti streamed down over my head.

"Time for the awards ceremony!" I heard Dunhill shout from a far off place. "Rachael and Bessie, please step forward!"

I stood there frozen, loosely holding Belle's rope. I was stunned. Surely, I must not of heard right. It seemed like Dunhill had said, but no, that couldn't be right….

Dunhill coughed. "Rachael and Bessie, please step forward!" I heard him call again.

I flinched and blinked. I shook my head, waking up and then the realisation hit me. I'd won, I'd fricking won! I laughed, almost hysterically. I was so giddy I had to restrain myself from shouting and breaking out in a celebration dance. Dignity to the wind. I threw my arms around Belle. "You beautiful creature." I cooed. When we got home she was getting the ultimate pampering treatment.

I let go of Belle's rope and eagerly stepped forward. "Congratulations." Dunhill whispered softly as he placed an affectionate hand on my shoulder.

Neil stepped out from behind Dunhill. "So you won. Congrats, good for you." He drawled with all the enthusiasm and energy of a sloth. I bet he was hating the attention.

"Here's your prize." Neil said. He handed me a hamper, a large bouquet of flowers and a ribbon. "As recognition of your accomplishment in the beginner's class your milk produce will now be ranked as bronze." Neil explained. "You'll be able to ship the produce at a slightly higher price under that brand."

Yes! That's what I had wanted. My own brand, some outside recognition of my produce. At that moment I felt that my hard work had paid off and it felt great. I was on cloud nine as I graciously accepted my prizes. "Thank you." I whispered.

Without thinking, without hesitating, as soon as I was free I made a beeline for Neil. I quickly weaved through the crowd, ignoring shouts of congratulations and people calling my name. At that moment there was only one person I wanted to see and I found him in a corner of the festival grounds, talking in a loose circle with Allen and Rod.

I ran to Neil like a wild thing. I jumped into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. Neil caught me instinctively, wrapping his arms around my lower back, he took a step back from the sudden force.

"Neil, you wonderful man, you absolute gem!" I gushed.

"Thank you!" I said as I squeezed him tighter. I leaned back and looked into Neil's amethyst eyes, they were large saucers staring back at my own in complete shock.

"We won because of you." I whispered earnestly, not knowing where to begin to tell him how much he had helped me and how much I appreciated that. In fact, in fact… "I could kiss you!" I blurted out and I did! Before I could stop myself I had planted the briefest of kisses on Neil's parted lips. Not really comprehending what I had done, I leaned back and laughed breathlessly.

My brow furrowed as Neil's eyes widened in horror, he took in a sharp breath and looked at me aghast. Neil turned red, bright red and suddenly dropped me unceremoniously. I let out a yelp as my butt made contact with the ground sharply.

Once I'd recovered from the initial shock I began to mentally panic. Shit, shit, shit, shit. What had I done?! I'd just freaking gave Neil a peck on the lips, in front of everyone. I peaked a glance up at Neil from under my lashes. Poor guy looked like I had electrocuted him. Neil's cheeks and ears were burning, he looked around nervously, avoiding eye contact with me at all costs.

I snapped my head up to Allen as I heard him cackle. "Well, well, well." He began, amused. "Who would've guessed? It seems our resident farmer has hooked up with the gorilla of an animal dealer."

Allen looked at me reproachfully, he tutted and wagged his index finger. "Darling, I know they say opposites attract but I really thought you'd have better taste."

I shot daggers at Allen, I know looks couldn't kill but in this case I was really hoping they could.

Rod rushed forward and helped me to my feet. "Are you alright?" He whispered urgently. "Nothing broken?"

I smiled at him appreciatively "No, no. I'm fine." I reassured him.

Rod still looked worried but I was only concerned about Neil. I turned to face him and my heart ached from what I saw. Neil was still looking around, panicked, rooted to the spot, not knowing what to do, say, or which way to turn. I kicked myself internally, I had just made his worst social nightmare come true. I looked around uneasily as I began to notice others nearby looking our way from the commotion.

I took a tentative step towards Neil and gently whispered "Neil."

I reached out a hand towards him and Neil took a step back, he focused in on me and his brow furrowed. He shook his head and looked around the festival grounds again, at all the faces that were now watching curiously. He looked like a trapped animal. Neil suddenly turned on the spot and began to march out of the grounds, with his head down, just fast enough that he wasn't running.

Allen chuckled. "What's the matter Neil?" Allen called out after him. "Cat got your tongue. Wait, sorry, no. That's your girlfriends job over here, right?" Allen began to cackle again. Anger bubbled up inside of me and I shoved him roughly. "You're such an ass, Allen!" I spat at him.

I turned to follow Neil out of the festival grounds. "Come on, Princess." I heard Allen call after me. "Don't be like that, I was only teasing." I didn't bother to dignify him with an answer. Goddess, that guy sucked big time.

I looked around wildly but I couldn't see any trace of where Neil had gone. I thought I'd try the obvious place first and I ran to his house in the lower part of town. I knocked frantically on the door and yelled "Neil, Neil. Are you in there?"

When there was no answer I looked through the front windows, there was no one there, it didn't look like he was home. I sighed in frustration and plonked my self down on the front step, I placed my head in my hands as I tried to catch my ragged breath. What had I gotten myself into? I really hadn't meant anything by my impromptu public display of affection. I know how it looked and I wasn't looking forward to setting the record straight. Allen's comments had just added fuel to the flames. People were going to gossip.

Most of all I was worried about Neil. I needed to find him, to speak to him, to apologise and to explain. Neil was a recluse, I didn't want him to lash out and I didn't want to think of him on his own right now.

I groaned when I thought about the possible damage that I could've caused. What was Neil thinking about me right now? I dreaded to think about it. My heart felt heavy as led when I thought about if I had just messed up whatever it was Neil and I had. I'd known him for barely two seasons but the emotions he brought out in me were so intense. Sitting there, the realisation hit me that Neil's presence in my life meant more to me than I thought. I hope I hadn't lost him or his trust.

Shit, how was I going to fix this? The golden question that I had better think of an answer to quickly...


	16. The animal festival - Neil's P.O.V

Mercilessly I gnawed the lid of the black pen that I gripped tightly in my hand. I scrutinised the wad of papers that were barely contained, by the thin metal clasp, to my wooden clipboard. I was finding it hard to fight back the tentacles of stress that were threatening to entangle me but I refused to lose my cool. The first round of the festival began in less than fifteen minutes and I was double-checking details to make sure everything would run accordingly. These competitions reflected my reputation, advertised my skills and boosted the town's economy. I felt on edge, trying to push away the unreasonable gut feeling that something would go wrong or that I'd forgot to do something.

I was so absorbed I flinched when I heard a familiar voice call casually. "Hi,Neil."

Eyes like daggers I looked up to glare at Rachael. Her hair was arranged haphazardly into two messy braids, loose hair tangled around her face, her cow-printed hat tilted to one side of her head, there was a huge grass stain in the middle of her baggy denim overalls, her eyes were a little wild and her face was flushed. I had to resist the urge to smile a little, why was she always a mess?

"What." I snapped harshly.

Rachael rolled her eyes and impatiently brushed loose strands of hair away from her face. Rachael stood up straight and declared "I'm entering the beginner's class cow competition with Belle. We need a number."

I nodded, looking briefly down at Belle before I turned my attention to my clipboard. I turned a sheet over and examined the contents, there was a place left during the first round of the beginners class. She's lucky, leaving it so close but then she always does. Not bothering to waste time reprimanding her over her last minute entry I quickly squiggled down '0004' onto a sticker, I peeled the sticker off and slapped it onto Rachael's chest.

Rachael looked down at the sticker curiously and rubbed her chest. "Thanks." She said sarcastically. "You're welcome." I sniggered, not able to help myself.

Bored, I quickly explained the instructions for the start of the competition. I had repeated them so many times today that the words flowed out on their own accord, I didn't have to think about it. "When you're called head onto the stage, stand on the mark next to the competitor with the smaller number than yours."

Rachael looked like she had hung onto my every word. "Right, that doesn't sound too hard." She said mostly to herself. Rachael then began to wordlessly repeat my instructions.

I gave her a pointed look. "It's not rocket science, Einstein." I grinned. "Even you shouldn't be able to mess it up, unless you fall on your face. You know how clumsy you are."

Rachael looked startled and then it dawned on her, my comment hit home and she knew I could be right. Rachael's breath came more raggedly, she clenched and unclenched her hand anxiously. Her eyes went wide and her face paled. I knew I had psyched her out but I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty over it. If that's all it took for Rachael to lose her nerve she needed to up her game, competitions weren't a joke or for the weak-hearted.

Then a sharp force hit me roughly in my shoulder-blade. It stung and throbbed a little, I looked down to see Rachael glaring up at me with fire in her eyes. Wow, she was mad and stronger than she looked. "For five minutes, just five minutes, do you think you could take a break from being a Jerk?" Rachael spat at me. "I know it's a full-time occupation but I'm sure you could manage it if you put your mind to it."

There's that blaze I wanted to see, that fuel should serve her well for the competition if it continued to burn. I pretended to consider her proposition for a few moments before I promised sarcastically "I'll try my best."

Rachael sighed in frustration and pursed her lips. As much as I enjoyed watching her reactions I couldn't stand around. "It's been a pleasure but I'm busy." I said unconvincingly. "I'll see you on stage. Good luck, I'm sure you'll need it."

I turned to go but was yanked back by the collar of my coat. I turned back in surprise to see Rachael clutching my coat collar tightly in her clenched fist. I raised my eyes, the little farmer really was tough or she was just playing tough.

"Not so fast." Rachael demanded. "I've got a bone to pick with you." I looked into her steeled blue eyes and then down at her hand that was still grasping my collar. The little kitten was walking the walk and talking the talk but how long would her composure last. I bored my eyes into hers and grinned at her wickedly. "I know I'm irresistible but would you mind not manhandling me?" I asked enticingly.

Rachael's hand slackened on my collar but she didn't let go. She blinked and gawped at me. I was about to nudge her when Rachael suddenly blinked again, gasped a little and came back to life. She immediately let go of my collar and took a step back. "Ugh, in your dreams." She retorted disgusted.

Despite what she said there was a faint flush to her cheeks and she struggled to look me in the eye. I grinned cockily. It was nice to know she wasn't immune to my charm, I could use that if I had to. I chose to avoid women and their claws 90% of the time but I still knew the effect I could have on them.

Rachael smacked my shoulder blade again, that was going to bruise. I growled at her, irritated. "Why didn't you tell me you were the judge?" She said accusatively.

I poked Rachael in the head, tired of her hitting me. I knew she was dense but this was taking it to a new level. "Because you didn't ask and I thought it would've been obvious, dummy, but apparently not." I retorted.

Rachael rubbed her forehead melodramatically and squawked "Ouch." She scrunched her face up and gave me a filthy look. "I swear to the Goddess, one of these days I'm going to kick your ass." She threatened fervently.

I blinked, surprised, before I burst out laughing. The idea was preposterous and the mental image was hilarious. Rachael couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag. I looked down at her sceptically and my chest shook with a fresh round of laughter when I saw that she was actually serious. "Wait, you're actually serious." I chuckled. "I'd like to see you try, kitten."

Rachael looked at me perplexed, she raised an eyebrow. "Kitten?" She asked incredulously.

I stopped, frozen when I realised my mistake. My eyes flickered away and I scratched the back of my head nervously. Goddess, that was stupid. I felt the faint heat on my cheeks. I'd messed up, again. I'd let the mental nickname slip. The problem was I relaxed too much when I was with her, I got too wrapped up in her to think about what I was saying or doing. It had started to come naturally and I didn't like that, not at all. For the hundredth time I reminded myself to get a grip. It was ridiculous that I'd slipped, that I exposed myself every time she so much as batted her pretty eyes. "N-nothing." I managed to stammer.

Rachael scrunched her eyes, scrutinising me. I cleared my throat and let my hand fall to my side. I looked back when I heard Rachael sigh in annoyance. "Enough." She commanded sternly. "No, I did not know you were the judge."

I blinked, grateful that she seemed to have let it go. I recovered quickly. "And?" I asked. "What's the problem?" I looked at her expectantly.

Rachael rolled her eyes and groaned as though the answer should've been obvious. "The problem." She explained slowly. "Is that we know each other."

I waited for her to say more. That couldn't be the only reason as to why she was kicking up a fuss, it didn't make sense. I raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that it? I don't follow."

Rachael rolled her eyes again, frustrated that I wasn't catching on. "The problem." She said matter of factly. "Is that Belle used to belong to you, in the earliest stages of her life you raised her. Even on the farm you've spent a lot of time with her. You've been fundamental in her growth and development. Plus, you've given me a lot of advice. Wouldn't it be biased you judging us?"

That's what she was trying to get at. I scoffed, insulted. Didn't she know me well enough by now, clearly not. "Biased." I repeated, hating the way the word formed in my mouth and rolled off my tongue. I felt like I had to settle the score. I looked Rachael in the eye and explained seriously "I judge a competitor and their chosen livestock from what I observe on stage. Any personal feelings or experiences don't enter the equation, capiche?"

Rachael just stood there, eyes wide. Eventually she nodded her head. Guessing that was the only response I was going to get I said "Good." I'd have to be satisfied with that, seemed like she got the message.

Suddenly I heard a loud angry "Moo!"

I felt a rough nudging against my leg and I looked down to see that the culprit was Belle. I looked back up when I heard Rachael laugh. "Belle is a lady that demands attention and she won't rest until she gets some." Rachael warned, clearly amused.

Belle cried and rubbed her head frantically against my leg, this time I was forced to take a step back. "Okay, okay." I conceded. I carefully took a quick look around before I bent down to pat Belle affectionately on the head, she leaned her head into my hand and closed her large soft eyes. My lips twitched up into a half-smile, remembering fondly. I'd delivered Belle myself and raised her from a calf to a young adult. It was tough when I'd given her up but I was glad to see that she'd been put in good hands, I'd never admit it out loud but she'd thrived under Rachael's care.

"Now, Belle." I heard Rachael say in a mockingly reproachful tone. "It won't do, you buttering up the judge. What will people say? You'll ruin his reputation."

I stiffened. I dropped my hand and stood up straight immediately. Rachael was only teasing but she was half true, whether she knew it or not. People jumped to conclusions easily and I couldn't be seen showing an ounce of favouritism. I shot a quick glare at Rachael before hastily taking a step back. I looked around discreetly to make sure no one had witnessed my brief display of affection. Seemingly satisfied, Belle began to attack the grass at her feet.

I checked my watch and my clipboard. Less than ten minutes left till show time. "I'll see you out there." I said to Rachael dismissively, barely looking at her before I turned to leave.

Without thinking I snapped my head back around and called "Bring your A-Game, anything less and I'll be disappointed."

Rachael looked surprised for a second before her eyes flashed, she shot me a cocky grin "Challenge accepted." She said.

My head turned away, I smiled to myself at her enthusiasm and confidence. I knew she had it in her and I would be disappointed if her potential was shot down by nerves. I'd been in this business a long time. Not many candidates reached the mark but it was worse when someone could and didn't because of jitters.

I was standing in the middle of the wooden stage. I ignored the sounds from the crowd below, the eyes watching me, I was wholly engrossed in my inspection. Sighing a little I stood up straight from examining the third entry, a light brown jersey cow. The competitor would get points for a rarer breed of cow. The cow was in tip-top condition but it was young and undisciplined, the animal was agitated and was barely kept in place by it's owner.

I proceeded over to the fourth entry, Belle and Rachael from Echo Farm I heard called over the megaphone as I approached. I flashed Rachael the quickest of glimpses, she was twisting her hands and biting her lip. I automatically knocked her down a few points for presentation and stage presence. I turned all my attention to Belle, she stood perfectly still on the stage. I approached slowly and ran a hand down her back, she looked at me but didn't move. The familiarity may have helped but she was rather docile, that's why I had chosen her to give to Rachael in the first place. I went on to check her eyes, teeth, tongue and hoofs. I ran a hand across her jaw, checking her lymph nodes. After I was happy with my examination I took a step back and approached Dunhill. I whispered that I had concluded, I threw back the curtain and went backstage.

I stood next to Dunhill as he announced the results. "And the winner is…" Dunhill called out loudly. He waited a few moments for suspense and I rolled my eyes.

Dunhill opened a gold envelope, he read what was on the card and smiled fondly. Of course I knew what he'd say before he said it…

"The winner is… Entry 0400. From Echo Farm, Rachael and Bessie!"

The crowd erupted into applause and the villagers jumped up from their seats. I turned my attention to Rachael, confetti was streaming over her head but she just stood there. Dunhill coughed awkwardly. "Rachael and Bessie, please step forward!" He called loudly again. Wait, wasn't it Belle. I shrugged slightly to myself, too disinterested to care enough.

Rachael blinked and shook her head. Her eyes widened and her hand flew up to her mouth. She looked out in awe and then she was laughing almost hysterically, she threw her hands around Belle and cooed to the creature. I pretend to clear my throat, raising my hand to my mouth, to hide the smile I felt forming. For a reason I couldn't explain seeing her so happy made a little swell of happiness wrap around my chest. I had to kick the sweet feeling down.

Rachael and Belle stepped forward. I stepped out from behind Dunhill and approached them. "So you won. Congrats, good for you." I congratulated them with all the energy and enthusiasm of a sloth. I was aware of the limelight, of the attention and of the crowd. I hated it. The sooner this was over the better.

Eager to escape, stony faced I passed a hamper and large bouquet of flowers to Rachael. "Here's your prize." I drawled. "As recognition of your accomplishment in the beginner's class your milk produce will now be ranked as bronze. You'll be able to ship the produce at a slightly higher price under that brand."

"Thank you." Rachael whispered as she graciously accepted her prizes. When she did our fingers touched briefly. I flexed my hand as I felt a shot of electricity shoot up my arm. Weird, I thought.

The ceremony had finally wrapped up. I'd brushed off the conversations, the questions and the attempts to grab my attention. Hidden, I stood towards the back of the festival grounds. I stood in a loose circle with Allen and Rod.

"Neil?" I heard Allen say. "I have a question for you."

Scowling, I turned a pair of cold eyes on Allen. I could feel Rod looking at us. "Shoot." I commanded through clenched teeth.

Allen held his chin between his thumb and index finger. "Even if you say it's for milk, if you raise it for a long time, it's kind of like a pet." He began.

I narrowed my eyes, already annoyed. Curiosity made me hear him out.

Allen pursed his lips in thought. "If you go to the Cow Festival together then won't you feel even more attached?"

Allen paused and then he nodded his head to himself. "... Then when that cow dies, you're going to cry a lot."

I stared at Allen stony-faced, not quite sure as to what I had just heard. I scoffed, shaking my head at Allen. I threw him a disbelieving look. I poked him in the chest roughly and harshly said. "That's really f***ed up."

Allen rubbed his chest tentatively and threw me an offended look. "What did I say?" he asked ignorantly.

Rod shook his head and said "Dude…"

"What? Was it something I said." Allen asked, turning his attention towards Rod.

My eyes widened in surprise as I watched a blur of denim dungarees and blond hair racing towards me with alarming speed. The next thing I know something heavy and large jumped me, I threw my arms around to catch it instinctively. I had to take a step back from the sudden weight and impact. I blinked and felt a pair of slender arms wrap around my neck. Stunned, I looked down to find a pair of midnight blue eyes inches away from my own.

"Neil, you wonderful man, you absolute gem!" I hear Rachael gush, not really registering the words. I was too distracted by her warmth against my body, her nose almost skimmed my own and she was grinning at me with a smile brighter than the sun.

"Thank you!" I heard her say as she placed her head on my shoulder and squeezed me tightly. Her hair smelt like the earth, after it had rained. I could feel her chest panting heavily against my own. My senses were suddenly intoxicated, overpowered by her. By her scent, by her breath that tickled my ear, by the way she was pressed so close to me. My blood felt hotter as it pulsed rapidly through my veins, my heart was hammering in my chest and my breathing turned to shallow gasps. The strangest feeling was this overwhelming desire, the desire to wrap my arms tighter and to squeeze her back. My head started to spin.

Rachael leaned back and looked at me warmly, her eyes sparkled and she smiled sweetly. "We won because of you." She whispered quietly, only to me. The way she looked at me made my heart feel like it had skipped a beat. I felt incapable of functioning, of speaking, I barely managed to keep my arms steady.

"I could kiss you!" Rachael said breathlessly. I took it as a figure of speech when suddenly I felt a pair of soft silken lips on my own. My lips puckered ever so slightly in response and then her lips were gone, quickly as they had come. It felt like it had happened in slow-motion. In fact it felt rather lucid, like perhaps it hadn't happened at all. It took awhile for my brain to process, to catch up. When it did I stared at Rachael, horror-struck. She was laughing, looking at me. Suddenly, her laughter faltered. Her eyes widened and I heard a small squeak escape her lips. A blush flowered on her cheeks, her eyes flickered away as she bit her lip.

Kiss me. Rachael had just kissed me! My arms slackened and fell to my side. I stared into a spot in front of me, it felt like my body had stopped operating. I couldn't string a thought together. Vaguely, I heard something heavy hit the floor but I wasn't registering anything.

Rod: "Are you alright? Nothing broken."

Rachael: "No, no. I'm fine."

What brought me back to my senses was the whispers, the feeling of a dozen pairs of eyes watching me. My eyes flickered around the turned gazes of the curious crowd. My cheeks felt hot as fire.

Suddenly I heard a cackle to my immediate right. "Well, well, well." I turned my head around slowly to see Allen grinning, amused. "Who would've guessed? It seems our resident farmer has hooked up with the gorilla of an animal dealer."

He looked at Rachael, tutting and wagging a finger. Rachael stood in the middle of our circle, looking abashed with her arms folded tightly against her chest. "Darling, I know they say opposites attract but I really thought you'd have better taste." Allen reproached.

Rachael shot daggers at Allen and I felt a sudden surge of anger, it momentarily replaced the awkwardness and embarrassment. I had to fight the urge to smash my fist into his smug face. I glared at Allen fiercely, I felt my clenched fist twitch.

"Neil…" I heard a soft voice whisper tentatively. My fist dropped open and my eyes flickered towards Rachael. She was stepping towards me, a hand outstretched, worry sketched into her features.

I took a step back, feeling like a trapped animal. I shook my head at her, she stopped and dropped her arm. My gaze swept over the onlookers again. Anxiety reared its ugly head and clamped painfully around my chest. My breath came quickly and I could feel my palms begin to sweat. Body on fire, my eyes flickered from face to face until I felt an overpowering need to escape.

I turned on the spot, head down, and hurried towards the exit. Behind me I heard Allen call out "What's the matter Neil? Cat got your tongue. Wait, sorry, no. That's your girlfriends job over here, right?"

I didn't turn around, I couldn't. To face Allen meant to face that crowd. The first I'd do with satisfaction, the second was physically impossible.

Out of the festival grounds I felt myself able to breath again, my head began to clear.

I went to my special spot, behind the waterfall at the top of the forest. Here I knew I'd be alone. No one would find me, hidden from sight behind the trees. I sat on the grass, knees pulled up to my chest. I watched the waterfall for a while, letting the crashing sound pierce my ears and thoughts. I sighed before I laid back, my arms behind my head. I didn't think about what had just happened, to think about it brought the anxiety back and I didn't want to feel anything. Closing my eyes, I blocked out all thoughts and feelings, I forced myself to relax.

My mind was a black pit, devoid of anything. Accept one thought, one thought I couldn't shake or force down. The thought of a pair of velvet lips on my own, pressing as lightly as a moths wing. I skimmed my index finger against my bottom lip, still feeling her touch there even though it had lasted for the briefest of moments. My lips felt warm and so did my chest. What was wrong with me? Her touch, her warmth, it left me feeling wanting. It made me feel… I didn't know how it made me feel. That was a can of worms I didn't want to open. Later, I might be angry with her but right now I wasn't. I forced myself to stop thinking about her too but my heart thumped heavily, it was easy to control my head but I was finding it more difficult to control my heart.


	17. The purple heart event

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Author's note:
> 
> I should have written this chapter sooner but it would've happened before some of the later chapters I've written. A little backwards, I know. Regardless, Enjoy.

"Bye, Hana. Thanks again for dinner." I said as I bent down to kiss Hana on her wrinkled cheek.

"You know that you're most welcome, Dear." Hana smiled sweetly. "Are you available for next week?"

"You know I'm always available to have dinner with you." I replied.

"And I'm always available to treat you." Hana said fondly. "Now, takecare on your way home."

"I will!" I reassured her before I turned to leave. I heard the door close behind me as I neared the end of the front path.

I smiled to myself. I loved that lady, she was the grandmother I never knew I had.

I started to head back to the farm but I stopped when I spotted a flaming red head in my peripheral vision. I turned to see that Rod was walking out of Neil's house.

"Hey, Rod. What's up?" I called as I walked up to Neil's front fence and lent against it.

Rod looked up and smiled when he saw me. "Hi, Rach." He waved as he met me at the fence. "Nothing much. I'm just heading home to pick up something that I forgot."

"You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on." I teased him.

"Probably." Rod laughed as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket.

"Having a playdate with Neil?" I asked as I nodded towards the house.

"Something like that." Rod chuckled. "Are you loitering because you weren't invited?"

"That's the best kind of party." I grinned cockily and flipped my hair. "Why wait for an invitation when you can gatecrash the fun?"

Rod gave a short laugh and shook his head in a what am I going to do with you kind of way. "I was walking my dog and dropped in to see Neil on my route." He explained. "Neil's inside if you wanted to see him."

I tapped my index finger against my lips, pretending to think about it. "Hmmm... No, not really." I said slowly. "But I want to see your dog."

I stood up from the fence and walked around Rod towards Neil's door.

"She's extremely affectionate." I heard Rod warn behind me.

I turned around and looked at him incredulously. "There's no such thing as too affectionate." I scoffed.

"You'll see." Rod said matter of factly as he turned to leave.

I rolled my eyes. "Bye, Rod." I called after him. "You're dog may or may not be here by the time you get back."

Rod waved a hand behind him, chuckling as he walked.

I walked to Neil's door and opened it quietly. Coming from the city I still found it hard to understand why people here never locked their doors. I closed the door behind me. I opened my mouth to announce my presence when I heard.

"Hey. You're a cutie, aren't you!"

What? I turned around to see Neil, towards the end of the house, who was crouched in front of the cutest puppy I had ever seen.

The little dog started to whine and whimper. Neil scratched the dog behind the ear and she leaned her head into his hand.

"Rod's just gone to get something he forgot." Neil reassured the creature softly. "Don't worry, we'll wait for him to come back together."

The little dog licked Neil's hand affectionately. Oh my Goddess. That's the cutest thing I've ever witnessed. I could feel my mouth hanging open. I felt a squeak bubbling up in my throat and I closed my mouth quickly, covering it with a hand.

This wasn't the Neil I knew. In fact I'm questioning if Neil has an identical twin or if that is an impostor. The Neil in front of me was smiling sweetly, his eyes were creased affectionately and he'd used the word 'cutie'.

I was very conscious of the fact that I couldn't make a sound. I'd walked in on a golden opportunity and I wasn't going to let it pass me by. Neil would kill me just with the look he'd give me if he knew I was watching him.

Unconsciously I shifted my weight and I heard the floorboard underneath me groan. I froze. Shit.

The little dog's ears shot up and she immediately looked right at me. No, no! Stay there! I mentally willed to the dog, hoping fruitlessly that she wouldn't draw my attention to Neil. Of course that would be too good to be true. The dog barked, waved her tale ferociously and ran towards me.

Neil stood up and watched the dog curiously, then his eyes met mine. Neil froze and stared at me wide-eyed. The little dog was jumping up and down around my feet, begging for attention. I looked at Neil awkwardly and gave him a little wave. "Hi." I squeaked.

Neil scowled and averted his gaze. "H-hey, how long have you been standing there for? You s-surprised me!" He stuttered.

I squinted, was Neil blushing? No, he couldn't be. I bit my lip and twirled my hair around in my hand. I shuffled my feet on the floor and looked anywhere but at Neil. I'd been caught red-handed and I needed to think of a good excuse really quick. I was blank. The little dog was barking incessantly and jumping up my legs.

Neil marched towards me, his face as dark as thunder clouds. I tensed, expecting the wrath that was to come. "Fess up, how long have you been standing there? You didn't see… see any of that, did you?" Neil asked insistently.

"See what?" I pretended innocently, acting confused. "I just got here."

Neil scrutinised me for a moment before he relaxed. "Good." Neil sighed, clearly relieved. "Just forget that I said anything." He demanded.

I laughed nervously. "You got it." I said quickly.

I smiled a little to myself. I can't believe he brought that, I was one good actress. I felt myself relax in relief and my heart ceased to pound so heavily, I'd gotten away with it.

Then Neil squinted his eyes, looking at me suspiciously. Diversion, quick, diversion. I mentally screamed to myself. I bent down and picked up the little dog who wriggled in my arms and licked my face fervently.

"Who's this cutie-pie?" I asked Neil as I scratched the dog on the head affectionately. I glanced up to see Neil smiling down at the dog fondly. His face dropped and he scowled when he saw that I was looking at him.

"Rod left me here with his dog." Neil complained, pretending to be mad about it. "Not for too long, just a little while."

I nodded my head in acknowledgement.

"I've got a lot of other things to do, though! I don't have time for this." Neil continued, clearly exasperated.

Yeah, right. I thought. I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, I just nodded my head again and flashed Neil a quick look of agreement.

I looked away from Neil's grumpy face into the eyes of the little dog that was still thrashing excitedly in my arms. I tightened my grip and nuzzled my face against the dogs who licked the side of my face. I held the little dog away from me and laughed. "That tickles."

The little dog barked for more attention and I happily applied. I held the dog like I would a baby and I scratched her belly, her back leg kicked up and down. "Who wouldn't have time for you?" I coed to the little dog. "I'd have all the time in the world. Yes, I would."

I heard Neil scowl and I looked up at him. "It's a dog, not an infant." He said but I heard the hint of a smile in his half-hearted complaint .

"In fact, I was just about to go and drop the dog off back at Rod's house. Do you want to come along?" Neil offered.

"Sure." I agreed, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly.

Neil nodded. "Let's go then. Come on, doggy. We're not leaving you behind."

Neil took the squirming dog from my arms and proceeded to attach a little pink collar around her neck. Then he clipped a matching pink lead to the metal ring at the back of the collar. The dog barked excitedly, knowing it was about to go on a walk.

Neil pushed open Rod's front door roughly without announcing himself. I trailed in behind him.

Rod was rummaging for something in the back of his house, he stopped and turned around to face us when he heard us come in. He looked startled and a little confused. "Hey? What are you doing here? I was just about to come back over." Rod asked.

Neil's amethyst eyes bored into Rod's suggesting that the answer should have been obvious. Neil scowled impatiently and narrowed his eyes at Rod. "I'm bringing your dog back. A dog needs a master, after all! I can't do you favours all day long!"

Neil bent down to unclip the lead from the dog's collar. The little dog, once free from constraint, ran straight towards Rod. Tripping over herself, she barked happily to be back in the presence of her owner.

Rod narrowed his eyes and shook his head, perplexed by Neil's hostility. "What're you talking about? You're the one who said you'd look after my dog while I came back to get this." Rod asked, he held a box of dog treats in one hand and shook them to indicate that's what he'd come back for.

The little dog yapped and jumped around Rod's feet. Rod bent down to pick the dog up and he scratched her obligingly behind the ear. The little dog's tail whipped back and forth like a wiper blade, her tongue lolled out and she closed her eyes in pleasure.

Neil glared at Rod, clearly not amused. "Enough double talk! I've no idea what you're talking about!"

Rod looked up from petting his dog and stared at Neil wide eyed. Rod cocked his head to one side and scratched his nose, clearly still lost. I couldn't blame him, I was a little lost too. I observed Neil, wondering what his deal was. He always had a problem but this seemed over the top, even for him. Wasn't Rod meant to be his friend?

Neil suddenly proclaimed. "Here's your dog back. I'm going home!"

Neil's eyes flickered from Rod and then to me. "See you later, both of you." Neil said begrudgingly.

Neil turned around and stormed out the house, closing the door loudly behind him. I watched where Neil had been standing and then I looked at the door that he'd just walked out off. I turned to look at Rod wide-eyed. "What's got his panties in a twist?"

Rod shrugged his shoulders, he looked as confused as I felt. "I wonder what's up with Neil." He mused, setting the dog on the ground. The dog proceeded to run around in small circles, trying to catch it's wagging tail.

"I have no idea." I said straight-away but then it dawned on me. My eyes widened in acknowledgement. "Wait, I caught Neil playing with your dog. I bet that was it."

Rod's eyes widened in understanding too. "You saw him playing with my dog?" He asked. "I guess he was embarrassed at getting seen."

I shook my head, disagreeing with the statement. "No, that can't be it. He asked but I pretended that I'd just walked in and that I hadn't seen anything."

Rod smiled a little and shook his head knowingly. "You just didn't notice but Neil's sharp." Rod explained. "He must know you saw him and came here to hide his embarrassment."

"Oh." Was all I said, surprised. I thought I'd been so convincing too but now I felt a little guilty. I furrowed my brow, trying to understand. Neil seemed tough as nails, he walked around with a constant fire in his eyes and with a permanent scowl on his face, he looked like a scorned rock-star, and he exuded an attitude that shouted that he didn't care about what anyone said or thought. Now what kind of guy who looked like he could beat down the world was embarrassed because he was caught playing with a dog? He'd gone to such lengths to hide it too, it didn't make sense.

Rod saw that I was trying to figure it out, to put the pieces together. He flashed me an understanding smile and he gave a little shrug. "He's got a bit of a sharp tongue so it can be hard to tell, but he's actually a really kind guy."

I blinked and I frowned at Rod, not comprehending him. I was about to say no, not Neil. He looks like he'd chew you up and spit you out. We can't be talking about the same guy. Neil who I questioned was more robot than human. Then it hit me and I gasped, realisation coursed through my body and hit me in my very core. It struck that I was experiencing an epiphany, a great realisation of truth. I'd known Neil for less than two seasons but the memories swirled in my head, each one racing each other to the surface. Neil bringing Belle to my farm, Neil helping to build Rebecca's house, Neil coming to the farm in his spare time to see how my livestock was doing, Neil helping Hana to carry her shopping and kissing her on the cheek, Neil picking a Moondrop flower when he thought no one was looking, Neil feeding that stray cat and Neil watching Rod's dog.

Rod was right. Neil was kind and he was sensitive, he just hid it exceptionally well behind his carefully layered and presented tough-guy exterior. The realisation was strong and intense. I took a step backwards and squeezed my eyes shut. I laid my forehead in my palm, I felt a headache coming on.

I opened my eyes to see that Rod was looking at me funnily. "You okay?" He asked, concerned.

"Yeah, yeah." I reassured him quickly. "I've just come to the painful realisation that you're right about Neil."

I thought Rod might've reprimanded me for being judgemental but I should've known that he wasn't the type. Instead Rod smiled at me and looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. "I'm glad that he's got someone else who understands him now, anyway." Rod said pleased.

Rod looked at me contemplatively. He opened his mouth, drew a breath and then paused. He hesitated before tentatively saying. "I guess this sounds a little odd coming from me, but I hope you'll be a good friend to Neil."

I beamed at Rod and laughed. "I will." I promised easily. "Goddess help the guy, he might not realise it but he needs them."

Rod laughed.

I chatted with Rod for a little while and fussed over his dog before I left to head back to the farm. I paused when I past Neil's house and I looked at it for a little while, wondering what he was doing now, before I carried on.

Yesterday, if someone had told me that Neil was a complete sweetheart I would've laughed but today I would've agreed. Neil had a few kind bones hidden inside. I laughed to myself when I thought that he reminded me of Shrek, he was an onion with layers or maybe he was more like a cake with layers.

Regardless, I knew that I'd witnessed the true Neil and I'd liked what I'd seen. I'd have to worm that side out of him more often. It would be hard but fun trying.

Neil looked different to me now that I'd seen him in a new light and I'd never look at him in the same way I did before again. Other people might see his surliness but I'd see his kind heart underneath. I felt special, like I was part of a secret club. Not many people knew the true Neil but now I did, I liked that.

He didn't know it and I doubt that he wanted to know. However, my heart felt closer to Neil. Like kindling, I wanted to nurture that closeness and watch it burn brighter. Neil had a friend, a good friend, whether he wanted one or not.


	18. The chick & the storm

The storm raged mercilessly outside, attempting to destroy all in it's path. The wind blew relentlessly, bright-white lighting forked in the sky and ear-splitting thunder boomed. It was almost possible to believe that the world was coming to an end.

I sat in the soft hay on the floor of the coop, my knees drawn to my chest and my arms wrapped around them tightly. The hens huddled together in their straw nests, tense and alert. They'd settled down to wait out the storm for what else could they do but wait.

Yet another clap of thunder echoed, I shivered and bit my lip to silence a scream. I was petrified. I was fighting the urge to run to my bed and dive under the covers like a small child. The heavy reinforced coop doors and boarded up windows did little to drown out the storm. The rain pelted against the metal roof.

"What a time you chose to come into the world." I sighed to the cracking egg in the incubator.

The chick was struggling to escape from it's prison of egg shell and membrane. I was desperate to help it but I knew it was a fight it had to do on it's own.

Cracks stemmed down the length of the egg shell. After a long violent struggle the exhausted chick finally broke free, it's head emerged and it pushed itself out of what had been it's confinement for the past three weeks.

Witnessing a beautiful moment of nature I managed to forget the storm outside. I smiled and tentatively leaned closer. The first-time mother hen, Celeste, cried anxiously and strutted around my feet. I was about to put mother with chick when I realised that something wasn't quite right, the chick lay lifeless and unmoving. The chicks legs were sprawled out at odd angles, it's bright yellow down of feathers was wet with the membrane from the egg, and it's head flopped to one side.

My breath caught in my throat and my heart lurched in my chest. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. I hesitated, not knowing what to do, before I gently scooped the limp chick up into the palm of my hand. Celeste squawked at the sight of her chick and moved frantically underneath me.

I stood up tentatively and I bent my head down cautiously to examine the chick. I blew carefully onto the chick's face and I stroked it's back. In desperation I hurried over to the water feeder, I carefully dabbed the chick's beak with cold water. Nothing, no response, no movement. I started to hyperventilate, I don't think the chick was breathing.

Time was of the essence if I wanted to revive the chick but I didn't know what to do! I felt like I was going to go out of my mind. I was scared to do anything in case I made the chick worse, I could so easily hurt it unintentionally in my ignorance. I felt so helpless and the chick was so little. I was damned if I did anything and damned if I did nothing. Every passing second I could feel that the life was draining from the chick, it's window to live closing rapidly. My first hatchling, I couldn't bear the thought of it... of it. No, it was out of the question!

Neil! Goddess, Neil! He would know what to do, he was my only hope. Not hesitating, not thinking, I wrapped the little chick in a handkerchief and carefully placed it into the large front pocket of my dungarees. I walked briskly to the front door of the coop and snatched my rain-jacket from the hook beside it. Celeste hurried after me, squawking at the top of her lungs. I quickly hurried out of the coop doors and shut them firmly closed behind me.

I pulled my hood up and I ran, I ran as fast as my feet would carry me. My heavy footsteps pounded on the ground and sloshed through the rain. The wind whipped stinging pellets of rain into my face and my coat flapped against me. I was soaked in a matter of seconds, my heavy sodden clothes weighed me down and I squinted to see through the thick sheet of endless rain. I kept my head down, trying not to fall as I traced the familiar path to Neil's house. I was blinded by a flash of lighting and I screamed as thunder boomed. My heart was racing, my breathing was ragged and the blood ran cold through my veins. I was like a startled lamb, trying to outrun the lion. Please, don't hit me I thought. Goddess, please don't strike me down again.

I pounded on Neil's front door until it suddenly opened and I stepped back. Neil poked his head out of the crack between the door and squinted out. I roughly pushed him aside and entered the house, kicking the door shut loudly with my heel. My clothes dripped, creating a growing puddle underneath me. Neil gawked at me, completely taken of guard. Exasperatedly, he took in the sight of me, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head. "Rachael, what the hell..." Neil began perplexed.

"There's no time to explain." I snapped. I quickly unzipped my coat and pulled the chick from my pocket. I drew back the handkerchief so that Neil could see the chick completely. I stared into Neil's eyes. "You have to save it!" I desperately pleaded.

Neil's eyes widened in shock. Dumbfounded, he just stared at me and the lifeless chick in the palm of my hand. "Neil!." I shouted. "Damn it! Help me!" I commanded. I thrust the chick at Neil.

Neil blinked and shook his head. He looked at the chick a moment longer before he nodded and carefully took the little creature out of my hands. His brow creased and I saw something come over him. He didn't ask questions and he didn't hesitate, he just responded. Suddenly Neil was in his element and the bubble didn't include me. Neil turned away and I couldn't bear to look. I took a seat on one of the wooden dining chairs and I painstakingly waited...

"I'm so sorry." Neil breathed, placing the chick on the table in front of me. It was wrapped carefully in the white handkerchief. "There was nothing I could do, it was already dead." Neil whispered.

I barely heard him, I stared at the stiff chick in a daze. My mind was blank, devoid of any thought. My body was as rigid as a rod. I felt suspended, stranded in an endless timeless moment where everything was still. I couldn't acknowledge, I wouldn't believe that... that.

Reality slowly came back to me. I could feel my body shaking and hot tears slid down my cheeks onto the little chick. My heart lurched, my gut twisted and a choked cry escaped my lips. I shook my head fiercely. "No,no." I whispered hoarsely.

Rage coursed through me and I violently stood up from the chair, it screeched back behind me on the wooden floor. I glowered at Neil who was looking at me helplessly. "Do something!" I screamed at him. "You have to do something, it can't be..."

My voice died off suddenly and I broke down. The salty tears streamed down my face, sobs heaved through my chest and strangled cries where threatening to gag me.

Neil's face twisted in pain, he hesitated before stepping forward and taking me into his arms. He held me tightly against my sobs and I clawed at the back of his shirt. I buried my face into his warm chest and his head rested on top of mine.

I don't know how long Neil held me in his embrace but he held me until the tears finally stopped and I'd let out my last heaving sob. I'd cried until I was all cried out and now I felt empty on the inside, like there was nothing else left. Neil's strong arms were comforting and I breathed in his familiar musky scent. His clothes were wet from mine and he must've been cold but he didn't say anything.

Eventually I leaned back and looked wide-eyed up at Neil. I needed to know, I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew. "Was it me?" I croaked hoarsely. "Was there something I could've done?"

"No,no." Neil whispered softly, trying to reassure me. "The chick must've been exhausted, it hadn't formed properly..."

I couldn't help but to blame myself. I couldn't help but to think that if I had done something sooner, been quicker, then perhaps the chick might be alive now. I shook my head at Neil. "I sat by." I admitted guiltily. "I sat by and just watched, I saw that the chick was struggling but I didn't help it to hatch."

I closed my eyes, waiting for Neil to tell me that I was right. That I'd neglected the chick, that I didn't deserve to take care of another living thing. The harsh words and the expected accusations didn't come. Neil stroked my damp hair and brushed it out of my face. He held my face gently in the palm of his hands and I leaned my head into his touch. I opened my eyes to see his amethyst ones staring pleadingly into mine.

"No." He murmured, shaking his head slightly. "There was nothing you could've done, forcing the chick to hatch would've made it worse. Sometimes these things happen and..." Neil trailed off, struggling to find the right words to comfort me.

I smiled at him weakly. No matter what he said I'd still blame myself, I'd still drive myself crazy thinking about what I could've done. That is the way of grief. My heart still felt heavy but for a reason I couldn't explain I felt comforted being here with Neil, his presence calmed me and made me feel safe. His eyes swam with concern for me and he looked at me so tenderly my heart faltered. It didn't matter that he'd been avoiding me for a week, it didn't matter that I'd kissed him, it didn't matter what people had been saying about us. The way he cradled my face, the way his face was scrunched in worry, the way his eyes delved so deeply into mine. Nothing seemed to really matter and I felt like everything was going to be okay.

The chick lay nestled in a cardboard box, tucked out of sight. I could almost pretend that it was sleeping. However, as it was out of sight it was easier to keep it out of mind.

"Here." Neil kindly said. He held out a pair of black jogging bottoms and a black t-shirt. "Thank you." I said. I took the warm dry clothes gratefully.

"I'll get changed in the bathroom." Neil said awkwardly but everything about this situation was awkward.

I was about to nod when a flash of lightning lit up the windows and another clap of thunder boomed, it seemed to shake the house. I startled and squealed. I clutched Neil's arm in a vice grip so that he couldn't budge an inch. Neil looked from his trapped arm to me confused. "Don't leave me." I begged him.

I cringed when I thought about how weak I sounded and how fragile I must look. I was embarrassed but I couldn't help it. I was terrified and Neil was my only refuge, I couldn't let him out of my sight. I shook like a small child afraid of the dark.

"What's the matter?" Neil asked, not understanding my sudden wild change in behaviour. Poor guy must think I was crazy.

"The storm..." I whispered. "The lightning and the thunder."

Neil's eyes widened in understanding. I could tell that he realised that I was afraid of the storm. I expected him to make fun of me, to tell me to grow up but he didn't. I must've looked like a frightened animal trapped in the headlights of a car. Neil's eyes flickered away from my own and he scratched the back of his neck with his free hand nervously. "We both have to change..." He trailed off, a pink blush staining his cheeks.

I let go of Neil's arm and I folded my arms across my chest equally embarrassed. I looked down at my feet. "I'll turn around." I mumbled.

I heard Neil choke a little and then cough. "W...what." He stuttered. I looked up at him. His face was bright red and his eyes were wide. I pulled at my hair nervously. "I'll turn around." I said again, a little louder this time.

Neil grumbled and complained but he relented. He could see that I was scared stiff. Neil could be cold-hearted and mean, he got defensive and withdrew when he got embarrassed. However, he wouldn't leave me alone and I could never tell him how much I appreciated that.

My body felt so hot It felt like it might combust, I swear you could've fried an egg on my cheeks. The awkwardness was palpable in the air and it was stifling. I could feel the heavy presence of Neil behind me and I could hear him stripping his damp clothes off. I peeled my heavy soaked clothes off as quickly as I could, they stuck to my skin and I shivered when my skin was exposed to the cold air. I dropped my wet clothes to the floor and I stepped out of my dungarees. I gave a small squeak when I noticed that Neil had given me a pair of his boxers too. I hesitated for a second before I realised that I was stark naked and I shook my head. I pulled on the black boxers, that almost came down to my knees, I pulled on the joggers and I yanked the t-shirt over my head. I rolled the joggers up and I tied a knot in the t-shirt so it fit snugly against my waist.

"Are you finished?" I heard a gruff voice say behind me.

"Y...yes. Are you?" I squeaked making sure.

Neil grunted, I took that as an affirmative and I turned around slowly. Neil had changed into a black hoodie and army printed jogging bottoms. I stared inquisitively at Neil, he was looking at me really weirdly.

"What?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"N...nothing." Neil stammered, his cheeks and nose flaming. His eyes flickered away but they kept on flickering back.

"Right." I drawled out but I couldn't blame him for looking, I knew I probably looked hideous.

After mopping up Neil and I ended up sitting side by side on his leather black sofa, channel surfing. I had a thick plain woolen blanket wrapped around me. Neil sat cross-legged next to me, his thigh brushed mine slightly and I couldn't help but to be aware of how close he was. My leg tingled where his touched mine, my breathing was shallow and it felt like my hair was standing on end. The T.V was turned up loud to try to drown out the storm but it wasn't working. I was barely paying attention to the animal documentary that Neil had put on.

I gave Neil a side-ways glance. He was glued to the T.V, raptured by what the narrator was saying. Thunder boomed fiercely in the sky, like the Gods were trying to tear down heaven. I closed my eyes tightly and I placed my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream. I felt a flight response but my body had no where to run to. A second roll of thunder soon followed the first and I let out a whimper. I unwrapped the blanket from my shoulders and threw it over my head, I placed my hands over my ears and kept my eyes clamped shut. I rocked back and forth slightly and I hummed to myself.

I opened my eyes when I felt movement underneath the blanket and when I saw a flash of light under my eyelids. Neil's head was right next to mine under the blanket, his nose almost skimming mine and his eyes inches away. I noticed that the light came from the flashlight on his phone, it illuminated his sharp features in an eerie way.

I could tell that he was trying to be understanding but Neil's face scrunched up in annoyance and he let out a small irritated sigh. "I know you're scared but there's nothing to be scared of." Neil began cautiously. " You're safe inside, the storm can't reach you and it'll pass."

My eyes flashed and I pursed my lips. I balled up my hands on my knees, trying not to get angry. It's so easy to say that a fear is irrational or irrelevant if you don't feel it yourself.

I poked Neil in the chest. "That's easy for you to say Mr Tough guy with an I'm not scared of anything attitude." I spit at him.

I felt suddenly ridiculous. I shouldn't have expected Neil to understand. Why would he? I was like a snivelling cowering child who needed to grow up but I couldn't fight the fear, I couldn't rationalise it when I was drowning in it. I'd left myself vulnerable and exposed. Recklessly, without caution, I'd shown my weakest self to Neil and I hated myself for that. Neil wasn't a bad guy but he wasn't the sympathetic caring sort either. He was the shut up and deal with it sort, don't bother me with your problems sort.

Neil was surprised by my sudden change in attitude, I'd gone from frightened to volatile in thirty seconds. He searched my face and leaned back carefully, trying to find the right words. I felt defensive, like I had to justify myself.

"You're a fool if you're not afraid." I spat at him. "Lightning can strike like a white hot iron and leave you paralysed."

Neil's eyes widened in surprise and I could see the questions swimming behind his eyes, the questions he was too afraid to ask.

In the hidden illuminated space of the blanket I confessed to Neil why I was so afraid. I felt an inexplicable need to tell him and he deserved to know. I needed to get it off my chest but more than that I needed him to understand, to understand so he could tell me that it's going to be okay and mean it, so that he doesn't look at me like I'm crazy. Neil didn't interrupt me as I told my story and I whispered it into the small space...

"My family and I used to go on holiday every summer to the countryside far away from the city, in the middle of no where, kind of like here." I began, smiling at the memory.

"We stayed in this huge cabin on the outskirts of the woods. There was nobody around for miles and that's how we liked it. Me and my Dad would go fishing on the lake while my Mom watched from the bank, soaking her feet in the shallow waters edge." I felt a pang in my chest remembering. I missed my folks more than I'd admit. I could feel Neil's eyes watching me closely but he didn't say anything, I appreciated that.

"One year my folks were arguing, I can't remember what about. They rarely argued but when they did it got pretty heated. I was tired of the shouting and I noticed a little grey squirrel running around outside. I loved it's bushy tail, it was too cute but then it ran into the forest out of sight."

I stared into the space of the blanket, not seeing anything. Lost in remembering, taking myself back to that day. "My folks didn't notice that I'd slipped out of the door that they'd left open. I chased after the squirrel, head first into the woods, desperate to find it. The trees soon grew so thick that they blocked out the sun and I could barely see the sky. I should've been scared but I didn't turn back. Then I saw the first flash and the thunder boomed. There was no rain, it was a dry summer storm. I turned to run but I realised that I was lost. I saw the little squirrel high up in a tree and I was scared for it, scared it would get hurt in the storm. I started to scale the tree to save it but that's when..."

I drew in a deep breath and I could feel Neil frozen beside me, waiting to hear what had happened. I continued quietly. "That's when a bolt of lighting struck the tree. It was a one in a million chance but I was that one in a million. I don't remember but I was told later how I was airlifted to hospital and about how I almost died. They said the lightning passed through my body, barely missing my heart. It was a miracle that I was alive, a miracle that I was left with nothing more than scars."

As if I had to prove that my story was real I untied the knot in the black t-shirt and turned around slightly. I lifted the t-shirt up, the scars across the length of my back where evident. They stemmed like thin branching vines, mapping the path that the lighting had took.

I heard a small sharp intake of breath behind me and I flinched. I knew what Neil was thinking. I knew that Neil's face would be twisted with disgust, that he'd be shrinking away. My scars were a mark of ugliness, they were a grotesque imperfection. Neil would be repulsed. I was when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I quickly started to intensely regret my moment of confidence and bravery, my moment of pure trust. I was about to yank the t-shirt down when I felt a cold touch on my back, I flinched again. My breath caught in my throat. I realised with shock that Neil was slowly, gently, tracing the lines of my scars with his fingertip using a touch as soft as a feather. I could feel his presence behind me, I could hear his heavy breathing.

I pulled the t-shirt back down and leaned away. pulling off the blanket I drew back against the cold black leather of the couch and I curled up into myself. I couldn't look at Neil, I leaned my head on my drawn up knees. I looked back when I felt a hand tuck my hair behind my ear. Neil's features were carefully composed not giving anything away, his eyes were soft but wary, and his mouth was taught in a thin line. I could tell what I looked like by the way he looked at me. I must've looked like a frightened animal: Cautious, vulnerable and ready to flee at any moment.

Neil's amethyst eyes burned intensely into mine, trapping my sapphire ones, and for once he didn't struggle for words. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your scars, you should be proud of them. They show that you're a survivor, that you won the fight and lived to tell the tale."

My mouth twitched up in a half-smile, sweetness coursed through my chest. I didn't know if I could believe him, years of self-loathing my scars couldn't be taken away by a few pretty words. However, I'd much prefer to be proud than ashamed. Aside from my father Neil was the only other person who'd seen my scars that way. I remember my mother, loving as she was, trying to hide them while she drew attention to my pretty face instead. 'A lady should flaunt her beauty and hide her flaws' she used to say to me. Maybe, that's why she almost had a heart-attack when I told her I was going to be a farmer.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I watched Neil bend down and lift up the leg of his jogging bottoms. He didn't need to answer when I saw the scar, it looked like bite marks. Neil flashed me a sheepish grin. "I tried to pet the neighbour's guard dog when I was a kid." He simply explained.

I couldn't help myself and I laughed. It seemed so typical of Neil. I could picture a young Neil trying to love a rabid dog.

"I've got an idea." Neil said suddenly. I watched as he got up from the sofa and walked across the room. He pulled out a vintage electric guitar from it's hiding place at the back of his beds headboard, he snatched up a pair of thick black headphones from the bedside table.

I admired the guitar, it was beautiful. It was worn in places but it shone where the light reflected off it, the guitar was black around the edges reaching lighter shades of brown until it reached the centre.

"I didn't know you played the guitar." I said to Neil as he sat back down next to me on the sofa, the guitar balanced on his lap.

"That's because I never told you." He replied sulkily. I shrugged his snarky attitude off and rolled my eyes.

"My old man used to play to me all the time." I reminisced.

Neil raised his eyebrows at me. "Do you play?" He asked.

"Just a few chords." I replied shrugging my shoulders. "But my mother used to make me practice the piano." I stated offhandedly.

Neil shook his head, not very impressed I thought. He then thrust the black headphones into my hands.

"What are these for?" I asked frowning.

"Just put them on." Neil grumbled.

I blinked at him but decided not to argue. Obligingly I put on the headphones, they were large but comfortable. I cursorily watched as Neil plugged the headphones into the bottom of his guitar. Without a pause he commenced to play, leaning back on the sofa and closing his eyes. The music that reached my ears was almost deafening. I watched as Neil's hands expertly plucked the guitar, his features relaxed and his head bobbed up and down a little. What on Earth was he doing? I thought. Then I realised I could barely hear the storm anymore and I knew what Neil was trying to do. Not thinking any more about it I leaned back into the sofa too and I closed my eyes, letting the music envelop me. For the first time since the storm had started I felt relaxed rather than scared stiff. The music drowned my senses and I could almost forget about the storm raging outside.

The music was enchanting, it was soft and sweet like a lullaby. It wasn't something I expected Neil to play, it didn't seem like it would be his style. I would've expected something louder with a quicker beat, rock or metal.

I smiled a little to myself. So this was what Neil did when he was hiding from the world, I realised it was one of the first real things that I had ever learned about him. I'd known him for nearly two seasons but all I had gathered was that he liked animals. For all I knew he stared at the wall all day but the guy had hobbies, he was good at them too. As I listened I thought if the music held any meaning, it sounded soulful. My eyes flickered to Neil and I realised he was like an iceberg, you saw only the tip on the surface but you couldn't see how far it reached down into the depths of the ocean...

Neil stopped playing suddenly and I opened my eyes again. He indicated for me to take off the headphones and I did. "Listen." Neil instructed. "I think the storm's passed."

I held my breath and listened intently, afraid of being lured into a false sense of security. The wind still blew viciously but it didn't sound as aggressive as it once was. I listened for a few minutes but I was inclined to believe that Neil was right when I didn't hear a roar of thunder. I sighed in relief, the storm had finally passed and I was save. That was a source of indescribable comfort to me. My chest felt free and I felt as if I could breath properly again. The storm had passed, I kept repeating to myself, and the world hadn't ended.

Neil balanced his guitar against the sofa and I stood up awkwardly.

"Neil..." I began unsure, twisting my hands. "Erm... Thanks for everything." I had no idea what to say. Tonight, I couldn't thank Neil enough for what he had done for me. I couldn't pour my heart out to him, say that I'd always remember tonight and the way that I'd felt. I'd been wrapped in Neil, ensnared, trapped. I'd been wrapped in his words, in his feather touches and the way he'd looked at me. That I was frightened now that the bubble had popped and I didn't know where we stood. I hadn't really known before but now I was completely lost. Tomorrow, would we go back to the way we were? Would Neil go back to avoiding me? Would we talk about this? Would Neil close up like a clam, unreachable and distant? These questions whirled through my head and made me feel dizzy.

Without acknowledgement, without thought, I'd opened up to Neil and he'd done the same. I'd seen how far the iceberg, that was Neil, could reach down. He seemed like he hated the world, like he didn't care about anyone. Then why had he treated me so sweetly? Tonight he'd seen my imperfections and my flaws but he hadn't shied away, he hadn't seemed afraid of my ugly side rather he seemed to have embraced it. You can't experience that and not feel closer to a person or maybe it was just me.

Ugh, I couldn't figure this out and I couldn't figure him out. Feelings swirled in my chest, becoming entangled so I couldn't work one out from the other. I didn't know what this meant and I was too exhausted to try. I looked at Neil, his face expressionless, giving up nothing.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and looked at the floor. "Erm... I best go." I said, not offering any more. I turned to walk towards the coat rack beside the front door. I stopped when I felt a hand on my arm. I turned back around and frowned at Neil. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

Neil looked at me like I was crazy and maybe I was. "Are you mad? You're not going back home tonight." He said sternly.

"Why not?" I demanded stubbornly. The truth was that I knew it was ridiculous to walk home right now but I felt like I needed to escape. Being around Neil felt too much all of a sudden, I felt choked and confused. I couldn't act normally and I was scared I might say something touchy feely that I couldn't take back.

Neil looked at me incredulously and scoffed. "If you need a reason, here's a few." He snapped at me snarkily. "It's the middle of the night, it's treacherous outside and it's just plain stupid."

I glared daggers at Neil and snatched my arm away. I knew I was being completely unreasonable and I could tell by the look on his face that Neil wasn't going to let me go home untill morning.

"Fine." I conceded huffily.

I lay entwined in the black silken sheets of Neil's bedspread. I'd insisted that he take the bed but he'd refused insisting that he'd take the sofa. I was burned-out but my mind refused to rest, I listened in the darkness to Neil's soft breathing.

I felt so out of place, so uncomfortable. I had no idea why. My heart was all of a flutter and I couldn't stop thinking about the guy sleeping less than thirty feet away from me. My chest felt warm and I couldn't stop smiling to myself. What was wrong with me? It was like I had a crush. The word 'crush' hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to stifle a gasp. That was it, it rang clear as day and I couldn't deny it. It explained everything. I had a crush on Neil. I liked Neil. Shit! I liked Neil! Neil! Oh, boy. I was in some trouble...


	19. The chick & the storm - Neil's P.O.V

I pulled back the thick heavy plain black drapes and stared at the world outside. Torrential rain pelted against the window like a never-ending racket of bullets. It streamed down the glass like a waterfall, blurring the view of the town outside. I watched riveted, my senses spiked and tuned to the storm. The blighted wind rattled the front door and the ceiling seemed to shake with every ear-splitting boom of thunder. White-lighting danced across the sky, struggling desperately to touch the earth. It was like an unforgiving entity was laying it's wrath upon the world, beseeching it to end. Storms had always fascinated me: The rage, the power, the unlimited scope for destruction, a force outside of control.

Drawing back from the window I sighed, I felt restless and trapped. The storm had forced me to shut-up shop for the day and I didn't know what to do with the hours that stretched out in front of me. My lips twitched up in a half smile when I felt the first sparks of inspiration start to ignite. I wanted to write, to play a song that shook the world like the storm raging outside. My fingers itched for my guitar and I eagerly began to make my way towards its hiding place behind the back of my bed. I had only taken a few steps when I heard a hammering on the door. Startled, I paused and looked incredulously at the door. I thought it must've been the storm causing the door to shake against it's hinges but the hammering continued. I warily made my way to the front door, I didn't know whether I should've braced myself to find a complete lunatic on the other side or to expect an emergency. I unlocked the door but left the chain on, I cracked open the door and peered out.

I squinted to see through the pouring sheets of rain. My eyes widened in shock and I felt my jaw slacken. "Rachael, what the hell..." I began in disbelief. I furrowed my brow unsure to belief what I saw. Rachael was shivering uncontrollably on the front step, soaked to the bone. "There's no time to explain." Rachael snapped as she began to try to push her way into the house. I hastily pulled back the chain and stepped back.

Rachael stood panting in the entryway. Water from her clothes and hair dripped to the floor, growing into a small puddle. Her face was drawn and pale as she stared up at me with wide midnight eyes. She hastily pulled back her hood and unzipped her rain-jacket, it feel off her shoulders and clung to her arms. I watched dubiously as she pulled a white handkerchief out of the large front pocket of her dungarees. My eyes shot up as Rachael gently pulled back the sides of the handkerchief to reveal a chick. "You have to save it!" She pleaded desperately, staring into my eyes.

I stared, completely dumbfounded. The little chick was still and lifeless in the palm of her hand. Rachael's face was anxious and tight, it looked like she was about to crumble to pieces.

"Damn it! Help me!" Rachael shouted in a commanding tone. I flinched and came back to my senses. Rachael thrust her palm out towards me and I gingerly scooped the chick up into my hand. I turned away from Rachael, there was no time for questions. I was completely focused on the little chick in the palm of my hand, everything else faded into the background. My years of experience and learned knowledge kicked in.

Warmth, that's what the poor little creature needed. Warmth and water. I'm sure I had a UV lamp around here somewhere. Automatically, mechanically, I did a brief vital check. I caressed the chick's soft down of yellow feathers. I checked for a heartbeat, I checked for breathing, I checked for any sign of life but there wasn't one. The chick wouldn't need anything else because it was already dead. I felt my heart drop. I sighed and closed my eyes. I'd been defeated before I'd even had a chance to try. It was rare that anything could make my heart bleed but I hadn't wrapped my heart in enough ice that I didn't feel this. In my line of work you had to harden yourself to such occasions, it was nature even if nature was cruel. I'd seen it dozens of times but it hurt like hell every time.

I turned my head back and looked at Rachael, she was sitting hunched over the kitchen table with her head in her hands. This was going to kill her but I had to find the strength to tell her. I placed and carefully wrapped the chick back in the white handkerchief. Dreading the next moments that were to come I gently made my way to where Rachael was sitting, I tried to steel myself.

Rachael didn't look up as I approached and I softly placed the chick on the table in front of her. "I'm so sorry." I whispered. "There was nothing I could do, it was already dead."

Rachael didn't respond, she just sat there stiff as a board staring at the little chick in a daze. I don't know if she'd heard me and I didn't know if I should say more. I stood watching her anxiously, waiting to see how she'd respond. I felt a desperate heart-clenching need to comfort her but I felt so out of my element, I was frightened to do anything in case I made the situation worse.

Rachael slowly came back to life, her body began to shake and I saw the first of the tears begin to stream down her face. My heart lurched and I knew that I was reflecting the pain that I saw in her face. Rachael shook her head fiercely. "No, no." She whispered to herself hoarsely.

Rachael suddenly stood up from the kitchen chair, it screeched back on the wooden floor. Rachael's face was twisted with anger and pain. Her hair was disarrayed, her face was red and her sapphire eyes shone through her tears. I looked at her helplessly, completely lost. She glowered at me. "Do something!" Rachael screamed at me. "You have to do something, it can't be..."

Rachael's voice broke off in a choke and she broke down. She was gagging on her own strangled cries as sobs heaved out of her small body. Endless tears streamed down her face. She crossed her arms against her chest, trying to hold herself together and failing. Seeing her so vulnerable, my whole body ached. I froze. I hesitated for a brief moment before I crossed the divide between us and took her in my arms. I held her tightly, she stiffened for a moment before she buried her face in my chest and clutched at the back of my shirt. I leaned my head against hers and gave a soft squeeze. I knew words were meaningless, all I could do was hold her until the pain went away and hope that that was enough.

I don't know how long we stayed like that but I held Rachael until the tears stopped, eventually she became still in my arms. I looked down at Rachael anxiously, her eyes were closed. She sighed and buried her face deeper into my chest. She sniffled for a while before she slowly drew back and looked up at me with wide-eyes. Her face was pinched with fear and doubt, her eyes swam with the uneasiness that she must've felt. She hesitated before she croaked hoarsely. "Was it me? Was there something I could've done?"

I grimaced, of course she'd try to blame herself. "No, no." I whispered softly, trying to reassure her. "The chick must've been exhausted, it hadn't formed properly..." I trailed off and rubbed her shoulders, I tried to communicate through the look I gave her that I didn't think it was her fault.

Rachael shook her head stubbornly, her face looked guilt-ridden. "I sat by." She whispered. "I sat by and just watched, I saw that the chick was struggling but I didn't help it to hatch."

Rachael closed her eyes and scrunched up her face, she felt tense in my arms. I could guess the thoughts that would be racing a mile a minute through her head, eating her up from the inside out, not allowing her a minute of rest. Rachael was her own worst enemy right now, she was a weapon aimed at herself. The memory was still too fresh, the pain still too raw. She'd drive herself crazy like this. I had to try to drag her out of herself. Seeing her like this was agony, the knot twisted tighter in my stomach and I swallowed hard.

I cradled Rachael's face gently, my hands warming her frozen cheeks. I stroked her damp hair, brushing it out of her face. Rachael's eyes fluttered open slightly, her gaze met mine. I stared into the sapphire depths of her midnight eyes. "No." I murmured, shaking my head slightly. "There was nothing you could've done, forcing the chick to hatch would've made it worse. Sometimes these things happen and..." I trailed off, struggling to find the right words to comfort her.

Rachael smiled weakly but it didn't quite manage to reach her eyes. Rachael looked at me fondly, tenderly, before she slowly freed herself from my arms. I knew then that I could only stay with her, try and distract her. In time she'd get past this and heal. I could afford to give her time.

I'd put the chick, wrapped up in the handkerchief, in a cardboard box. I'd bury it tomorrow, for now I tucked it out of sight.

"Here." I handed Rachael a pair of black jogging bottoms and a plain black t-shirt. She needed to get out of those wet clothes or she'd catch pneumonia. "Thank you." Rachael said. She took the dry warm clothes gratefully.

"I'll get changed in the bathroom." I muttered awkwardly. What about this situation wasn't awkward? I couldn't look Rachael in the eye. I found myself completely out of my depth, struggling to keep my head above the water. I felt like I was burning up. I'd been thrust into a situation I didn't know how to navigate through, anxiety was barking at my heels like a rabid dog. What was the right thing to do? What was the right thing to say? My earlier confidence and directness had evaporated. I didn't feel like myself, the air felt dense and heavy.

I turned to make my way towards the bathroom, my cheeks burning up slightly. The thought of Rachael wearing my clothes made me tingle.

I heard another clap of booming thunder, it seemed to shake the foundations of the house. I heard a startled squeak behind me. I felt a hand clutch around my arm tighter than a vice grip. Confused, I turned to look back at Rachael. She looked frantic, her face had gone white and the fear was evident in her eyes. I looked back down at my arm, Rachael held it so tightly I could see red marks beginning to form and it felt like the blood circulation had stopped.

"What's the matter?" I asked, scrunching my brow. I struggled to understand Rachael's erratic wild change of behaviour.

"The storm..." She barely whispered. "The lightning and the thunder." Her eyes were wide as saucers and I could feel her trembling.

I rose my eyes, understanding. Rachael was terrified of the storm. My heart lurched, she looked like a rabbit trapped by the headlights of an ever-approaching car. Scared, knowing the danger but unable to flee. This caused quite the predicament. I scratched my neck with my free hand, feeling nervous and at a loss. "We both have to change..." I trailed off.

Rachael let go of my arm and I rubbed it genially, trying to get the blood flow back. Rachael looked at me apologetically. She crossed her arms tightly against her chest, clearly embarrassed too. Rachael looked down at her feet. "I'll turn around." I thought I heard her mumble.

I chocked and tried to hide it with a cough. "W...what?" I stuttered. I was sure that I had heard wrong. Surely she couldn't mean what I thought she meant. Not Rachael who was as innocent as a girl-scout and frigid as a rod. The mere conception of it made my stomach churn. Despite my damp clothes all of a sudden I felt hot.

Rachael stood there uncomfortably, pulling at her hair nervously and shuffling her feet. "I'll turn around." She said again louder.

I stood there blankly, staring at her wide-eyed. I hadn't misheard. My mouth was opening and closing like a fish. I couldn't think of anything to say let alone form words. My face was on fire. I waited for Rachael to retract her request. She must be joking, at times she did have a rather messed up sense of humour. The minutes slipped by but she didn't let on that she was pulling my leg. I internally groaned when I had to come to the conclusion that she was serious. Rachael was still refusing to look at me and her cheeks were burning too. She was clenching and unclenching her hand, she drew in short shallow breaths. I had never seen her like this before, timid and embarrassed.

I wasn't cruel enough to leave her alone to freak out. Hell, how did I get myself into these situations?! There was only one thing to do and I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. I let out a heavy sigh. "Fine." I conceded.

Rachael's eyes flickered up to search mine, to see if I meant it. Her eyes lit up and she flashed me a small smile. She squeaked as she turned around.

Heat coursed through me. Every fibre of my body felt like it was on fire. You could taste the awkwardness in the air, it was heavy and stifling. I was intensely aware of the presence of Rachael not five feet behind me. I winced when I heard her take her squeaky boots off. I heard the ruffle of her clothes as piece by piece I heard them drop to the floor. I tensed, I had to struggle to keep myself under control. I felt an uncontrollable desire to look, to peek. After all there was a naked chick in my house, a hot one. I was just a guy. This situation sucked. Normally, when I was alone with a woman the scene didn't play out like this and she was a heck of a lot more forward. I pinched myself hard and grimaced. I shook my head vigorously. This was Rachael! Most of the time she had mud in her hair, grass stains on her cheeks and she wore mannish overalls. I didn't think about her in that concept, she was like an annoying kid sister or the brat next door. Thinking anything else was weird and completely redefined everything. I could not deal with that right now. I gritted my teeth. Damn, it was hard to keep clean thoughts when I couldn't not hear her stripping off.

I sighed and yanked my t-shirt over my head. I hastily pulled my combat pants down, pulling one leg out and then the other. I cursed under my breath when I tripped over myself. I pulled a thick warm plain black hoodie over my head and I stepped into army printed jogging bottoms. I was growing impatient. I had to get out of this situation, I felt like I couldn't breath.

"Are you finished?" I asked gruffly.

"Y...yes. Are you?" I heard a high-pitched squeak answer behind me.

I grunted and cautiously turned around. My eyes subtly looked Rachael up and down. I drew in a shaky breath. Rachael stood there, not too sure of what to do with herself. She gave me a breathy smile and crossed her arms self-consciously against her chest. Rachael narrowed her eyes at me a little, her eyes kept on flickering away and back. A voice in the back of my head was screaming at me that I was staring but I ignored it. I looked at her wide-eyed, unabashed. Seeing Rachael in my clothes took my breath away. It was hard not to see her as anything but a woman now. She'd rolled the jogging bottoms up and she'd tied the large t-shirt around her delicate waist. Rachael moved to one side, the knot in the t-shirt rode up a little revealing her waist and the slightest hint of her curves. I gulped heavily, I suddenly felt very thirsty. My stomach churned, my chest tightened, my heart was thumping and I felt a shallow ache.

"What?" Rachael suddenly asked bringing me back to myself. She looked at me from under her eyelashes and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"N...nothing." I stammered quickly. Hideously aware that I had been caught my eyes flickered away but they kept on peeping back up on their own accord. Idiot I screamed to myself, with how obvious I was being Rachael would've had to have been blind not to have noticed. But it was obvious she didn't know what she was doing to me, she didn't know she was lighting me up. Part of me wanted to scream at her to stop.

"Right." Rachael drawled. She grimaced as she looked down at herself and examined her damp hair. She was so ignorant to how attractive she was, it was driving me crazy.

After cleaning up I ended up sitting side by side on the black leather couch with Rachael. I was channel surfing and Rachael was wrapped up in a thick plain woolen blanket. I sat with my legs crossed and my thigh occasionally brushed Rachael's. I was consciously aware of how close we were. My body was tense, alert and my skin tingled whenever it made contact with hers. The feel of her shoulder touching mine or the feel of her foot on the bottom of my leg as she crossed hers. Strangely, I didn't flinch or shy away from the contact. I didn't feel the unrelenting urge to distance myself. For a reason I didn't want to try to acknowledge I wanted to get closer. This close I felt her warmth and I wanted more. I felt like I was starting to thaw.

The T.V was turned up loud to try and drown out the storm. I settled on watching an animal documentary and I tried to get sucked into it, concentrating hard on what the narrator was saying. I kept my eyes glued to the screen, not looking at Rachael. Thunder boomed fiercely in the sky, like an electric-guitar blasting through a fully turned up amp. I knew lighting would soon follow but the thick dark curtains were drawn across all the windows. I heard a stifled scream and I twisted around. Rachael had a hand over her mouth and her eyes were squeezed shut. A second roll of thunder boomed. Rachael whimpered, she snatched the blanket of her shoulders and threw it over her head. Under the blanket I could see that she was rocking back and forth, she was humming loudly to herself.

I sighed and scowled. I had tried to be understanding and patient but now I felt the whole thing was a little ridiculous. I knew that she was scared but I didn't see why she had to be so irrational. I couldn't carry on like this all night. No matter how much I tried or wanted to help her I couldn't, I couldn't control the weather and neither could she. My compassion and sympathy only stretched so far and it was running low. I needed to try and push her to get a grip, to persuade her to think logically. I found it hard to believe that a woman who handled huge livestock and ran a farm on her own could be scared of a storm.

I lifted up the bottom of the blanket and stuck my head through. The dim light in the living room wasn't strong enough to penetrate through the thick blanket very much. Squinting I pulled out my phone and turned on the flashlight, a sudden bright light penetrated the tight darkness. Rachael's eyes was still clamped shut. Blinking to adjust to the light I realised how close I was. My face was right in front of Rachael's, my nose almost skimmed her check and our eyes were inches away. Rachael slowly opened her eyes, she squinted and blinked. The light illuminated her sapphire eyes and the soft contours of her face.

I heard an irritated sigh escape my lips. I drew in a quiet breath, trying to keep calm. I could feel my free hand ball into a fist as I tried to remind myself that patience was meant to be a virtue. I couldn't help but feel that I was dealing with a small child and I was not good at that. Despite my effort I felt my face scrunch up. "I know you're scared but there's nothing to be scared of." I began cautiously. "You're safe inside, the storm can't reach you and it'll pass."

Rachael's eyes flashed, her face twisted and she pursed her lips. Her hands balled up on her knees and her eyes narrowed dangerously. Rachel suddenly seemed to be very hostile. She straightened her back and rolled back her atmosphere tightened in the close space.

Rachael poked me sharply in the chest. "That's easy for you to say Mr Tough guy with an I'm not scared of anything attitude." She spit harshly at me.

My eyes widened. I was taken aback by her sudden change in attitude. She'd gone from frightened to volatile in thirty seconds. I eyed Rachael cautiously and leaned back. I searched her face carefully and tried to find the right thing to say. I felt like I was trying to diffuse a bomb or grapple with a viper. One wrong move and I'd be blown to smithereens or bitten by venomous fangs.

Rachael glared at me and crossed her arms tightly over her chest. "You're a fool if you're not afraid." She spat at me. "Lightning can strike like a white hot iron and leave you paralysed."

I felt my brow furrow and my mouth drop open a little. What Rachael had said had been cryptic but it was clear that something had happened to her. Something traumatic that was making her behave like this. Questions bubbled up but I couldn't bring myself to ask one, scared of how she'd react.

It turns out I didn't have to. In the hidden illuminated space of the blanket Rachael started to confess to me why she was so afraid. She whispered her story into the small space, unravelling it slowly. I listened with bated breath, straining to hear every word. Rachael's stare became glassy and far away, it was like she was only there in body while her mind had travelled back. She smiled slightly and her eyes creased in the corners as she talked about her folks and past summers shared. Her face dropped and became pale and lifeless. Her voice became more and more listless as the story progressed and became less of a happy memory.

I sat silently and listened without interrupting as she continued her monologue in a monotone voice. Rachael drew in a deep breath as she was coming to the end. I felt frozen to the seat, my breathing short and shallow. "That's when a bolt of lightning struck the tree. It was a one in a million chance but I was that one in a million. I don't remember but I was told later how I was airlifted to hospital and about how I almost died. They said the lightning passed through my body, barely missing my heart. It was a miracle that I was alive, a miracle that I was left with nothing more than scars."

I internally stifled a gasp. I was left reeling. Before I had time to think or to digest what I'd just heard Rachael began to untie the knot in the black shirt she was wearing. She held my gaze for a second before she slowly turned around. She hesitated before she lifted up the t-shirt. My eyes bulged and I drew in a sharp breath. I saw Rachael flinch but she stayed where she was. Thin scars stemmed the length of Rachael's back like branching vines, mapping the path that the lighting had taken. The scars were old and long healed but they were still clear and defined, in some places they were purple and blue.

A mixture of emotions whirled through me, racing and wrapping around each other so I couldn't define a specific one: Shock, remorse, guilt, anger, sympathy. They swirled in my chest until they blurred together. Strangely, I felt a twinge of curiosity. I felt it faintly, it was buried under all the other emotions like a needle in a haystack but it was rising to the surface. I felt a sudden urge to touch, to feel, to see if what I saw was real. Without really thinking I leaned forward and touched the skin of Rachael's uncovered back with the tip of my index finger. She flinched but she didn't move or say anything. Drawing confidence from that I trailed my fingertip down the length of her scars, following the trail of the branching vines. My breathing had become heavy. Rachael was perfectly still, frozen under my feather light touch.

At first I felt angry with myself. Angry, that I'd gotten short with her. Angry, that I'd thought she was behaving childish when I hadn't the faintest idea what she'd gone through. It was easy to judge when you didn't know the reason, the story behind why someone behaved like they did. It was easy to react to someone in retaliation to what they showed at face value. But it was what was hidden underneath, the truth that people didn't let you see, that mattered. A person could be smiling on the outside but crying on the inside. A person could pretend that he wasn't scared of anything or anyone but really be scared shitless on the inside. From experience I knew that better than anyone and yet tonight I'd done the same. I wanted to kick myself for that.

I looked at the tapestry of her scars in awe. Rachael suddenly pulled away and yanked the t-shirt back down. She pulled the blanket off my head in the process. She took the blanket off her own head and cast it over the arm of the sofa. She leaned back into the leather couch and curled up as much as she could. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Rachael looked at me with cautious eyes, her features tight and her lips set into a rigid line. Her nostrils flared as she drew in deep breaths, her eyes flickered uneasily around the room. She reminded me of a wounded animal looking for a way to escape.

My heart ached and my chest heaved. In this moment Rachael was a shell of the confident, cocky, know-it-all, ray of sunshine who annoyed the hell out of me. Catching her eyes I could tell what she was thinking. She was afraid of how I'd react and of what I thought. She loathed her scars and she expected me too as well but I didn't. I thought they were a mark of bravery. She was vulnerable and scared and yet she'd shown me a part of herself that she didn't like. Rachael was proud and stubborn. Yet she'd let down her walls and wore her heart on her sleeve. She'd dropped the pretence of being untouchable, together, self-reliant and above it all. I couldn't tell her how much I admired and respected her for that. I felt that I could never do it.

When Rachael's gaze flickered to mine again I held it, trapping her sapphire eyes in my amethyst ones. My features were carefully composed, my mouth set in a taut line. I knew she was sensitive so I kept my face blank. I slowly but cautiously leaned over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. For once I knew what to say. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your scars, you should be proud of them. They show that you're a survivor, that you won the fight and lived to tell the tale."

Rachael looked at me tenderly and her mouth twitched up in a half-smile. She gazed up at me sweetly but underneath I could see that my words hadn't had the complete effect that I'd wanted them to. It was enough that she knew what I thought and how I felt. I could tell my words had affected her and made her think, in time she might come to think about herself the way I did. Scars weren't just physical they were emotional, it took effort and practice to heal. I might open the way but I couldn't lead her, she needed to change her own mind.

Suddenly, I had an idea. "What are you doing?" Rachael asked as I bent down and lifted up the right leg of my jogging bottoms. I didn't answer. I lifted the leg of my jogging bottoms up to my knee, revealing a large bite mark towards the bottom of my calf. I looked up at Rachael and grinned sheepishly. "I tried to pet the neighbour's guard dog when I was a kid." I simply explained.

Rachael stared at my leg blankly for a moment before she snorted and laughed. He clear laugh rang out around the room and she shook her head. She grinned and then she smiled fondly at me. My lips twitched, I flashed her a half-smile back. My idea had had the desired effect.

I couldn't stay pleased for long. I'd just saw a flash of the old Rachael, the one I knew and be damned actually kind of liked. I couldn't chase away the storm and another clap of thunder could boom again at any second. That was it! I couldn't chase away the storm but I could drown it out. "I've got an idea." I said springing to my feet.

I felt Rachael's eyes on me as I walked across the room. I retrieved my rustic worn guitar from the back of my bed's headboard. I snatched a pair of thick black headphones from my bedside table.

Avoiding Rachael's inquiring glance I sat back down on the sofa and balanced the guitar on my lap. "I didn't know you played the guitar." I heard a curious voice speak up beside me.

Pretending to be interested in my guitar I replied sulkily. "That's because I never told you."

When I had this idea the thought hadn't initially occurred to me that I'd be revealing my hobby. No, more than a hobby. My love for music and the instrument I played. There was only one other thing that beat the feeling of my guitar coming to life under my hands. That was caring for animals but pouring my soul into my music came pretty close.

I normally didn't tell people that I could play, I kept the fact a hidden secret. Once someone found out they thought they could use it as a platform to get to know me or try and relate to me. I hated the attention people knowing brought. It also brought a string of questions: Can you play for me? Can you sing? Why are you an animal dealer when you could be a musician? Do you write your own songs? Blah blah blah. I simply didn't like to tell people because they didn't understand what music meant to me. How I used it to express myself in a way I couldn't show with words or actions. Through a string of chords I could channel my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I rarely showed that deeper side of myself to anyone. But this was a required situation and a simple song wouldn't hurt or reveal too much.

"My old man used to play all the time." I heard Rachael say next to me in an off tone. Like she was speaking to herself.

This surprised me. I turned towards her and raised my eyebrows. It turned out I wasn't the only one who kept things to myself. "Do you play?" I asked.

Rachael hummed seeming to think about it for a moment. "Just a few chords." She replied shrugging her shoulders. "But my mother used to make me practice the piano." She grimaced. I gathered that wasn't a fond memory.

I was interested that we seemed to have more in common than a taste in music. The realisation pleased me for some reason. A part of me liked the idea that perhaps we weren't polar opposites, that we could have something we both related to. I wondered how much a few chords would turn out to be. Suddenly, the prospect of revealing my passion didn't seem too daunting. Rather the aspect of sharing it seemed kind of exciting. I shoved the idea out of my head. Not understanding what had come over me. The notion was ludicrous. I didn't share that side of myself for reasons I had to painfully remind myself of.

I simply shook my head and thrust the black headphones into Rachael's open hands.

"What are these for?" She asked frowning.

"Just put them on." I grumbled.

Rachael blinked at me and pursed her lips slightly. But she didn't argue and she obligingly put on the headphones. They drowned her petite face but she moved them into a comfortable position on the top of her head.

I proceeded to plug the headphones into the bottom of my guitar. Not glancing at Rachael again I leaned back into the soft cool leather of the sofa and closed my eyes. Without a pause my fingers naturally danced over the guitar strings and I began to play. I didn't need to think or concentrate. I played the first song that came into my head. The guitar thrummed under my hands and we worked in perfect sync. I felt myself relax, my worries melting away. Playing always had this affect on me. It was a soothing palm to the storm that raged too frequently in my head. It was an escape. Of it's own accord my head started to bob up and down. With a shock I realised that I was playing the nameless lullaby. The one that Rachael had seemed to inspire.

The lullaby strummed out soft and sweet, it continued that way until it slowly winded down to an end. Even though I couldn't hear the music I felt the last note ring out and hang in the air. I was about to go on to play another song, something more upbeat, until I noticed the quiet. I opened my eyes and raised my head. I set the guitar on my lap. I strained to hear. The wind still blew viciously but it was considerably quieter than what it had been a short while ago. I could no longer hear the downpour of rain. I waited a little while but I didn't hear a clap of thunder. I looked at Rachael. She had her eyes closed with her head leaned back. She opened her eyes and looked at me when I didn't continue to play anything. I indicated for her to take off the headphones. She threw me a curious look but she obliged and took off the headphones. "Listen." I instructed. "I think the storm's passed."

Rachael's eyes widened. She drew in a sharp breath and bit down on her lip. She cocked her head to one side and listened tentatively. She listened carefully for a few minutes. Rachael hesitated before she slowly got up off the sofa and made her way towards the window. She paused before quickly sweeping back the heavy black curtains to look outside. I watched her as she looked up at the sky. She sighed in relief and gave a breathy laugh. Rachael turned back around to face me and smiled. Her face had relaxed and I could see the light in her eyes. I watched as she started to unfreeze from the fear that had gripped her. She started to come back to herself. Her gaze flickered away and she stared at a spot above and to the side of my head. She was realising that she was safe, that the storm had started to pass and she hadn't been hurt. She laughed again, giddy with relief. When she looked back at me her eyes were sparkling and she grinned, it reached her eyes and the dimple on her chin bobbed. She was coming back to the Rachael that I knew. I grinned back.

Rachael walked back towards the sofa. She stood in front of me, keeping a distance. She looked anywhere but at me. She stood there awkwardly, looking out of place. "Neil…" She began unsure, twisting her hands. "Erm… Thanks for everything."

I watched her closely, not really sure what to do. The atmosphere had changed with the dissipation of the storm. The little sphere we had been in had melted away. I could feel the awkwardness striking up between us again. My body was tense and my mind was super aware. I groaned internally and I cringed. I wanted to be alone, to think. To think about what had happened tonight, to think about what had changed and what would happen now. But thinking brought on feelings that I didn't want to feel. I wanted to shove the sweet warm sickening feelings down my throat and choke on them. I really didn't feel like myself. Out of control, unconfident and unsure of myself. I swallowed hard, my temple began to pump and I knew a strong headache was coming on.

Rachael tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked at the floor. She looked as uncomfortable as I felt. "Erm… I best go." She said. She quickly turned towards the coat rack by the front door. Without thought or hesitation I leapt up off the sofa. I grabbed Rachael by the arm and pulled her to a stop. She turned back around and frowned at me. "What are you doing?" She asked incredulously.

I narrowed my eyes at her. What did she mean what was I doing. What the hell was she doing?! If I hadn't thought she was already crazy I would've done now. "Are you mad? You're not going home tonight." I said sternly.

"Why not?" She demanded stubbornly pursing her lips. Now I was the one who looked at Rachael incredulously. She always had to be so difficult but this was bordering on the point of being ridiculous. I scoffed. "If you need a reason, here's a few." I snapped at her snarkily. "It's the middle of the night, it's treacherous outside and it's just plain stupid."

Rachael glared daggers at me and snatched her arm away. I matched her glare and shot her down. There was no way in hell I was letting her walk home tonight. I felt like I was drowning in her and I wanted to resurface. I wanted her to leave as much as she wanted to go. But if I let her leave she could get hurt and I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if that happened. There was a hostile tension between us, like sparks of electricity. I knew she wasn't going to admit that she was being unreasonable. Eventually she backed down. "Fine." She conceded huffily, she jutted her chin out and crossed her arms. My hand twitched and I scowled in annoyance. This was going to be a long night.

I lay on the black leather sofa. I squirmed trying to get comfy. I groaned and turned onto my back. Rachael had insisted on sleeping on the sofa but I'd insisted that she take the bed. After a short squabble I'd won but my back wasn't thanking me.

I stared up at the ceiling in the dark, unable to sleep. The house was silent but the wind still whipped outside. I could hear the soft steady breathing of Rachael. I tried to keep my mind a blank slate. The more I tried not to think about it the more I did. The night played over in my head again and again, like an annoying tape stuck on replay.

I thought about the way she'd turned up at my door, the way she'd broken down in tears, the way I'd held her close, the way she'd opened up to me. I remembered the softness of her skin, the silkiness of her hair, the warmth of her body. Her tender sapphire eyes and sweet smile were branded into my brain. I couldn't shake it. The memory of her in my clothes made me uncomfortably hot. I squirmed again, she was sleeping in them now.

I bit down on my tongue hard, stifling a groan that was bubbling up in my throat. I was royally screwed. I couldn't ignore what had happened tonight and I couldn't change it. I wanted to kick myself. Once again I'd completely forgotten myself and the barriers I'd so carefully put up. I'd hammered it into myself again and again. Don't get too close, don't let anyone in, don't show any part of yourself that wasn't part of the facade. I'd thrown all that out of the window.

Looking back, I don't think I could have done anything different. She'd been scared and upset, I was powerless against that. It scared me how naturally it had come for me to comfort and touch her. It had felt good and right. It was terrifying how perfectly her body had moulded against mine. She was vulnerable and I'd allowed myself to be vulnerable in return. Wearing her heart on her sleeve had opened mine up.

My heart beat wildly and frantically in my chest, thumping through my ears. Normally my head beat my heart right down but now I had no control over it.

I gritted my teeth. I was angry and frustrated with myself. I'd lost all self-control. I thought things I didn't want to think and I felt things I didn't want to feel. I was normally so composed but now I was a mess.

I thought about the last two seasons. I had abhorred the new farmer but I had slowly let her in. The unsaid word was sour in my mouth but she'd hung around, forced herself on me, until she became a friend. She didn't stay that way for long. The meals we'd eaten together, the time at The Animal Sanctuary and the hours she'd loitered around my store. Last week she'd freaking tackled and kissed me at that festival.

She didn't start as a friend, she barely was one before she changed into something else. Something more important. Not being by her made my heart ache, the mere sight of her made my emotions haywire, when she was around my brain couldn't function properly. I'd never felt like this. These emotions were foreign and overpowering.

When I felt the urge I had fun with a beautiful woman. I wasn't ignorant to the fact that women threw themselves at the troubled bad boy persona. Rachael was different. She'd snuck up, got under my skin and I couldn't shake her.

I came to the devastating realisation. I liked her a lot, too much. I craved her but I wouldn't let myself have her. I'd hurt her and that would kill me. I wasn't good for her and she wasn't good for me. My past haunted me, reminded me that I had to cut myself off.

I was sinking deep in quicksand and I had to drag myself back out. Any means necessary. Starting tomorrow I'd be nothing more than her animal dealer again...


	20. The fireworks festival

I sighed heavily in frustration and resisted the urge to hit the full length mirror inside the door of my wardrobe. I twisted left and right, I tried numerous angles but nothing worked. I let out a cry of exasperation and threw the little black dress I had been holding up to my frame to the floor. I stomped my foot in a fit of childish anger and crossed my arms, defeated. I stood like that for a moment, glaring daggers and scowling at my reflection. I placed my hands on my hips and pouted at myself. I narrowed my eyes. Too scrawny, too flat-chested & not curvy enough I thought to myself. With a sigh I pulled myself away from the mirror and with a lot of effort forced myself to look through my wardrobe for the hundredth time. My selection of outfits was scanty, it didn't take long. A modest collection of party dresses and skirts were scattered on the floor around my feet, I kicked at them. Everything I tried looked dreadful and I knew time was running out. I was angry that I hadn't been more prepared. However, the thought of shopping stressed me the hell out and everything had looked so good when I'd tried outfits on in my head.

I snatched my old battered Nokia brick phone from the bedside table and called 'Bestie' on speed dial.

After 5 rings. "Hello." A soft voice answered.

I humphed down the line. "Really Iroha?! You waited five rings?! I'm having an emergency!"

Iroha chuckled quietly. "Volume, my poor ear. Is this an I've run out of ice-cream emergency or I've spilled a whole bottle of wine on the sofa again emergency?"

I scowled. "That was one time!" I protested defensively. "And, no. It's a fashion emergency."

The line went quiet for a long time and I began to worry. "Iroha, you there?" I asked unsure.

"Yes." Iroha replied uncertainly. "But… What on Earth made you think that I could give you fashion advice?"

I sighed and started to pace around the room. "I don't know." I whined. "I'm desperate and my contacts list isn't exactly heaving with girlfriends."

There was a pause before Iroha said. "Ouch. True but hurtful."

I groaned and stopped pacing. I pulled at my hair with my free hand. "I'm sorry." I groaned pathetically. "The summer festival starts in less than an hour and no matter what I try on I look like rubbish. A bin bag would probably look better!"

I pretended to dramatically sob down the phone. Iroha sighed and tutted, I could picture her shaking her head. "Your crocodile tears don't work on me!" She said matter of factly. "Hush, I'll be there in ten minutes."

I immediately stopped and grinned like a Cheshire cat. "You're the best!" I declared, emphasising each syllable.

"I know." Iroha replied smugly. She curtly hung up. Pulling the mobile away from my ear I checked the time on the home screen. Forty-five minutes and counting. Goddess, I needed a miracle. I offered a silent prayer in her name and began to pace the room nervously again.

"It's open!" I called as I heard a quiet knock on the door.

"Yuri! Wait!" I heard Iroha declare frustratingly.

"What the…?! Who the hell…?!" I shouted indignantly as I was attacked by a blur of pink hair and glasses.

"Ouch!" I yelped as sharp fingers pinched my waist, tugged my hair and squeezed my shoulders.

"Turn…" A soft voice commanded. A soft but surprisingly strong hand grabbed my arm and forced me to turn back and forth.

"Promising…" I heard the soft voice whisper to itself. "Slim waist, good height but poor posture… But not impossible… No…"

I stiffened and jerked back violently. I turned around, both angry and kind of scared. A young woman stood in front of me, her posture rigid as she stayed perfectly still just blinking at me. She looked like she'd travelled straight from the 17th Century as she fashioned a frilly white blouse, suspended three-quarter brown slacks, a sleeveless buttoned vest and a red kerchief.

I blinked back at the strange intruder, my eyes wide and my mouth hanging open. "I repeat." I said in a dangerously quiet tone. "Who the hell are you?"

The pink haired spectacled weirdo stared at me blankly before muttering "Yuri."

I rolled my eyes, that helped.

I heard a sharp tut behind me. I turned around and gave Iroha an incredulous look. I raised my eyebrows in question.

Iroha gave me a pointed look. "Calm down." She instructed. "This is just Yuri, Emma's daughter."

I looked at Iroha blankly. Iroha sighed and shook her head slightly. "You're in the middle of building her tailor's shop." She reminded me exasperatedly.

"Oh." I said stupidly, I felt my face loosen in recognition.

I slowly turned back to Yuri. "Yuri, right." I said awkwardly, resisting the urge to facepalm myself. "Ugh, sorry about that. You just came on a little strong."

"Can I… Begin?" Yuri asked, slowly blinking at me.

I turned to Iroha and gave her a look that shouted explain! Iroha gave me an understanding look. "Yuri is here to help you with your fashion emergency." She explained.

"Can I...Begin?" Yuri asked again.

"Er, sure." I squeaked. I winced, scared of Yuri's 'help'.

I sat in a kitchen chair whilst Yuri tugged at my hair. I valued my life too much to interrupt her work to ask what she was doing, she breathed down my neck and muttered to herself. My skin tingled and I could feel goosebumps rise along my arms.

"So, Iroha." I said "How did your date with Rod go?" I desperately needed a distraction just as much as I wanted to know.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Iroha look at Yuri cautiously as she sat on the edge of my bed. "Good." She replied hesitantly.

"Details!" I demanded. "I can see a sparkle in your eyes."

Iroha flushed slightly. She hesitated again before gushing. "Okay, it went wonderfully! Rod put together a picnic, he cooked the food himself! We sat by the Goddesses pond for hours, it was beautiful. Rod's so easy to talk to…"

"Silence…" I heard Yuri mutter behind me. I shivered. Iroha trailed off, she bit her lip and looked down at the floor shyly.

"I'm so happy for you!" I beamed at her. Iroha flashed me a brilliant smile, she opened her mouth to say something.

"Silence…" Yuri muttered again. "Hey, ouch" I grumbled as Yuri pulled my ear hard.

"Working…" Yuri muttered.

I mouthed 'help' to Iroha who just giggled. I scowled and sat in silence through the rest of Yuri's torture.

I gasped and frowned at my reflection. The stranger I saw couldn't be me. I hesitatingly reached out and touched a finger to the glass, the stranger copied my actions. I smiled slightly at myself in wonder, it was me and Yuri had somehow made me beautiful. I touched the gold collar of the silken red cheongsam I was wearing, I looked down at the matching red heels. I reached up and touched my hair which was braided into a crown tightly around my head. I turned half towards Yuri. "You're incredible." I whispered in awe, lost for words."Thank you."

"Welcome…" Yuri replied. I waited but it seemed that was all I was going to get.

I checked my watch and squirmed on the spot. Just ten minutes left until the start of the festival.

"Got to go." I breathed hurriedly. I shot Yuri one last appreciative look and waved in the general direction of where Iroha stood.

"Wait." She called but I was already waddling towards the door. I cursed under my breath. Damb, this dress was tight and how could any woman walk in these devil's contraption called heels?! As soon as I cleared the door I made a quick decision to ditch the heels. I quickly glanced behind me, somehow feeling that Yuri was watching me even through the door. I shook the feeling off and waddled as fast as I could over to the festival grounds, my heels dangling from my fingers.

I gasped, the festival grounds looked almost unrecognisable. Fairy lights dangled from the surrounding trees, lanterns adorned the wooden stage, tartan blankets were strewn all across the field and potted summer flowers were scattered all across the ground. I could smell them on the light summer breeze. The villagers had been busy.

"Darling." I heard a voice drawl behind me and I felt my skin crawl. Damb it, Allen. I wondered if it was too late to run. I sighed and reluctantly turned around.

"Allen." I said, throwing him a fake smile. I tried not to make a face. He looked me up and down slowly, I shivered.

I put my hands on my hips and demanded "What are you looking at?" I glared at him. "My eyes are up here!"

Allen tutted and shook his head at me disapprovingly. "Why your dress, darling, your dress."

"Oh." I hadn't expected that response.

Allen lunged forward and rubbed the collar of my dress in between his fingers. "The silk...beautiful…" He muttered to himself.

I groaned and took a step back. Allen followed and took a step towards me. I raised my palms up towards him. "Allen." I warned. "Back off!"

Allen coughed and took a small step back, his eyes still racking over my dress. Okay, this was getting weird. "Apologies, princess." He whispered. "But your dress, I must know where you got it from. It's divine!"

"Yuri, Emma's daughter." I blurted.

Allen's eyes flashed in the semi darkness of the field's entrance. "Emma's daughter…" He repeated and a sly grin came to his face. "I must see her at once."

He turned on the spot and stalked away. I thought I heard him mutter "Lovely Emma."

I shivered, glad he was going to pester someone else. I cringed at the thought of Yuri and Allen in the same room together, that was a company I would not like to be in.

I slowly walked between the rows of blankets, the soft grass tickling the soles of my feet. I stopped and smiled when I spotted who I'd been hoping to see. I made my way over to where I could see a mop of messy blonde hair hiding in a far corner of the festival grounds, half concealed by a large fir tree. I stepped into the shadow cast by the tree. I wrapped my arms around myself, it was chilly.

"You've picked a poor spot." I reprimanded. "You won't see the fireworks very clearly."

Neil flinched, he pulled a pair of black earphones out of his ears. He scowled and looked up at me, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.

"Neil?" I asked confused. What had gotten into him?

Neil's face turned bright red as he looked at my legs, my dress, my face and then back down to my legs again. I squirmed, uncomfortable. Neil opened and closed his mouth like a fish before he blurted "What are you wearing?"

I flinched, not expecting his reaction nor knowing how to respond to it. I immediately felt defensive and on edge. I know I looked different from normal, a lot different but his reaction was unjustified. I glared at Neil, I crossed my arms and jutted out my chin. "A dress! You idiot." I snapped at him. "Do you have a problem with that?!"

My eyes began to sting and I fought the urge to run away. I'd wanted to make an effort to grab his attention but not like this. This moment had played out so differently in my head. I was so stupid, I should have known better.

"B… but Y...you're L... legs." Neil stammered.

I pouted and placed my hands on my hips. "Yes, Neil, my legs." I said exasperated. "Don't tell me this is your first time seeing a girl's legs."

I carried on, absolutely fuming. "Were you born at the start of the 20th Century or do you just like being a sexist jerk?" I spat vehemently.

"Shut up." Neil hissed urgently at me. I shrieked when he grabbed my wrist and yanked me down onto the blanket beside him. Before I had time to react he leaned over my lap and snatched at the top corner of the blanket, he pulled it over my legs and let go.

I smacked Neil roughly on the shoulder. I was so vexed I felt ready to burst. I could feel my skin flush as my blood pounded through my veins. Whatever attraction I had ever felt towards Neil disappeared. My instincts had been right about him from the start. "You'd better explain yourself." I cautioned, seeing red.

Neil grabbed the wrist of the hand I had hit him with, I tried to pull away but his grip was like a vice. Neil glared at me, his cheeks still stained red. "I don't want other guys to see you like that." He admitted.

I gawked at him, utterly shocked. I stared blankly, processing what he had said. A little giggle escaped my lips and then another. Soon I was rolling on the blanket, gasping for breath through ceaseless laughter. The whole thing was just so ridiculous. I could feel Neil glaring down at me scornfully.

"Laugh all you want." He scowled at me. "But guy's easily get ideas."

That made me laugh even harder. I looked up at him as I wiped tears away from my eyes. "Pfft." I said incredulously. "What guys? Allen? Rod?."

"You." I winked at him. Neil's face flushed scarlet and he jumped up from the blanket.

"Whatever." He muttered as he began to walk away. I untangled myself and stood up, I grabbed his wrist before he could get too far. Neil shook me off but I grabbed his arm.

"Wait." I pleaded. "Please. I'm sorry for teasing you."

Neil slowly turned back around. He scowled but then he caught sight of my legs and his face dropped. He pulled away and turned his head to the side, trying to hide the bright flush across his cheeks and nose. Suddenly, Neil grabbed my hand and started to drag me across the festival grounds.

"What're you doing?" I protested but I didn't try to break free.

"Away from here." Neil grunted.

I sighed but decided to go along. "The entrance is back the other way." I reminded him.

Neil looked back briefly and shot me a smirk. "We're leaving through the back way."

Before I could ask we reached the brown wooden fence that enclosed the festival grounds. I squealed as Neil grabbed me by the waist and lifted me over the small fence. He let me go before nimbly jumping over himself. I gasped and felt a warm blush spread over my cheeks, Neil had never been so forward. I'd complain but I wasn't against it. Neil grabbed my hand again and led me quickly through the small patch of trees. I realised that I'd dropped my heels somewhere and reminded myself to look for them later. My bare feet crunched on leaves and twigs as I was whisked away.

I looked up in awe as the sky burst with colours: Gold, silver, red, green and blue. Fireworks boomed & whizzed directly overhead. I lay in the grass with my head on Neil's lap. I'd pulled my hair free from the constricting pins, feeling more like myself. Neil ran his fingers through it absentmindedly, my hair fell in soft waves around me. I stared at the fireworks display enraptured. I gasped as the grand display came to it's big finale and then slowly ended, until the last bright firework sizzled to an end. I closed my eyes, still seeing the fireworks behind my closed lids. I was both satisfied and disappointed at the same time. I slowly opened my eyes again and looked up at Neil. He was looking down at me fondly, his eyes flickered away when his gaze met mine.

I slowly sat up and stretched myself out, I felt so stiff. I looked around, the Goddesses pond shimmered & rippled in the darkness. From the top of the forest hill I could see the whole town stretched out down below me, if I reached out I could've touched the fence. "That was so beautiful." I whispered. "What did you think?"

Neil didn't look at me but stared straight ahead. I saw the side of his mouth twitch up in a wistful smile. "I don't know." He murmured. "I missed most of it."

I frowned, thinking about what he meant. Before I could ask Neil stood up and turned to look down at me. "I'll walk you home." He sighed.

My frown deepened but I took hold of the hand he extended down to me and let myself be pulled up.

I leaned on the door frame, Neil's amethyst coat draped around my shoulders. I shivered, this close to Autumn the late Summer nights had turned chilly.

"Thank you." I said gratefully as I handed Neil back his coat. "Are you sure I can't persuade you to come in for a cup of coffee?"

Neil took back his coat and shook his head firmly. He ran his spare hand through his hair. "No." He sighed. "I should be getting back."

"Right." I said disappointed. "I'll see you soon then." I added more hopefully.

Neil looked down at me, his face as blank and hard as a slab of stone. "I'll see you when you need to buy something from my store." He replied firmly.

I frowned, struggling to understand. "I thought I was more than just a customer." I whispered quietly into the empty space between us.

"No, you're not." Neil said harshly. "I didn't mean to give you that impression." Neil's expression was perfectly composed, his features gave nothing away.

I scoffed, not falling for his poker face. I stared straight into those amethyst eyes. "I know you've been avoiding me since the storm." I admitted. "But you can't say that tonight didn't mean anything."

Neil lost his composure. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. "You're wrong." He said sternly. "Stop seeing things that aren't there or you'll get hurt."

I grabbed his chin. "You mean you will." I challenged him. I pulled Neil's head down, forcing him to look at me. "Don't lie to me." I begged. "I can see through you."

Neil stared deeply into my eyes and I saw his gaze flicker, his expression faltered and fell away. My heart leaped in my chest as I saw him waver. But it was over in a second, Neil jerked his chin out of my grasp. His face fell back into that stoney unreachable expression. "Get some sleep." He said dismissively. "You've become deluded."

I sighed, sad and disappointed. "Fine." I rasped through a tight throat. I give up.

Reaching up on tip-toe I placed a hand on his cheek, I gently kissed the corner of his mouth. "Goodnight Neil." I whispered as I slowly drew back.

Neil's face was drawn tight, his lips a rigid line. But his eyes burned as he looked down at me. Longingly, I wanted to think. I sighed and reluctantly turned away, I felt a hot tear run down my check. I didn't look back as I gently closed the door behind me. I staggered half a dozen steps and flopped down in a kitchen chair. I wiped the tears away stubbornly. I looked down at my pretty dress and grimaced. What a waste that had been. As I sat there I knew that Neil had been right. Loving him would hurt me. He'd warned me but I knew I wasn't strong enough to stay away. I refused to acknowledge that he didn't feel something for me, I could see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch. Let the chase begin...


	21. The fireworks festival - Neil's P.O.V

I leaned back on my hands, my legs stretched out before me and crossed at the ankles. I sighed slightly and asked myself for the hundredth time what I was doing here. A breeze ruffled my hair and I blew impatiently at the locks that fell in my eyes. The summer night was chilly, autumn was just around the corner. I wouldn't miss the scorching heat of the season, I could finally wear my heavy coat again without sweating. I looked up at the dark inky sky, dotted with stars. Soon the peace of the night would be shattered by the bright loud bangs of fireworks, the ohs and aws of the villagers and some visitors from local towns. Fireworks to me had always been too flashy, too noisy, too overrated. A distraction for simple-minded people who were enthralled by a shower of booming sparks. A distraction, that's exactly what I was looking for.

A face popped into my mind: Long blonde hair, large sapphire eyes, a delicate heart-shaped face & a dazzling too bright smile. I closed my eyes, willing the mental image, that had plagued my thoughts for days, to go away. It didn't and I groaned, sighing I opened my eyes and flopped my head back. My hands balled into fists, scrunching up the thick tartan blanket I was spread out on. I looked at the springy branches of the towering fir tree, it cast a large shadow from the light off the lanterns and fairy lights. I scrunched my face up in distaste. Sparkling lights & pretty potted flowers, ugh.

I'd picked the best spot, away from the crowd and main lights. I felt comforted by the semi-darkness, it would be hard to find me and I hoped that I'd be left alone. I listened to no music but I wore earphones, a sign that said don't come up and speak to me. Uncomfortable, feeling out of place, I closed my eyes again. The face was back but this time the sapphire eyes were half closed in slits of accusation and the full mouth was pursued unhappily. I couldn't escape that look at home, the small house seemed too stuffy and cramped. I shook my head in exasperated disbelief. Here I was trying to escape in the events of a festival I'd normally try to avoid. For the first time my home, my space, my guitar, my music couldn't provide an outlet. The farmer I'd been trying to avoid as much as possible mocked me even when she wasn't there. My feelings were not getting easier, weaker, less confusing with time or distance. A space was missing where she'd been, a space I couldn't forget or fill. My once perfect techniques of self-control had become void, my emotions wouldn't be numbed or buried for long.

I snapped my eyes open and turned towards the sounds of crunching twigs and fir needles. I took in a pair of bare feet and slim calves, up to a pair of knees and toned thighs, higher to a red silken dress and finally to a pair of wide midnight blue eyes. My eyes shot up into my hairline and I felt my jaw drop open. Rachael had her arms crossed tight against the chill of the night, a small smile played on the edges of her ruby painted lips and she stood uncomfortably with her weight shifted onto one leg. I drank her in quickly before my eyes dropped back down to her legs. My face felt like it was on fire and my features were frozen in that gaping expression.

"You've picked a poor spot." She reprimanded. "You won't see the fireworks very clearly."

I struggled to string together a coherent thought. My mouth opened and closed but no sound came out. I could see nothing but a pair of shapely long legs, legs that squirmed under my scrutiny. "Neil?" I heard a confused voice ask.

"What are you wearing?" I blurted, my brain cells finally kicking into action. With an effort I tore my gaze away from Rachael's legs and looked her reproachfully in the eyes.

Rachael crossed her arms tighter against her chest and jutted out her chin stubbornly, she tried to hide it but I saw her lips tremble slightly and her eyes shined with moisture. "A dress! You idiot." She snapped defensively. "Do you have a problem with that?!"

"B… but Y...you're L... legs." I stammered. The cool night air did nothing to help my blazing cheeks. I was too embarrassed to maintain eye contact, I tried to look anywhere else but my gaze kept on flickering back down to Rachael's legs. Damb, they were pretty but that was the problem!

Yes, Neil, my legs." Rachael said exasperated. "Don't tell me this is your first time seeing a girl's legs."

Surprised I looked at Rachael again, my eyes widened at the scorn in hers. Her hands were firmly on her hips and her lips were pursed in a tight pout. Alarm bells were ringing in my head, that male internal alert system that warned of a fuming woman. A fuming woman who I needed to be careful not to set off. Too late…

"Were you born at the start of the 20th Century or do you just like being a sexist jerk?" Rachael spat vehemently. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes blazed dangerously.

I was starting to get worked up, anger licked at the edges of my insides and it would burn brighter if I didn't hold it back. Why did she have to come over here and smash my peace & quiet. If I was struggling to cope with avoiding her before I wouldn't now, my life was a hell of a lot easier when she wasn't around. She struts over here, like a peacock in a fancy dress, with legs up to here and then goes ballistic.

"Shut up." I hissed at her. I quickly reached my hand up and grabbed Rachael's wrist, I yanked her not too gently down onto the blanket beside me. Before she had time to move I leaned over and snatched at the edge of the blanket, I pulled it over her legs and let go. Better, I thought.

I leaned back & Rachael smacked me roughly on the shoulder, I grunted and scowled at her. I was trying desperately to quench the fire inside that she was fuelling. I was getting angrier and less reasonable. What was with this crazy chick?! I glared at her but then I saw her expression. Rachael looked like a bull and I was the red flag, that internal alarm system was ringing louder. "You'd better explain yourself." Rachael cautioned carefully.

Run, the internal system shouted. I ignored it and glared at Rachael again. I scowled and felt my cheeks burn brighter, was that even possible. I grabbed the wrist she'd hit me with, she pulled away but I held on tight. Deflated all of a sudden I grumbled and let my gaze flicker away. "I don't want other guys to see you like that." I admitted quietly.

I let go of her and resisted the urge to scratch the back of my neck, a nervous habit. Embarrassment anewed I looked at Rachael from the corner of my eye. I furrowed my brow, she was gawking at me in shock. She stared at me blankly, unblinking, and I squirmed slightly. Could she really not see it? What did she think? That I was just a sexist a-whole.

A little sound escaped Rachael's lips and then another. I frowned at her and then I realised that she was giggling. Rachael closed her eyes and collapsed back onto the blanket in fits of laughter, she rolled about and tried to get her breath. I glared down at her scornfully, five minutes ago she looked ready to rip my head off and now she's laughing like a toddler. I blew a breath out, city turned farm girl was as naive as she looked. My face scrunched in detest, it seemed like I'd have to spell it out. "Laugh all you want." I scowled down at her. "But guy's easily get ideas."

My warning didn't have the attended effect but the opposite. Rachael clutched at her stomach and laughed even louder. I looked around nervously. People were looking over, they squinted but turned away when they couldn't see further than the shadow of the fir tree. I scowled and failed to understand the joke. For reasons unfathomable to me I hated the idea of other men seeing her all dressed up like that, seeing her attractive legs and going after her. And, not with the best of intentions. Farm girl would be too dumb to see through them. It was nothing personal, I tried to convince myself, just a protection instinct.

Rachael finally looked up at me and wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. "Pfft." she said incredulously. "What guys? Allen? Rod?."

"You." she winked at me. My face flushed and I jumped up from the blanket. Fine, I was done. If she wanted to learn the hard way so be it. Maybe she'd listen to experience.

"Whatever." I muttered as I began to stalk away. What was she insinuating, that I was that kind of guy? Please, I'd have to find her appealing first. I pushed down the little voice inside that whispered don't you. I growled, she was messing with me and I was falling for it.

I hadn't gotten far when I felt a hand grab my wrist. I shook it off harshly but it just grabbed my arm tighter. "Wait." A soft voice pleaded. "Please. I'm sorry for teasing you."

I slowly turned back around. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, Rachael looked sincere and apologetic. All traces of humour gone but I wouldn't let my guard down. I scowled then felt my face drop when I caught sight of Rachael's legs, her tightly fitted dress had bunched up higher around her thighs. The light fabric brushing the top of her legs, leaving too much exposed for my taste. I suddenly felt jealous and possessive, I tried to ignore the desire I could feel starting to build up in my stomach. I pulled away and turned my head to the side, not so subtly trying to hide the blush I could feel creep across my cheeks and nose. There was no way in hell I was letting other guys see her like that, I'd carry her out of her kicking and screaming if I had to. Without looking up I snatched Rachael's hand in my own and started to quickly pull her across the festival grounds.

"What're you doing?" Rachael protested behind me. I heard her stumble slightly but she didn't try to break free.

"Away from here." I grunted.

Rachael sighed but allowed herself to be pulled along. "The entrance is back the other way." She said matter of factly.

I looked briefly back at Rachael and shot her a smirk. "We're leaving through the back way."

I stopped when we reached the wooden fence that encircled the festival grounds. Before I could think too much about it I reached out and grabbed Rachael gently but firmly by the waist, her dress was pretty but not practical. Rachael gasped and looked at me wide-eyed. Before she could struggle I quickly picked her up and lifted her over the small fence, letting her go when her feet were clear on the other side. Her waist was slender and delicate, the desire inside was bubbling. I nimbly jumped over the fence and caught a glimpse of a blush blooming over Rachael's cheeks. I grabbed Rachael's hand again and quickly led her through the small patch of trees. I could hear her bare feet crunching on leaves & twigs over the sound of my own heavier feet. I shook my head slightly, no coat and no shoes. I felt a shot of annoyance, she was neglecting her promise to take better care of herself. I stopped myself from admonishing her as I weaved through the trees. After all, I wasn't supposed to care…

I could hear the sound of fireworks as they boomed and whizzed through the night sky. Rachael's face reflected their light: Gold, silver, red, green and blue. The light danced across her features and I was enraptured, I couldn't take my eyes away to look up and try to admire the fireworks display. She'd pulled her golden locks loose from the tight elaborate braid that had encircled her head. Her hair pooled across my lap as her head rested there, I pulled my fingers absentmindedly through it. My eyes scrunched slightly in affection and I smiled to myself, her soft silken hair bounced back into waves.

Rachael's eyes lit up as she watched the display, her mouth hung slightly open. Her eyes were wide in delight, she'd gasp and stretch out her hand to the sky. At this moment I felt relaxed, content, I didn't want it to end. I was normally wound up so tightly, cautious and distrustful in the company of others. But without really knowing I'd let myself go and I was happy, watching her made me happy. Her lipstick was smudged, her mascara streaked, but she looked perfect.

Managing to tear myself away I looked up to catch the end of the display, the big finale that slowly came to an end until the last bright firework sizzled to nothing. The sky once more becoming quiet and empty, the fireworks just a memory amongst the scattering of distant stars. I looked back down at Rachael, her eyes were closed and a small smile was on her face. She slowly opened her eyes and looked directly into mine. Embarrassed, I looked away. Rachael slowly sat up and stretched out like a cat, I smiled slightly. The Goddesses pond shimmered and rippled in the darkness, the lights of the village and festival stretched out below. "That was so beautiful." I heard Rachael whisper. "What did you think?"

I continued to look over the fence, out at the view that the vantage point at the top of the forest hill provided. I didn't look at Rachael, I stared straight ahead and smiled wistfully. "I don't know." I murmured. "I missed most of it."

That was it, the moment was over, the fairytale shattered. Reality was back and I needed to let it in, unwanted or not. I could feel Rachael frowning at me but I ignored her. Before she could ask I stood up and extended down my hand. "I'll walk you home." I sighed.

Rachael's frown deepened, she looked at my hand briefly before taking it in her own. I clasped my hand around hers and pulled her to her feet. I didn't let go as we started to make our way back down the hill.

Rachael leaned casually on the doorframe, my coat draped around her shoulders. She shivered slightly and I resisted the urge to wrap the coat more tightly around her.

"Thank you." Rachael said gratefully as she handed me back my coat. "Are you sure I can't persuade you to come in for a cup of coffee?" she offered.

Rachael looked up at me hopefully, her eyes uncertain. She was trying to look nonchalant but couldn't quite manage it. I wanted to grin but I shook my head firmly. I took back my coat gingerly and placed it across my arm, I ran my spare hand through my hair. How I wished I could say yes. No." I sighed. "I should be getting back."

Rachael's face dropped, crestfallen. A felt a pang in my chest at her disappointment. "Right." She said disheartened. "I'll see you soon then." She added more hopefully. Her mouth twitched up wistfully and I saw the yearning of a wanted promise in her eyes. I couldn't promise her that, that I'd see her again soon and share another magical evening with her. Tonight she'd brought out a side of me that hadn't come out in a very long time, now I'd lock it away again. The night had an expiry date and so did the good guy I'd been for an evening, the guy that could let his guard down and be with the girl he liked in the way she deserved. That guy wasn't really me. I'd hurt her, disappoint her so much more than by just refusing to come in for a coffee. I knew I had to put on an act, be cruel to be kinder in the long run. I let my face become blank and hard, unreadable as I looked down at her. "I'll see you when you need to buy something from my store." I replied firmly.

Rachael frowned, struggling to understand my sudden change in tone and mood. "I thought I was more than just a customer." She whispered quietly into the empty space between us.

My stomach twisted, this was so hard. A part of me wanted to take my words back but where would that leave us. I wouldn't string her along or give her false hope. I couldn't say the words, reach out and take the next step. It was best to stop now before either of us really started down that path. I carried on with the charade. "No, you're not." I said harshly. "I didn't mean to give you that impression." My expression was perfectly composed, my features giving nothing away.

Rachael scoffed and stared straight into my eyes. "I know you've been avoiding me since the storm." She admitted. "But you can't say that tonight didn't mean anything."

My face fell, I lost my composure. I hadn't expected that reaction, I should've known she wasn't going to make this easier. I sighed and nervously ran my hand through my hair. Of course she knew I'd been avoiding her, I'd tried to be casual about it but it was obvious. I couldn't help but to be so inconsistent in my interactions with her. My behaviour was sporadic, my signals so mixed and controversial. But then as soon as I saw her my emotions went haywire, when she laughed or spoke my thoughts became incoherent. I'd already messed up so much and nothing had even happened between us yet. I pulled my poker face back together and felt my eyes steel over.

"You're wrong." I said sternly. "Stop seeing things that aren't there or you'll get hurt."

Rachael reached out and grabbed my chin firmly. You mean you will." She said challengingly. She pulled my head down, forcing me to look at her. Her midnight eyes burned fiercely and defiantly, daring me to contradict her. "Don't lie to me." She begged. "I can see through you."

My features slackened, the carefully composed blank slate dropped. I stared deeply into her midnight eyes, they shined like sapphires and were as deep as the night sky. Her eyes swirled with emotion as they scanned my face, my own eyes were reflected in hers as she tried to read them. What she saw, I couldn't tell. I felt myself waver. She was too perceptive and that terrified me. Why wasn't she scared off like most when I was so cold and aloof? She was wrong, she couldn't see through me. Not completely. Not all my walls were that transparent. She couldn't see how strongly I felt for her, I couldn't deny it after tonight. But romancing that idea would only hurt us both. I wasn't cut out to be boyfriend material and the idea of dating, being that close to someone. I shied away from the idea, internally shuddered. Farm girl was right. I was afraid of being hurt, being in such an open position. I couldn't bring myself to give another person power over me like that, not again. Life was a harsh teacher but a good one. I was cracked and I'd cut her with the jagged pieces, make her bleed. I jerked my chin out of Rachael's grasp. My expression became hard and expressionless. "Get some sleep." I said dismissively. "You've become deluded."

The light in Rachael's eyes dimmed, went hollow. Sadness swam through the sapphire swirls. The small hope squashed, her face fell dejectedly. Her lips trembled and pain twisted her features. I felt so small, I wanted to kick myself. I kept on repeating to myself that this was for the best. "Fine." Rachael rasped, her throat contracting.

Rachael reached up on tip-toe and cupped my cheek, I leaned in to her touch slightly. Leaning over she gently placed a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. "Goodnight Neil." she whispered as she slowly drew back.

I drew my face tight, set my mouth in a rigid line. I could feel the warmth her touch had left. It had felt nice and for a few seconds I contemplated changing my mind. I felt confused and muddled, like jumbled wires. I tried to unknot them but the more I tried the more knotted they became. The more I was around her the worse they twisted. My eyes burned into hers, momentarily reflecting the longing I felt. Rachael broke our contact, she sighed and turned away. She didn't look back as she closed the front door.

I placed my forehead on the door and groaned, I couldn't tell if I was relieved or regretful. I'd lock the jumble of wires in a cupboard and forget about them. I was tired of not being able to sort them out, of not being able to find the right one, it was too much effort to try. I closed my eyes, letting myself go numb. I sighed and let the numbness spread, it was like ice to a burn as it soothed the turmoil inside. I'd made my decision and I wouldn't change my mind. I stood up straight and shook my head. I turned away and began to trudge home, thinking if I would be strong enough to stay away.


	22. The best news

Time, it slipped by so quickly. Like sand running through fingers, you couldn't hold it back or slow it down. Once again the kitchen table was buried under paper, lines blurred together until I couldn't make out my own handwriting or the numbers on the calculator. It was late, too late. Burying myself in work kept me busy, kept me from thinking too much. Farming expression, you reap what you sow, right. Literally in my case. Autumn was the most bountiful time of the year, my pockets were deeper these days than what I was used to. My brand was now silver and I'd had to get a second shipping bin, another storage shed. I was slowly being recognised. A second barn, a second coop, more livestock. More animals to love, more seedlings to watch grow. One restaurant and one clinic later I was ready to wrap the third restoration plan up in a pretty bow and chuck it back at Dunhill. I was itching to finish the inn, everyone was so eager to have Hossan and little Niko back. Then there'd be a fourth and a fifth. I'd lost the burning desire to rebuild this town. The spark didn't seem so bright, meaning had started to fade. What had happened to my new beginning?

I blinked, snapping myself out of my daydream. I looked down at the pencil in my hand, at the blank piece of paper. 'Dear Neil', 'To Neil', 'Neil', 'Please Neil'. I scratched each one out and scrunched the piece of paper up into a ball, with a frustrated sigh I chucked it across the room. I thought of a promise made in the Summer, a promise broken in the brisk of Autumn. What was the point in slowing down when the pushy animal dealer was no longer in the way?

I looked out the window, the night was dark and uninviting. Gold, red and orange leaves stuck to the window pane. I flinched when I felt my phone vibrate in my dungaree pocket, I pulled it out and looked down at the caller ID. I frowned, instantly worried, and hit the accept button. "Pops?" I uncertainly asked.

"Hey, Kiddo!" A familiar gruff voice answered.

I shot a quick glance at the wall clock, 22:00, a little late for a social call. "Is something wrong?" I asked immediately. "Is Mom okay?"

"Whoa, slow down there Slugger. The old lady's fine." The deep voice I'd missed so much was not reassuring me.

I heard a thump and an oomph in the background, I held the phone away from my ear. "I'm okay Sweetheart, ignore your father." A sweet voice instructed. I smiled and rolled my eyes, that was Mama.

A rumbling laugh. "Your Ma's always had a good throwing arm."

I smiled wistfully. It would be so easy to fall into our familiar routine but I could still feel that something was not quite right. I sighed and forced myself to remain serious. "Pops, why're you calling so late? Bad news? And don't just say you missed the sound of my voice."

Laughter turned into grumbling. "Too much like your Ma, able to see through your old man."

I tutted down the line. "Dad, come on." I said sternly. "Stop horsing around."

A heavy sigh. "Alright, Kiddo. No, the best news. Henry's going to be coming down, give you a hand on the farm."

"H-Henry." I stuttered.

"Henry, Slugger! Aren't you excited? He needs a placement for his fancy university agriculture class."

I barely registered the words, my head was spinning. "Sure." I lied weakly. "When?"

"Ha, I knew you would be! Tomorrow afternoon. I knew you wouldn't mind, you kids get on like a house on fire."

"R-right." I forced myself to say as convincingly as I could. "The best news."

A pause. "Pops."

"Yeah, Slugger."

A fake smile in my voice. "G'night. Farmers have an early start, remember?"

A loud guffaw. "That I do! Sweet dreams Kiddo."

I abruptly ended the call and felt the phone slip out of my hand, it hit the wooden floor with a thud. My chest constricted and my stomach tightened. I closed my eyes, fighting the nauseousness. My lips trembled and my face collapsed into my hands. I shook my head and groaned. Panic rushed through me and my breathing hitched. "Henry." I whispered to myself.


	23. Henry

Chapter 23: Henry

I shielded my eyes as I squinted at the surely but slowly setting sun. The horizon glowed with the colours of dusk, almost twilight. I stretched my limbs out towards the sky and heard my back crack. As the old saying went: Another day, another dollar. "Hero!" I whistled sharply to the young boisterous husky pup. "Time to get the herd in."

Hero's ears perked up and he barrelled towards me. He jumped up, knocking me a step back. "Down, you naughty pup!" I demanded.

Hero whined but obeyed. "Good boy." I cooed as I scratched him between the ears. Hero wagged his tail and leaned his shaggy head into my hand. I rang a silver hand bell, wincing as the sharp sound of the bell chimed loudly. Hero barked and raced off towards the barn. I turned away from the disgruntled sounds of agitated livestock. I didn't miss the days of pushing around cows and sheep or chasing chickens.

I started walking toward the farmhouse, looking forward to a hot shower and a warm meal. I froze when I heard a familiar voice, that I hadn't heard in months, shout out "Rachael?!"

It felt like ice had spread through my veins, I couldn't move or respond. My heart thumped loudly and my head was screaming like a boiled kettle. I heard bounding heavy footsteps and a carefree laugh. Suddenly, strong arms picked me up in a bear hug and twirled me around. Squeezed painfully tight I wasn't left much room to breath. "Henry?" I gasped.

"It's so good to see you." A husky voice whispered in my ear. I shivered at the warm breath against that sensitive area of skin.

"Can't. Breath." I panted through Henry's constrictive grip.

"Right, sorry." Henry apologised quickly, he gave a shaky laugh as he set me back on my feet. He kept his wide hands on my hips whilst I found my balance. My breath caught and my heart picked up double time. I hastily took a step back, putting a little distance between us. My skin prickled with warmth where his hands had just been. I swayed a little but caught myself, lightheaded.

"Whoa, steady there. Are you alright?" Henry asked. He reached his hands out to steady me but I flinched back. "I'm fine!" I shouted defensively.

I wrapped my arms protectively around myself, I glowered down at the floor as I tried unsuccessfully to get a grip. "Rach, what's wrong?" Henry implored.

I squeezed my eyes shut and my front teeth clamped down painfully on my bottom lip. I knew he was coming but I never could have been prepared. I hoped vainly that if I ignored him long enough he'd go away. I felt Henry's hand touch my shoulder and I jerked back. It was Henry's turn to flinch. I couldn't look him in the eye. "Not the happy reunion I was expecting." Henry confessed sadly.

That really rubbed me up the wrong way. Henry always was cocky but that was one of the things I'd liked about him. Though perhaps in this circumstance clueless was a better word. Angry I mustered up the courage to glare at him. I was about to get on my high-horse when I saw his lob-sided grin and I melted. Henry ran a shaky hand through his curly brown locks but winked when he caught me looking. Despite myself I laughed, blushing like the idiot I was. "There's my girl." I heard Henry remark fondly.

I looked up slowly into the swirly depths of Henry's warm chocolate brown eyes, they were creased at the corners in a smile. Butterflies exploded in my stomach and my heart clenched. Old feelings rushed to the surface and I almost drowned in them, I was left feeling disoriented and dizzy. One look, one smile and I was undone. Pathetic but I couldn't stay mad at him, keep my guard up. A couple sweet words and Henry could worm right back in. I pouted playfully and poked him in the chest. "I'm not your girl." I argued stubbornly.

Henry's eyes sparkled and the lob-sided grin returned. He caught my hand and pulled me towards him. I didn't put up much resistance. Henry placed his arms around my waist and squeezed gently. Reaching up on tip-toe I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed back. I placed my cheek against Henry's chest and he rested his chin on top of my head. He sighed softly into my hair. "It really is good to see you Rach." He whispered.

I buried my face deeper into Henry's chest and grinned. "You too." I whispered back.

I placed a mug of steaming hot milk in front of Henry. He wrapped his hands around the silicone cup sleeve and muttered "Thanks."

I smiled in reply as I sat down to join him at the kitchen table, a piping mug in my own hand. I scrutinised Henry as he curiously looked around, I shifted nervously in my seat. I looked at him over the brim of my mug, taking a cautious sip. I winced, that was hot. I shrugged. "It's not much but it's home." I said endearingly.

Henry looked once more around the room before his gaze settled on me. His lips twisted up into a smile and he leaned forward. "I like it." He said sincerely. "It trumps sharing a tiny flat with three other guys."

I laughed and leaned forward as well. This close I could feel the electricity humming between us. I stiffened and leaned back abruptly. "Business before pleasantries." I demanded sternly, my features serious.

Henry let out a low chuckle and settled back in his chair, it creaked under his weight. He gave a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am." He joked.

I tutted as I fought to keep the smile off my lips. "You start every morning at six AM sharp." I ticked an invisible list off my fingers as I went along. "You can help out turning the soil, sowing the seeds, watering the crops, tending to livestock..." I trailed off. Henry was looking at me with that sparkle in his eyes again. "What?" I asked self-consciously, squirming slightly.

Henry shot me a cheeky grin, he reached across the table and pulled at the end of my ponytail affectionately. "Nothing." He replied quietly. "You just haven't changed."

I blushed and swatted his hand away, I ran my hand through the length of my ponytail. I gave Henry a mock reproachful look. "Hey." I complained. "I'm your boss for the next week. Don't forget it."

Another cheeky grin. Henry rolled his eyes dramatically. "How could I?" He muttered.

I tried to hide the smile at the corner of my lips as I pouted and raised an eyebrow. "What was that?" I asked.

Henry held his palms up towards me and shook his head. "Nothing, nothing." He conceded. "I'm looking forward to learning from the master."

I scrunched my nose up and bobbed my tongue out at him. "Better." I commented.

Henry leaned towards me eagerly and gripped my wrist, his face lit up in excitement. He looked me earnestly in the eyes and gushed. "Rach, honestly, the farm's incredible. I can understand why your old man sounded so proud."

My blush deepened, suddenly shy I looked away. What was this boy doing to me? I gently slid my hand out from underneath Henry's and twisted the end of my ponytail around my index finger. "Th... Thanks." I stuttered self-consciously. "But I had to work my butt off. It's different than sitting in a classroom or studying books."

Henry groaned and I looked up at him from underneath my eyelashes. He caught my eye, flashing me a grin and a wink. "Flattery never did quite work on you."

I blew out my cheeks and scowled. "Cute." Henry laughed. Pouting sulkily l looked at Henry, he was looking at me innocently over the rim of his mug. He grinned playfully and I huffed. Henry laughed. "Don't worry, Rach." He reassured me. "I'm not all play, I know what I'm letting myself in for. I plan on graduating with first-class honours."

Narrowing my eyes I studied Henry closely. "Good." I said, satisfied when I concluded he was being serious. I let my face relax. "How is university?" I asked him conversationally, taking a sip from my mug.

Henry sighed and ran a hand through his curls. "Curriculum's tough, living expenses too high, debt's piling higher with student loans." He complained but then he smiled. "But I've met some of the best people I've ever known, I'm living the dream. With this degree I could really help to reinvent modern agricultural methods, to produce a better harvest and to become more sustainable."

Riveted, I watched Henry explain passionately. My eyes scrunched slightly in affection and I smiled fondly. Henry stopped mid-sentence and looked at me wistfully. "It's been too long since you looked at me like that." He expressed sadly. "I have everything I want in the city but you."

His words pulled at my heartstrings, my throat tightened and I clenched my hands into fists to stop them from shaking. I sighed dejectedly and stared at the grains of wood in the table's surface. "You're the one who left." I murmured.

My eyes swam with moisture and I blinked them away stubbornly. All it took was just one conversation to fall back into the old routine, Henry felt so familiar. I looked at him and I was reminded of home and happy memories, a time when I was more free and didn't have so many responsibilities. I suddenly felt angry and bitter at Henry for dragging up the past, my gut twisted and I looked at Henry scornfully. "You broke my heart, Henry, and now here you come again."

All of the humour and lightheartedness had vanished from the room, the atmosphere charged with tension. Henry's face twisted and he knotted a hand in his hair. He blew out an exasperated sigh and shook his head. "Rach, that's not fair." He preached defensively. "I asked you to come with me."

I was being a little unfair but nothing was fair in love and war, right. I had old wounds that I wanted to scratch, words that I'd never said. I stood up from the chair and it screeched back, I placed my hands flat on the table and leaned forward. I didn't want to play coy, I wanted to break the dam holding the feelings I'd kept buried for too long. "I never wanted to go to University Henry!" I said indignantly. "That was your choice, not mine. Your standards, not mine. I… I didn't know what I wanted."

I let out a shaky sigh and slowly sat back down. Henry looked at me wide-eyed, taken aback. I looked at Henry forlornly. "Long distance wasn't good enough for you." I said in a small voice.

Henry slammed his hand on the table and I flinched, surprised. Henry's eyes constricted and his nose flared. I jutted my chin out and gave him a death stare, I wasn't going to back down. "I loved you like crazy." He declared. "Not being together was wounding but I hated to see you waiting for me. I had to let you go, set you free."

My lips puckered and my brow furrowed, I hadn't been expecting that. I closed my eyes and thought back to painful memories, I winced but forced myself to think about them. The only time we saw each other was when Henry came back home during the school holidays. Dating through high school and college, I'd never really known anything else. I struggled to think of a time we'd been apart, when my folks had moved to the city they'd moved in next to Henry's. Talking over the phone wasn't the same, an empty hole was left that grew bigger the longer he was away. I always thought it was because I was holding him back but maybe it was because he didn't want to hold me back. I never would have moved out to take over the family farm otherwise.

I sighed and opened my eyes. I suddenly felt tired and defeated. Shouting at Henry wouldn't help, the past was the past. He'd gone his way in life and I'd gone mine, different paths that didn't cross. Honestly, looking at him now I didn't feel the same about him as I once did. The dam had broken and everything had flowed out, leaving me feeling strangely empty. I smiled and looked at Henry nostalgically. Henry was a faded dream who'd once promised forever, a dream that couldn't survive in the realm of reality. I could see that now.

I reached over and took Henry's hand, I gave it a gentle squeeze. I looked at him fondly and confessed. "It was so much easier to hate you than to accept that you loved me enough to let me go."

Henry gripped my hand tightly back and searched my face. "Rach... " He began but I held up a hand to stop him.

I laughed once harshly and shook my head. "I don't think we need to say anything else." I admitted quietly. "I loved you too, a part of me always will, but I think I'm ready to let you go now too."

I let go of Henry's hand and stood up. I collected the pair of empty mugs and placed them in the sink. I turned around, leaning on the counter and folding my arms. Henry was looking down at his hands, his curls falling in his face, I couldn't make out his expression. I slowly walked over and sat down on the table top next to him, I ran my hand gently through his soft curls. "Hey." I said gently. "But that doesn't mean you can get rid of me that easily. You'll always be special to me, a friend."

I cupped Henry's cheek and tilted his head up so that he was forced to look at me. Henry smiled at me sweetly and tilted his face into my hand. He placed his hand on top of mine. "It sucks but it's the same for me too."

Henry shot me a lopsided grin and flashed a presumptuous wink. "I'll never find another girl quite like you." He said brazenly.

I laughed, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. I let my hand fall away and stood up from the table. I twirled on the spot and Henry laughed. "I'm the one and only." I declared confidently.

Henry whistled. "Don't I know it."

I bobbed my tongue out at him, not impressed. I placed a hand on his arm and squeezed. "Henry, I'm glad you're here." I said sincerely. I flashed him a wicked grin and my tone turned playful. I squeezed his bicep tighter. "I need a strong farmhand to help me out around here."

Realising I was flirting I dropped my arm and took a step back, I leaned against the counter again. Old habits die hard I guess. This was going to be a long week. The retort on Henry's lips fell short as someone knocked on the door. I shrugged, happy for the interruption, and went to answer it. I opened the door, leaving a wide gap. "Neil?" I said surprised.

I sighed, irritated. As had become routine Neil didn't look at me, didn't exchange pleasantries. Just business now, straight to the point. Neil shoved a clipboard under my nose and I signed my signature at the bottom, with a flourish, after quickly scanning the document. I nodded to myself, satisfied. I handed him the clipboard back, noting the horse and cart to the side of the house. Neil took the clipboard back and muttered "Thanks."

"Don't quibble, just buy. I remember." I emphasised sarcastically. Neil's cheek twitched but he didn't bite. I smiled smugly but Neil's expression remained flat and stoney. Fed up, I sighed. Neil was good at not being caught out. Neil nodded. "Deliveries in the barn." He explained curtly. "Usual place."

I leaned against the door frame and folded my arms. I tilted my head and caught Neil's eye. He looked back at me unflinchingly, his gaze was cold and detached. His amethyst eyes were as hard as the crystal. "Thank you." I said flatly.

I didn't have the energy to try to coax Neil into speaking to me today. Not that it ever worked. The only reaction I ever got was when I pushed his buttons, sometimes if I irritated him enough he'd slip. It gave me a smug satisfaction at the time, later I'd regret it when I'd think that it hadn't made anything better. Not that it could get much worse. Neil was hell bent on ignoring me outside of business, just the animal dealer. Neil was back to the guy I knew in early spring, it was like we'd made no progress at all. Today, I was happy to be ignored.

Neil grunted in reply. "If you need anything else, you know where I am."

Neil looked up and caught a glimpse into the house, through the gap left between me and the open door. Neil's eyes narrowed suspiciously and his frame stiffened. "Who.." He began to ask. Neil scowled and turned away.

I smiled slightly to myself, amused. "That's the new help." I explained. "Autumn's a busy season."

Neil's eyes flitted to meet mine, he scowled again. "I didn't ask." He growled.

My smile grew wider into a grin. "But you wanted to." I smirked at him.

Neil's eyes flashed, an angry little V puckered between his eyebrows. "None of my business." He forced through clenched teeth.

"Careful or you'll get wrinkles." I teased him. "No one can keep a secret in this town." I added. The news of Henry would spread like wildfire through Echo Village.

"You're all mouth." Neil grinned cockily at me, the corners of his lips turning up.

I raised an eyebrow incredulously. "And you're no trousers." I threw back.

Neil snorted and I smiled smugly, got you I thought. I felt a little thrill inside, this was the longest interaction we'd had in weeks. I thought I could see a hint of something in Neil's eyes, amusement maybe. But then Neil saw that I looked like the cat who'd got the cream. His face dropped and he scowled. I raised my eyes at him challengingly and didn't drop my grin. Neil threw daggers at me. "Whatever." He snarled before stalking over to his black horse.

I bit back a laugh and resisted calling after him. Maybe there was hope with him yet. I watched Neil go and then shut the door. Henry looked at me curiously. "Who was that?" He asked.

"An enigma." I said knowingly.

Things were about to get fun...


	24. Green Heart Event

I stood at the peak of the mountain, I slightly leaned over the sturdy wooden fencing and placed my hands on either side. The view of the valley was breathtaking, I smiled as I spotted the buildings I’d helped to construct. Echo Village had developed rapidly, it looked animated and dynamic. The village blossomed with colour, with nature. A stark contrast to the village I once knew. Life had been breathed back into the place and it was slowly coming awake. I gripped the fence tighter, almost there I thought to myself. 

The breeze picked up, biting at my exposed skin and whipping my hair in all directions. Fiery autumn leaves danced through the sky and the wind whistled eerily. I looked down and saw the Earth far below, feeling the swirling sensations of vertigo. I gasped and turned back, quickly retreating from the fear of falling. The tall pine trees rattled and the clear water of the pond rippled. I looked up at the sky, dark clouds were slowly approaching. I headed down the mountain, eager to ore at the mine before the weather turned. 

I kept my eyes on the ground, not trusting my footing on the uneven terrain. I startled when a large shadow washed over me. The hair on the back of my neck prickled as a large figure swiftly passed by. Alarmed I quickly looked up and immediately took a step back. My eyes narrowed in disbelief. Wait, was that a cow?! Dumbfounded, I turned around and watched the animal continue over the arch of the hill. “Quick, Rachael. Grab her!” I heard a voice shout below me. 

My hand flew to my heart and I swivelled around. My brain felt sluggish, my thoughts slow. It took me too long to connect the dots in my head. Grab her, grab the cow. Quickly, quickly. That’s what the voice had instructed. Flustered, I whipped my head back around but the cow had already disappeared over the top of the hill. I stood rooted on the spot, uncertain of what to do. “Oh brother!” The voice shouted again. “You’ve got the reactions of a geriatric! So slow!”

Realisation dawned, I knew that voice. Heavy steps clomped towards me. I twirled around. Suddenly dizzy I swayed slightly and fought to keep my balance. What was going on? I struggled to keep up. A figure loomed over me. I steadied myself, my vision coming back into focus. Wide-eyed I slowly looked up. Black boots, combat trousers, a long buckled coat, a mop of blonde hair, penetrating amethyst eyes and an intimidating scowl. I flinched and took a step back. Neil glared down at me. “And you call yourself a farmer? I can’t believe you!” He said exasperatedly. 

The fog in my brain still swirled, refusing to dissipate. I tried harder to concentrate. It took me a moment longer than what it should’ve to realise I’d just been insulted. I pursed my lips tightly and glowered at Neil. “And, I can’t believe you just said that.” I snapped back indignantly. I felt my cheeks flush despite the cold. Talk about below the belt. 

Neil panted, trying to get his breath back. His face and neck glistened with beads of sweat, sticking his hair to his head. Neil frowned at me and held his accusative glare. I raised an eyebrow at him incredulously. Words once said could never be taken back, I wondered sometimes if Neil understood that. He either meant everything he said or didn’t think before he spoke. I crossed my arms, waiting for an apology. Neil grimaced and dropped his gaze, his features softened slightly. “...Okay, that was going too far. It’s my fault for letting her get away from me to start with.” He admitted sadly. 

Neil’s face crumpled, revealing guilt and regret. My irritation evaporated from just one look at his expression. The want to comfort felt slightly overpowering, I looked at Neil helplessly. I tilted my head, trying to catch his eye, and smiled tentatively. I shook my head. “That’s okay.” I tried to reassure him. 

I bit my lip thinking about what more I could say. Neil looked up at me apprehensively, he looked unsure. He sighed quietly and set his jaw. “I know it might be asking a lot, but do you think you could help me catch her again?” Neil asked quietly. 

“I’ll help.” I agreed quickly. There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that I wouldn’t. I was worried that Neil had seemed so hesitant. I knew he wasn’t the type to ask for help but I didn’t like the idea that he’d thought I might turn him down. I shook my head sadly and then hoped that Neil hadn’t noticed. It was okay to rely on people but maybe in his world it wasn’t. Neil blew out a breath and ran his hand through his hair, he looked relieved. “Great, let’s get going. She ran off towards the mountain peak. Let’s go after her.” He quickly instructed. I nodded my head and we swiftly climbed to the top of the mountain peak. 

I didn’t know what Neil had been feeding this cow but she was fast, too fast. After a long search we were nearing the base of the mountain. The weather was kinder lower down and we were deeper into the forest. Looking up I could see patches of storm grey clouds through gaps in the trees. Neil and I walked close together, the forest was dense with rows of pine and fir tree soldiers. I sighed looking at the hoof prints in the mud, they continued in a straight line before disappearing into the thick forest. I whistled loudly, the sound echoing back. “Here, girl!” I called. 

I strained my eyes, searching. My ears acutely open to the slightest sound. “So tell me, why’re you helping me?” Neil asked in a low voice. Surprised, I stopped and turned to look at him. Neil looked at me curiously, his eyes guarded. Towered by trees, the dirt path stretching only forward or back. Our faces were inches apart and I sucked in a breath. 

“I’m sorry for being so nasty to you back there.” Neil continued in the same low tone. “Yet you still agreed to come along with me?”

I held my breath in the tight space. Neil looked at me intensely, his eyes searching. My eyes were wide, hiding nothing. Neil stood rigidly, on edge. His eyebrows furrowed, like he was trying to figure something out but coming up short. “It isn’t like it’s your cow, either.” Neil pondered. “So why would you help me so easily?”

Ugh, wasn’t it obvious. I felt like the answer was written all over my face. I looked at him sincerely, I felt like I might burst. I’d never wanted to show someone love so much. My hand twitched at my side, wanting to reach out and hold his. I wanted to open the door, to let sunlight into the dark empty room Neil seemed to keep himself in. “Because I like you, Neil.” I blurted out. 

“What? You like me?” Neil asked, stunned. Neil’s suspicious expression dropped, his eyes widened slightly and his jaw slackened. I felt the warmth of a blush spread across my cheeks, I shifted my weight onto one leg nervously. I bit my lip and watched Neil closely, I wondered how much he had read into my words. I crossed my arms, time for damage control I thought. 

Neil struggled to regain his composure, he eyed me doubtfully. “What are you, soft in the head?” He growled at me. “Why would you say something like that here? Don’t mess with me!”

I shied away from Neil’s scrutiny, looking away. I sighed quietly and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I could feel Neil’s eyes boring into me but I was scared to look up, to face him. I shook my head slightly, loosening my hair so that one side fell over my face like a curtain. I didn’t want my expression to give me away. I thought desperately but couldn’t come up with an answer. The only answer I had was the truth. Any other would be an excuse, a lie. I didn’t have a soft head but a soft heart. Here because you were so close and looking at me like that, you looked so lost and I felt the echo of your lonely world. I’m not messing with you but I wish I could take the words back. 

I could feel the tension in the air and the silence felt deafening. My mind raced, torn on what to say I was frozen with indecision. I heard Neil sigh in frustration and then the heavy steps of his boots as he walked away. They paused a dozen steps away. “Hey, what’re you doing?” A gruff voice asked. 

Stunned, I stayed still and blinked blankly. I was so sure that he was walking away. Even from here I heard his scowl of irritation. “You’re going to help me? Come on then! We’re going to get left behind.” Neil said impatiently. 

I snapped my head up. I eyed Neil dubiously. I squinted, his cheeks were red from the cold or he was blushing. I raised an eyebrow at him. I was back and forth with Neil so much, it was always hard to know where I stood. I was very aware that time was of the essence but I hesitated, I wanted to be sure if me coming with him was what he really wanted. Neil rolled his eyes but then he caught my eye and offered me a small smile, a genuine smile. My heart leaped and I grinned back. I shook my head to clear it and then raced to catch up with him. 

“Hey, there she is.” Neil whispered. “You take the left, I’ll take the right.”

I nodded in acknowledgement. We were crouched at the edge of the trees, hidden in the tall shadows. A small circular meadow stretched out in front of us. Neil’s cow was standing at the bank of a small oval pond, grazing. “Go!” Neil whispered urgently. 

At the signal I rushed forward, running quickly along the circumference of the meadow. On the other side I could see that Neil was doing the same. He raised his arm and we both darted in, closing the gap from both sides. Neil drew out a long leather lead from his coat pocket and attached it to the cow’s facial halter. The cow’s big eyes were dilated and she kicked skittishly. I moved back, scared of getting hit. Neil expertly pulled down on the cow’s halter and stroked her head soothingly, he bent down slightly and whispered reassurances. “Great! Got her!” Neil proclaimed after the cow had calmed down. 

I looked at Neil in approval, that was impressive. I slowly walked forward and gently patted the cow on the side of her neck. She was beautiful with brown and white splotches of fur, it felt so soft. “You caused a lot of trouble today.” I chided. The cow looked at me sideways with large dark brown eyes. I laughed, I couldn’t be mad when she was so cute. 

“Rach, thank you. You really helped me out. Thanks. I was real happy you came along.” Neil expressed gratefully. 

I stopped petting the cow and turned slowly to look up at Neil. I eyed him incredulously and frowned. I really wanted to believe him but we hadn’t exactly seen eye to eye lately. It was so rare that Neil was open with his feelings that I hated to question him but a part of me was holding back, I didn't want to be hurt by a false pretence. “Really.” I asked. 

Neil scratched the back of his neck. He tried to look me in the eye and smiled tentatively, he dropped his hand back to his side and nodded his head slightly. “And… I was happy with what you said back there, too. Thanks.” Neil admitted shyly. 

Warmth blossomed in my chest and I took a step closer. My cheeks flushed and my body thrummed, like it wanted to sing. My lips parted slightly as I looked into Neil’s amethyst eyes. Without thinking I leaned towards him. Neil blushed and looked away. He was finally being honest with me and I believed him. I don’t know what had changed but I was soaking that up, scared the walls could come down again. I felt the moment surround us like a bubble, a bubble that I wasn’t ready to let pop just yet. I felt so warm, the attraction I felt swirled intoxicatingly through my body before settling in my stomach. 

Neil looked at me from the corner of his eye and I leaned closer still. “I like you too.” He confessed in a whisper. 

I gasped slightly and felt my eyes widen. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering frantically, trying to escape. Heat flushed through me. I’d only felt like this once before and I didn’t think I ever really would again. In the small gap between us electricity crackled. Neil’s face and neck were flushed, his amethyst eyes melted and burned. He looked down at my parted lips, I thought his own looked very inviting. Took over by the moment I reached up on tip toe and puckered my lips. I froze when Neil stiffened and leaned away. 

The bubble popped and I fell back down to Earth. I gasped, I took a step back as I came back to myself. The butterflies flew away and I was left feeling strangely empty and a little disappointed. I shook my head, feeling slightly light-headed. I struggled to come to terms with what had nearly happened. I felt relieved but a little rejected. Had we almost kissed. Had Neil wanted to. Was I glad that he stopped. Thoughts buzzed through my head but I couldn’t make sense of any of them. But we’d come so close and Neil had looked at me with that fire in his eyes. He might have hesitated but that meant something, something that was reciprocated. I smiled like an idiot and a part of the warmth I’d just felt spread through my chest. 

“Hey, don’t smile like that!” Neil complained. “I’m taking the cow home. You take care on your own way back, okay?” 

I quickly reached out and grasped Neil’s arm. I looked at him imploringly. “Please don’t ignore me anymore.” I rasped through a tight throat. 

Neil gently released his arm from my grasp, my hand fell back to my side. Neil looked unsettled as he ran a hand through his hair. I looked at him for an answer and set my jaw, I wasn’t going to let this go. It was more or nothing. Neil’s face twisted with uncertainty and he pulled slightly at his hair. For once he wasn’t cool, calm and collected. Eventually Neil sighed and shoved his hands into his coat pockets. “I’ll try but I can’t make any promises.” He conceded. 

I knew that if I pushed I’d just push him away. It wasn’t everything I wanted but I was content enough to be satisfied. Neil needed more time and I needed patience. I thought we were heading back in the right direction, baby steps. “Just be yourself.” I assented. “That will always be enough for me.” 

Neil showed me a small one sided smile before he began to lead his cow out of the meadow, he didn’t quite look me in the eye as he turned to leave. I watched him walk away until he vanished into the trees. My legs suddenly felt weak and I sank to my knees in the long grass. I laughed without humour to myself. I only needed two words to describe this situation, this relationship. It’s complicated. 

Later:

I worked through the door, it was good to be home. The warmth enveloped me immediately. I took off my mud splattered boots and left them by the front door, I proceeded to throw my coat and scarf over the coat rack. I looked out of the window, grateful that I’d made it back in time. The wind whipped outside and fat raindrops fell down the glass. 

“You’re back!” A relieved voice gushed. “I was starting to worry.”

I whirled around, startled. Henry sat at the kitchen table, he had a concerned frown on his face. I arched an eyebrow at him. “I thought you would’ve gone back to the inn by now.” I confessed dubiously. I quickly walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a plain mug, I poured myself a steaming cup of coffee from the filtered coffee machine. I pulled out a chair and sat opposite Henry. 

“Trying to get rid of me.” He chuckled. 

My hands hovered over the top of the mug, trying to soak up the heat without getting burned by the steam. I rolled my eyes. “Haha.” I said sarcastically. “You know you can always make yourself at home here.” I added, eyeing the hot beverage he’d made himself. 

Henry shot me an apologetic look. “I didn’t want to be caught out by the weather.” He explained. Henry was staying at a local inn, in another village, half a dozen miles away. 

I nodded my head in acknowledgement. I’d catch up with him about farm work later, right now I didn’t have the energy. Besides, I trusted Henry. Surprise, surprise. City boy made a half decent farmhand. But then I’d started out that way too. 

“So, what’ve you been up to today?” Henry asked conversationally. 

My eyes flickered up. I hesitated, it would be a little hard to explain the whole cow chasing adventure. It wasn’t the easiest story to believe and knowing Henry he’d laugh at me, I wasn’t in the mood for that. A part of me didn’t want Henry to know but that felt wrong, I avoided exploring that feeling deeper for now. “I was helping Neil with something.” I said dismissively.

Henry eyed me sceptically. “Who’s Neil?” He asked. 

I sighed. I took that to mean that Henry hadn’t introduced himself around town yet. I only knew that Dunhill had come by to make his acquaintance and I hadn’t got around to introducing Iroha. It would have been polite to but Henry had been busy learning the ropes and he was only here until the end of the week. I was quite happy to keep Henry hidden. Introductions meant questions, conversations and stories shared. I’d rather the majority of the townsfolk not find out that Henry was an old flame, it would mean small town gossip and speculation. 

“The animal dealer.” I explained a little impatiently. 

“The grebo guy.” Henry grilled. 

I tutted. “That’s not nice.” I chided. “If you introduced yourself around town you’d know.” 

I was being hypocritical, I was rebuking him for something I didn’t really want him to do. But deflection was easier than explaining. Henry pulled a disgruntled face. “I’ll get round to it, just haven’t had the time.” He moaned. 

I shrugged my shoulders. I blew on my mug and drained the contents in large gulps. I got up from the table and left the mug on the side by the sink. “What were you doing with…” Henry began to ask behind me. 

“Nothing interesting.” I cut him off as I turned around to face him. Henry sulked and I raised my eyebrows, daring him to push things. Henry backed down but it was quite obvious he wasn’t happy. I tried to smile at him but he grimaced and looked away. I shook my head to myself, perplexed. Henry was normally happy go lucky, I wondered why something apparently trivial seemed to be bothering him so much. Maybe he was jealous, a little voice whispered to me. I quickly and harshly dismissed the idea. It wasn’t logical or practical, if it was true. I groaned and Henry shot me a concerned look. “I’m fine.” I reassured him quickly. “I’m going to go and lie down, I have a headache. Stay as long as you like.” 

I waved a hand in Henry’s direction and walked to the bedroom, I felt his eyes following me. I flopped face down onto my bed and groaned again. Definitely, complicated...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, guys! I know that Neil's green heart event happens after the confession scene but I made it happen before, to fit in better with the story. And, yes. I know the term grebo is an outdated term from the 90's.


	25. The Green heart event N.P.O.V

My heavy boots thundered against the ground, I cursed myself inwardly and pushed myself to run harder. I shook my head angrily at myself, it had been such a rookie mistake. I’d left the pen gate on the latch rather than securing it properly with the bolt, one heavy gust of wind and the gate had burst open. The cow had used the opportunity to bolt. The new addition was skittish and unpredictable, I’d kept her segregated from the herd. Helping a customer I’d come back to a deserted pen and a trail to track. It was lucky she’d made a beeline for the woods rather than further into the village. 

Sweat trailed down the side of my face and down the nape of my neck, my hair stuck uncomfortably to my forehead. The wind whipped my coat back and stung my exposed skin, it was harder to run against the gale. My legs burnt and I gasped for breath. I rounded the corner and my ragged breath caught in my throat, I’d finally caught up. “H-hey! Wait a moment!” I managed to yell. 

My knees buckled and I stumbled forward a few steps before catching myself. I doubled over, wheezing. I spluttered and coughed, my heart pounded against my ribcage. I drew in deep breaths, resting my hands on my knees. I waited for my heart to slow. I looked up and tried to yell again but my throat felt too tight. The cow was almost at the top of the hill. I’d almost caught up to her but my achy muscles were locked in place. I squinted my eyes and they widened when I recognised Rachael in the middle of the path. “Quick, Rachael. Grab her!” I shouted hoarsely against the whistling of the wind. 

Rachael turned around, her hand clutching the shirt fabric above her heart. Rachael stared at me blankly, her eyes wide. She frowned and blinked slowly. There was no recognition on her face as I looked at her imploringly. Rachael’s face twisted in agitation as she whipped her head back around. Too late, the cow had already disappeared over the arch of the hill. I straightened up, I sighed heavily and slammed my fist down through the air. That was the perfect chance and Rachael had completely messed it up. I felt my cheeks burn with anger, momentarily thinking that she must have done it by purpose. “Oh brother!” I shouted. “You’ve got the reactions of a geriatric! So slow!”

Still struggling to catch my breath I jogged over to where Rachael stood rooted to the path. Rachael looked confused, her eyes unfocused. Her face looked pale and drawn. Rachael swayed unsteadily and she attempted to regain her balance. I felt concern flash across my face before I wiped it away. My hands twitched, preparing to catch her if she started to fall. Rachael looked dazed and I scowled. Anger twisted my features and I loomed over Rachael, my shadow washing over her. This was why the cow had gotten away, if Rachael had been more on the ball the chase would’ve been over by now. Instead she looked like she needed to lie down, I wondered when she was going to get it together. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back a snarl. "And you call yourself a farmer? I can't believe you!" I spat. 

Rachael flinched and slowly looked up at me with wide eyes, my eyes plunged icly into her sapphire ones. Rachael’s expression sparked back to life and she frowned at me, her bottom lip jutting out. Something seemed to dawn on her and her eyes narrowed, sharply piercing my own. The cloud that had seemed to cling to her lifted and she bristled with hostility. "And, I can't believe you just said that." She snapped indignantly. Rachael shook her head in disbelief as she appraised me cooly. 

I panted, my heavy breathing struggling to stabilise. Rachael’s cheeks were flushed red as she glared at me accusatively. I frowned, I could feel beads of sweat slowly dripping down my face and neck. I knew I’d crossed the line, my stomach dropped. Angry, the words had shot out before I’d thought to stop them. Rachael raised her eyebrow at me incredulously, she crossed her arms and shifted her weight onto one leg. I grimaced distastefully and looked down. The truth was I was angry at myself, if I’d been more responsible this never would’ve happened in the first place. The blame was mine and I’d lashed out. I felt my features soften. I didn’t want to cut Rachael with words I didn’t mean. "...Okay, that was going too far. It's my fault for letting her get away from me to start with." I admitted in a small voice. 

Guilt and remorse clawed at my insides and I felt my face scrunch up. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose between my index finger and thumb. My temple thumped and I tried to concentrate. I needed to catch up with the cow before anything happened to her, my gut twisted at the possibility. “That’s okay.” Rachael whispered reassuringly, I opened my eyes.

Rachael’s head was cocked to the side and she looked at me helplessly. Her eyes were earnest as they scanned my face, she bit her lip and frowned in concern. I couldn’t understand the look on her face, couldn’t understand why she’d be concerned for me after what I’d said to her. I hated the sympathy I could see swirling in her eyes. I appraised Rachael apprehensively. I detested the idea of asking for help, of being indebted to anyone. I’d been independent for so long I shied away from it and in my experience help always came with a price. But I needed to find the cow, two people would cover more ground. Indecision waned inside and I quickly relented. I sighed quietly and set my jaw. "I know it might be asking a lot, but do you think you could help me catch her again?" I asked. 

“I’ll help.” Rachael agreed without a pause. I blew out a breath and ran a hand though my hair. I relaxed, relieved. I didn’t want to admit it but I knew that I actually needed a hand. I tried to put my own feelings aside, finding the cow as soon as possible was all that mattered. For a moment I eyed Rachael suspiciously, she’d jumped to help out without hesitating. Rachael shook her head at me sadly while I tried to figure her out. I couldn’t understand the expression on her face. "Great, let's get going. She ran off towards the mountain peak. Let's go after her." I instructed quickly. I could feel the seconds slipping by. Rachael nodded her head and we swiftly climbed to the top of the mountain peak. 

After a long search we were nearing the base of the mountain, stopping before had allowed the cow to get further ahead. We were deep into the forest, the dense trees forming protection against the wind. I eyed the sky warily, the dark clouds promised rain. Rachael and I walked close together in the constricted space, hoof prints stretched out before us in the mud. I stayed as far away from Rachael as I could in the limited room but every now and again my shoulder brushed against hers. The near proximity made me uncomfortable. Rachael whistled loudly, the sound echoing back. “Here, girl!” She called earnestly. 

I watched Rachael discreetly from the corner of my eye, worry was etched onto her features as she scanned every angle of the forest. Her eyes squinted against the dull light and she struggled to keep her pace matched to mine, she’d wonder a dozen paces forward before turning and stopping to wait. Rachael enemated impatience and sighed often. Again, I wondered why she’d agreed to help me. I’m sure she had a million other things to do. I thought about it but it didn’t make sense, it wasn’t logical. Rachael was being nice, kind. Completely unexpected after I’d been doing my best to avoid her as much as possible for days. But she never did what I expected, she always surprised me. I couldn’t think of anything that Rachael would get out of this. Maybe she’d say I owed her, call in the loan when I’d forgotten about it. But that didn’t feel right, didn’t seem like her. I laughed quietly under my breath, I was so arrogant. Rachael wasn’t doing me a favour at all, she cared about finding the cow and not about lending me a hand. I wouldn’t know if I didn’t ask, without an answer I knew my mind would plague me. "So tell me, why're you helping me?" I asked Rachael in a low voice. 

Rachael stopped and turned to look at me, her eyes wide in surprise. I looked at her curiously but was careful to keep my expression guarded. Rachael sucked in a breath and swallowed loudly, our faces were inches apart. I tilted my head down towards her slightly and searched her face earnestly. The answer, it had to be here somewhere. No matter the reason I was grateful, I’d been so rude to her. Never even really apologised. "I'm sorry for being so nasty to you back there." I said huskily. “"Yet you still agreed to come along with me?"

Rachael’s eyes stretched wider, like saucers. Her midnight blue eyes deep as the night sky, like stars they held secrets. The answer could be held there or in the curve of her mouth, the faint blush on her cheeks. I stood rigidly, feeling on edge. My brows furrowed and my eyes continued to pierce hers, searching but not knowing what to look for. "It isn't like it's your cow, either." I pondered out loud. "So why would you help me so easily?"

Rachael cringed, her blush grew more pronounced. She averted her gaze to the side and she bit down on her lower lip. Rachael squirmed, her hand twitched at her side. I thought she looked guilty, perhaps my preconceived ideas hadn’t been far of the mark. I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. Rachael’s gaze flickered back to my own and her brow puckered. She took a deep breath before blurting. "Because I like you, Neil." 

"What? You like me?" I asked, stunned. My face dropped, my jaw hung loosely open. I felt my eyes widen and my heart fluttered in my chest. It was like someone had just chucked ice water over me. My brain tried to register the small combination of words but came up blank. I struggled to gain composure, I forced myself to blink and close my mouth. I eyed Rachael doubtfully, questioning what she’d said. Rachael shifted her weight onto one leg and hugged her arms to her chest protectively. She pressed down on her bottom lip harder and struggled to look at me. She must be playing mind games, trying to get back at me for how poorly I’d been treating her. Rachael couldn’t mean what she said, unless she’d become masochistic. If she was trying to get to me she couldn’t have picked a worse time. Anger sparked in me and my eyes glazed over. I looked at Rachael coldly, grimacing in disdain. "What are you, soft in the head?" I growled. "Why would you say something like that here? Don't mess with me!" 

Rachael shied away, shrinking back from my scrutiny. Rachael looked down at the dirt, she sighed quietly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I raised my eyebrows and tried to catch her eye but she continued to stare at the ground as if it held something of interest. Rachael shook her hair out so that one side fell over her face, I couldn’t see her clearly through the blonde curtain. Silence stretched out and tension hummed in the gap between us. I sighed heavily in frustration. I wasn’t going to toture Rachael to explain, her silence said everything. I wasn’t going to let myself be manipulated. I stalked off indignantly, my feet pounding the ground. I walked a dozen steps before I lost all momentum and stopped. 

I scowled at myself and shoved my hands roughly into my coat pockets. I tried to force my legs to keep on moving but they didn’t budge. I struggled with myself, between what I wanted to believe and what I knew to be true. I’d never known Rachael to lie, except when it came to herself. I slowly turned around knowing that it would’ve been easier if I’d carried on, not right but definitely easier. Rachael was still where I’d left her, her shoulders were hunched forward and her head was down. Her curtain of hair blew slightly in the wind and she hugged herself tighter. She reminded me of Rod’s puppy, the one I’d looked after once before. "Hey, what're you doing?" I called gruffly.

Rachael flinched, she slowly lifted her head and straightened up. I raised an eyebrow at her. Rachael brushed her hair back from her face and looked at me blankly before she blinked rapidly. Almost like she was looking at a mirage. I scowled impatiently, she really did have the reactions of a geriatric. "You're going to help me? Come on then! We're going to get left behind." I hurried. 

Rachael eyed me dubiously before narrowing her eyes suspiciously. I rolled my eyes and titled my head in the direction down the path. Rachael raised an eyebrow and placed a hand on her hip. I couldn’t blame her, I was starting to feel like I had multiple personality disorder. There was something about her that made me erratic. I caught her eye and offered a small smile, trying to be convincing. Rachael relaxed and she grinned back, she shook her head and ran to catch up. 

"Hey, there she is." I whispered. “"You take the left, I'll take the right."

We were crouched at the edge of the trees, hidden in the tall shadows. A small circular meadow stretched out in front of us. The cow was standing at the bank of a small oval pond, grazing contentedly. Rachael nodded her head in acknowledgement. “Go!” I whispered urgently. 

I rushed forward, running around the circumference of the meadow. On the other side I could see that Rachael was doing the same. I paused when we were close, I gave a hand signal and we closed the gap from both sides. I quickly drew the leather lead, from my coat pocket, and attached it to the cow’s facial halter. The cow’s eyes dilated in fear and she kicked back skittishly. I shot Rachael a warning look and she backed away half a dozen paces, a hit could cause some serious damage. Knowing that I pulled down firmly but gently on the cow’s halter. I kept her head down whilst I stroked the tuft of hair between her ears. I bent down slightly and whispered soothing sounds. When the cow calmed down I patted her head and stood up. "Great! Got her!" I said. 

My body relaxed in relief. The cow was safe and sound. No harm, no foul. I told myself. I tried not to think of the what if’s if she hadn't been caught. I made no sudden movements as not to startle the cow again. I indicated to Rachael that she could come over now. Rachael nodded her head and slowly walked over, she let the cow see her approach before she carefully patted her on the side of the neck. Rachael smiled and her eyes creased with affection. The cow relaxed further under her comforting touch. "You caused a lot of trouble today." She chided half-heartedly 

You could tell a lot about somebody from the way they treated animals. I’d been looking for a second motive but Rachael hadn’t had one. It shook me how good she was. The Earth was tainted because it was filled with selfish people who lied, cheated and manipulated. People had so many faces, even the most innocent looking could turn around and stab you in the back. But Rachael had a big heart, she was unselfish and honest. That would've scared me if I saw her like everyone else in this town did, as a saint. But she wasn’t perfect. Rachael was annoying, stubborn and too sassy. She worked too hard and bent over backward to help anyone. But I didn’t like the idea of me being the same as everyone to her. There was an ache inside and I realised I wanted her light in my life, to dust out the cobwebs of the dark corners. I’d been numb for so long but I felt like I was starting to thaw. Rachael made me think that there could be beauty in this world too, not just the ugly side I was accustomed to seeing. Maybe I was spot on about everything and it was just her who was different, a diamond in the ruff. I felt all aglow and realised that I was happy, really happy. "Rach, thank you. You really helped me out. Thanks. I was real happy you came along." I admitted gratefully.

Rachael stopped patting the cow and turned towards me slowly, she looked at me incredulously. Rachael looked hesitant as she asked tentatively. “Really?”

I heard the uncertainty in her voice and hated that I was the one who’d put it there. I had an irrational want for her to trust me but I couldn’t expect that, I’d given her no reason to. I didn’t want to leave her with a misconception. I had no idea if the truth set you free but decided to give it a try. I scratched the back of my neck. I tried to look Rachael in the eye and smiled awkwardly. I felt nervous and tried to gather my confidence before it all drained away. I dropped my hand and gave Rachael a small nod. "And… I was happy with what you said back there, too. Thanks." 

My confession sparked an instant reaction in Rachael. A soft pink blush stole across her cheeks and she took a small step forward. Her lips parted and she leaned towards me. Her sapphire eyes gleamed and her head was framed by blonde locks. I had to look away, she was beautiful. I flushed, feeling the warmth radiating off my cheeks. Great, now I was blushing. My head screamed that I was about to cross a line, that I might not be able to go back. But I didn’t care. I felt reckless and spontaneous, the complete opposite of myself. Everything I believed in flew away. I’d convinced myself I’d been indifferent to Rachael to protect her, from who I was and from who I couldn’t be. To protect myself from the unwanted invasion of the foreign feelings she stirred up in me. To protect her from when I’d inevitably say or do something stupid. Instead I’d just left her with a false misconception that I didn’t care, that she wasn’t really anything. Now I wanted her to know that she was everything. I looked at Rachael from the corner of my eye and she leaned in even closer. “I like you too.” I whispered. 

Rachael gasped slightly and her eyes widened. I felt giddy, excited. My heart pounded and my skin tingled. I felt a rush of adrenaline, everything seemed heightened. Almost euphoric. I looked at Rachael intensely, her eyes sparkled. I looked at her parted lips, they looked so warm and inviting. I could feel a hunger growing in my stomach and heat spread through my body. I thought of how soft her lips would feel, how they’d mold against mine. All I had to do was lean down to satisfy my curiosity. Rachael leaned up on tip toe, her lips puckered. In anticipation I inclined my head downwards and then almost instinctively I stiffened and leaned away. 

Rachael froze in place before she slowly lowered back to her feet, she gasped and took a step back. I could see the hurt on her face, the confusion. Rachael shook her head slightly and looked down at the grass. The rose-coloured glasses, I’d been looking through, shattered. Reality hit me, hard. Dazed, I fought to process what had just happened. We’d almost kissed and I’d wanted to, badly. I was partly relieved and partly disappointed. I knew that if I’d kissed her I would’ve fallen, been done for. I’d been rash and rushed in but I wasn’t ready to break down that many boundaries. I inwardly curled into myself, becoming cautious and calculative. I was selfish enough for Rachael to know how I felt but not enough to commit to anything. A little voice was pushing me to take the jump, to seize the chance whilst I still had one. But I didn’t feel deserving enough, worthy. I looked at Rachael, she was smiling as wide as a cheshire-cat. "Hey, don't smile like that!" I complained. "I'm taking the cow home. You take care on your own way back, okay?"

Before I could move Rachael reached out quickly and grabbed my arm, she looked at me imploringly. I frowned, baffled. "Please don't ignore me anymore." Rachael rasped in a horse voice. 

I gently released myself from Rachael’s grip and her hand fell limply back to her side. Her words unsettled me, I ran a hand through my hair. I looked at Rachael contemplatively. Rachael focused her gaze on me and stuck her chin out. My face twisted with the uncertainty I felt. I pulled slightly at my hair. I’d already gone way past my emotional range and Rachael was pushing me further. I could tell she wasn’t going to let this go easily. Indecision pulled at me. I sighed and shoved my hands into my pockets. Ignoring her after she’d helped me today wouldn’t be justifiable, I couldn’t persuade myself that it would do any good. I couldn’t see the point, it hadn’t changed my feelings and Rachael hadn’t taken the hint. I had to find some middle ground because if I got too close I don’t think I’d be able to fully control myself, she was too tempting. "I'll try but I can't make any promises." I conceded. 

Rachael looked satisfied and she relaxed, she looked at me sweetly. "Just be yourself." She smiled. "That will always be enough for me."

Surprise flickered across my face but I caught it quickly and forced my expression to remain neutral. I had no idea what she meant or why she’d said anything. Ugh, what was she doing to me?! My heart leapt, it hadn’t done that before. I forced myself to show Rachael a half-hearted smile before I picked up the cow’s lead and began to lead her out of the meadow. I could feel Rachael watching me until I crossed over the tree line. I kept my pace slow and the cow walked steadily behind me. My feet walked automatically as my thoughts buzzed. This was complicated and I needed a game plan. A face popped into my head, the farm hand, Henry. I scowled and forced the image away. I had no clue what was going on there but there’d been rumours around town, rumours that made my blood boil. I wasn’t the type to follow local gossip but there wasn’t smoke without fire. I decided to go with innocence until proven guilty. There were too many pieces on this chess board and I felt like I was losing.


	26. A kiss for the road

The road out of town stretched ahead, obscured by the swirling vapours of a thick fog. The dawn was cold but the air was fresh, rejuvenating. The sun struggled to break over the horizon and dissipate the remaining shadows of the night. I tightened the knot of my red scarf and rubbed my hands together, trying to trap as much warmth as possible. Every breath I took came out as condensation, a fleeting misty cloud reminding me that I was no longer wrapped up in the warmth of blanket sheets. Inwardly I grumbled but I didn’t mind, there was an important reason why I was starting the day even earlier than usual. 

“I really wouldn't mind walking you into town.” I said as I looked hopefully at Henry. Henry’s hands were buried deep in his coat pockets and his head of curls was tucked under a beanie hat. He sighed and shook his head firmly, his mind made up. 

“I know you can’t stand for me to leave.” Henry winked at me. “But I don’t want you to have a late start on the farm and…”

I raised an eyebrow, deciding to play along. “And.” I humoured him. 

Henry attempted a smoulder and I snorted. “If I let you come with me I don’t think I could let you come back.” He admitted, piling on the charm. 

I scrunched my nose up and bobbed my tongue out. I gave him a deadpan look. “I hate to break it to you.” I teased. “But you’re not that enticing.”

Henry placed a hand on his heart and pretended to look wounded. “Ouch.” He said. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

I laughed and patted his arm. “Be happy I’m saying you’re wrong.” I quipped. “You need to worry when a woman calls you right, that’s when she’s being sarcastic.”

I placed a hand on my hip and tilted my head to the side, flashing Henry a grin. Henry scoffed and rolled his eyes. “No arguing with that logic.” He commented. 

“Smart.” I replied with a look of approval. 

I sighed, realising that we couldn’t kid around forever. I didn’t want to get to the point but Henry’s train wouldn’t wait. I tried to put on a brave face as I reached up and adjusted Henry’s hat so that it wasn’t so close to his eyes. “You better get going.” I advised reluctantly. 

As I leaned back Henry pulled me close and squeezed me tightly, I wrapped my arms around him and placed my head on his chest. I buried my face deeper and bit my lip, I was determined not to cry. I squeezed Henry back and felt his lips skim against the top of my head. I started to pull away and he let me. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to make this harder than what it had to be. I wanted to say goodbye as quickly and painlessly as possible, like ripping off a plaster. I took a step back and rubbed at my stinging eyes. “Henry, goodbye.” I rasped. 

Henry pulled a face and frowned. “That sounds too final.” He said. “I don’t like hearing it and I don’t want to say it.” 

I tried to laugh but didn’t quite manage it. “Don’t be silly.” I chided. “You can come back next time you need a placement or I’ll see you the next time I visit the city.”

Henry looked at me sternly. “Rach, don’t make promises.” He said seriously. 

My face twitched and I blew out a breath, so much for making this as easy as possible. “I’m just entertaining possibilities.” I argued defensively. “It’s not going to be forever.”

Henry shot me a look. “That’s a dangerous game.” He warned.   
I blinked confused, I didn’t know what he meant. I wasn’t playing a game, I wouldn’t. I would’ve expected Henry to know that. I pursed my lips, feeling a little affronted. Henry smiled wistfully and slowly reached out to stroke my cheek with a gloved hand. I smiled back, bemused. “I get the feeling that it is.” He said. 

I leaned into his hand and looked at him earnestly. “Henry, you’re my friend…” I started. 

“That’s not what I meant.” He cut me off. I suddenly realised what he did mean, not in that way and it dawned on me that he was right. I already knew but the truth hit home anyway, forcing its way front and centre in my head. The last time I’d said goodbye to Henry I’d been devastated. I could feel the echo, the memory of that pain, but it had lost its hold over me. Henry would always be home, more like family than a friend. I was saying goodbye, not to him but to a lost love. It was bittersweet to let go, I felt like I’d lost something but it was a relief to finally be able to separate the two. I couldn’t think of anything to say except. “I know.”

I twirled a lock of Henry’s hair between my fingers. I had so many words to say but no way to say them. Instead I leaned back slightly and smiled fondly at Henry, I felt my eyes crease. I leaned in to kiss his cheek but Henry quickly turned his head and kissed me on the lips. Instinctively I kissed him back, using the slightest pressure. My brain disconnected and my body acted on it’s own accord, it was a scripted response to what had once been natural between us. Henry took my response as encouragement, he dug one hand into my hair and cupped the back of my neck with the other. He deepened the kiss and pulled me tighter. I should have been angry but I was curious. I didn’t feel anything romantically inclined at all. Henry tried to part my lips with his own, tried to encourage a better response from my unresponsive mouth. No, this felt wrong and out of place. I stiffened and pulled away, I gently untangled myself from Henry. 

Henry breathed heavily. He pulled his hat off roughly and ran a hand through his hair. I tried to be angry but I wasn’t, couldn’t make myself be. I attempted to glare at Henry and folded my arms across my chest. A cocky grin played around his lips but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was hurt. “I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not.” He said unapologetically. 

I gave up on trying to look reproachful and shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. “I’m not.” I confessed. “It put some things into perspective.”  
Yes, that my heart no longer belonged to you. Again, I already knew but the truth resonated. 

Henry gave me a funny look and I shrugged my shoulders again, he didn’t want to apologise and I didn’t want to explain. Besides, saying I’m in love with someone else really would be rubbing salt in the wound. Henry’s pocket beeped, he pulled out his smartphone and glimpsed at the screen. Henry looked at me from the corner of his eye and I raised my eyebrows. He pulled his hat back on and explained. “I set a reminder of the train time.”

“You really better get going.” I said. I took in the sight of Henry: His curls, his brown eyes, his mouth, the lines of his face. It could be a while until I saw him again. I reached out and squeezed his hand before letting go. Henry attempted a smile but it looked forced, he looked distant. 

Silence stretched between us and I tried to look encouraging. “I’ll write to you.” I picked up Henry’s small backpack from the floor and he let me place it over his shoulder. “Call me when you get home.” I instructed. 

Henry straightened his backpack and rolled his shoulders. He blew out a breath and seemed to come back to himself a little. “Sure.” He said. 

My throat tightened, this was not the way I had wanted this to go. “You’ve really helped me out, thanks.” I said. “You’ll be an amazing farmer.”

Henry smiled sweetly, showing off his dimples. “I had a good teacher.” He replied. 

Henry’s phone beeped again and I made a shooing motion. He winked at me and shot me a lopsided grin, the one I liked the best. I waved as he turned and walked away, he was soon lost in the fog. 

I stood there long after he’d left, rather dazed. There were so many what if’s. If I’d stayed, if he’d tried maybe things would have turned out differently. But time couldn’t be turned back and some things you’d never know. I didn’t know what Henry really felt or what he really wanted, maybe he was trying to hold onto something for a little while longer or maybe he did wish that I could’ve gone with him. But my place was here, Henry didn’t belong in my new beginning. A dear friend had left but I was free from my first love. They say you never forget your first love and I know I’ll never forget mine. But I felt ready for my second one...


	27. Jealousy, the green eyed monster

Chapter 27: Jealousy, the green eyed monster 

The wooden bridge creaked as I crossed from the village into the forest, the path was almost invisible behind a layer of fiery leaves that crunched under my boots. I was hoping that my fish traps, set in the river, had caught a shrimp. I wanted to make a special someone his favourite. “Oh Rachael.” A smooth voice said. 

I looked up to see Allen walking over, I smiled and gave a small wave. Inside I was cringing but I reminded myself to be nice. I grimaced, anticipating a chat up line or an over the top compliment. Curious, I narrowed my eyes slightly at Allen. A nature walk, wasn’t he worried that he’d mess up his hair or get dirt on his perfectly ironed blazer. I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and cocked my head to the side. “What’re you doing?” I asked. 

Allen rolled his eyes. “Isn’t it obvious?” He said snarkily. “I’m taking a break.” 

Allen’s eyes twinkled and he flashed a confident grin, exposing his white teeth. I took a step back and prepared myself, Allen looked like the cat who's got the cream and that couldn’t mean anything good. “You’re lucky, actually, running into me right now. Really lucky!” Allen said. 

I could run or make up an excuse. I sighed internally, it was too late for the former and the latter would be obvious. I reluctantly decided to play along. I tried my best to look interested. “Why would that be?” I asked. 

Allen needed no further encouragement. He took a step closer and pushed up his glasses. “I was just starting to feel thirsty, so I was going to get some tea.” He explained. 

Please don’t invite me, I hoped in vain. Another small smile, a nod of the head. I couldn’t think of a way to get out of this conversation, without being rude, I had to look like I was listening. Allen waved his hand nonchalantly through the air. “You don’t have anything to do, right?.” He said. “I’m feeling pretty good today, I’ll take you along with me if you like!”

I scoffed and attempted to hide it with a cough, I crossed my arms and shifted my weight to one side. So pretentious! Of course I was busy and he sounded like he’d be doing me a favour. I thought of how the conversation would go. A thanks but no thanks would lead to a why, I was not going to say because I want to cook a meal for the guy I’m kind of in love with. I could lie. No, I’m a terrible liar. So obvious. “I don’t know.” I said in a small voice. 

Allen looked exasperated, he twitched his nose in distaste and looked at me like I was odd. I discreetly rolled my eyes, not everyone wants to have tea with you pretty boy. “Come on.” Allen encouraged me. He walked past me to the bridge and turned his head back. Allen tutted and frowned at me. My face slackened. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He said. “Come on, get a move on!”

Allen raised his eyebrows at me, I could feel the dumb expression on my face. That was a new level of arrogance. After a few seconds I shrugged, if you can’t beat them join them. Allen continued to walk into town. Flustered, I ran to catch up with him.   
******************************************************  
A table for two, discreetly tucked away in the corner. I scrunched up my nose, this was a little too intimate for my liking. Allen pulled out my chair and tucked me under the table once I was seated. I smiled at him thankfully but refused to let my defences down, a gentleman or a pretenceful show of chivalry. Allen’s hands were folded neatly on top of the table and he looked at me from over the rim of his glasses. I coughed awkwardly and fidgeted in my seat. I let my gaze drift around the restaurant. 

Clement’s restaurant hadn’t been open for long but it was already a huge success. It meant people in the village weren’t forced to cook for themselves anymore. Situated on the town plaza the restaurant had become the new social hub of Echo Village. It was a revitalisation, a luxray of the city. To be able to order food out and about or after working all day, to grab a treat or hot drink with friends. Plus, Clement’s cooking was the best! It was a part of the third restoration plan, only the clinic left to go. With the inn built Hossan and Niko had moved back as well as the restaurant’s waitress, Felicity. 

Felicity weaved her way through the busy restaurant and handed me a menu with a beaming smile. “Welcome!” She said sweetly. “Clement’s dishes are all superb. I recommend everything on the menu, so please enjoy a large meal.” 

“Thanks.” I mumbled and skimmed through the leather bound menu. Felicity was gentle and kind, it was very easy to like her. I felt we were becoming friends, we were a similar age. Felicity was beautiful with her violet eyes, golden locks and tall frame. I found it a little intimidating. I ordered a slice of lemon cake and cup of tea, and passed the menu to Allen. He ordered a slice of chocolate cake. Strange he didn’t even glance at Felicity. 

I stared unsure at the dessert in front of me. I’d already eaten out way too much this week, I wasn’t sure there was enough room in my budget. I played with my fork, thinking of how I could make up the difference later. “What’s up? It’s my treat, so you don’t have to hold back. Eat, come on.” Surprised, I looked up. Allen was smiling at me, he took a small bite of his dessert and indicated that I should do the same. 

I felt my face light up. I smiled back, genuinely touched. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had treated me like this. I wasn’t used to it but it felt nice. “Thank you so much.” I said gratefully. 

Allen shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. “I invited you here. There’s no need to thank me.” He explained. “Having a woman pay for food and drink while she is eating with me goes against everything I stand for.” 

I raised an eyebrow but took a huge forkful of cake and a sip of tea. There was a bitter tang to the lemon icing and I flinched when the hot tea scalded my mouth, I blew on the beverage and carefully placed it back on the porcelain saucer. Allen’s view was outdated but I thought his heart was in the right place. “That’s kind of you.” I complimented. 

Allen looked at me incredulously and tutted. “You think that makes me kind?” He asked. “No, I’m just doing what anyone would do! Come on, let’s eat.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I practically inhaled my dessert and in a few minutes there were only crumbs left. Maybe Allen wasn’t as much as a flirt or a ladies man than I’d thought. Who knew, it could be possible for a guy to treat a girl without an ulterior motive. I searched the table, looking for a napkin. I froze in place when I saw Allen reach his hand over the table. I frowned when he swept his thumb over the corner of my mouth. I pouted and pulled back. Frustratingly I felt my cheeks flush. I grunted and narrowed my eyes at Allen. He raised the corner of his lips and shrugged. “There was a crumb, right there.” He said, indicating where said crumb had just been. 

I stared at him indignantly as I tried to hide my embarrassment. Allen smirked and slowly stood up from the table. “Phew, that was great! I’d better get going, anyway. We part ways here!” He exclaimed. 

Allen walked around to my side of the table, he bent down and whispered quietly in my ear. “Princess, you’re so cute when you blush.”

I choked and spluttered. I leaned away and had to right myself so I wouldn’t fall out of my chair. I was left floundering as Allen sauntered away. I tried to regain my composure and hid my face behind my hair. I knew Allen was a bit of a casanova, did he genuinely have a crush on me or was he just teasing. What did today mean? Maybe I was naive to have thought he was just being a nice guy. I cringed, I hope he didn’t think this was a date. 

My embarrassment soon turned to anger. Allen wanted a reaction and I wasn’t going to give him an encore to this afternoon’s performance. He’d offered to treat me, I didn’t owe him anything. In fact next time I saw him I’d give him a taste of his own medicine. Feeling a little better I got up to leave, feeling self conscious I kept my head down. When I was close to the door I heard a giggle and looked up. I gasped and frowned. 

Felicity was bent over Neil’s shoulder, pointing things out on the menu. “All you ever order is black coffee.” She chided. 

“That’s how I like it.” Neil mumbled, he looked uncomfortable. A slight blush stained his cheeks and nose, he didn’t quite look at Felicity. Felicity sighed. “Okay.” She relented. 

Felicity squeezed Neil’s shoulder and took the menu away from him in a flourish, her hand grazing his. “Thanks.” Neil muttered. He offered Felicity a small smile and ran a hand through his hair, a nervous habit. Too busy Felicity bustled by me toward the kitchen. Neil suddenly looked up and my eyes were locked with his amethyst ones. I heard a small cry escape my throat and I hurried out of the restaurant. 

I blindly made my way back home, my thoughts a mess. I felt furious, unjustifiably so. It was so unfair! Neil, who was socially inept and wildly unapproachable. Neil, who shunned company and almost never smiled. But, he’d smiled at her. Felicity, beauty incarnate. He’d let her squeeze his shoulder and touch his hand. It had taken weeks for Neil to take me seriously, to really talk to me. I had to be so patient to earn his smile, for him to be comfortable enough to feel my touch. Felicity hadn’t been frightened away by Neil’s scowl. 

I got home and sat down heavily on the bed. I blew out a breath and ran my fingers through my hair. So much anger and no idea what to do with it. It felt like a monster was clawing on my insides, I had no control. I told myself I was being unreasonable but that just made me angrier. This wasn’t me. I gasped, realising that I was jealous. I hadn’t had much experience with the emotion and I didn’t like it. Picturing Neil being with someone else, it would drive me insane. 

Suddenly, I was tired. Tired of waiting for that boy to be ready. The thought of rejection made my throat tighten but not knowing, that was so much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Based on Allen's black heart event


	28. Jealousy, the green eyed monster N.P.O.V

Chapter 28: Jealousy, a green eyed monster N.P.O.V

I tried to ignore the din of the overcrowded restaurant. I sat at a table close to the propped open front door. I was grateful for the fresh air, the busy restaurant was rather stifling. I’d gotten into the habit of spending my lunch break at Chez Clemont’s, it neighboured my stall on the town plaza. It was more convenient than going home and I almost always forgot to pack something to eat. Rod would bring something for me, if I let him. I looked down at the grains of wood on the table, looking for patterns, as I waited to be served. There was only one waitress, I knew it could take a while. 

I sighed and drummed my fingers on the table’s surface, I was trying to be patient. I looked up, scanning the restaurant for Felicity. I scowled, I wanted to enjoy my coffee before I had to go back to playing nice with customers. I cursed under my breath when I saw Felicity disappearing into the kitchen at the back. I stiffened when I caught a glimpse of a pair of bright blue denim dungarees, they looked familiar. I focused on the small table, tucked away discreetly in the corner. I squinted, despite the light from the windows the restaurant was dim. I did a double take when I saw Rachael eating dessert with, of all people, Allen. 

I straightened up in my seat and craned my neck to get a better look. It looked rather intimate, dessert for two. Rachael tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled broadly, Allen shrugged and leaned forward. Rachael didn’t notice, giving her full attention to the treat in front of her. My jaw twitched, Allen’s intentions couldn’t have been pure. My hands balled into fists on the table, I found it hard to remain where I was. I felt territorial, protective. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from shouting out. It appeared to be a date, I found that idea as nauseating as I did pudding. 

My insides churned, my blood boiled. The urge to go over and punch Allen, to drag Rachael away, was almost overwhelming. I gripped the edge of the table to anchor myself. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to apply a little logic. Rachael would never agree to go on a date with that snake, probably just jumped at the chance to get food. She’s not interested, just naive. Almost convinced, I opened my eyes and tried not to look. Not my business. I looked at anything else: the wall, the other customers, outside the open door. I focused on the cold air streaming in. I felt calmer but lost the battle of will, I shot a glance back over to where I knew they still were.   
I gasped, I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me. Allen was leaning over and stroking Rachael’s face. My stomach dropped and my chest clenched. I felt like someone had dropped a bucket of ice water over me. Doubt clawed at my mind, all of a sudden I wasn’t as sure as I had been minutes before. Rachael could be interested. Allen was what so many girls liked, the good looks and the honeyed words. It was hard to compete with a hairstylist. Shocked, I realised this was the first time I had compared myself to him. I rebelled against the unpleasant feeling, feeling my face scrunch up. Comparing myself because I wanted to be sitting where he was sitting, because he was the kind of guy she should be with. The type that would bring her to a nice restaurant and spoil her. 

Bitter bile filled my mouth and I swallowed hard. I felt small and insecure. A hollow pain seeped through my chest and echoed throughout my body. Fixated, I watched Rachael grimace and abruptly pull away. Despite myself I laughed as she almost fell out of her chair. I nervously looked around to see if anyone had heard, the sound hadn’t carried over the noisy restaurant. Looking back I saw that Allen had got up and was bent over Rachael’s ear. The smirk didn’t leave his face as he walked out, he didn’t see me. Better for him, I itched to knock that smirk off his face. 

My eyes made their way to the corner. All I could see was a curtain of blonde hair and a pair of elbows resting on the table. I startled when I felt somebody standing next to me. I snapped my head up, Felicity was gazing at me curiously as she held a menu out in front of her. I coughed into my hand and nodded at her. “Black coffee please.” I said, not taking the menu. 

Felicity sighed quietly and put the menu in front of me regardless. “All you ever order is a black coffee.” She chided. Felicity stood behind me and opened the menu, she began to point out dishes she thought I’d like. I wasn’t paying attention, she squeezed my shoulder gently. 

I looked down at my hands and bit my tongue. I subtly shrugged my shoulder and felt Felicity let go. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and I bent my head to the side. I knew Felicity was just being kind, she didn’t mean anything by it. She was like the dessert I detested, sweet and overbearing. I was uncomfortable with her standing so close but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. “That’s how I like it.” I grumbled, running a hand through my hair. 

Felicity sighed again but stepped back, she took the menu away with a flourish and bustled her way back to the kitchen. “Thanks.” I muttered too quietly for her to hear.   
I felt a pair of eyes boring into me, lifting my eyes up they locked with a pair of sapphire ones. I froze, they were hers. Rachael’s face was flushed and her nostrils flared, pieces of hair stuck around her face. I saw pain and anger flash across her eyes before she abruptly tore them away. She clasped her throat and hurried out of the restaurant. 

Felicity placed a cup in front of me, I didn’t thank her. I stared into the black liquid and let it go cold. My gut was one of the few things I trusted, I depended on it in my line of work. It told me that Rachael didn’t like Allen, she’d looked too flustered and unsettled. I sat still, my eyes unblinking. The lively restaurant faded into the background. Inside I was fuming, my head pounded and my blood ran hot. I couldn’t get his smirk out of my head, how he’d gotten so close to her. I sighed and straightened up, closing my eyes against a headache.

At the heart of my temper I felt a fragility I couldn’t hide from. The sickening realisation dawned on me that Rachael would say yes eventually, perhaps not to Allen or to her farmhand but to somebody. My face twisted, I desperately wanted that person to be me. I felt possessive and realised that I was jealous. I sulked, not liking the useless emotion one bit. It wasn’t fair, I hadn’t asked her but I didn’t want anyone else to either. The fear of getting hurt had held me back, more so the pain of hurting her. Her smiling and laughing with another guy, the thought of that hurt more. All of a sudden I felt impatient, to make my claim before it was too late. Leaving my untouched coffee I slowly walked back to work. Not seeing, just thinking. Soon, I thought.


	29. The confession

Chapter 29: The confession

The ring felt heavy in my coat pocket, like a ball of iron rather than a small ringlet of silver. It was the first of Winter and I painstakingly trudged through a world of white. The snow was already thick, I looked up and saw flakes slowly cascading to the ground. The damage had been done in the dead of night, morning had brought witness to a gleaming winter wonderland. It was like the Village was holding its breath. No birds were singing, the blanket of snow was pure and undisturbed, a weak sun struggled to break through the clouds and the rest of the villagers hadn’t yet begun to stir. Branches threatened to snap or drop their hefty burden of snow, paths were hidden and the ice was treacherous. Winter boots, a coat, scarf, hat, and gloves didn’t help. The cold seemed to seep into my bones and I shivered violently. 

I looked back at the footprints I had left and suddenly felt a pang of longing to follow them back, back to where the warmth of home was waiting. I sighed and reluctantly turned away. The Village was silent and time seemed to stand still, I paused and felt the weight of this moment. Going forward would mean risking our relationship never being the same again, retreating would mean that nothing had to change. Right now I was safe on the sidelines, playing the game would be dicey but I couldn’t win if I didn’t. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I had to lay my heart on the line, take a chance, or give up and be content with the way things were. Forward, back. I was plagued by doubt, afraid of feeling the sting of rejection. 

I carefully extracted the ring out of my coat pocket, I cupped my hands together and let the ring fall into the middle. I cradled the ring protectively as I held it close to my face. The ring was flawed, imperfect, a squared amethyst gemstone nestled in a simple circlet of silver. The ring represented my hopes and insecurities, it was a question not yet asked and an answer not yet given. It was a promise I’d made lovingly with my own two hands, a metal band I’d forged and let capture all of my emotions. 

In the stillness a calmness stole over me. I wanted to take a shot at happiness, to walk into the unknown. There the future lay uncertain but in the darkness answers could be found, the urgent need to know made time start to tick again and I stepped forward confidently. I balled my hand into a tight fist, trapping the ring securely inside. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life not knowing, of being left with regrets and what if’s. Mind made up I began to push through the snow faster.

***********************************************

I hesitated to knock on Neil’s front door, my hand suspended in the air. It was too early, much too early. I groaned, no longer convinced that a spur of the moment confession at the crack of dawn was a good idea. That’s what I got for trying to be romantic and spontaneous. Neil hated romance, probably spontaneity too. Of course he did. I shook my head and forced myself to focus, I wouldn’t sabotage myself by overthinking. I cocked my head to the side when I heard bustling from inside the house, footsteps and a kettle starting to boil. I squeezed my eyes shut and heard a high pitched squeak escape my throat, now or never! I rasped my knuckles against the front door. I opened my eyes and stared at the door in anticipation. Seconds ticked by and I bounced on the spot, a ball of nervous energy. 

I sucked in a breath when the door creaked open, Neil squinted at me through bloodshot eyes framed underneath by dark circles. I smiled tentatively and offered him a small wave. I cleared my throat. “Good Morning.” I said, trying to sound cheery. Neil moaned and dragged a hand over his face, he pulled the door back further and cursed when he was hit by the cold. I laughed awkwardly when I saw that he was only wearing a black short-sleeved t-shirt and boxer shorts. I forced my eyes to not look below Neil’s neck as I felt a blush attempt to warm my frozen cheeks, I pulled my scarf up to hide the bottom half of my face. Neil shivered, crossing his arms tightly against his chest. 

Neil moaned again, a deep sound that rumbled from his throat. He looked at me incredulously, narrowing his eyes. “Rachael.” He croaked. “What the hell…

“I need to talk to you.” I blurted out. I felt myself cringe, that sounded desperate. Neil sniffed and raised his eyes slightly. “Best come in then.” He mumbled. Neil turned away, leaving the door half-open. I quickly followed after him, shutting the door firmly as soon as I’d cleared the threshold. 

I stomped the snow off my boots on the door mat. Warmth enveloped me and I was grateful for central heating. I unzipped my coat and hastily shoved the ring into the front pocket of my dungarees. I hung up my coat and scarf. I smelled coffee and looked over to see Neil pouring hot water into two plain large mugs. I walked to the table and sat down. I made sure Neil’s back was turned before I pulled off my hat & gloves, setting them on the table, and smoothed down my hair. I stopped and sat up straight when Neil placed a steaming mug in front of me. “Thanks.” I muttered, blowing into the dark liquid. 

Neil grunted and sat opposite me, he took a cautious sip of his coffee before setting it down. I scoffed. “Aren’t you going to put on any trousers?” I asked. Neil looked at me through half-lidded eyes, he yawned and stretched his arms above his head. “No.” Neil said bluntly. “It’s five in the morning.” 

Neil took another sip of his coffee, he was clearly not impressed. I shrugged, not having a right to complain and it wasn’t like I wanted to. I felt myself flush, trying to look discreetly at Neil’s exposed physique. Morning Neil was grumpy, grumpier than usual. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” I teased. Neil looked at me deadpan. 

I pursued my lips, thinking of how to get a reaction. I smiled coyly and leaned forward. I rested my chin on my fist, obviously ogling. I twirled a lock of hair around my finger. Neil scowled and eventually snapped. “Quit it.” I sat back, laughing. I was disappointed that I hadn’t made him blush, apparently it was too early to care. Shame, normally he would. He was cute when he did.   
Neil drank his cup of coffee like a baby drank a bottle of milk, I hadn't touched my own. I took a sip and scrunched up my nose, it was bitter. I heard Neil chuckle and looked up, he seemed to have perked up a little. I shook my head reproachfully. I raised my eyebrows. “Cream? Sugar? Milk?” I asked. 

Neil made a grimace. “Ugh, no. Black like my soul.” He said. I made a face, this was the man I was going to confess to. I knew the guy hated anything sweet but that didn’t mean that his guests did. I frowned, reminding myself that Neil didn’t really entertain guests. But, I knew he liked milk. I tutted and helped myself to some from the fridge, pouring myself a large glass. I sat back at the table and shoved the mug of coffee to one side, it couldn't be saved. Neil looked like he wanted to say something but just shrugged, he claimed my abandoned mug. Tasting the milk I made a sound of appreciation, it was thick and creamy. Then again, it was from my livestock. I gifted milk and Neil told me the star-rating, a fair exchange. 

I shivered, cold milk on a cold day was perhaps not the best idea. Neil sighed, he leaned across the table and I watched him curiously. I leaned back slightly, unsure as to what he was doing. “Stay still.” Neil said gruffly. I froze, my eyes following him warily. Neil half extended out of his seat and reached his hand out to my face, I drew in a breath. My heart started to race, thumping in my ears. Neil swiped the pad of his thumb over the top of my upper lip. He leaned back, sucking his thumb before wiping it on his shirt. I let out a breathy laugh, my eyes flickering around the room. I gnawed on my bottom lip, a milk mustache was not attractive. 

I felt Neil’s eyes on me but suddenly feeling shy I couldn’t look at him, my heart still hadn’t slowed. I flushed, feeling self-conscious and alert. My throat felt swollen, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to breathe. My chest tightened and I felt a wave of dizziness. I felt hot, panic took root and I slipped into fight or flight mode. I couldn’t do this, I had to get out of here. All my courage deserted me, in a state of anxiety I was working myself up into a frenzy. I tried to think through the cloud that fogged my brain. There was no room for logic, just the need to escape. “Rachael, what’s wrong?” I heard the worry in Neil’s voice. No, no. I couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t hear him clearly over the ringing in my ears. 

I lurched up from my chair, making a beeline for the door. Halfway across the room I stumbled, I put my hands out to catch my fall. I heard something bouncing across the wooden floorboards, I snapped my head up to catch the ring skipping across the floor. My heart lurched, I clawed at the inside of my pocket desperately but I knew there was nothing there. Panic building I began to search wildly, my head bent downwards as I crawled forward on my hands and knees. I froze when I heard a chair scraping back and footsteps coming towards me. “Are you alright? What’re you doing?” Neil asked, concern dripping from his voice. 

I clumsily stumbled to my feet. In half a dozen steps I was at the door, I shoved my arms into my coat and my feet into my boots. I wanted to kick myself, this was not supposed to go like this. It was the complete opposite of what I had planned, envisioned. I felt a stab of disappointment, looking back for a second to throw Neil an apologetic look. I threw open the door, the cold blasting my face and whipping my hair. I closed it quickly behind me and hurried down the path, slipping on the ice and steading myself on the wooden gate. Leaving it open I made my way to where it was eternally Spring…  
*************************************  
I sat in the long grass, half hidden by reeds and wildflowers. My legs were pulled up to my chest, my head rested on my knees. The pond should have been frozen, the flowers wilted and the grass buried by snow. Instead, the turquoise Goddesses pond was calm and crystal clear. The snow melted at the pond’s perimeter, leaving a small circle of life that could not be touched by winter. The air smelt like Spring and I stared into the depths of the pond, looking for the fabled Goddess. I smiled to myself when I spotted a Moondrop flower, I plucked it delicately and placed it on the pond's surface. It floated for a while before it started to sink, an offering for the Goddess. 

I was so lost in thought I didn’t hear him approach, didn’t even know he was here until he sat down right next to me and my back bristled. A comforting hand stroked my hair back from my face. That felt so nice, a small sigh escaped my lips. I slowly turned my head up, a pair of amethyst eyes were inches away from my own. The vibrant violet irises swirled, for once not hiding how he was feeling. He was confused, worried. I brushed strands of hair away from his eyes, with my thumb I tried to smooth out the frown crease from in between his brows. It was obvious he had questions but neither of us broke the silence. The silence was tense, not tranquil, I spoke when I could no longer bear it. I placed my head on Neil’s shoulder and stared out across the pond. “How did you know I’d be here?” I asked. 

Neil sighed heavily and I felt him shrug his shoulders, my head jostled. “I didn’t.” He admitted. “But I know this is where you come, to think or when you’re upset. Your spot, thought I’d give it a shot.”

I laughed harshly without humour. “Because you know me so well.” I said bitterly. 

Neil let out a low chuckle, his breath caressed the side of my face. My nose twitched, it smelled like coffee. “I do but don’t blame me, that’s your own fault.” He retaliated. “It’s been hard not to when you haven’t left me alone all year.” 

I snorted and tried to fight the smile I could feel trying to break out on my face. “It’s the chase.” I pretended to say indifferently. “Once you start to show enough interest I’ll grow bored, move on.” 

Neil wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me tightly, pinning me close to his side. “Then I’ll have to show you plenty of attention.” He said. “That or ask Dunhill for a restraining order.”

Despite myself I laughed. I shook my head disapprovingly. “Your ego’s grown too big. Be careful or I’ll have to take it down a peg or two.” 

I looked up gauge his reaction to our familiar game of cat & mouse. His eyes gleamed as they met my own, a cocky grin played at the edges of his lips. “Was that a threat?.” He asked. I narrowed my eyes at him and pursed my lips. “Just a friendly warning.” I replied. 

Neil smirked but then a serious expression settled on his face. “What happened back there?” His voice was shaky. “You scared me when you ran out like that. I’m supposed to be the mean one, not you, remember?” 

I didn’t like the sound of that. That’s what most people thought, would think. But I wasn’t most people to him anymore and I knew better. I felt my brow pucker. “You’re not mean, not really. You just pretend to be.” I whispered. 

Neil raised his eyebrows. “Then what am I?” He questioned, a hint of curiosity in his tone. 

I shook my head again, this time in disbelief. How could he not know? If he didn’t I’d just have to tell him. “You’re you.” I confessed. “And you’re everything.”

The corners of Neil’s lips turned down and he frowned at me. I looked back at him solemnly, daring him to saything to the contrary. Neil’s face relaxed and I offered him a smile. He looked at me tenderly and gently stroked my arm. We stayed like this for a short while before he jostled me off his shoulder, I looked at him with a mixture of surprise and annoyance. I felt a little hurt but Neil just rolled his eyes. I gasped when he put his arms under mine and lifted me onto his lap, wrapped his arms around me and clasped his hands over my stomach. My heart fluttered, I just wished our heavy winter coats weren’t in the way. Neil placed his head on my shoulder, his hair tickled my ear. I looked down when I heard a zipping sound, I watched curiously as Neil searched for something in his coat pocket. He carefully drew out something small and shiny, the light gleamed off of it. I waited with baited breath, I think I knew what it was. Neil held his arm out in front of me and unfolded his hand, my suspicions were confirmed when I saw the amethyst ring in his palm.   
I eyed the ring cautiously. “Where did you find it?” I asked in a small voice. 

“Under the coffee table, it must’ve rolled there when you fell.” Neil said. 

“Oh.” I said lamely. I looked across the pond, watched the reeds dance and the water ripple in a gust of wind. It was easy to explain but hard to admit, I’d lost my nerve and ran away. Feelings of love were hard to profess, acknowledging the need to be with someone clashed with my pride. Maybe the Goddess would grant me courage, like the wizard of Oz did for the cowardly lion. 

Love wasn’t happily ever after like it was in fairytales, it didn’t conquer all. Rather it was hard work and compromise, too often love left you deflated and disappointed. Love was a two sided coin, if I flipped it I could get head or tails. But, love could lift you up and make you happier than you ever thought you could be. I cringed internally, my internal monologue making me feel like a poor version of Shakespeare. Neil squeezed me gently, waiting for me to say something. I knew he cared about me from the way he held me, from the way he touched me. Did he care about me enough to be with me? To open himself up to me completely? He’d come so far, we’d come so far. Had we come far enough…

Moisture filled my eyes and my throat constricted. I felt ready to burst, petrified but undaunted at the same time. “It’s a promise ring.” I rasped. “I love you.”

There, the words were out and I stiffly waited for a response. I felt free, I’d said the three words that had been bubbling inside. Neil drew in a sharp intake of breath and his arms fell away from me. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for him to say something was painful. I felt like I was suspended in the air, waiting for Neil to give me wings or send me crashing back down to Earth. I cocked my head to the side when I heard a zip undoing and a rustling, I tried to stay still on Neil’s lap as he moved. Another rustling, the feeling of something being in front of my face. I opened my eyes and cried out. Neil held a ring out in front of me, he held it out in the air next to the one I had made for him. My hand flew up to cover my mouth, I felt warm tears slide down my cheeks and I let out small muffled sobs. The ring was silver with a tear shaped sapphire framed by two small diamonds. Neil cleared his throat, his hands were shaking. 

“So is there anyone you’re interested or want to, you know, go out with? I-if not, then maybe I could be that guy?” He proposed, his voice full of emotion. 

“Yes, you. You idiot.” I blurted out. “I want you to be that guy, to be my guy.”

Neil cleared his throat again. “I’ll take that as a yes then.” He said. I laughed, positively giddy. I held out my right hand and Neil delicately slipped the ring onto my ring finger. I gently took his promise ring, that he still held up, and slipped it onto his ring finger on his right hand. Neil squeezed me so tightly I couldn’t breath, after a second he loosened his grip and nestled his head into the side of my neck. “I was never interested in love.” He confessed, his voice muffled. “And, I don’t get along with people very well. But with you… it’s… I got a little closer. Err, I mean. I think I was able to get more involved with you.”

“I love you, that’s how I feel. Are you really sure you want to go out with me?” My heart was filled with so much light and happiness but it felt like it wanted to break at that. I carefully extracted myself from Neil’s arms and moved off his lap. I hated to be away from his arms but I needed to get through to him. I knelt on the grass in front of Neil and tilted his chin up with my hand. I smiled and looked earnestly into his eyes. I didn’t want to hold anything back, not now. I felt closer to him than I ever had, closer than what I ever thought we could be. I cupped his face with both my hands. “Without a shadow of a doubt.”

Neil’s eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks and nose. I giggled, he was too cute. Neil scowled and a glint flashed across his eyes. I gasped when he pushed me down into the grass and pulled my legs out so they were in front of me. Neil hovered over me, his chest on top of mine and his arms on either side. His buckled coat pressed into me and his hair brushed my face. It was my turn to blush, a heat that blossomed across my skin. Neil smirked, I tried and failed to pout at him. Neil’s face turned thoughtful. “I don’t really have any idea how to proceed from here.” He mused. 

“Then it’s a good thing that I do.” I grabbed Neil’s face roughly and pressed my lips to his. He let out an ‘oumph’ of surprise. I tangled a hand in Neil’s hair and pulled, urging him to come closer. Neil lowered himself, his body pressing harder against my own. I wrapped my calf around his leg, we were deliciously tangled together and I felt a thrill go through me. Neil held his weight carefully with one arm and he cupped my cheek with the other, he kissed me back urgently. I moaned slightly and pulled myself up, deepening the kiss. It was a kiss of passion and desire. The kind of kiss that you read about but doubted existed, the kind that felt like fireworks were going off inside. I kissed Neil in a frenzy until my lungs burned from lack of oxygen. Panting, I broke away and collapsed back onto the grass. Neil rolled off me, he was panting too. We lay there, trying to catch our breath. 

The minutes passed and our breathing finally slowed and normalised. Neil rolled onto his side and looked down at me. I smiled, his lips looked very kissed and I was tempted to kiss him again. Butterflies flooded my stomach, I felt love for him in what felt like every fibre of my being. I watched cautiously as concern flickered across Neil’s face. He frowned and I raised an eyebrow, there was a sudden sadness radiating off of him. He wasn’t trying to hide it, I could see it in his eyes. “I want to be with you.” Neil rasped. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

I tried to let all the love I felt for him, in that moment, rise to the surface and show in the way I looked at him. “We could hurt each other. That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” 

I’d used the word ‘could’ like it was a possibility rather than an inevitability. Being together wouldn’t be perfect, there'd be obstacles and challenges but we’d face them. I knew every second would be worth it, to be deliriously happy or at least to leave myself open to be. 

“Me too.” Neil whispered. Amethyst burned into Sapphire. I knew then that he was my new beginning.


End file.
